How to Deal With Negative Emotions

Often, people deal with negative emotions by pushing them away. And this ’method‘ does seem to work when the emotion is weak. Since it seems to work, people tend to push negative emotions away whenever they arise. And eventually this ‘method’ becomes a habit.

When the habit is established, people automatically try to do the same, even when the emotion is strong. If it doesn’t work, they will likely try harder. Then, maybe it works, or maybe not. Either way, there will be a time when it doesn’t work anymore, no matter how hard they try. At this point, they will be in a tight spot.

Instead of getting yourself into this situation, it’s best to find the proper way to deal with negative emotions much earlier. But usually people do get into this situation first. So, let me share how you can deal with negative emotions in two parts:

A. When You Automatically Try to Push Away Negative Emotions

• If you’re already in a tight spot as mentioned above, just do this simple practice: Feel the body, breathe, relax. Once you become more relaxed, you’ll feel more at ease.
• If you’re not in a tight spot, you still have an unhealthy habit to deal with. Don’t try to stop the habit. Instead, when it happens, just recognise what the mind is doing. Let the mind gradually understand experientially how trying to push away negative emotions is simply increasing stress. As you keep recognising that, the habit will gradually weaken on its own.

B. When You Don’t Automatically Try to Push Away Negative Emotions

• When negative emotions arise, view them just as they are: “Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings.”
• If despite doing the above, you find yourself mostly sinking into the emotions, go back to the simple practice: Feel the body, breathe, relax.
• When the negative emotions are not happening, which means you’re not thinking the negative thoughts, question the idea of those thoughts. Let's say you have the idea “My husband hates me.” Ask yourself these questions:

1. 1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, skip to question 3.)
   2. Is it possible for me to be 100% sure that it is true? (Yes or no.)
   3. What happens to me when I hold that idea?
   4. What kind of person would I be without that idea?

• Consider if the opposite of that idea might be true or perhaps even truer. E.g.,
  • “My husband doesn’t hate me.”
  • “I hate my husband.”
  • “I hate me.”

If the above is not enough to help you, consider seeking help from a professional.

Writer's profile: https://justpaste.it/kumara