(TRANS) 180814 Zhang Yixing full interview, from 理娱客 (Part 2)
Source | Translated by laymerence
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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Q: I feel that making music is very hard, have you thought of taking a break, or going on holiday?
ZYX: Wow, this thought, I think about it 300 days out of 365 days, but I only just stop at thinking about it.
Q: Have you mentioned this before, or do you...
ZYX: I've mentioned it before, but because of some sudden changes or schedules, these things will be cancelled.
Q: For example if you were to mention it to your team and colleagues, what will they say?
ZYX: They'll support it, they'll really support it!
Q: You've mentioned it in your letter before, saying that actually the time you meet your parents is also a schedule.
ZYX: Yes, sometime I can't see them
Q: Even when you go to the area you can't see them?
ZYX: Grandma and grandpa I'll definitely see, but sometimes I see dad less, mum will sometimes fly over.
Q: Will they tell you, seeing their son so exhausted, advising you to rest?
ZYX: They do, they ask me to look after my health and so on, but when I look back at my age, my goodness I'm 27, my goodness, when I first came over, I was a 20-something young man.
Q: Are you afraid of your age?
ZYX: Not of age, slowly as you get older, you have to be careful, but I was shocked, really, looking back, aiyo my goodness I'm 27.
Q: It's a sense of danger
ZYX: I've always had a sense of danger, it's just an exclamation, just that my goodness, I'm 27, I dare not think about it anymore.
Q: There are so many young artistes behind you now, will you feel like you have to speed up even more and go forwards?
ZYX: I don't know if I can speed up and go forwards, either way I have never stopped. I hope that these new artistes will all be well, and drive this cultural industry forwards, to allow more people to like our Chinese (works).
Q: Do you worry?
ZYX: Me?
Q: Do you worry about competition?
ZYX: I wouldn't say it's worry, this is a law of the universe which I do understand. When you reach a certain age, the new replaces the old.
Q: What do you feel that your greatest advantage or strength is in this industry?
ZYX: Up until now...
Q: Reaching this height.
ZYX: No I dare not (T/N: that's too kind), that everyone looks on me favourably, it's just hard work. Hard work, and being direct, my personality is more direct, and more real.
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Q: Dilligence, hard work, when do you feel these words really started (not to say representing you) enter your life?
ZYX: When I was 17 years old, and went to Korea to be a trainee. That was the first time I had the feeling of wanting to work hard, when my mum turned away, my mum brought me to Korea and turned to leave, then I sent her off at the airport, that was the first time I wanted to work hard. Then the second time I wanted to work hard was when I was a trainee and fought with others and was sent back, I felt that I had no way out, that if I went (back to Korea) this time, and I didn't learn anything well. Because to me back then, I didn't have anything, if the company said you were out, and sent you out, you were out, if the company didn't let you back you couldn't come back. So that time I felt immense pressure, including back then when I participated in a competition in Hunan, I felt like many people knew me, girls from other schools came to see, oh Zhang Yixing Zhang Yixing, back I was inflated in all sorts of ways. So from when I was 17, and fought... I felt, hard work was a must, if I didn't work hard I was done for.
Q: Actually I believe in hard work too, but some times I will wonder, whether this is real, because I feel that someone might be able to do better than me, but he might not have invested very much (hard work). Do you have these self-doubts too?
ZYX: Yes, of course, when I was young. Actually I told myself one thing, actually everyone else is the same, recently I said this too when someone else was interviewing me and asked this question. Who wants to work hard? Who doesn't want to lie in bed and rest every day, to laze around? Being lazy is normal, I want to be lazy too, I want to eat delicious food every day when I go home, and lie down to rest after every meal. Why do I practice, right? I don't have to practice piano, guitar, dance, all of this I don't have to practice, and I don't have to compose either. How nice it would be to just lie there and enjoy all the luxuries every day. But that's not possible. If the heavens gave you the best, for example if you'd never practised dance, but the heavens gave you the best dancing skills, that's a gift the heavens have given you, then OK, accept this gift and do what you should do, to impact more people. But if you don't, then work hard, if you want this, then work hard to gain it. Who doesn't want to be lazy? I want to be lazy too, but I can't.
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Q: My strongest impression was that weibo essay you wrote about 2012 January. That day, to Zhang Yixing, was debut day, was there a special meaning to you that day?
ZYX: Which essay about 2012?
Q: 26 January
ZYX: 26 January, I don't remember what I wrote, what was it?
