Hello ???, everyone! This ⬆ is ? one 1⃣1⃣ of the weirdest sites: or your money ?? back ⬅⬅! We have ? ZIM, neopets, music ???, and much, much, more ➕➕. E-mail ?? us for questions, comments, complaints and information ??. Why ? not click ? on ??? the Very Weird ??? Stuff link ??? to see ? more ➕➕➕, or click ?? on ? the music ? link ??? We have ? halloween ??? and christmas ❄❄❄ pictures on ?? the NeoPics link ???. Cheese ? is ? not a ??? wild ? thing!!!!!!!!! Now I have ??? decided to go for a ??? world ??? record ???. I will try to make the longest web page ever, made completely out ?? of text ?! Won't that be fun ?? I will just type ⌨⌨, and type ⌨⌨, and never, ever use copy and paste. Wow ???...I really must be bored ??. Just goes to show ??? what ? boredom can do to you. Any way ↕↕↕, that's it for now. Wait ??, no ? it isn't, I still have ??? to keep going, and going, and going. Because I do. THE REST ? OF THE STUFF I TYPE ⌨⌨ WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. THAT IS ? ALL. SEEYA! Hi ?, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅. So far this ⬆ is ? nowhere near the world ?? record ??. I think. I don't exactly know where it is ?...oh, well. I'll just have ??? to do the very best that I can. No ??? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ is ? really coming here ??, anyway. So it doesn't matter. By the way ↕↕↕, TAB is ? a ?? worthwhile, community-service ??? organization. The form link ??? is ? to a ? 100 ???% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out ?? just for laughs. I can't believe I'm ⓂⓂⓂ bothering to do this ⬆. I have ? very low expectations of my site. None ever comes here ??, I could do this ⬆ all day long and I still wouldn't have ?? any more ➕ hits. This ⬆ is ? just a ? pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. May your day be shiney! The following is ? an extremely weird ?? poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a ?? relatively weird ??? mood:
never mind that noise ??? my dear can anyone pass ?? the cheese ? only if you say pretty please ? oh, boy ?? do I have ?? to sneeze. why ? must everyone always ? rhyme, why ? I’m a ? poet and don’t I know it? what ? I fear comes right ▶▶ after here ?? not this ⬆ life ? or the next ⏭⏭⏭ will I ever be able to pass ? the test ???? we’re stuck in here ??, (alone my dear) and we’ll problem ⚠⚠ never get ??? out ?? so don’t start ?? to shout. it’s dark ??? and I want to go home ? is ? where the heart ❤❤ was where is ? it now? we’ll never know but oh crap it’s starting to snow ? and it’s time ⌚ to show ? and tell about the well that you found last summer ?? at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why ? must this ⬆ be I liked that tree ? but now it’s gone, farewell ? so long I’ll miss you as long as you write ?? but then I’m afraid to say good ???-night ??. my dear there’s nothing ?? to fear that’s only a ??? box ?? that’s made of blocks next ⏭ to the wagon that looks like ??? a ? dragon ??? why ? are you shaking it’s your fear that is ? making you shiver and act all a ?? quiver. don’t you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here ?? and certainly not a ??? post that acts like ? a ??? ghost ????
See ???, very weird ?. At least it fills up ??? my word quota for the day. Not that I exactly have ??? a ?? word quota for the day. It just sounded very professional to say it. Anyway, I still don't think that anyone is ? actually coming here ??. You'd have ? to be an absolute loser ??? (or really bored ??) to come here ??. I'd probley come here ??, but that isn't much of a ? surprise ???. After all, I've ?????? been to the Really Really Big Button ⚫⚫⚫ That Doesn't Do Anything website ? over 50 times. Pathetic. But, whatever. As long as I'm ⓂⓂ happy ?, right ▶▶. Humor the crazy person ?, okay ???? Oh, guess what ?? According to someone you problem ⚠ don't know, this ⬆ is ? the second most pointless website ? ever! Next ⏭⏭⏭ to the Really Big Button ⚫⚫, of course. I feel special. Come on ??? everyone, group ? hug. Okay ??, now I'm Ⓜ starting to scare myself...I'm ⓂⓂ gonna quit for today. Seeya. Now I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅. Is ? this ⬆ getting confusing to you? Too bad ??. Now I want you to go to this If you do this ⬆ I'll get ? points in the game ?. Come on ??? all you non-existing people ???! Help ? me! You know you want to! It's a ? worthy cause ?! Honestly, the more ➕ time ⌚⌚⌚ I waste playing the game ??, the less ➖➖➖ time ⌚⌚ I'll work ??? on ? this ⬆ site and the less ➖➖➖ stuff you gotta read ??. Although why ? you'd be here ?? if you didn't want to read ? is ? beyond me. Maybe you're lost ???. Okay ??, if you want to get ??? out ??, click ?? the little refresh ?? button ⚫⚫, okay ???? Good ???...what ?? You say it didn't let you out ??? Oh, well. You must be caught in a ??? time ⌚⌚ warp. Keep pressing it. Maybe you'll break ? free ???. What ?'s that. The little counter at the bottom ??? keeps going up ??? Never mind. That's just how ? many times you have ? to click ??? before you can leave. Good ???-bye.

Hey, I'm ⓂⓂ once again: back ⬅. I don't suppose you fell for that little thing about the refresh ?? button ⚫. After all, you're a ??? responsible, intelligent person ?? who ? apparently has a ?? lot of time ⌚⌚⌚ on ? your hands ???. Well, you can't possibly have ?? more ➕➕ time ⌚ than I do. I mean ???, after all, I made this ⬆ site. You're only browsing it. And most people ? don't even come here ??. Not even my friends...*sniffle* The just ignore this ⬆ poor, pathetic little page. All they do is ? fill out ?? the TAB form and leave. I think. Maybe they're here ?? right ▶▶▶ now! HI ?! HOW ? ARE YOU DOING? I'M Ⓜ FINE! THANKS FOR COMING! YES ???, I'M ⓂⓂ YELLING! Who ? am I kidding. This ⬆ page won't get ??? a ??? single hit ???, unless I bribe people ??...now that has possibilities. Okay ??, fill out ?? the TAB form, so I have ? proof that you bothered to come here ?? and...uh...I'll...uh...send you a ??? sandwich ??????? Please ??? allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ bored ??. I'm ⓂⓂ gonna go hug a ??? moose. MOOSE! I love ??-d you moose! Hey, I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅ again! Yea ???...*waits for applause ?* okay ??! Now I want all you loyal fans...*cricket ??? chirps* to go to the link ??? to see ??? what ? I'm Ⓜ like ??. I took a ?? whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ an evil ??? villain, kitty and a ??? freakazoid so far. And I only took the quiz ??? once, too. Spooky ?⚡? how ? accurate they are...anyway, I command you to go! I'm Ⓜ going. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonna start ?? counting how ? many times I say back ⬅⬅⬅. Let's see ?: 1...2...3...4...5! Wow ?. I must really be desperate for something to do. I now officially have ? proof that someone has been here ??! It was one 1⃣1⃣ of my friends. Apparently this ⬆ page really is ? getting long, because my friend ??? said something to that effect. Maybe. Anyway, moving ??? on ??! I'm Ⓜ just basically typing nothing ??. Just like ? all those reports people ??? have ??? to do. You know? With a ??? specific number of words ??. They start ? out ?? with half that number, and then just fill in words ??? until they have ? the right ▶▶▶ amount. I salute those people ??. You're great ?????? tradition is ? being carried out ?? here ??, on ? the second most pointless site ever! Well. Maybe eventually some weird ??, bored ??? person ?? will wander onto my site on ??? accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a ??? live video ??? feed of a ??? coffee ☕☕ maker. Or maybe not. I only know that I'm ⓂⓂⓂ entertaining me, which was my original goal. So. I've ???? done what ? I've ?????? set out ?? to accomplish. Yea ??, me! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ so special. You see ?, most people ???, they don't like ?? reading or writing ??. So if you're not most people ??, you've ?? made it down ⬇⬇ this ⬆ far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes ??? version. (Which I think does not exist) My point ?? is ?, if you've ?????? bothered to read ? this ⬆, then, (like ? me) you probley have ?? also read ??? the ketchup bottle ??? so many times that you have ?? it down ⬇⬇ verbatim. Look ??? verbatim up ???. It's a ?? word. But, you should know that, since you like ??? reading. Or maybe you're just skimming. Anyway, there's nothing ?? wrong with reading food ??? labels. You might be asked a ?? question ❓❓ about them on ?? a ? quiz ? show ???. And now, for the million-dollar ??? question ❓❓: How ? many calories are there in a ??? single serving of Mustard? I can just see ? it now...It could be called Know-Your-Food ?. Or You are What ? you Eat ???. It'd probley be as popular as those game ??? shows that no ? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣'s ever heard of. Speaking of food ???, what ?'s up ? with pie? There's strawberry ?? pie, apple ?, pumpkin ?? and so many others, but there is ? no ?? grape pie! I know. I'm Ⓜ just as upset ?? about this ⬆ unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. Think about it. Grapes ?? are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. What ? makes them undesirable for pie? Would they dry into raisins? Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a ? piecrust and bake it? It just doesn't make any sense. Another thing that bothers me is ? organ grinders. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music ??? thingy and the cute little monkey ? with the bellhop hat ??? who ? collects the money ??? Okay ???. They're basically begging on ?? the street. How ? did they ever afford an organ-thingy? Wouldn't it make more ➕➕ sense to get ?? a ? kazoo, if you're broke? And if they're so poor, what ? possessed them to buy ??? a ?? monkey ?? I mean ???, I don't think I could afford a ??? monkey ??, and I'm ⓂⓂ not exactly on ??? the streets. Obviously I at least have ?? a ? computer ??...so, back ⬅⬅⬅ to the organ grinders. I would have ? sold the monkey ? and the organ and been able to eat ? for at least a ?? year. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill ?? the monkey ??? with the organ and eat ?? it. Why ? on ??? earth ? did they keep the monkey ???? It must have ??? cost a ??? fortune to feed...not to mention the mess. That's just one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ of those many facts of life ? that are better left ◀ mysteries. Especially since no ? one 1⃣ but me would ask the question ❓❓. I better go. I think I hear ??? a ?? monkey ??...Okay ???...now I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. That's the sixth time ⌚⌚ I've ???? said back ⬅⬅! I realize that this ⬆ longest text ? ever must be very boring and not worth anyone's time ⌚. But I'd like ? to take this ⬆ time ⌚⌚ to thank the 2 and 1/2 people ?? in the entire universe who ? have ??? bothered to read ? this ⬆ entire thing. I'm ⓂⓂ not exactly sure who ? they are, but: thanks! Right ▶▶ now, my spacebar is ? malfunctioning...that's not good ???...I have ?? to press ??? it two ✌✌ or three 3⃣3⃣3⃣ times just to insert a ?? freaking space ???. Maybe the evil ? little faeries with the sharp little teeth ?? have ? put their evil ?? faerie dust on ? my computer ???. Or maybe not. This ⬆ is ? too frustrating. Goodbye ??? for now...Now I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. And still frustrated ??. But for a ??? different reason. Today I had the misfortune of playing a ? Treasure Planet ? game ??? on ? neopets.com It was terrible. Apparently the point ?? of the game ??? was to get ?? your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on ?? the rocks, all the while listening to a ? soundtrack that is ? similar to a ??? dying ceiling fan. Of course, when I started out ?? I accidentally hit ??? the rocks approximately three 3⃣3⃣ million times. Halfway though I used my four 4⃣ remaining brain-cells to decide that the game ? was dumb. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing ? evilly while my character died. So the game ? naturally did everything it could to preserve my life ?. The stupid game ??? is ? still going on ? and I refuse to quit because I want my points. My character is ? actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. I hate ?? irony. Seeya. Okay ?. Now I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅ again. Today I added an update page, which is ? basically a ??? less ➖➖ chaotic, outlined version of this ⬆ without all the ranting. It's more ➕ like ?? techno talk ?? about arrays and how ? much I suck and whether or not the Braves will win ??? this ⬆ year. Okay ???, the whole braves thing is ? made up ??. But everything else I've ?????? said so far is ? true. I think. Maybe I should start ??? on ??? a ?? boring disclaimer...Eh-hem. All contents of this ⬆ site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Any use thereof that is ? not stated in the above ?? mentioned statement would make the author, hereby referred to as Patron Saint ???? of Paper ? Clips, very angry ???. Should you violate the purpose of this ⬆ site: i.e. become not entertained, the Patron Saint ???? of Paper ??? Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. This ⬆ is ? specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken ??? Handbook. Ooooo…that’s a ??? great ???? idea ??! I’m gonna start ??? quoting from the Flaming Chicken ??? Handbook! Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken ?? Handbook states that the Patron Saint ???? of Paper ? Clips (that’s me) is ? allowed to cause ? vague, pain like ?? sensations while the offending person ?? (or alien ??? life ? form, dog ??, etc.) isn’t paying attention. Now I have ? a ??? purpose in life ?! To make up ?? quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken ??? Handbook, which I’m sure you have ? a ??? copy of. No ?? Too bad ???. It’s in the mail ??, I promise! Now I must take my leave…and remember. Cheese ?? is ? watching. Okay ???...I'm Ⓜ back ⬅...I think that eventually half of this ⬆ thing will consist of the word back ⬅⬅ over and over again...that's just weird ?. Which fits the motif of the rest ? of the site. There's even a ??? money ?? back ⬅⬅ guarantee. Isn’t' that nice? See ???? Now no ? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. Especially since I don't have ? viewers. I have ??? readers. Wait ?...I really don't even know if anyone bothers to read ??? this ⬆. Even if I put it in a ??? less ➖➖➖ chaotic, more ➕➕➕ user ?-friendly format people ?? would still ignore this ⬆ because it involves: reading. Yes ??. Sad ?? to admit, but the majority of people ??? would rather read ? the summary at the back ⬅⬅ of a ?? book ?? rather than the whole book ?? itself. What ? has the world ??? come to? It's pathetic. Especially since I'm ⓂⓂⓂ bothering to write ??? all this ⬆. It's not fair! Why ? can't I have ??? more ➕➕ readers?! All the other internet ??? writers have ?? nothing ??? on ?? me, except they're better at advertising, having a ?? central ???? theme/plot and basically more ➕➕➕ talented. Whereas I'm Ⓜ more ➕➕➕ into the whole ranting and raving stage ?? right ▶▶▶ now. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. Which is ? bad ???. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. The single greatest invention of the computer ??? gods. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ getting bored ??, so I think I'm ⓂⓂⓂ done for the day. May your day be shiney! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅ again! And I feel weird ??! I found at that yet another one 1⃣ of my friends is ? reading this ⬆. Creepy ?. Just how ? much time ⌚⌚⌚ do they have ??? on ?? their hands ?. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. I can just see ??? it now...an organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace ✌✌, or love ?? or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I wonder what ? it's name would be. Don't Ignore Sites? Would it be called DIS? Isn't that like ?? a ?? slang term for an insult? Would that be considered poetic justice, or just a ? nice coincidence? And why ? do I even care? I'll tell you why ?. Because I have ?? nothing ? else to do right ▶▶▶ now. I could be playing neopets, but ever since my bad ?? experience with Treasure Planet ???, I don't feel like ?? it. Oh, by the way ↕, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer ? turns the word probley into to word problem ⚠. To prevent this ⬆, I did nothing ?. So, it is ? now up ? to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean ?? probley or problem ⚠⚠⚠...it's almost like ? a ??? game ???! But without the bad ??? sound ?? track. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die ⚰. Moving ? on ???, I have ?? nothing ? else to say, but don't feel like ??? quitting just yet. I'm Ⓜ like ? the little engine that could. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny ??. I just keep going, and going and going. Or I could be like ? that annoying guy ??? on ? T.V ✌. who ? keeps asking if you can hear ?? him. If my site manages to last a ?? decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what ? I'm ⓂⓂ talking about. My answer ✅✅ is ? simple. It doesn't matter. I'm ⓂⓂ just rambling. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Doesn't that make you feel better? I bet ? it does. Wow ???. Look ??? how ? long this ⬆ has gotten. I even impress myself. Who ? would have ? thought I have ??? this ⬆ much free ?? time ⌚? And I congratulate any reader who ? has gotten this ⬆ far. Ooooooo! You must check out ?? the fortunes section of the random ?? stuff page! I've ?????? just gotten an idea ??? for some more ➕➕➕, original, fortunes...I gotta go!(may the moose be with you) And now I am back ⬅⬅. I swear. If iI fill out ?? the fake tab form I'm ⓂⓂ gonna have ? to put back ⬅⬅⬅ as my favorite ?? word...I already have ??? filled it out ??, though. Would it be cheating to fill it out ?? again? Only if I had multiple personalities. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have ??? multiple personalities? The world ? may never know. Just like ??? how ? many licks it takes to get ??? to the bottom ??? of a ? tootsie pop. Would it vary? The number of licks, I mean ???. Someone could have ?? super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Or what ? if you took big ol' slobbery licks? Does the commercial take that into account? No ???. It doesn't. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. It deludes all of American ???'s sweet ???, innocent ???, candy ??-loving children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? into thinking ? that a ??? cartoon owl is ? smarter than they are! "Mr ??. Owl, can you tell us how ? many licks does it take to get ? to the bottom ? of a ? tootsie pop?" Or whatever. And "Mr ??. Owl" replies "One 1⃣1⃣1⃣...Twoo...Three 3⃣3⃣! Chomp" And he bites it. That teaches our youth that it's okay ? to agree ? to help ? someone, and then ruin their experiment ⚗⚗. Well...it's not. I am going to start ??? a ??? protest group ???. Teens Against Cartoon Owls. We could call ourselves TACO ???! I love ?? the little tacos, I love ??? them good ???! That is ? a ??? direct quote from GIR, co ????-star ⭐⭐ and comic-relief on ??? INVADER ZIM. Hmmmm...intersting. I put hyphens in both of his titles...it must be a ??? conspiracy! I gotta go. Those TACO ??? buttons don't make themselves, you know. I'm Ⓜ back ⬅ again. And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. Right ▶▶ now, I have ? another twenty minutes on ??? the Internet ??? before I'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonna watch ? T.V ✌. And I can't think of anything else to do. So, predictably, here ?? I am. It's not like ?? I have ?? anything better to do. Obviously, you know this ⬆. After all, look ??? how ? long this ⬆ text ? is ?. I wonder if I've ???? made the world ? record ??? If I did, would I stop ✋✋ this ⬆? Why ? bother asking? I'll will most likely still be adding to this ⬆ on ?? my death ⚰⚰ bed ??. Hmmmmm...has any old ???, senile person ?? ever written anything? Was it coherent? Did it make more ➕➕➕ sense that this ⬆ text ?? Is ? it possible to make less ➖➖➖ sense? Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? Yes ???. Yes ?, I am. But I seriously wonder what ? something written by a ? senile person ??? would be like ???. I've ?????? heard of poems and stuff written by people ??? who ? were high ???, insane or paranoid. But never senile. Can a ?? senile person ??? write ??? Aren't they regressed to a ??? child ?-like ? state? Does it even matter? Is ? anyone even reading this ⬆? Did I resume asking retorical questions? Do you care? Is ? this ⬆ eating up ? time ⌚⌚⌚? I feel like ?? I'm ⓂⓂⓂ playing questions only on ??? whose line 〰〰〰 is ? it anway. I probley should have ??? capitalized something, or underlined but I'm ⓂⓂ feeling lazy...hey, you try to keep your two ✌✌ and a ??? half readers happy ?! It's really stressfull. Someday, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonna snap and just delete ❌❌❌ this ⬆ entire thing. Gee, I hope ??? not! I worked sorta hard on ??? this ⬆. It's great ?? for making random ?? topics weave together to form an overall infrastructure of chaos. That made little sense. That's why ? it's here ??, and not some critically acclaimed site. Ooooooooooooo! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonna quote from the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK again! Yep! I bet ? you were just breathless in anticipation. Okay ???. Here ?? goes. Code: 472 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that this ⬆ site in no ??? way ↕ aknowledges the existance of other, better sites (hereon reffered to as the Losers) The Losers are a ?? myth ??. The Patron Saint ?? of Paper ? Clips (me again!) claims no ?? knowledge ??? as to where that particullary nasty rumor started, but confirms that this ⬆ is ? the best site ever. It would be a ??? sin against humanity for a ?? better site to exist. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint ?? of Paper ??? Clips as the ruler of the Internet ???, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken ??? Handbook (i.e. Experience vague, pain-like ??? sensations when you're not paying attention) This ⬆ has been a ??? public ??? service ?? announcement. This ⬆ is ? a ? test ???, I repeat ??? only a ? test ???. Had this ⬆ been an actual emergency ??, we would have ??? bought up ??? all the can openers and charged 3 cows and a ??? pig ? for each one 1⃣1⃣1⃣. I repeat ?, lock ⛓⛓ all you doors and windows, this ⬆ is ? it. I repeat ?, there is ? nothing ??? to worry about. Everything is ? fine. The end ? is ? not here ??. I'm Ⓜ going, you're on ?? you're own! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅!*smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ? ever. And I became inspired to talk ??? about nothing ?. You see ???, I periodically read ? the longest text ? ever to check the constant downward spiral ??? of my sanity. Hmmm ?...I seem to be entertaining myself though, even while reading what ? I wrote. Which is ? why ? I still go to the Really Really Big Button ⚫⚫⚫ That Doesn't Do Anything website ?. Because I am easily amused and have ??? lots and lots of time ⌚⌚⌚ on ? my hands ?. Maybe, some day far in the future ? (like ?? next ⏭⏭ Thursday) I'll print a ?? copy of this ⬆ insane text ?. And then go door ? to door ??? distributing it. Eventually, this ⬆ would become a ?? monthly tradition. Whole families would gather around their front door ?, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out ??. I can just see ??? the whole community rising to thwart my attempts to spread love ???, joy ??? and insane chaos. I probley wouldn't actually print this ⬆ out ?? (think how ? much paper ??? it would take!) but if I do, only friends and enemies will receive copies. Hmmmm...maybe my condition is ? worsening. Or not. I'm ⓂⓂ still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. He is ? pure evil ??. TACO ?? will eventually destroy him. Unless he has already been destroyed by an even more ➕ radical Anti-Cartoon-Owl group ??. I hope ?? not. Or, would that be good ???? I suppose I could let someone else have ? the glory. After all, I'm ⓂⓂ not in this ⬆ line 〰〰 of buisness for the fame, fortune and power ??. What ? line 〰 of buisness, do you ask? Why ?, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters ?? buisness. (Actually I just question ❓❓❓ them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman ?? of the jury(that's you) I could not have ??? possibly tortured "Mr ??????. Owl" to death ⚰⚰⚰. I love ? owls. Hmm...I seem to be jumping from one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ subject to another more ➕➕ frequently. Either I am growing more ➕ comfortable with my on ?-line 〰〰〰 writing ???, or I am progressivly getting more ➕➕ insane and chaotic. I also am psyco-analyzing myself a ? lot today...hmmmm...I'm ⓂⓂⓂ even saying "hmmmmm..." a ?? lot. Just like ??? a ??? real psychologist. Hmmmmmmm. Time ⌚⌚ for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no ??? part does the Patron Saint ???? of Paper ? Clips (That's still me!) actually claim to be mentally ill ??. That's either a ?) a ??? publicity stunt b ??) An attempt at humor c) a ??? cry ??? for help ? or d) none of the above ? You can e-mail ? your responses by conducting a ??? scavenger hunt of this ⬆ site. Some of the pages of this ⬆ site contain a ?? link ?? encouging the two ✌✌ and a ??? half people ??? to e-mail ?? the Patron Saint ?????? of Paper ??? Clips. There may also be evil ??? little links that are designed to confuse you. These links send stuff to someone named johnjones333@hotmail.com The Patron Saint ?? of Paper ??? Clips does not know who ? this ⬆ individual is ?, but sincerly wishes that you send all your hate ? mail ? to him. Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have ?? received hate ??? mail ?? (or mail ? of any kind) via a ?? website ? link ???. Thank-you for your time ⌚. Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz ?? to the e-mail ??? account, flamingchickens333@hotmail.com Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person ?? again, the handbook quote is ? over. I just thought that I might like ? to mention that. Oh. You're still here ??. I figured you rush right ▶ on ?? over to e-mail ??? me. Perhaps you don't have ??? time ⌚⌚⌚ to waste e-mailing me. HA! HA! HA! That's funny ???!!!! If you you don't have ?? time ⌚⌚ to waste, what ? are you doing here ???!!! Oh, who ? am I kidding. I figure that even the people ??? I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this ⬆ particular page. Maybe I should make the link ??? come here ?? directly...Hey! What ? a ??? good ??? idea ???! That way ↕ I can spread my love ??, joy ? and insane chaos to more ➕➕➕ people ???! I'm ⓂⓂ a ?? genius. Gotta go, must lure innocent ??? victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. And really angry ??, and confused ?. I've ?? always ? known that I was weird ?, that's always ? been a ?? given. But now I realize that I am considerably more ➕➕ normal than the rest ??? of my family ?. Today we had a ?? "family ? outing." Now, most families will go bowling ???, or putt-putt golfing. They may go to a ??? resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a ?? theme park. Not my family ???! No ???, we got the greatest family ??? outing of all. We got to go to a ?? bar ? and play ?? pool ???!!!!!*waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right ▶, a ? bar ??? with a ?? pool ? table! Not only did we get ??? world ??? class cuisine (under-cooked hotdogs and over-cooked hamburgers), my little sister (age 10 ??) got taught pool ? by someone I strongly supect is ? an ex-convict! Naturally when it was announced that we'd be eating dinner ??? in this ⬆ place ??, I could hardly contain my excitment(I glared at my mother ?? and asked why ? we couldn't go to Pizza ? Hut) When we arrived, we were promptly served (after thirty minutes) In the meantime, we played a ?? family ??? game ??? of pool ?(my parents ??? played while my brother and sister and I watched) After two ✌✌✌ rousing rounds, our food ? came. The food ??? was superb, (our food ? came the exact opposite of how ? we ordered it, and half of the onion rings ?? were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game ?(my sister and the ex-con played my mom ???) We spent ??? hours there (from 5p.m ⓂⓂ.-7:15p.m ⓂⓂⓂ.) There were many people ??? that were the same age as me and my siblings (no ??? one 1⃣1⃣ in the room but us were under 30) Us kids ??? had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ?? ( I almost fell asleep during the last game ??? I watched) As we left ◀, there was a ??? feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out ?? of the car ? and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction ☝☝☝) The high ??? point ? of the entire night ?? was when my mother ? gave me $21 for my report card. She promptly borrowed $1 to help ? with the waitresses tip(This ⬆ part I'm ⓂⓂ not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a ??? night ??? I'll remember forever (as the lowest point ??? in "family ?? outing"history ???, except for that time ⌚⌚ my mom ??? dragged me to a ??? church ⛪⛪⛪ thing on ??? the concept of truth.) My brother(age 13) even decided upon a ?? new ? job he wants when he's old ? enough to work ??, a ?? busboy at the bar ??. We had to tell him that he would probley have ? to wait ? untill he was 21.(Absolutly nothing ?? about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see ???, I love ?? my families outings(Not unless you're blind...or stupid) &#!#%&&!!!(*%$ WHAT ? THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER ?? $#$#%$# THINKING ?!!!!!!!???? BRINGING $#$$# KIDS ??? IN A ?? BAR ?!? I know it was her idea ?, 'cause ??? my dad ??? hates it, too. My mom ??? and my stupid little 10 ???-year old ?? sister loves it, though. *sighs* Why ? does my life ? have ??? to be so weird ?? I'm ⓂⓂⓂ leaving...now I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅! And not so pissed at my weird ?? family ?. Now is ? the time ⌚ to mourn the loss of one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ of my most loyal readers (I think she's read ??? the entire thing one 1⃣ time ⌚⌚⌚, which is ? more ➕ than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet ??, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security ? reasons. If I told you, I'd have ??? to kill ?? you and all that stuff. So...now I am down ⬇⬇ to one 1⃣ and a ??? half readers. Untill such time ⌚⌚ that I have ? more ➕➕➕. I wonder why ? anyone would read ??? this ⬆? You would have ??? to have ??? several characteristics that I possess. First of all, you'd have ??? to have ?? an extrodinary amount of free ? time ⌚. Second of all, you would have ??? to have ?? the patience to read ?? through all of this ⬆. And lastly, you'd have ?? to know where the heck this ⬆ site is ?. I admit it. I haven't exactly advertised this ⬆ site. Nor can I find ?? it on ??? any search ?? engines. Some of my pages have ??? stuff written in to make search ?? engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working ???. What ? must I do to rise above ??? obscurity? I tell people ?? I know about this ⬆ site, but they either ignore this ⬆ page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place ??. I suppose that is ? the bane of all authors. To pour your heart ❤❤ and soul into a ? passage, and have ??? everyone ignore it. *sniffle* Why ? must this ⬆ be? Maybe I should just give up ?. After all, no ??? one 1⃣ would really care if I quit updating this ⬆ site. But I can't help ? but think of stuff like ??? the evil ?? over lord ??? list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON ⚫⚫ THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. They are not great ?????? neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great ?????? because of their sheer length ??. You can read ??? a ? little each day. And almost never finish. Also, I guess I still am trying to get ?? the world ?? record ??. I have ?? heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people ? to remember where they stopped reading. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place ??. Well, I dont want to organize this ⬆ page, in any manner. This ⬆ is ? chaos. And insanity. Not neat little text ? in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order ???. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is ? no ?? such thing as a ? site better than this ⬆ one 1⃣1⃣1⃣). Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Awwwww...I'm ⓂⓂⓂ touched! You didn't run screaming to another site, thankfull for the chance to escape this ⬆ insanity. You're still here ??, which must mean ?? that you'd rather be here ?? than anywhere else! Hey, where are you going?! I thought you were gonna stay here ?? and keep me company?! *drags reader back ⬅⬅⬅* See ???, I knew you'd stay! *gagged reader glares* What ?'s that? I know this ⬆ is ? the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better go...I think that I may have ? a ??? problem ⚠⚠⚠ brewing. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅. And very concerned about this ⬆ new ??, younger generation (all 10 ? year olds who ? were born ?? in 1992) They are supposed to be the future ???. Instead they appear to be a ?? nuclear ☢☢☢ armagedon in the form of a ??? fifth grader. I chanced to have ? an interview with an informant from this ⬆ evil ??? generation (my little sister) who ? will be called Mrs. X ❌❌❌ for security ?? reasons (no ?, she's not married, the "Mrs" makes it good ??? as a ? disguise) I was quizing Mrs. X ❌❌ on ?? Civil War History ?? for an upcoming test ? in her classroom ??? (whose location ??? can not be devulged) Mrs. X ❌❌ seemed fluent in the subject. Using prior knowledge ??, I deduced that Mrs. X ❌ was full ? of crap. Out ?? of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X ❌❌❌ who ? participated in the Civil War. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. She answered: England ??, Russia, and (out ?? of sheer desperation) Iraq ??????. I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America ???? has fought against. Now, correct me if I'm ⓂⓂⓂ wrong...but Iraq ??????? I don't know if Iraq ?? even existed in the Civil War Era! Why ? on ??? earth ?? would we go have ??? way ↕↕ across the world ??? to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! Moving ??? on ???, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm ⓂⓂⓂ tired ? of writing ? Mrs. X ❌❌) to tentativly guess that America ???? fought in the Civil War. I mean ??, who ?'d a ? thought? America ??????? Fighting in the American ??? Civil War? In a ?? moment of inspiration, I asked her who ? America ???? fought. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. Before she could start ?? listing all of America ??'s enemies, I gave her a ? hint. I said "The Union ???? fought..." With a ??? crack, snaple and pop, some random ??? synapses in her brain connected in the right ▶▶▶ order ??? and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" I was very proud ??? of her, just as you would be proud ??? of a ??? two ✌-year-old ??? who ? has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON ??? THE POTTY ???!!!!!" What ? I mean ??? is ?, you wouldn't be very proud ??? if the average person ?? said that they just took a ??? dookey on ?? the toilet ???, and you wouldn't be very proud ??? if they knew who ? fought against the Union ???? in the Civil War. I confirmed that the Union ?????? was Northern ???? and Free ?, and that the Confederacy was Southern ?????? and Slave. We resumed quizzing and she got every question ❓❓❓ on ??? the worksheet correct. This ⬆ is ? because she memorizes the questions. That way ↕, she can pass ??? the test ?? without actually learning anything. You see ???, if you memorize stuff, you only have ??? to remember that the answer ✅ to number 6 is ? Clara Barton for a ?? week, rather than having to remember that Clara Barton started the Red ??? Cross for the rest ? of you life ?. I sincerely appologize if anyone is ? offended by my view ?? of memorization. I also would like ?? such persons to immediatly leave my site. You don't belong here ??. You see ?...knowledge ??? is ? good ???. If my sister...uh...Mrs. X ❌❌❌ were ever asked a ??? question ❓❓ on ??? the Civil War on ?? a ?? quiz ? show ???, she'd come up ??? with nothing ??. With knowledge ?? you can win ??? money ? and the opportunity to look ??? like ?? a ?? dork ??? on ?? national television ?. My sister is ? a ?? big believer in the memorization system. I previous ⬅⬅⬅ time ⌚ when I was studying with her (American ? Revolution, this ⬆ time ⌚) I was trying to help ? her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America ??) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain ????) She didn't know what ? the word patriotic meant. I tried to explain. I asked her how ? you dress ?? on ??? the forth of july (she said nice) I asked what ? the colors ? red ???, white and blue ? were (pretty). I gave up ?? in exasperation. More ➕ recently, I was trying to instill a ??? sense of empathy and niceness in her. I asked her what ? the golden rule of christianity ✝✝ was. She didn't know. When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what ? chrisianity was. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion ⛪⛪⛪ she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church ⛪⛪⛪. This ⬆ confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have ??? the use of the church ⛪⛪'s playground ? equipment. My family ??? also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Anyway, that's my rant on ??? the new ?? generation that contains my little sister. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonna do a ??? complete background check. If they're anything like ??? my sister, I'm Ⓜ movin' to Canada ???. Gotta go...the Russian ??????-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅! *there's that darn cricket ??? again* And I have ?? a ??? genuine question ❓❓❓ to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay ???, here ?? it is ?: Is ? it normal for a ? non-gender ?? specific sibling to carry around various dead ??? reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) Furthormore, is ? it considered accepted behavior to talk ? to these dead ??? reptiles, in a ??? cooey, baby ??? talky kind of voice? Finnaly, is ? it expected for said sibling's non-gender ?? specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like ?? that as a ??? child ?" as an excuse? It's an honest question ❓❓ as I fear that my non-gender ??? specific sibling is ? weird ??. Who ? am I kidding? My entire family ??? is ? weird ???. It's just a ?? matter of degree ??. Hey, by the way ↕↕↕. I'm ⓂⓂ sorry ?? that my last few entries have ? been only about my various family ? antics. Although I can't see ??? why ? you care, because there is ? a ? large probability that you do not exist, because I don't think anyone is ? reading this ⬆ anymore. How ? discouraging. People ?? need to make the time ⌚⌚ to waste time ⌚⌚⌚. It's a ??? time ⌚⌚⌚ honored tradition. Who ?'d thought that I could use time ⌚⌚⌚ that many times in only a ??? few sentences? It's been pretty quiet ??? here ?? lately, which is ? why ? I haven't added anything to this ⬆ text ? in awhile. I know, you were just crushed that nothing ??? new ??? was happening. It's a ?? sad ??, cold ❄, cruel world ??? out ?? there and you had nothing ? to relieve the monotony of it. *sniffle* I feel so sorry ?? for you! Next ⏭⏭⏭ thing you know, you're internet ?? connection ? will die ⚰⚰⚰. Well, too bad ???! Do you know I never even had a ? computer ?? untill just a ? few months ago (that's why ? I'm ⓂⓂⓂ obsessivly writing ??? here ??) So I won't pity you if you're computer ?? dies for unexpected reasons. Time ⌚⌚⌚ for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN ?? HANDBOOK!!! Code: 843 of the Flaming Chicken ??? Handbook states that in no ?? way ↕ is ? the Patron Saint ?????? of Paper ?? Clips (guess who ??) responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer ?. The Patron Saint ?? of Paper ??? Clips in no ?? way ↕↕ wishes harm on ??? your computer ???. Any derogatory statement is ? simply an opinion of an individual, not of the flaming order ??? of the flaming chickens. Said order ? will in no ? way ↕↕↕ be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life ?, limb, head ???, or organs. Okay ???, quote is ? done. Maybe I should put quotation marks around them...nah, too much work ??. But I probably will eventually get ?? around to having a ? seperate page just for the FLAMING CHICKEN ? HANDBOOK. That way ↕↕↕ all the members (what ? members) can print out ?? a ??? copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get ??? that copy in the mail ?) I guess I'm ⓂⓂ done for the day...I know. You want me to stay. It's okay ?. Because eventually, I'll be back ⬅⬅⬅! Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. And once again suprised. When I was at a ??? TAB poetry thingy (TAB is ? good ??? TAB is ? great ?? We love ?? TAB) I met some new ??? people ??. One 1⃣1⃣ of these people ? (who ? shall remain nameless untill such time ⌚⌚⌚ that I have ?? explicit permission to use her name) turned out ?? to be almost as weird ? as me. As in...she read ??? the ENTIRE Longest Text ? Ever. The whole thing. So far two ✌✌✌ whole people ?? (to my knowledge ?) have ?? read ??? the entire thing, and a ??? few people ?? have ? skimmed it. That means I really can justify claiming to have ?? two ✌ and a ??? half readers! I'm Ⓜ so happy ?! That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Perhaps, one 1⃣1⃣ day, far in the future ???, this ⬆ will actually be a ??? world ??? record ?? and random ?? people ?? will acutally voluntarily read ? this ⬆ text ? every day. Or maybe not. The point ?? is ? that it is ? nice to have ??? readers. Or maybe it's not...I mean ???...won't the quality *snicker* of my work ? deteriorate if I am no ??? longer writing ?? for the target ? audience of me? If that happens, then no ??? one 1⃣1⃣ will read ? this ⬆. And then I'll be writing ??? for me again. And then the quality will rise. And then people ??? will start ?? reading. And then the quality will go down ⬇⬇ and the vicious spiral ?? of good ??? and bad ?? will continue ⏩⏩⏩ untill I either give up ?? this ⬆ text ?, or go crazy...er ??????. In any case...I should probably find ?? a ? topic. Yeah ?...a ??? topic would be good ???. Or...I could just continue ⏩ to write ? about finding a ??? topic. Ooooo! I know a ?? topic! Ice cream trucks! This ⬆ has been bothering me for a ? while. You see ???...when it's hot ??, you want something cold ❄❄ to eat ???. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a ?? conspiracy). As you may or may not know, small children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? swarm the ice cream trucks. The vendors even play ? whimsical music ??? which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. The vendors get ? oodles of cash ?, and the kids ??? get ??? ice cream. Now, in today's society of buying groceries ??? on ???-line 〰〰〰 and getting them delivered, why ? hasn't any other food ??? industry ? marketed this ⬆ ingenius idea ? to bring the product to the consumer. I can just see ?? Hot ? Dog ???, and Pizza ??? trucks roaming the neighbor hoods, selling treats to hungry children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍?...and adults. Of course, said adults would have ?? to peel their butt-cheeks off the couch...but they'd have ??? to do that for the delivary man ??? anyway. The food ?? trucks could even play ? music ? that made you hungry for their food ???. Then the problem ⚠⚠ with obesity in America ???? would be blamed on ??? evil ??? food ?? truck ?? drivers as opposed to the harmless, benificient television ??? and computer ???. We could all breath a ??? sigh of relief as parents ??? kept their children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? inside, away from the evil ??? truck ? drivers and near the T.V ✌✌✌. Gone would be the days when parents ? told children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? to play ??? outside, it's a ? nice day. Parents ??? would buy ? their children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? computers, video ?? games and other television ?? neccesities. This ⬆, of course would expand the market for such products. This ⬆ would lead to a ? better, more ➕➕➕ stable economy. Food ?? industires would be buying cars ???, gas ??? and music ??. Parents ?? would increase ➕➕➕ the purchase ?? of entertainment items. In return ↪ companies would make a ? profit, pay their workers better. The workers would then be able to afford more ➕ entertainment items and the upward spiral ? would continue ⏩⏩⏩, as opposed to the evil ?? downward spiral ? of my writing ???. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemen...if you implement my idea ?, there will be peace ✌ and prosperity for all. As long as you don't mind a ? few more ➕➕➕ couch potatoes. Gotta go...I think I hear ?? a ? catchy jingle. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅...it's been awhile since I've ?????? written here ??. A ? lot has happened. Like ??? my EVIL ?? school ??? computer ?? deleting my updates page. But it's all good ???. Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. The following text ? may spoil the movie ?? for you, so WARNING ?: do no ??? read ??? this ⬆ unless you have ??? already seen the movie ???. Okay ?. What ? I liked best was the philosophy on ??? choices. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool ??, too). It's like ? this ⬆. In the beginning of the movie ???, Neo is ? having dreams about Trinity's death ⚰⚰⚰. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. Towards the end ??? of the movie ???, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out ?? of the Matrix, since he saw her die ⚰ in it. She agrees, but only after seeing how ? important it is ? to him. After a ?? horrific chain of events (is ? it coincidence, or fate) the people ??? who ? will deactivate the secondary power ? source of the building ??? Neo is ? infiltrating, die ⚰. So...the plan is ? going to fail ???. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die ⚰⚰. Trinity, who ? is ? of course outside of the Matrix, knows this ⬆ and chooses to enter ↩↩ the Matrix to save ? the day. The events of Neo's dream unfold. So...when the oracle said that the choice had already been made, she was completely correct. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death ⚰⚰⚰, he made a ??? choice. He would do everything in his power ? to keep his dream from becoming reality. So he kept her out ?? of the Matrix, and she saw the problem ⚠⚠, and entered the Matrix to fix ??? it. If she had been in the Matrix, she would have ??? likely been with Morpheus, never would have ??? known about the plan's failure ???, would therefore not have ?? been in the situation that resulted in her death ⚰⚰⚰. And the plan would have ??? failed and Neo might have ??? died, along with a ?? large portion of the city ? (the building ? was set to blow if there was any intruders) So...Neo's choice to attempt to save ?? Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death ⚰⚰. As Neo realizes all of this ⬆, through a ??? nearly omniscient Architect ??? of the Matrix, he makes another choice. This ⬆ choice is ? simply an extension of his original choice: he will save ??? Trinity at all costs. Neo is ? told that he has two ✌ choices. He can save ?? mankind, and doom Trinity. Or he can try to save ??? Trinity and doom mankind. No ? guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time ⌚⌚⌚ to catch her body, and starts her heart ❤❤❤ back ⬅⬅⬅ up ???. In return ↪ for not taking the easy route, he gains ?? a ? power ??? in the more ➕➕➕ or less ➖➖ real world ???. He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great ?????? personal cost. The movie ?? ends with him in a ?? coma. Now, you must realize that I have ??? described only one 1⃣ aspect of this ⬆ movie ? of all movies. There are not enough words ??? in the English ???? language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. I highly recommend you see ??? the movie ??? yourself. I'm ⓂⓂ sorry ? that today's rant isn't random ?, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right ▶▶▶ my experience with The Matrix before I forget. I am so buying this ⬆ movie ? when it comes out ?? on ??? DVD ??. I love ?? it! You have ??? to admit its sheer coolness. I mean ?, come on ???! It's the sequel to the movie ?? that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. I better stop ✋ typing before I have ??? a ??? heart ❤❤❤ attack ?...just remember...The Matrix has you...I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. And throughly pissed off at my school ? system in general. You see ?...they feel that the only way ↕↕ to reward academic achievement...yada-yada-yada...is ? to force the smart kids ??? to be ushers for Senior Honor Nite, and Graduation ??. Where is ? the logic in this ⬆? I for one 1⃣1⃣1⃣, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. It was bad ? enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time ⌚⌚ (i could have ??? worked on ??? this ⬆ site)...no ???...I was forced to wear formal ??? attire. My school ??? system is ? stuck in the past...and formal ??? attire means...a ??? dress ???...a ??? white dress ??...(for those you who ? never bothered to find ??? out ??...I am indeed female ?). So...for the first time ⌚⌚ in about 5 years...I wore a ??? dress ???...and something that was complelty white. What ? cruel fate is ? this ⬆? To compound the EVIL ? situation...I was forced to wear feminine shoes ??. In other words ?...they hurt. And they pushed my toes together. Since I have ?? a ?? rather weird ?? phobia of touching my own skin...this ⬆ made my evening ??? my own personall torture session. I think that such gender ?