Q: In 2012 when you desperately wanted to release an album
Q: Oh, when I was looking back on myself 6 years ago.
Q: Because when you had written it, 17 January was artiste Zhang Yixing's debut day. I want to know back then, what were you thinking?
ZYX: I was hoping that my waist wouldn't break. Really, really I'm not joking, this is what it was like then. A member and I, KAI, our waists were not good, back then I had directly impinged on a nerve and couldn't move. Then, because my mother had a spinal disc prolapse too, she's had a surgery before and knew that it wasn't good, so mum told me not to go for surgery, so I lay in bed for 2 months. My other member went for surgery, he lay in bed for 2 months, but I didn't have surgery, because back then my mum strongly opposed to me going for surgery.
Q: She was more conservative?
ZYX: No, my mum had a surgery before and she didn't get better. So she said I must not go for surgery, she said with your waist you had to recuperate, so I lay on the floor for 2 months, 1 month, over a month, yes. But other members were all practising, back then I actually felt a lot of pressure. Then after 1 month I had no choice, at this point if you don't get up and dance you'll never keep up. Over a month, my goodness, what do I do? So I found the worst method, to me it was the best method, (joint) injections. So I bore with the pain to stand up, because I'd been lying down for over a month, so I had gradually recuperated somewhat, then went for a (joint) injection, when the injection went in, I was really anxious, please don't break my waist! Really don't break my waist, the other member and I had waist problems, and that was what we were most afraid of.
Q: Did you have any thoughts or dreams about the future then?
ZYX: No, just to quickly debut, because to me, only when I debuted would I not be discarded, you know? Do you know what I mean? If I continued lying there I would have been discarded.
Q: Normally, people look back and write a weibo essay 5 years or 10 years after debut, why was it precisely 6 years?
ZYX: There was no special reason, just at the time...
Q: You had feelings
ZYX: I had feelings, yes, and I couldn't help myself, there's no requirement of posting it after a certain number of years, I could have posted one a year after debut, no?
Q: Back then, in your weibo you used (this phrase) 5 times, "I doubt you" or "I doubted you". Back then, did you doubt yourself or your ability?
ZYX: Of course, because actually the reverse side to all my hard work, is uncertainty and fear. Yes, otherwise why work hard? If you feel like you're already incredible, you're stable, you've already definitely won, then why work hard. The reverse side of hard work is actually uncertainty and fear.
Q: What were you fearful of then?
ZYX: Not being able to debut, I didn't have my studies then either, being fearful that I would be eliminated, and not being able to stand up. Because back then it was very cruel, being eliminated, hoping that even if I were eliminated, I could hold my head high and walk out of the company's door, and not just feel like I've wasted my time there. So I encouraged myself, so speaking of that in my third album there's a song called "Persist"; this song, makes me teary-eyed every time I listen to it
Q: Teary-eyed
ZYX: He wrote it rather like me.
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Q: A large element to hard work, is that you have to persist, because only if you persist will you have a result, In making music, I really understand you, you were crying to release an album, because to every musician that's a really important thing. Back then, what thoughts did you have about an album?
ZYX: I really wanted to release an album, because I'm different, I'm my own producer in making music. So music is something I've actually worked very very very very hard in. But every time I give (my music) to someone else, I just... Including the song that I wrote for EXO "Promise", it was very difficult. I had my own judgement, it's not that I don't judge (my) music, I know which songs I've made well, which songs aren't good. If they aren't good (songs), I'll have passed (eliminated) them here, I wouldn't give song that aren't good to others. So back then I said to the company, actually this song is really... to me, I really wanted to say, I'm saying that this song is good, trust me, it's right. Back then, the first time I let them listen to it, no one liked it. Later I let various managers listen to it. I said, ge, listen to this song, this song is really nice.
Q: You were promoting it.
ZYX: I was promoting my song "Promise", this song was really nice.
Q: How did they react?
ZYX: Oh oh oh, good good good, just like that.
Q: Actually there was no outcome.
ZYX: No outcome, but I didn't let it go to heart. Then I remember when I was talking to a manager, playing this song in the car, I said this song is really nice, listen to it. I feel that EXO should really use this song. They used it. Yes, then the members liked it too, I felt quite happy.
Q: Actually that was your first work that received recognition?
ZYX: Yes
Q: When you first debuted, in the industry, were there any artistes or singers that were your own goal or idol?