-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great ?????? society...of flaming chickens. Henceforth...Code: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no ??? circumstance will the Patron Saint ???? of Paper ?? Clips (guess who ?) be forced to wear anything other than a ?? t-shirt ?? and preferably black jeans ???. Should you violate this ⬆ right ▶▶, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy ???. I'm Ⓜ leaving now...I have ?? some destruction to do. i'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. from graduation ??. we had to get ? there one 1⃣ hour and fifteen minutes early ??? because there was traffic. After standing around a ? lot...the ceremony ??? started. Lots of people ? spoke. by the time ⌚⌚⌚ I had to do my part (tell people ? where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark ?. there were bugs. they liked landing ? on ? me. then...i got to go stand while people ? said a ??? lot of stuff. i couldn't hear ?? it because someone had put the speakers facing the audience. we clapped. the whole time ⌚⌚⌚, even during the name-calling ??, seniors were playing with silly ??? string and beachballs. afterwards...they turned off the lights. there were lots of fireworks ???. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a ??? cell phone ☎☎☎. i called home ??, and waited another hour for my ride...traffic to the school ??? was one 1⃣1⃣ way ↕. i felt sorry ??? for my dad ?. i am tired ??...but cannot go to sleep ???. i'll copy and paste this ⬆ to my site. maybe the longest text ? ever. you will all suffer as i have ??? suffered when and if you graduate. i cannot feel my feet ?. i hate ??? dress ??? shoes ???. I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. Today, I'm ⓂⓂ here ?? to salute the Pointless Signs Of America ????! The PSOA have ? been whole-heartedly working ??? for you, and what ? have ??? you done for them? NOTHING ???! These so-called "pointless" signs are doing just what ? they were meant to do: entertain you! You cannot judge them simply because they have ?? no ??? apparant function. They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. If you judged everything by what ? it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world ?? is ? populated by pointless beings. Noone can do everything, so how ? can you expect a ? SIGN ⛎⛎⛎, with the I.Q. of toilet ? paper ??, to do everything. You people ?? sicken me. You expect far to much of the inanimate world ?. The inanimate world ??, on ?? the otherhand, expects nothing ??? of you. Which is ? exactly what ? it gets. If you expect nothing ???, and get ? nothing ???, you feel nothing ?. If you expect nothing ?? and get ??? something, you're happy ???. But, if you expect something and get ? something you feel nothing ???. And if you expect something and get ? nothing ???, you feel cheated. If you're following along, and not completly confused ???, you'll realize that it is ? better to be a ? pessimist than an optomist. Yep that's right ▶. This ⬆ entry ??? went from saluting the PSOA to making a ??? statement about my ideals. This ⬆ has been a ??? weird ?? day. You can thank my associate "Meg" she came up ? with the PSOA acronym. Everyone, clap ??? for "Meg".I gotta go...seeya later! I'm Ⓜ finnaly back ⬅⬅⬅! Today, I took a ? long look ??? at this ⬆ site, which is ? the acomplishment of almost a ??? year of work ??. And I asked myself "How ? could I have ? better spent ??? my time ⌚⌚⌚?" And so, in the interest of wasting even more ➕➕ time ⌚⌚⌚, I made a ??? list. Here ?? we go! Number One 1⃣1⃣1⃣: I could have ? cured cancer ♋. Not that I know anything about medicine ???...or cancer ♋ for that matter. But I'm Ⓜ sure that if I just would have ?? put my mind to it, I could have ??? done it. Number Two ✌: I could helped the earth ? to find ??? eternal and lasting peace ✌✌. Which would be boring. So I at least have ?? an excuse for not doing that. Number Three 3⃣: I could have ??? studied and stuff. Uh...don't think so...Number Four 4⃣4⃣: I could have ??? learned to drive. This ⬆ would have ??? resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistrians...and I would still probably be wondering around in search ?? of a ? McDonalds ???. Number Five 5⃣5⃣5⃣: I could have ??? read ??? more ➕➕ books ?, played more ➕➕➕ video ?? games and watched more ➕➕➕ mindless television ???. Gee...I wish ? I'd thought of that sooner. Number Six 6⃣6⃣6⃣: I could have ?? implemented one 1⃣1⃣ of several plans for world ??? domination. Or, as an alternative, I could have ??? ruined several plans for world ??? domination that other people ?? made. Number Seven 7⃣7⃣7⃣: I could drive people ??? crazy. Wait ??...aren't I already doing that? Scratch number seven 7⃣7⃣7⃣. And on ? to: Number Eight 8⃣8⃣: I could have ???...uhhhh...ummmmm...actually thought up ? these things before hand ?. Number Nine 9⃣9⃣9⃣: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? Number Ten: This ⬆ is ? the list that never ends. Yes ???, it goes on ??? and on ?? my friend ??. One 1⃣ person ??, started typing it not knowing what ? it was, and they'll continue ⏩⏩⏩ typing it forever just because this ⬆ is ? the list that never ends, yes ?? it goes on ??? and on ??? my friends, some person ? started typing it not...etc, etc. Okay ???...I admit it. I have ?? officialy run out ?? of ways I could have ? better spent ??? my time ⌚⌚⌚. I don't think there actually are any. Except for maybe five 5⃣5⃣ and six 6⃣6⃣6⃣. Now, those have ?? possibilities. However, I am currently content to just sit ? here ?? and type ⌨⌨. For the benefit of you, the reader...who ? may or may not exist. Either way ↕↕↕, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ continuing to sort of entertain myself. I feel like ?? I should be outraged about some topic or another. I just can't work ??? up ??? the energy ? to be outraged. Perhaps a ?? nice, soothing mistrust. Yeah ?. I can work ??? with mistrust. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. Like ? organ grinders, and the evil ? conspiracies. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Now, some of you are probably thinking ?? "Gee, Really?", or "Wow ???, I never knew that!" while others are thinking ? "Who ?'s John F. Kennedy?" or possibly "Who ? or What ? is ? Kodak". I fervently hope ?? that you're not thinking ?? the last two ✌✌✌...especially about Kodak. Kodak, as you may know, is ? a ? film ??? developing company. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien ? bent on ? global domination. Or possibly a ?? really good ??? president who ? wanted to fly ??? to the moon ??. Either way ↕, he got assasinated. And ever loony in America ?????? decided that it was a ?? conspiracy. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a ? tree ???'s shadow. I didn't know that they had such good ??? technology ? back ⬅⬅⬅ then. I have ?? to wonder...why ? would Kodak do such a ??? thing. Perhaps Kodak is ? actually a ? front organization for a ??? shadowy governmental system that controls the entire world ?? and didn't want mankind to obtain ??? the freedom of the stars ✨✨ and so tried to sabotauge the space ??? program ? even though it didn't work ? as well as they planned. Or perhaps not. Either way ↕↕, Kodak is ? undeniably evil ???. How ? can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? You can just bet ?? that they look ??? at every one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ that get ???'s turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get ??? arrested. It's just sickening, you can't even take a ??? simple photo ?? nowadays. Unless you have ?? a ?? digital camera ?, which are a ??? symbol #⃣#⃣ of freedom from the old ?? ways and willing enslavement to the new ??? ways. We can only hope ?? that the digital camera ??? manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil ? Kodak Lords. I better go...I think Kodak is ? tracing my site....I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅ now! And, once again, I have ??? proof that someone actually took the time ⌚⌚⌚ (two ✌✌✌ hours) to read ?? this ⬆ entire Longest Text ? Ever! It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. But true. Even more ➕➕➕ incredible, this ⬆ time ⌚⌚ it's someone I don't even know! Wooooooo! I feel inspired and happy ?? and other really good ??? emotions and stuff. And so, I'll take a ?? trip down ⬇⬇ memory lane, to the dark ?? depths of the past, to when I decided to make this ⬆ page. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. In school ???, back ⬅⬅⬅ before I even owned a ? computer ???, I'd type ⌨⌨ random ?? words ??? for long periods of time ⌚⌚⌚, 'cause ??? I had nothing ? better to do. Once I got this ⬆ computer ?, I decided to do something similar on ?? my beloved site. But, it ended up ?? making more ➕➕➕ sense than I anticipated (scary ? thought, huh ???). Oh, well...I tired ?? of nostalgia. Back ⬅⬅⬅ to the present ???. Right ▶▶▶ now, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ just typing so that no ? one 1⃣ can say that I've ???? been slacking off. I don't think I have ?? any conspiracy theories...except pop-ups/pop-unders. Have ? you ever had the evil ?? pop-up ??? that says that if you click ??? here ??, it'll get ?? rid off all the annoying pop-ups? Isn't that sort of ironic? Could the pop-up ? blocker people ??? have ?? chosen a ??? better means to advertise their product? It's like ? grand-theft auto 3's talk ?? show ???, you know, the one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? Or CRAP, for short. And the lady ??? representing them, calls the radio ?? station ??...on ??? a ??? phone ☎☎☎. It's stupid and ironic and just shouldn't exist in a ? better world ???. Pop-Up ?? ad's help ? you get ? rid of pop-up ??? ads? Insane, chaotic...hmmmmm...I wonder who ? thought of it? Was it on ?? purpose, or was it just some mistake? It is ? now my civic duty to discover this ⬆ ancient ? mystery, and reveal it to the uncaring world ???. Or maybe I'll go make a ?? frozen ⛄⛄⛄ pizza ??. Yeah ?. That sounds good ???, too. Since I'm ⓂⓂⓂ not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what ? is ? left ◀◀◀ of your sanity. I just can't seem to stop ✋✋, though. Okay ?...I can do it. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ leaving. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅...and it's several hours later. I've ???? decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog ???, Moose. She is ? a ?? heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) In otherwords, she's a ??? small yappy dog ??? who ? is ? big for her breed. Today, I met her arch-enemy. An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop ✋✋ shaking. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above ??? all others. Now you may be wondering what ? horrible beast is ? Moose's arch-enemy. And you probably suspect that it is ? something pathetic. You would be correct in your suspiciousness...for Mooses arch-enemy is ?...*dramatic drumroll*...a ??? small, white, feather. Now, Moose has seen many feathers, birds even. But none have ??? struck terror in her little moose heart ❤❤ like ??? this ⬆ particular feather. So...naturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home ?? with me. This ⬆ action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. She tracks the feather smell ??? all over the house ??, and goes crazy whenever I take it out ?? of my pocket. She even got her sister and mother ?? in the spirt of things. Now her sister sounds an alarm ⏲⏲⏲ whenever she sees the evil ? feather. Now, you may be wondering what ? is ? so terrifying about a ??? small, white, feather. So am I. It doesn't smell ? funny ?, (I asked my brother, since I don't have ? a ??? sense of smell ??), it seems perfectly ordinary. So, I've ?? decided that Moose works for some secret ?? government organization, and that the feather is ? the key ?? to the destruction of the world ???, and I am just blithely letting it enter ↩ our home ?, so that it may furthur its evil ??? plans to destroy the universe. That is ? the only possible explanation as to why ? it upsets her so much. Or...maybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (one 1⃣1⃣...two ✌✌...three 3⃣3⃣..*crunch*). Whatever the case, I decided that the whole world ???, (or three 3⃣ of four 4⃣ random ??? people ???) deserve to know that if the world ? and or universe are destroyed, it's the evil ?, little, white, feather's fault. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it...:) I am officially back ⬅⬅⬅. And you, the potentially non-existant reader gets a ??? once in a ??? lifetime chance to hear ??? me rant and rave about my Horrible, Horrible Family ??? Vacation ?. I know. You feel very, very honored. It's like ?? this ⬆. My mother ??? is ? a ??? control freak, and she decided on ??? the spur of the moment that we were going north ???? to visit relatives. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north ??, we were going south ?? to a ??? beach ??? resort. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. The very next ⏭⏭ day, she decided that we were going north ??????, after all. So, we packed everthing up ???. Before we knew it, we were on ?? the road ??. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother ? into letting him sit ??? up ??? front. That meant that my mother ?? would be in the back ⬅⬅, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Immediatly, my mother ??? started complaining. It was uncomfortable in the back ⬅⬅⬅, it was too hot ??, it was too cold ❄❄❄. Then, she accidently woke our three 3⃣3⃣ yappy dogs up ???, and they relized that they were in a ? car ??. That meant only one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ corse of action for them. They started shaking and barked their little heads off. This ⬆ annoyed ??? my mother ?? further, untill she asked, no ???, demanded that my father ?? turn the car ? around so that we could go home ???. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination ???. After much argument, my father ? was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother ?? was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue ⏩⏩⏩ north ??. This ⬆ seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up ?? not taking that 337 mile detour. We eventually reached our destination ? after 16 hours of virtually non-stop ✋ driving ?. We got there, we ate. We slept. My mother ??? visited relatives. And so the week went by. I got to go to a ??? huge library ??, and see ?? Terminator 3 at the local theater ???. That was the high ?? point ? of the entire trip. The last day, we were deciding where to eat ??. My mom ?? said that she didn't care. So my dad ??? picked a ?? steak place ???. My mother ??? tried to order ??? a ?? mushroom ?-swiss burger...only to discover that the place ?? had no ??? swiss-cheese ??. So she decided on ??? a ??? salad, only to discover that they didn't have ?? her favorite ??? salad dressing. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat ???. After complaining how ? hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out ?? of the resteraunt, instructing the rest ??? of us to "enjoy our meals". And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. Not that my mother ? is ? annoying...just set in her ways. The whole meal ?? thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. On ? the way ↕ home ???, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother ? predicatably decided that we had to go back ⬅⬅⬅ and eat ?? at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ??? ice cream place ??. Needless to say, we ignored her. Oh, and when my sister had to go to the bathroom ? very badly during a ?? traffic jam, my mother ?? had the good ??? taste to making hissing/water ??? noises to make my sister's problem ⚠⚠⚠ worse. She claimed that my little sister always ? did it to her, and she was getting pay-back ⬅⬅. Between her bickering with my sister, and obsessivly playing neopets games, I don't know what ? to do with her. Anyway...that was my family ? vacation ??? rant. It sucked. No ? suprise. At least it's over. Sorry ?? if I complained a ??? lot. If you don't like ??? it, start ? your own longest text ? ever. Anyway, I promise to go back ⬅⬅ to my usual routine the next ⏭⏭ time ⌚⌚⌚ I rant here ??. I thought of a ??? topic on ? the way ↕↕↕ home ??, but forgot it. Seeya. I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅! I know, I took you completly by suprise. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. *cheesy super-hero voice* Well, fear not, random ?? citizen, for I, PSOPC am here ??! *normal voice* Today I have ?? a ??? very important to discuss with you in this ⬆: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC ??? SERVICE ?? ANNOUNCMENT. Yes ???, that's right ▶▶▶. It's time ⌚⌚⌚ to warn you, the viewer...er ????...reader...about the evils of various stuff. Today's lesson is ?: subliminal messages . That's right ▶▶, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. Now, I'm ⓂⓂ sure you've ???? at least heard of subliminal messages , right ▶▶▶? No ???? Well...prepare to be enlightened. Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words ?? into a ??? main image. You don't see ?? them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. Your subconsious mind acts on ?? whatever it is ? told. What ? does this ⬆ mean ??? to you? It means that WAL-MART TV ??? IS ? EVIL ???! EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! Why ? else would they invest all that money ? to show ??? commercials in their own store? Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast ⚡-food ??? resteraunts, and brand ™™ name items. BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! Okay ???. That had nothing ?? to do whatsoever with subliminal messages...it's just cool ??? to say. Anyway, only watch ?? wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a ??? new ? set of TUPERWARE, even though your old ??? set is ? PERFECTLY fine. This ⬆ has been a ??? public ?? service ?? announcment. Pretty cool ???, huh ?? Uh...you don't have ??? to take the subliminal stuff seriously. It's true, and all, but I have ?? no ?? proof about wal-mart, or certain fast ⚡ food ??? resteraunts. It makes sense, though. Wal-mart TV ? is ? evil ???. You cannot deny ❎❎ it. Seeya...hmmm ???..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computer ??...I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅. And I feel that it's time ⌚⌚ for a ? FAKE commercial break ???, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead ?? consumer. And now, a ? word from our non-existant sponsor. Ketchup: The only food ? that you'll want to eat ??? after traveling to the 5th Dimension. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a ??? highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. Stock up ??? now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price ? of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Then, just wait ??? for technology ??? to "catch-up ???" (get ??? it, catch-up ??, Ketchup?)so you can travel ??? to the 5th Dimension like ?? our scientists almost did. (Next ⏭⏭⏭ Commercial) Get ??? ready fo ??????: Faux's new ?? "reality" TV ?? show ??, "How ? Low Can We Go?" It's about six 6⃣6⃣ contestants who ? compete to create ? the worst, least likely "reality" TV ?? show ??. The winner not only gets the million-dollar ? prize, they get ??? the chance to produce the show ??? they created. Remember: if the show ?? sucks, it's their fault, not ours!(Next ⏭⏭⏭ exciting commercial!)And for all the idiots ??? out ?? there: Try new ?? and improved Dum-B ??-Gon! Dum-B ???-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up ?? to 10 ??? times smarter! Not only that, Dum-B ??-Gon: stimulates weight ⚖⚖ loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves ??? the toilet ??? seat ? up ? and is ? the perfect ??? gentle companion for your kids ???. How ? can you pass ?? up ?? this ⬆ revolutionary new ?? product? It's yours for only 3 bi ??????-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on ??? days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B ???-Gon is ? practically guaranteed!* (*Not a ?? guarantee) (Next ⏭⏭ commercial)Have ? you ever wondered why ? food ?? sometimes goes bad ??? in your fridge, even if you've ?? only had it a ? few years? It's because of the "evil ?? little faeries with sharp little teeth ?." These "faeries" sprinkle your food ??? with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a ? perfectly good ??? four 4⃣4⃣-year-old ??? meatloaf. How ? do you stop ✋✋✋ them? With our patented "spray". Our "spray" kills ??? over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see ???) Our "spray" also kills ??? most disease ?? causing agents, like ??? rats, or pigeons. WARNING ???: Leave food ?? sit ??? in an open, well-venilated spot for a ? week before eating. And now, back ⬅⬅ to our featured presentation ?. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? I bet ??? you wanna go eat ??? some Ketchup covered Dum-B ??? Gon right ▶▶▶ now, while watching "reality" TV ?. Just make sure you "spray" your food ??? first. Pathetic, wasn't it? Oh, well. I was bored ?, and a ?? dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, so...therer they are. Happy ???? Good ???. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ leavin', for now. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. And I'm ⓂⓂⓂ willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what ? reader. Today, I was checking out ?? some weird ? news. At one 1⃣ point ???, I read ?? an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map ? the surface of a ??? pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. Some people ?? disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this ⬆ is ? part of a ??? vast breakfast ??? food ??? conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a ? cheap shot." So...doesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). It just seems extremly weird ?? (and worthy of mentioning) that this ⬆ semi-important guy ? from Kansas believes in a ?? "vast breakfast ?? food ?? conspiracy". Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is ? normal. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a ??? polar bear ?? purple, drawing ? large crowds of people ???. I sure hope ??? other zoos won't copy them. Before you know it, we'll have ?? orange ?? alligators, pink ? tigers and blue ?? lions. School ??? children ?‍?‍?‍? won't be able to correctly identify the color of a ??? zebra. Random ??? people ??? will think they've ?? gone crazy, after a ? seemingly innocent ? visit to the zoo. It's wrong, I tell you. A ??? complete and total degregation of our societies values. What ? values, you say? The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Unless we spray-painted the snow ?? purple, too. Then it would be okay ?. As long as the bear ? blends in, you know? Speaking of animals, there's a ?? cat ? in California who ? is ? a ??? kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas ❄❄ presents, and anything he can find ???. He then leaves ??? them under his owners car ?. Okay ??, better leave. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. And I don't really have ? a ? topic today. I'm Ⓜ just bored ???. Sometimes I just do this ⬆, you know? Start ? typing without any idea ?? about what ? it is ? I intend to say. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what ? I'm ⓂⓂ doing here ??, but refuse to admit it to myself. Or maybe I am monumentally bored ??? and don't have ??? anything else to do at the moment. Either way ↕, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ here ??. You must be pretty bored ?, too. Otherwise, why ? on ? earth ??? (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet ??? X ❌❌, whatever) would you be here ??? It would make no ? sense. If you have ??? something better to do, why ? wouldn't you be doing it right ▶ now? I would be. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. Yeah ?. That must be it. Unless you're bored ???. Then I completly understand. I need to find ? a ??? topic. Here ??, topic, topic, topic! Come on ???, I won't hurt you, I promise! *hides large ax behind back ⬅⬅⬅* Come here ??, topic! Why ? are you afraid of little ol' me? *sigh* There are no ?? topics anywhere near me. Kinda like ??? me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. It's called Hit ?-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. That was sort of a ??? topic, even though it was sort of random ?. Which is ? what ? I do best. Okay ???, I'm ⓂⓂ done with that litte commercial. What ? now...hmmmmm...should I share with you more ➕ of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Or have ?? I been doing that too much lately? Oooooo! I know, I'll start ? of list of why ? it's fun ???/good ??? to be insane/weird ?! #1You can say or do anything and normal people ?? will agree ? with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied ??, shut up ??, and go away. Far away. I will show ??? you an example with this ⬆ completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny ??-rabbit ?? wants to rule the world ?. RANDOM ??? PERSON ???: Uh-huh ???, that's nice. ME: Yeah ?, but I told her that she'd be a ??? terible ruler. I mean ??, she traded Asia ? for a ? carrot! And she doesn't even LIKE ?? carrots! RANDOM ? PERSON ???: You don't say? ME: Yep. She also is ? the goddess of red ??? jello. RANDOM ??? PERSON ??: *head ??? explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see ???, I was a ??? very weird ??? child ??? (this ⬆ happened in elementary school ???...uh...except for that head ???-explouding part). Okay ??...on ??? to: #2 You can get ? out ?? of practically anything by saying: a ???)It's against my religion ⛪⛪ b ?)I'm ⓂⓂⓂ allergic to that. c)I have ? an extremly irrational fear of that. d)I already did that in a ??? past life ? and it sucked. e)My psychotic bunny ?? predicted I'd die ⚰⚰⚰ doing it. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a ?? certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE ?? LEST I GIVE IT POWER ? OVER ME! I'm Ⓜ allergic to parts of it, have ??? irrational fears about others and I'm ⓂⓂⓂ pretty sure it's against my Jenny religion ⛪⛪⛪...along with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Thou shalt not eat ??? spuds. Hmmmm...time ⌚⌚ for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people ?? will think nothing ??? of it. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this ⬆ website ?, drawing ?, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird ?, apparantly making lists and cheese ???...and chickens...and flame ?. Fire ??? is ? good ???. Fire ??? is ? free ?. Fire ??? is ? my friend ?...until it burns me. Then it must die ⚰⚰...painfully. And on ? to:#4You make your friends look ? normal in comparison. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird ?? names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight ??-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby ???, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby ???, Cheese ???-Monkey ?, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey ?, etc. Now, wasn't that a ??? fun ??? list!? Doesn't that just make you proud ?? to be weird ??? I should make bumber stickers saying that. Proud ?? to be weird ???. It'd be cool ???. Anyway, gotta go! *yawn* I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. Last night ??? I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a ??? lot of sleep ?. I ended up ??? writing ?? things during the time ⌚⌚⌚ of night ?? when EVERYTHING is ? hilarious, including the word sheep ??. To compound things, I wasn't alone, and things just escalated. The following is ? everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time ⌚⌚ period. Some are answers to e-mails, the rest ??? are just stuff I wrote.

Definitly. THen we go to library ???. Guess what ?? Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late ?? at nite and everything is ? funny ??? but we can't laugh ?? 'cause ??? everybody is ? sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water ?? we sobered up ??? even though we weren't drunk ??? but we ate sugar...lots and lots of sugar. MOstly donut ?? cake ??. Okay ??. JOsh says it was only one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ piece of cake ?. WE got it at Wal-mart. Or his mom ??? did. OR something. Goodbye ???...oh, and the fresh ⛲⛲⛲ chicken ?? wings ?? might be to blame. they were special wings ???. I hope ? I remember doing this ⬆. I think it's pretty funny ???. > You have ?? blue ??? hari..*gigles* I like ??? hair ???. Josh says I probably won't remember writing ?? any of this ⬆, but I can't sleep ???. THe cake ?? was good ???. aSk anybody. Big Brother may be listening right ▶▶▶ now so I beter go. They're listening for a ??? secrret...no ?? it's cause ??? of a ??? secret ???. But the secret ? doesn't exist so they are stupid. *g8ggles* bye. Yes ???. Megan has hair ??. I've ?? seen it. *giggling* It's very, very late ?? at nite. ONly not really. i like ??? sugar. NO ???, wait ???. It's early ???. WE have ? been having very profound thoughts lately. We think. THey might havve been important, but we keep forgetting them. We're not sure. Josh wants his thought back ⬅⬅⬅. *sniffle* i do, too. It's not fair. I think mine involved a ? jaunty song to sing. But I couldn't have ??? sung it 'cause ?? it would have ?? woken everyone up ??? and they would have ?? called me inconsiderate. I have ??? to get ??? up ? really early ? to leave for home ?. I should be asleep. *gigles* It milght have ?? been a ?? sugar rush 'cause ?? now we're having a ? sugar crash. OR, maybe it's the writing ??. Okay ?, maybe it was the ranch dressing instead of the special, fresh ⛲⛲⛲ buffalo wings ???. But they really were'nt buffoal wings ??? 'cause ?? buffalo's don't have ?? wings ??...cause ?? they come off when they are babies, JOsh says so and he must be right ▶▶▶ causse he's been having Profound Thoughts even though he cannot remember them. But, the wings ? were'nt really special. I don't think. Maybe we're just really, really tired ??? and had sugar. I don't want to play ? the stupid animal ?? war card game ?? 'cause ?? the stupdi bear ? gets eaten by an eaagle.. ...goodbye ??? ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd.............

As you can see ??, I was in a ??? very interesting state of mind. I hadn't had a ? genuine sugar rush since I was 11. It was fairly fun ?. Although I acted like ?? an idiot ?. Oh, well. I have ??? more ➕➕➕ stuff to write ???, but I gotta go right ▶ now. Stay tuned to hear ??? my thoughts on ?? tanning, and an evil ? card game ?, and who ? knows what ? else...Okay ??? I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. Here ??'s what ? I wrote this ⬆ weekend: Woooooo! 5000 hits! Aren't I special? *sigh* I can't think of anything to write ??. But I must. I must defeat the sister site of the Longest Text ? Ever! I mean ???, I've ???? been doing this ⬆ much, much longer than the other person ???. Hmmmmm...monkey ??. Why ? do weird ??? people ??? (myself included) obsess about monkeys? And, are monkeys spelled monkies? It just looks weird ??. Like ?? a ?? division of mounties made entirely out ?? of monks. I bet ??? it's spelled monkeys. It looks right ▶▶. Maybe I should use spell-check. But...that'd be a ??? lot of work ?, unlike ranting, raving and rambling. Hey, it's the 3 r's! No ??? longer does school ? teach ? use reading, riting and 'rithmitic, it now teaches us ranting, raving and rambling! (and redundancy!) After all, isn't that basicly what ? the best teachers do? It sets a ?? perfect ? example for you young, impressionable minds. Those are the best kind. *yet another highly dramatic, time ⌚⌚⌚-consuming sigh* I need a ?? topic. A ?? good ??? one 1⃣1⃣. Not one 1⃣ of those bargain ones anyone can find ?? at your local topic discount outlet store. I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. Most people ?? actually like ?? to spend long periods of time ⌚⌚⌚ exposing their vulnerable skin to the harmful rays of the sun ??. These people ??? have ??? obviously suffered major brain damage from their prolonged exposure to the sun ?. The actually think that their skin's efforts to protect them are ATTRACTIVE. It'd be like ? someone thinking ??? that scabs are atractive, 'case they protect you from disease ??. Then everyone would cut ✂✂✂ and scrape themselves to be covered in scabs. That's exactly what ? tanning is ? like ?. Purposly damaging the skin so you can look ?? "attractive". Now, a ?? long time ⌚⌚⌚ ago, people ??? were sort of smarter. They avoided the sun ??? at all costs. They associated tans with hard, manuel labor. Then, some fasion bimbo went on ? a ??? fasionable safarii to get ??? some fasionable furs, or whatever. When she came back ⬅⬅⬅, 'lo and behold, she had a ? tan. This ⬆ resourceful young vanguard of fasion decided to cover her extreme embarassment by acting ?? like ?? she meant to horribly damage herself. And because she was the head ??? fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look ?? was definitly "in". So, everyone went to the beach ?? and got tans. Girls ??? began wearing skimpier, and skimpier bathing suits ♠♠♠. Men ??, of course, had no ?? complaints. (Though whether it was the tan or the skimpy suits ♠♠, no ? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ will ever know.) As you read ? this ⬆ Historicly Accurate Anecdote, you must realize the parallel between it and the fable The Emperoro's New ??? Clothes ?. Someone did something incredbly stupid, but because they were powerful, everone acted like ?? it was a ?? stroke of genius. And the preceding generations became brain-washed (possibly through subliminal messages in sun ??-tan lotion commercials) to believe tans were expected. Those few who ? actually could think and avoided the sun ??? were considered to be outcasts. I don't mean ??? to insult you if you DO have ??? a ?? tan. I am simply explaining why ? I, personally, refuse to swim ??, go to the beach ???, sunbathe, leave the house ?, etc. Alrighty then. I'm Ⓜ gonna quit for now. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. I'm ⓂⓂ so very, very tired ???. School ?? has been on ?? for four 4⃣ days now. I have ? three 3⃣ very hard academic classes. They give lots and lots of homework. Two ✌✌✌ and a ?? half hours of homework (total) to be precise. I get ??? home ??? from work ? at 5:30p.m ⓂⓂ. and eat ??? dinner ???. Then I do my homework. I get ?? done at 9:15. Then I wait ??? for my mom ?? and dad ?? to stop ✋✋✋ playing Collapse II so that I can get ?? on ?. I usually have ??? less ➖➖➖ than 30 minutes. It sucks. I can't really work ?? on ? this ⬆ site even though I now have ? a ??? more ➕➕➕ in depth understanding of variables. I learned this ⬆ from my calculator. I made a ?? virtual pet ??? for it. It was fun ??. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ tired ??. Did I mention that, yet. My calculator is ? nifty. Sometimes, it is ? lazy. It tells me stuff like ??: "Warning ???: More ➕ Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". So...it doesn't bother to find ? all solutions, and it may be wrong. Geee....that is ? comforting. I love ??? my calculator, though. It does all my Math ? for me. I hate ?? Math ??. Math ?? is ? so picky. In English ??????, and stuff, if you miss one 1⃣1⃣ little detail, at most you lose partial credit, but you usually get ??? it all right ▶▶▶. In Math ?, one 1⃣ teeny, tiny little mistake will make you get ?? the entire thing wrong. I tend to make those tiny mistakes, and get ??? bad ? grades, even if I understand the concepts. I hate ?? Math ???. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ tired ???. Are you tired ??. I sure am. Guess what ? I wanna do. How ? did you ever guess? That's right ▶▶▶, I wanna sleep ???. Why ? can't I? Hmmmm...good ??? question ❓❓❓. I think I'm ⓂⓂⓂ so tired ?? I can't sleep ??. Plus...I gots oblimagations...obligaton....obligations to this ⬆ site. yeah ?. thats it...i so tired ??...bye-bye. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅. And more ➕➕➕ than slightly embarassed. Today my frazzled-brain produced something that is ? decidedly Jenny (that's my more ➕➕ or less ➖➖ "real" name). I was contemplating how ? my heavy load ? of books ??? made me like ? a ??? bulldozer and than I was about to suggest to my friend ?, "Meg" that we invent one 1⃣. Then I realized that the buldozer already HAD been invented. That's how ? I knew it's name, picture and what ? it did. That is ? just...pathetic. School ? is ? taking its toll. *sigh* *sniffle* *snort* *insert word that is ? a ?? sound ??? that begins with an "s" here ??* I don't have ??? much time ⌚⌚⌚, so, I must be brief. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ not sure how ? I CAN be brief since I have ??? absolutly nothing ??? to say. The best way ↕↕ to be brief is ? to quit now. Right ▶▶ now. Which is ? what ? I'm ⓂⓂ about to do. Any miniute now. I promise. Okay ??. Bye! *sigh* My dogs are just weird ??. You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? You know, the small, white feather. Well, my squirell now has an arch-enemy. At least her's makes sense...sort of. Her enemy is ? a ?? fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out ?? of goat ??? hair ??. She HATES and FEARS it. She'll shake and run from it, then suddenly dive and bite it's head ??. She goes crazy if someone holds it, 'cause ??? it's getting attention and not her. I'm Ⓜ fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. Maybe she just doesn't like ??? goat ???-smell ??. In any case, she is ? clearly insane. Just like ??? everyone else in my family ???. In other news, I participated in the Second Battle of the Asparagus Wars and chronicled them here ??. I'll add a ?? link ?? to the main page when I get ??? around to it. It gave me new ??? insight into how ? weird ??? I am. I fought with vegitables, covered myself in bubble ??? wrap, groveled before the Great ?????? Banana ?? and dodge skittles and flying doughnuts and rubber chikens. The entire message ?? board was like ??? one 1⃣1⃣ big insane asylum. Needless to say, I felt right ▶▶ at home ???. Well, seeya *waves brightly* I got to go to my Grendel (really cool ??? book ?) project for school ???. I's making fake soundtracks like ?? the teacher told me! BYE!!! Okay ??...I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. Today's rant is ? a ??? panic rant. There are not going to be conspiracies...or humor of any kind. I think. *let the panic begin!* IT'S NOT FAIR! Why ? do I have ?? to work ? year round ⭕⭕⭕? I only signed up ? for a ??? semester. I was looking forward ⏭⏭⏭ to having A ??? elective, while everyone else was enjoying three 3⃣ or four 4⃣4⃣4⃣...or even more ➕➕. Oooo..I'm ⓂⓂ a ??? poet, and don't I know it? In any case...it's awful. It's bad ?? enough to go to school ?, leave school ???, go to work ?, leave work ??, do homework and then wait ?? for my dad ??? to get ?? off of the computer ?? so that I can do stuff. I want SOME free ?? time ⌚⌚⌚. That's all. Is ? that too much to ask? I spend from 8-5 doing what ? everyone else wants. When is ? it MYturn? Next ⏭⏭ semester will be almost exactly like ??? this ⬆ one 1⃣1⃣. Even though my schedule ??? is ? technically supposed to be completly differnt. You see ???, my school ?? has "block" scheduling. That means I take four 4⃣4⃣ classes this ⬆ semester and four 4⃣ different classes next ⏭⏭⏭ year. But one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ of my classes is ? work ??, and two ✌✌ others are horrible year-round ⭕⭕ classes. So next ⏭ semester I'll still have ??? work ???, AP Lit, and AP Physics. It's not FAIR. Physics is ? so FREAKIN' hard! I don't understand it. I have ??? no ? problem ⚠⚠⚠ with Lit. Okay ??. Work ?. I love ??? my work ??, I love ??? the kids ??? I work ??? with. But I HATE ?? spending three 3⃣3⃣3⃣ hours of every day in a ?? "class" when everyone else's class is ? only an hour and a ?? half. I don't care if I have ??? to ride the bus ?? home ? if I stop ✋✋ work ??. I don't care if I'd get ? home ??? only an hour or so before I normaly do. I want an elective. Maybe. I think. All I know is ? that I've ?????? been assuming one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ thing while the person ? in charge has been assuming a ?? completly different thing. Neither of us thought to question ❓❓❓ the other. And so I'm ⓂⓂⓂ in deep doo-doo. *sniffle* I just want to have ?? some FREAKIN' variety in my daily grind, you know? I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. Yeah ?, I know, regular schedule ?? schools do that. I pity them, I really do. I've ?????? spent ??? the past three 3⃣3⃣ years of my life ? EXPECTING each semester to be like ?? a ?? mini-year. I DO NOT LIKE ??? CHANGE! This ⬆ is ? just way ↕↕ too much of a ??? change at once. I don't want year-round ⭕⭕ classes. I don't want a ??? full ? year of work ???. I don't want to be in this ⬆ mess...I'm ⓂⓂ going to bed ??. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. I don't have ? much of a ?? choice about the whole work ?? thing. Plus, the kids ??? at the daycare (where I work ??, obviously) say that I'm ⓂⓂⓂ "cool ??? to talk ? to". That makes me feel alll warm ??? and fuzzy inside. Like ? a ??? muffin. They just like ??? how ? I know lots of pointless laws and random ? facts. Okay ??. ON ? TO THE CONPIRACY OF THE DAY!: I've ?? had this ⬆ nagging fear that I am part of some random ?? but vast conspiracy (about what ? I'm ⓂⓂⓂ not sure but it must be vast). Meanwhile there is ? a ? vast conspiracy at school ??? to keep me ignorant about my pawn roll in the other vast conpiracy by keeping me vastly bored ???. (In a ? very vast sense) And: did you ever notice that the word "conspiracy" is ? vastly similar to the word "constipation". I only mention this ⬆ 'cause ?? I've ???? accidently spelled constipation instead of conspiracy a ??? few times. (on ?? accident, vast number of times) Hee-Hee! Isn't vast a ?? funny ? word? You can just picture sterotypical pirates saying, "A ?? vast ye mateys!". I'm Ⓜ not exactly sure what ? that means, but it sure is ? funny ??:) You don't agree ???? Shame on ??? you! Code: 888 of The Flaming Chickens Handbook states that The Patron Saint ?? of Paperclips (still me) is ? always ? right ▶▶▶. ALWAYS ?. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. End ??? of story. Seeya. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. I've ?????? been playing one 1⃣1⃣ of the new ??? neopets slot machines (black pawkeet). I'm ⓂⓂⓂ completly and totally addicted. Gambling ??? is ? so much fun ???! I've ???? won 500 np ????, at least and I'm ⓂⓂⓂ on ??? a ? roll. Now sure, I could have ?? won more ➕➕ than 500 at some game ??? in which you don't have ??? to pay to play ???. But, what ? would be the fun ?? in that? I even came up ??? with a ?? mathematical explanation for why ? gambling ? is ? fun ??? (while I was eating a ??? hyper-speed ?? dinner ???, thinking ?? nothing ? of getting back ⬅⬅⬅ to the slot machine ??). Okay ???. If you don't understand the concept of numbers ? less ➖➖➖ than zero 0⃣0⃣, (negative numbers ??) just skip this ⬆ part. Imagine a ??? number line 〰〰 that points in the positive and negative direction ☝☝☝. When I start ??? playing a ?? game ?, I am on ?? 0. I have ??? neither won nor lost ??? money ??/neopoints. When I win ??? 500np on ??? a ? normal game ???, I move to the 500 point ??. There is ? exactly 500 units of distance between the two ✌✌✌ extremes of winning ??? amounts (0 and 500) BUT! When I play ?? a ? gambling ?? game ??, there is ? a ??? possibility that I'll lose everything, so I start ? on ??? negative however much NP ?????? I have ?? with me. If I had 500np with me, I'd be at-500. Then, when I win ??? 500 additional np ??, I move to the 500np point ???. The distance between the two ✌✌✌ extremes of how ? much I could have ? won is ? 1000np, making me feel like ??? I've ?????? won much more ➕➕➕ than if I'd played a ??? normal game ??. Did you understand that? Good ???. I probably won't later. But that is ? irrelevant. Goodbye ??! I am back ⬅⬅⬅. And I hava a ??? very, almost special rant for you. The previous ⬅⬅⬅ sentence made absolutly no ?? sense. Good ??? for it. In a ? recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack ??? food ?, Cheez-Its. Naturally, I had many mixed feelings, primarily disgust, as I have ?? not voluntarily eaten a ? Cheez-It in quite some time ⌚⌚⌚. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is ?. My family ?? has always ? bought Cheez-Its, to the point ? of making me physically sick ?? at the thought of eating one 1⃣1⃣1⃣. (To this ⬆ day, however, I will almost literally kill ?? for a ? box ? of Cheez-It party ??? mix, as it is ? a ??? rare commodity at my house ??.) Fortunatly, my mom ??? recently finnaly switched our snack ? food ? preference. To Cheese ?? Nips. Say it. Out ?? loud ???. What ? does it sound ??? like ??? When you look ? at them they are identical to the evil ??? little Cheez-Its. The only difference is ? the taste, which I enjoy, since it is ? new ??? and different. What ? I want to know is ? this ⬆: are there no ??? intelectual property rights in the world ??? of food ?? products? I mean ?, don't you think the creators of Cheese ???-Nips had a ?? box ?? of Cheez-Its out ?? when they were designing their product? It seems like ? blaggerent plagerism. The only reason the makers of Cheese ???-Nips don't get ?? sued is ? because of the tast difference and Cheese ? Nips are made of real "cheese ?" rather than cheez. It makes you think of Name-Brand ™™™ vs ?. Generic cereal brands. They are the samething, with the same look ???, and almost same name. But people ?? buy ?? name brands. Why ?, because they assume it's better quality. Plus, boxes are more ➕➕➕ convient than bags. A ??? profound statement, if I ever heard one 1⃣1⃣. Any way ↕↕↕, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ leaving to eat ? some Cheessy goodness! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅. Apparantly my standards of weird ??? have ?? gone up ???. This ⬆ morning ???, my Mom ??? came home ??? from work ??. She was upset ?, because she had accidently run over an armidillo. She said she hurt it the first time ⌚⌚⌚, and wanted to put it out ?? of it's misery, so she went back ⬅⬅⬅ and ran over it 11 more ➕➕ times. But it's legs were still moving ?? and it was alive. She was extremly upset ???. When I related this ⬆ story to my friends (including "Meg") they thought it was hilarious. They couldn't stop ✋ laughing ???. I thought it was sad ??...and normal. They particularly liked how ? I said that she went back ⬅⬅ and ran over it 11 more ➕➕➕ times. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ not sure why ?. Of course, when I next ⏭ saw my Mom ???, she retold the story to me, several times. With the exact same words ???, motions and emotions. She didn't think it was weird ??, either. Perhaps my family ? is ? just so weird ???, we've ?? lost ??? all sense of perspective. Or maybe it's everybody else that's weird ??. I just don't know. What ? do you think, Hypothetical Reader? You don't know either? Hmmmmm...what ? is ? this ⬆ world ??? coming to? Oh, by the way ↕↕↕, I was paid a ? decent compliment today. One 1⃣1⃣ of my friends (who ? laughed at the armidillo story) named Tonileigh said "Jenny (that's me) is ? weirder than the average Psycho." and " You think Jenny's weird ???? Wait ??? till you see ? her in angry ?? mob form!" Now THAT'S just weird ??. "angry ?? mob form"? That just sounds nifty! I can clone myself and form and angry ??? mob? In anycase, this ⬆ was particularly funny ?? because Tonileigh is ? one 1⃣1⃣ of my "normaler" friends. Although I tell you she can't possibly be normal, since she hangs out ?? with me. Anyway, I'm ⓂⓂ gonna go. I gots stuff to do! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅. If you'll look ? toward the bottom ??? of this ⬆ page, you'll notice that I added a ??? nifty little thing called the "babel fish ??". It will translate any thing, to anything else. Ain't it nifty? What ?'s really fun ?? is ? to translate an English ?? saying, like ??? out ?? of sight ?, out ?? of mind. Then, when it's in German ??????, or whatever, translate it back ⬅⬅⬅ to English ????. It's so completly garbled, it's funny ???. For instance, I wrote: "I am the Crazy Taco ???!", and translated it to German ??????. I then copied and pasted the German ?????? and put it in the text ? box ??. I translated it from German ?????? to English ???? and got "I am the Moved Taco ?!" See ?? Hours of completly useless fun ??! This ⬆ has been my hourly Public ??? Service ?? Announcement that I only do when I feel like ??? it. Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅! Woooo! And do I ever have ? a ??? topic today! I've ???? been a ??? paranoid, conspiracy seeking mood lately and the newest threat to my sanity is ?: smoke ?? detectors! Come on ???, think about it! In all those 911 ? shows, people ??? wake ⏰⏰⏰ up ? and their house ??? is ? engulfed in flames. The smoke ?? detector either never went off, or went off and the people ?? just slept through it. Okay ?, fire ??? is ? loud ???. And hot ?...and smoky. If you can sleep ??? through a ?? raging fire ???, close enough to set off the smoke ? detector, then you are definitly going to sleep ?? through the smoke ??? detector. Plus, the fire ??? gradually gets louder, and hotter, and smokier. The sleeping ??? person ?? will gradually get ? used to it (and incorporate it into their dreams). By the time ⌚⌚ the smoke ??? dector goes off, the fire ??? has drowned it out ?? to no ?? more ➕➕➕ than an annoying buzz. My point ?? is ? that smoke ??? detectors have ??? very little value in home ??? security ???. Okay ??, one 1⃣1⃣ day, in the future ???, smoke ??? dectectors will probably activate litte fire ???-fighter bots that every home ??? will have ?. But untill that day, the concept of the smoke ?? detector is ? useless. If you're awake to hear ? it, chances are that you've ?? already noticed the smoke ???, fire ??? and eminent danger ☢☣. If you're asleep, the fire ??? will wake ⏰⏰ you. So, that leads us to the evil ??? paranoid conspiracy I thought of the other night ???. What ? if the smoke ??? detectors have ?? tiny litte cameras in them? That would explain that annoying green ??? little blinkie light ?? in them. Unless, of course, the government was smart enough to have ??? cameras without the blinkie light ?. In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light ?? help ? night ?