ZYX: Wow, there are too many goals and idols. All the artistes that I've met and never met are my idols. I'm a little fanboy too, I like all sorts of celebrities, becuase I'd never seen them before. Of course in the area of music thare are many respected seniors, for example JJ-ge (JJ Lin), Wang Lee Hom senior, Jay Chou senior, and Khalil Fong senior, who brought R&B... to allow everyone...
Q: David Tao.
ZYX: Yes teacher David Tao too, teacher Harlem Yu too.
Q: Do you feel that the people you like, have qualities that are actually similar to you?
ZYX: I've never actually carefully thought about that, but I feel that every senior, as long as you interact with them, you can learn some quality from them, including the Go Fighting geges too. Actually I feel that Go Fighting is a very good experience for me, it allowed me to meet the 5 geges that helped me most in life, and allowed me to appear in front of audiences, and allow audiences to get to know me and have more chances to hear my music, so I am very happy.
Q: When you first started working in China, at the time you were uncertain, what were you thinking?
ZYX: I was lost, I didn't know what to do.
Q: Were you very conflicted then?
ZYX: Not conflicted, I just didn't know what to do. The manager managed this, so I handed it over to them, when the manager said this was good, I appeared on it.
Q: What were your thoughts then? When you just came back to China, what was your plan for your overall career, or what did you want to do?
ZYX: My thoughts were rather simple. I just wanted to prove that everyone that Zhang Yixing could, Zhang Yixing could do many things. Because actually, when I say this I'm afraid that there'll be some dispute. But from the time when I debuted, then came back (to China), all my developments up till then, actually there are many things that people can't see, and so you have to think of ways to allow others to see it. Including my music now, many people can't hear my music, I must think of ways to allow others to hear my music, to know whether this music is good. That's the same for me, I actually want to tell others that Zhang Yixing can do it, and can do it well, Zhang Yixing is passionate, he has a passion for his job, and works hard, and has good fortune. Of course, good fortune plays a very large part.
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Q: To allow more people to see your music, actually you need more platforms.
ZYX: Yes.
Q: In the current situation, could you just be a good musician quietly? Why do you have to do all sorts of other work?
ZYX: Everyone wants different things, just like me. Actually I hope to get recognition, so I will go to enrich myself, and keep allowing myself to upgrade, levelling up my own set of skills, that is what I want. Because other people won't know you do music, including the producers I worked with on music recently, he couldn't believe that you make music, that's impossible, how could you make music, aren't you a celebrity, aren't you just a vase (T/N: talentless)? Many people feel that way.
Q: I heard that story about showing others the track.
ZYX: Yes yes, it was.
Q: Do other people really think that way?
ZYX: Yes, I don't know if it's still the case now, but when I just started off, really. Other people have a reason to doubt you, everyone says they make music, then make it yourself. I said, there should be a show, which is that there is no one else, just a room, and a sound system, you make it yourself, and you create a song. That would be amazing, and everyone could see. Then when you collaborate, others will know, and collaborators wouldn't (doubt) either. Including the Western musicians that I work with too, everyone listening to it are all, wow, there is some recognition (there), (I'm) quite happy.
Q: When I hear this story, in my heart I'm a little... if I were a musician, and I had to bring out my works, my tracks, my...
ZYX: Yes...
Q: (As) proof.
ZYX: But you know? Actually later this became a habit, when I made others listen to it, I wouldn't just listen to a mp3, I must open that source file too, open it to allow them to listen to it, that is something I must do, and now it has become like habit.
Q: In 2016, that Top Chinese Music Awards, then I was reporting live, and when I heard part of your award speech I was rather moved.
ZYX: Which award?
Q: You received a best movie theme...
ZYX: Ah, that was the first time I won an award, right?
Q: Yes, and you said a speech then, saying I must show you my music, I really want to know what exactly happened that night?
ZYX: That night was actually, rather, because then, I saw many artistes, singers, receiving awards on stage. I felt my music did well, and I was hoping for an award too. Then suddenly they gave me an award, although it was backstage, I know too that this award must have been something fans voted hard for, then the show's organisers gave this award. I was rather moved, as it proved that my music was did well. Then it was for "Alone", yes I believe it was "Alone", yes, I was too immature then.
Q: So you cried.
ZYX: Yes, back then really, because that award was too meaningful to me. Yes, because of that award, I thought yes, you can do this, you can persist in creating music. Then I said I wanted to bring Chinese music into the world. Then I didn't think much, it was out of anger, really out of anger, I really felt that my music could do it, yes.