-vision cameras see ??? in the dark ??? It only takes a ??? little light ??? to help ? those thingies, and smoke ??? detectors provide more ➕➕➕ than a ?? little. I can even see ?? the shadow of my hand ? on ??? the wall from the light ? those things shed. It's annoying. Here ?? I am, trying to get ??? a ?? decent nights sleep ??? and there's this ⬆ green ??? light ? that periodically blinks to red ??? directly in front of me. It's a ??? small light ??, but it's sooooooo annoying. There MUST be some sort of conspiracy involved, 'cause ?? if there is ?, I can get ??? rid of the EVIL ?? thing! So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down ⬇⬇ the evil ??? governmental safety device and take it apart. If you can still think during all that incessent beeping, you'll probably find ? evidence that I'm ⓂⓂⓂ really paranoid. Or possibly right ▶▶...that would be scary ???. In any case...I guess that smoke ? detectors are a ??? neccesary evil ???...but...WHY ? DO THEY HAVE ?? TO HAVE ? THAT STUPID LIGHT ??? Does it serve an obvious purpose? No ?! That's why ? it MUST be EVIL ???! You cannot deny ❎❎ the logic of my thinking ???! Now...I'm Ⓜ gonna go and worry about the light ? on ? my toaster oven...seeya! *sighs dramatically* I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. It's not fair, ya know? Each Friday, I wait ? (all tingly with anticipation) for the weekend so that I can stay up ??? 'till the wee hours of the morning ?? and sleep ??? past noon ?. But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm ⏲⏲ clock ⌛⌛, or something. During the weekdays, I get ? about seven 7⃣7⃣7⃣ hours of sleep ??? (usually less ➖➖➖) and wake ⏰⏰⏰ up ?? at 6:11 a ???.m ⓂⓂ. Yep. Now, some of you are probably calling ?? me a ? whiner, 'cause ??? you have ??? to get ??? up ??? at 4:30, or whatever. And lots of you are probably gloating 'cause ? you don't have ??? to get ??? up ? 'till 8:30. The reason I have ??? to get ?? up ? at 6 something is ? that I...I...I ride the bus ??? to school ?. Yeah ?...I know...pathetic. (Believe me, though, you never want to see ?? me drive...I get ? easily distracted by clouds and signs saying FREE ? KITTIES!...kitties are hugable...but if you hug them...they'll scratch your eyes ??? out ??...so then you have ?? to hiss ?? at them and establish dominence...but kitties don't like ?? that...even though dogs do...but kitties are obviously not dogs...even though they are fuzzy.) So...my lack of a ? car ??? and driving ?? skills force me to use the bus ???, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school ??? even starts. It's stupid. It only takes me a ??? few minutes to get ??? ready, then I can go back ⬅⬅ to bed ?. Now...I bet ?? you're wondering why ? I don't just wake ⏰ up ??? a ? few minutes before I have ?? to go. My sister. My evil ???, EVIL ??? sister. That's why ?. She's evil ???. SHE has to get ??? up ??? at 6:11 to put on ?? make-up ?, do her hair ??? and basically annoy the heck out ?? of me. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark ???, I get ??? up ??. Oh...I'm Ⓜ rambling again, aren't I? Back ⬅⬅⬅ to the original topic! So...when the weekend rolls around, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ fairly exhausted. But, my stupid internal alarm ⏲ clock ⌛⌛⌛ is ? starting to wake ⏰⏰ me up ?? around six 6⃣6⃣. I can usually fall ??? back ⬅⬅⬅ asleep (if I don't panic and think I'm Ⓜ late ??? for school ???), but the stupid thing wakes me up ??? again exactly seven 7⃣7⃣7⃣ hours after I originally fell asleep. Which is ? why ? it's not even 10 ???:00 and here ?? I am, typing. Which I suppose may be a ?? good ??? thing, seeing as how ? I'm ⓂⓂⓂ currently in a ? Longest Text ? Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site. *cough*She's winning ??*cough* But that's just because I have ??? so much to do to mantain and update this ⬆ site, I rarely get ??? a ??? chance to just sit ?? here ?? and type ⌨. Oh, and I would like ? to mention to my *snicker* LOYAL fans that this ⬆ Longest Text ? Ever DOES get ??? updated at least once a ??? week, so please ?, please ?, please ???, PLEASE ?? do not read ? this ⬆ once, in one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ sitting and then leave forever, and ever and ever! It makes me sad ?...*sniffle* Well...I feel better now. Did you know that I now possess a ?? DOMAIN NAME? Yep. That's right ▶▶▶! It'll be ready soon ??, ain't it great ??????? Okay ???, back ⬅⬅⬅ to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. Another reason why ? this ⬆ isn't as long as Galaxy's is ? that I refuse to write ??? every day as it would--this ⬆ is ? the funny ??? part--LOWER THE QUALITY OF MY OVERALL WORK ???! HA-HA! HILARIOUS! "lower the quality"? Sometimes I crack myself up ???. If this ⬆ was quality work ?, I'd publish it and make a ?? fortune. Speaking of publishing, I do plan on ?? somehow, someday publishing this ⬆ as the first rambling narrative that makes no ??? sense, and is ? about as interesting as rereading the almanac. I'd probably lose money ?, but the concept is ? interesting. I think. Anyway, I better go or the quality of this ⬆ will go down ⬇⬇ in that evil ?? downward spiral ? thing I discussed a ? few months back ⬅⬅⬅. Seeya. I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅. Wooooo! I's can get ??? to my site again! It was down ⬇⬇ for a ??? whole day or so 'cause ??? of all the traffic I got from my new ??? quizes. I have ?? an extra-special rant for you all today, to celebrate the new ??? domain name! www.flaming-chickens.com! Okay ?. I am now barophobic (afraid of gravity). I recently learned in my EVIL ? Physics class that on ? average, humans lose one 1⃣1⃣ inch of height during the day due to gravity pushing on ?? their spine. The height is ? regained at night ??, when you're laying down ⬇⬇. This ⬆ naturally alarmed the HECK out ?? of me! GRAVITY IS ? EVIL ???! It's pushing down ⬇⬇ on ??? me, squishing my spine. MY SPINE IS ? SQUISHY! That's is ? just so extremly creepy ???. What ? if, eventually, Earth ?'s gravity get ???'s very very strong ??, and we all imploud from the squishyness? It'd be like ?? when you go to the bottom ? of the ocean ???, only with gravity instead of pressure...*shudders* Pressure is ? evil ???, too. Air ? pressure. Did you know that there is ? over two ✌✌✌ miles of air ? sitting on ? you right ▶▶ now? Even though air ??? is ? light ??, that much air ? adds up ???. TWO ✌✌✌ MILES? Even the air ??? is ? conspiring to squish me! If you don't believe that all that air ?? has weight ⚖⚖⚖, try going into space ??? sometime. Space ? is ? notorious for not having air ??. When you're in space ??? (without a ??? space ?? suit ??) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. You exploud. Since all that nifty air ?? isn't pressin' on ??? you, your guts and stuff are free ?? to go wherever they want, and the EVIL ?? little things decide to roam around. Outside your body. It's creepy ??. So...air ?? pressure can be a ? good ??? thing. Even though it gains ?? pleasure from squishing my spine. That's it, I'm ⓂⓂ gonna take drastic measures! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonna launch ? THE OFFICIAL FLAMING CHICKENS LUNAR COLONY! The moon ?? has one 1⃣-sixth of Earth ??'s gravity. And absolutly NO ??? air ??-pressure. We can all wear spiffy space ???-suits ♠♠ and feel all superiour to all those stupid earthlings. So...if you wish ??? to contribute to this ⬆ great ?????? and magneficent and magestic and MOOSEY project...we need the following things: 739 rolls of aluminium foil (preferably the extra shiny ✨✨✨ kind) 417 refridgerator boxes, 9000 rolls of "sticky on ? both sides" duct tape ???, 300 lbs of chicken ??? feathers (preferably white) and 1 (one 1⃣1⃣1⃣) thermo-nuclear ☢-rocket ???-thruster. If you can spare any of these items, please ??? e-mail ?? them to me. Yes ???. E-mail ?. Did you really think I'd give you guys my ADDRESS? Now...I know what ? you guys are thinking ??...some of those items on ? that list are gonna be hard to find ?. Especially that duct tape ???. But, believe me, it's MUCH more ➕ practical than the alternative. What ? is ? the alternative, you ask? I'll tell you. Making me(The Patron Saint ?????? of Paperclips) the Ruler of the Laws of Nature ?! That way ↕↕↕ I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air ??? pressure! I'm ⓂⓂ already half way ↕↕↕ there, since I conclusivly proved (in Physics class) that gravity actually causes things to slow ? down ⬇⬇ and EVENTUALLY GO UP ???! Sure, my TEACHER said that was because I was doing the problems wrong, but once I'm ⓂⓂ the Ruler of the Laws of Nature ??, I'll change the problems so that I'm Ⓜ right ▶▶▶! Oooo! I thought of another very good ??? reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony! As we all know, the world ??? is ? going to end ?? in about 380,695 days! This ⬆ means that we only have ? a ??? very short while to prepare. And I sugest that we build ? the rocket ? so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh ? at the stupid earthlings who ? are blowing up ? because they didn't listen ??? to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! Once we are on ?? our Lunar Landing ?? Site, we will engage in many exciting activites, primarily related to suffucating and starving. If (and this ⬆ is ? a ??? big if) the world ? DOES survive, we can beg them for food ??, oxygen and other supplies. They'll probably just call us weird ??? and laugh ??? at us, but that's beside the point ???! I can even see ? the Official Flaming Chicken ??? Rocket ???. It'll be covered in chicken ?? feathers, and shaped like ?? a ?? chicken ?. The foil will make up ??? the beak and the folded legs, and the thruster can simulate the tail. It will be a ?? truly magestic site, as it launches from the earth ???, spewing excess oxygen, cardboard ???, feathers and tape ???. But, act now, or it will be too late ???, and you will be one 1⃣1⃣ of the losers that we'll be laughing ? at, assuming we have ?? air ?? to laugh ?? with. Remember, e-mail ??? psopc@flaming-chickens.com the much needed supplies...if that is ? possible. If not, then some day, when the Internet ? is ? down ⬇⬇ and I'm ⓂⓂⓂ really bored ??, I will construct a ??? model OFCR and attempt to launch ?? it. That will be a ?? wonderous day. I think I'll get ?? my little sister to be the test ??? piolet. Well...better go...I need to plan this ⬆ out ?? more ➕➕➕...I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. And mildly weirded-out ??. My dad ???...was on ? this ⬆ site. My dad ??. It even SOUNDS weird ???. He took the TAB member quiz ?? and turned out ?? to be me, he took the JOB quiz ???, and was a ?? repo man ?? (which had a ??? pic of my brother) He said he wanted to see ??? what ? I was doing, and to make sure that I wasn't saying anything derrogatory about my parents ???. He looked me upvia yahoo's search ??? engine using flaming-chicken ??? as the keyword. It took him to my quiz ??? page. So he probably didn't see ??? the majority of my site. It's just weird ??. All along, my entire family ??? has scoffed (nifty word, isn't it?) about my site, and called me weird ???. I dunno...I guess I'm ⓂⓂ just kinda freaked out ??. Oh, and don't forget to celebrate Mad ? Hatter Day on ??? October the 6th. Seeya. I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅. I had some conspriacy or another to rant about. But then I listened to some of the new ??? music ??? I put on ?? my site and mellowed out ??. I can't remember what ? I was gonna rant about. Oh, yeah ?. Now I do. "Purified" water ??. Just wait ?? a ??? sec while I stop ✋✋ the music ???. *content sigh* There we go...that's much better. Now I can think. That's right ▶, folks. "Purified" water ??. Now...just stop ✋ a ??? second and contemplate that. Pure means, well, no ?? extra stuff. 100 ??% of something. Right ▶▶▶? Well, next ⏭⏭⏭ time ⌚⌚ you buy ? your $3 FREAKIN' dollar ? bottle ??? of water ???, consider this ⬆. On ?? almost all the "purified" water ??? bottles I've ???? ever seen it has the following mesage: "Purified through reverse osmosis. Minerals added for a ?? pure, fresh ⛲⛲ taste." In other words ??, they take all that extra "stuff" out ?? to make it pure. Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. But it's not. For all you, the uninformed consumer, could know, it might have ?? rat ? poison ☠☠ in it. "Pure" water ?? manufactuerers are not required to list the ingredients of water ?, because the average consumer believes that it should be obvious. But that is ? false! They add random ? minerals to our water ??? to make it taste better, and then advertise it as pure! It's an outrage! I'd rather drink ? the "impure" tap ??? water ? where at least I KNOW that someone, somewhere tested it. It's a ? law ???, I think. But does anyone test ? "pure" water ?? Most likely they test ??? it BEFORE they add the extra stuff..."Yep, Bob, this ⬆ is ? some mighty pure water ?." "Yep, Bill ???, time ⌚ to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!" What ? kind of reasoning is ? that? Wouldn't pure water ? TASTE pure, and impure water ? TASTE impure? The insanity and stupidity is ? mind boggling! That's why ? I like ?? fast ⚡⚡-food ? salt. It actually lists what ? random ? minerals they through in to make it TASTE like ?? salt. There's salt, of course, and aluminum sulfate, and other compounds. But the point ? is ?, if I were, say, freakily allergic to a ? random ??? mineral, I could read ?? the ingredients and not eat ??? the salt. That's what ? they need to do with the water ??. Or, at the very least, not label ? it as "pure". Okay ???. That's the rant of the week, month ?, year, whatever. I'll probably have ??? another one 1⃣1⃣ soon ?, but that whole water ? thing has been buggin me for awhile. Well...seeya! Er ????...yeah ?...I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. It's been awhile, (at least two ✌✌✌ weeks) since I've ?????? written here ??. I've ?????? been obsessed with various webcomics, creating the stupidly long new ?? Phobia Quiz ? and being maniacly hysterical about my site always ? being down ⬇⬇ due to bandwith issues. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ goin' light ?? on ?? the advertising at the moment, which is ? why ? I'm Ⓜ free ??? to write ?? here ??. I WANT to write ??. But I can't think of anything to write ??? about. Typical. I finnaly get ? some free ??? time ⌚⌚⌚ to rant and rave and all my topics just magically melted away. Let's see ??...what ? have ??? I ranted about before, subliminal messages, vast breakfast ? cereal conspiracies, water ??, uh...reality tv ???? And that's just what ? I can list from memory. Oh, yeah ?! How ? could I forget the stupid Tootsie Roll Pop Commercials? TACO ??? is ? still in my heart ❤❤❤. *sighs*...now...let's see ???...what ? to rant about today... ... ... ... ... I can't think of anything!? Is ? this ⬆ writer's block?! Or maybe I just wanna go to bed ???. Sleeping ?? is ? fun ??. Well...let's see ???. Did you know that statistics prove that 45% of all statistics are completly made up ??? by me (The Patron Saint ?? of Paperclips)? Well...they are. Ha! I see ? you have ? no ?? reaction to that, do you Hypothetical Reader? I have ?? once again caused that explody sensation in your brain meats! You cannot DEFEAT me! I rule the...er ??????...*random ?? Loyal Minion whispers in ear ??* That's right ▶! I rule the Internet ??! The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! You CANNOT DENY ❎❎ it! It says that in black and...er ?? lime green ???! It MUST be true! Because it is ? in those veyr colors ?? that the Matrix is ? programmed! Ahhh...I see ? your confusion! You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ? ME! Wait ??...how ?...how ? can I BE logic? That doesn't make any sense...you can't BE something abstract...can you? Now MY brain meats feel explody. That's not fair! I see ??? your EVIL ? plot now, Hypothetical Reader! You just let me rant on ??? and on ?? for you KNEW that eventually I would confuse myself with my vast puddle of knowledge ??. You are devious...I give you that. Unfortunantly...I must leave...before the confusion spreads and I do something stupid...like ?? revealing my one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ weakness before you...THAT'S IT! Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint ???? of Paperclips (ME!!!) does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weakness...besides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a ??? weakness anyway since no ? representative of the Dark ???, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint ???? of Paperclips (Guess, who ?...no ?...no ???...THAT'S IT!) and even if they could it wouldn't do them any good ??? because it would scare them instead of the aformentioned individual. Boy ??...I really enjoy confusing myself!:) Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ baaaaa-ack! Aren't you happy ??? Here ??, see ??? if you can find ??? the super-secret ? message ?!
While you wait ??? for yesterday's tomorrow, lunge back ⬅ and remember that day. You know the one 1⃣1⃣. Yeah ?, this ⬆ doesn't mean ?? anything to you. Are you surprised ???? Obviously not. Answer ✅✅✅ me, you blobby looking freak! Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages.

Did you find ? it? Wasn't it super? And secret ???? I thought it was. But then, I'm ⓂⓂ me...and you're you. I think. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ pretty sure you're not me...but you could be that other guy ??. Yeah ?...that...guy ???...you know who ? I'm ⓂⓂ talking about. No ?? Do not MOCK me! I know where you are right ▶▶ now! Spooky ?⚡?, huh ?? Ooooo...time ⌚ for today's topic. My favorite ? stuff...JTHM...I have ??? my libraries copy of JTHM...I shall quote Noodle ??? Boy ? for you:) (Full ?? copyright ©©©/credit to Jonhnen Vasquez for writin' the stuff, I'm ⓂⓂ just sharing the spleeny goodness with you). (it's edited, of course, to stay PG13...**** signifies a ??? random ??? naugty word:)) "HEY, DOG ??? ENTITY! RISE UP ? AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON ?!! **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! MEOW ?!MEOW ?!MEOW ???! CAT ??? CHOW!!! CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR ?? MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE ???! GRRR!! CHEESE ??!!! I SENSE YOUR ENVY OF MY NECK!! AND I DONT BLAME YOU!! DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! I HAVE ?? POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! WANNA SEE ? ME PULL A ??? TAPEWORM OUTTA MY ****!! HUH ????!...STARE ??? DEEP INTO THE STINKING ABYSS OF MY INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SLICES!!! HOLY WAX ???! CHECK OUT ?? MY ARMPITS!!! HEEEEY! WAIDAMINIT!! WAIT ??? JUST A ?? POLYP PICKING MINUTE!! I SEE ? YOUR GAME ?! YOU WILL NOT SINK MY CHEERIO!! I SEE ?? WHAT ? IS ? TRANSPIRING HERE ??!!! YOU'RE ALL ZOMBIE THIGH-FAT PEOPLE ? BROUGHT INTO ANIMATION BY SOME EVIL ??? FORCE OF FORCEFUL EVIL ??!!! **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! MOOOO! WOOF ???! OH, DON'T YOU SEE ? THE TOENAILS?!! OH, SO SPLENDID!! A ??,B ??,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K...! UNDER SUCH EXTREME HEAT, WEAR AND DEGRADATION IS ? INEVITABLE!! PARTS BREAK ?? AFTER OVERUSE!! AND THAT IS ? WHY ? TOASTER PASTRIES WILL BURST INTO FLAMES IF YOU DON'T KEEP AN EYE ??? ON ?? THEM! Now, wasn't that entertainment. I added to the lenghth of the LTE without even thinking ???! That's talent. Lots of gooey talent. Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a ??? topic. And any weirdness I could come up ??? with would be normal compared to Noodle ? Boy ??, so...I bid thee farewell ???...seeya! I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. And I've ?????? realized that I am a ??? complete idiot ?. For an ENTIRE MONTH ?? I have ??? possesed the arcane knowledge ??, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. I know. You're shocked at my selfish, bad ???, memory. I apologize from the depths of my moosey soul. For, you see ??...my life ? long goal has been fufilled...*anticipatory silence ??*...THERE ACTUALLY IS ? GRAPE PIE!!!! I know...you are as shocked as I am. One 1⃣1⃣1⃣ day I was randomly looking up ??? images via Google...and 'lo and behold, there it was. Grape Pie. It was as if it had been just sitting there...waiting for me to discover it. Apparantly Grape Pie isn't mainstream, but it has existed for some time ⌚⌚⌚. In obscure cookbooks. Well...that just makes me filled with gooey happiness ☺. Of course, there is ? also regret...after all, I could have ??? made a ?? fortune if I'd been the first to think of it. Oh, well. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket ? chirps, someone coughs* fans. I can't remember what ?. I guess I'll just rant and rave about that whole vicious downward spiral ? of my writing ??. I mean ???, I KNOW people ??? are coming here ??...I have ??? proof! *holds up ??? a ??? piece of paper ??, which, from a ??? distance, appears to have ? writing ??? on ? it* Yes ??, undenyable proof! But this ⬆ proof degrades this ⬆ mysterious, mystical ?? and mystifying "quality" of my words ???. After all, how ? can I be self derisive, and full ??? of low expectations for this ⬆ site if I KNOW people ? are here ??...several thousand of them in fact, in just a ? few months. It's strange. I felt more ➕➕ fufilled when this ⬆ site was a ? barren wastland of useless space ???. But, if it had remained that way ↕↕, I would have ??? had no ??? impetus to continue ⏩⏩ my pointlessly insane ranting. Oh, speaking of insane, I STILL need those much needed supplies for the Official Flaming-Chickens Lunar Colony! No ?? one 1⃣ has even bothered to e-mail ??? them to me...*sniffle*. I needs the duct tape ???! How ? can I survive without the sticky goodness? HOW ?, I ask you!? It cannot be...hmmmm...maybe I should just use IMAGINARY duct tape ???...it's easier to come by ,but it's much more ➕ expensive...I'm Ⓜ not sure what ? to do. *enter ↩↩↩ Squirell* What ?'s that, little Squirell? That's just silly ???. You KNOW I ran out ?? of imaginary money ? last week when I bought that imaginary country ??. WHAT ?!? Just "imagine" I have ??? more ➕➕➕!? What ? a ??? crazy idea ??. So crazy it just might work ???! *scrunches eyes ??? and makes funny ??? sounds* Nope ???. It didn't. I guess I'll just have ?? to wait ?? untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank ??? truck ???. Until then...I have ? absolutly no ? imaginary money ?. What ? ever shall I do? I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food ?! Squirell? You gots extra money ???, don't you? *nods* I thought so. You give to me? No ??? I gives you imaginary IOU's...here ??...yours. Thank you Squirell. *Squirell wanders off in search ??? of electrical sockets to sniff ??* What ?'s that, Hypothetical Reader? You don't know who ? Squirell is ?? You haven't been paying attention have ?? you? She's my little puppy ??...she fears grape flavored stuff, wind ???, rain ???, television ??, noise ???, silence ??, small children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? and pretty much everything. She likes sniffing potentially dangerous stuff, like ??? electrical sockets. Surely you have ?? heard of her? Still no ??? Oh, well. You know...I enjoy having these conversations with you. It really lets me get ?? to know you. What ?'s that? You say I'm ⓂⓂⓂ really just talking to myself? What ? an eccentric idea ?! To think, YOU are trying to tell ME that YOU aren't here ??. How ? absurd. After all, I'm ⓂⓂ talking to you, aren't I? *nods* Well, yeah ?...I KNOW I'm ⓂⓂⓂ actually typing instead of talking. Wait ??? a ??? minute...so you're saying that I'm ⓂⓂ talking and responding to you, but you won't be reading this ⬆ until long after I have ??? finished typing? Now who ?'s the crazy one 1⃣1⃣1⃣? For that theory to work ???, I'd have ??? to be psychic...or in possesion of a ??? freaky time ⌚-traveling computer ???. Because what ? you're saying is ? that I'm Ⓜ talking to people ?? in the future ??. That my words ?? somehow travel ??? accross time ⌚ (if only a ??? few minutes) and are somehow picked up ? by future ??? you, and that my responses are dictated by future ? you's reactions. What ?? You mean ?? that I'm Ⓜ just randomly responding regardless of your reactions? Why ?, that would be insane, wouldn't it? That's the point ??? you're trying to get ?? across? *pauses* Oh. I see ??. You wanna play ??? that way ↕↕. Well...two ✌ can play ? by THOSE rules ??. You wanna try to convince me I'M ⓂⓂⓂ crazy? Well, look ?? at you? How ? do you know I even exist? For all you know you could be staring at that freaky 3-D maze screen ?? saver with a ??? blank look ??? on ??? your face ? while you THINK you're reading an inhumanly long text ?. For all you know, you could be halucinating my entire site! For that matter, how ? do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! You could be floating out ?? in empty ?? space ??, conjuring nice little fantasies to relieve the monotony of being the only living being! Every single person ? you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a ??? crazy house ??! Not only that, but how ? do you know that YOU actually exist? You could be the figment of someone else's dream. What ? would happen when that dreamer woke? Are you happy ???? You got me started. I may NEVER shut up ???. I'll just go on ?? and on ?? about how ? crazy you COULD be. All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. *blinks* And I STILL can't remember what ? else I was gonna say to you people ??. Strange, huh ???? Well, I better leave before I go on ??? and on ??? about more ➕➕ "reality" theories. Makes you wonder about "reality" television ??, huh ???? Seeya. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. Grrrr...I had a ?? nifty rant all planned out ?? in my head ???. And then I was unable to get ??? on ?? the computer ??? and I forgot most of it. Oh, but I did remember what ? else I wanted to say to you people ???. Remember that rant I did on ??? how ? there could be a ? secret ?? camera ? in the smoke ??? detector? I few months ago I saw a ??? movie ??? about that. It was pretty good ???. Maybe I'd seen it before, and that's where I got the idea ???. I forgot it's name. Well...I DO have ??? a ??? special treat for you weirdos who ? apparantly like ? wasting time ⌚⌚⌚! Today, in my (Honors) English ?? class, we did group ? work ?. My group ???...well...we either went hysterical or crazy, I can't decide which. We had to do an essay on ??? a ? book ???. There was a ?? sample essay online. It sucked. It tooked about envelooping (enveloping) cracked nuts and parables. So we were already off to a ?? bad ? start ??. Here ?? is ? the sum total of my group ???'s work ??. (Note ???: I wrote virtually none of this ⬆, so I cannot be blamed, credited with any of this ⬆. "Lots of death ⚰⚰, lots and lots of death ⚰⚰ in this ⬆ section. Death ⚰⚰⚰ is ? like ??? life ? in that after you die ⚰⚰ some things start ? life ? again inside of you. 'Ah the power ? of cheese ?!' The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death ⚰⚰⚰ in the same sentence. 'I found nothing ? else to do but to offer him on ??? of my good ??? Swede's ship ??'s biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD ??? in English ??! We KNEW how ? terrible it was, but we just didn't bother to change it. Especially the part about the biscuits and cheese ?. We just picked random ? words ?? in the selection and wrote about them. It was sad ??. In any case, I hope ??? you enjoyed our patheticness. Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. Today I will be mercifully brief. I am here ?? to bring AWARNESS to your moosey soul! Right ▶▶▶ now, while you are sitting in your "chair" and eating your "junk food ??", millions of almonds are commiting suicide. Yes ???...that's right ▶▶▶...suicide. I was alerted to this ⬆ growing problem ⚠⚠⚠ in our world ?? community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is ? almondy)...and it greatly concerns me. People ?? just don't realize that their almonds and mixed nuts may be having depression and other problems. We need to act now! For more ➕➕ information ???, e-mail ??? EnpuUnknown@msn.com Well...seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ so very, very tired ?. Today was Halloween ??. I worked for four 4⃣4⃣ hours at the "Library ??? of Terror" sponsered by TAB. TAB members got pizza ???...lots of pizza ???...and candy ?. Ugh. It was fun ???, but exhausting. I was almost completly covered in (fake) blood ?...it was sticky toward the end ??. One 1⃣1⃣ guy ?? was a ?? "shock therepy" patient...he was a ?? good ??? actor. He acted like ? he was really being tortured and stuff. I'm ⓂⓂ tired ???. I bet ??? you couldn't tell. Why ? am I writing ???? Because this ⬆ is ? the first time ⌚⌚⌚ I've ?????? been on ?? a ? computer ?? all day. You can't blame me. Don't worry, I'll go to bed ??? soon ???. In the mean ??? time ⌚⌚⌚, I'll just sit ??? here ?? and type ⌨ with my eyes ??? closed. It's hard to type ⌨ because of the bandaid on ??? my finger ???. I accidently cut ✂✂ it with scizzors. It hurt. The fake blood ??? seeped into the open wound. Gee...I sure hope ??? it wasn't poisonous. If so, I guess I won't be writing ?? here ?? for quite awhile...seeya. Okay ???, this ⬆ next ⏭ rant has nothing ??? to do whatsoever with Halloween ?...which is ? to be expected because it's been several days since then. Anyway, today's rant is ? about one 1⃣1⃣ of my many and various pet ??? peeves: fasion and...stuff. My definition of fasion includes clothes ?, shoes ???, jewelery and all things of that nature ??. Now, don't get ? me wrong. I can appreciate a ? spiffy black outfit as much as the next ⏭ person ???, but everytime I consider actually buying clothes ?? for aesthetic ? value, I think about how ? I could better spend my money ???. On ? video ??? games. Sure, some of this ⬆ "fasion" stuff is ? cool ? and all, but all it shows is ? that you had the three 3⃣3⃣3⃣ and three 3⃣-quarters brain cells required to copy someone else's "look ?". And don't even get ?? me started on ? earrings. My little, eviler sister got her ears pierced when she was relativly younger. My mom ??? did it to her because it was free ??. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE ???! Just like ? thos so called "diet supplements" that give you a ?? "free ??" sample because they know that once you try it, you'll like ??? it so much you'll spend oodles of cash ??? on ??? it. (There's probably drugs ?? in it). Anyway, like ? the "diet supplement" people ??, the earring manufacturers KNOW that once they pierce you, you'll be hooked for life ?. *pauses* *groans* I'm ⓂⓂ sorry ??? for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). AS soon ?? as you're pierced, you have ? to buy ? "starter" earrings. Then you'll need an "extra" pair ?...for special occasions. Before you know it you'll realize that you need Christmas ❄ earrings, Halloween ?? earrings, Valentine's Day earrings, St ??. Patrick's Day earrings, for crying out ?? loud ???! You'll wear these "festive" earings for about a ? day and then abandon ?? them in some dark ??? cranny of your closet because you simply can't wear the same earrings two ✌✌✌ years in a ? row for heaven ??'s sake ???! Then you'll see ??? these cute little "days-of-the-week" earrings at the mall ???, and you'll just have ? to get ?? a ??? few sets, just in case you lose some. By the time ⌚ you're eighty, you'll have ?? enough ear ?? jewelry ?? to open up ?? your own jewelry ??? shop. Of course, you won't want to do that becuase you still need more ➕➕ earrings so people ?? won't think you wear the same ones over and over again. When I think of how ? much money ? people ??? WASTE on ?? appearences, it makes me feel like ? projectile vomiting. If that's not a ?? vast conspiracy, then nothing ??? on ??? this ⬆ Earth ? is ?. Now, I'm ⓂⓂ not speaking from personal experience here ??. No ??? one 1⃣1⃣ I know is ? that obsessed with earrings, it was just an example. (Although my mother ?? does have ??? a ?? "earring tree ?".) Sure, certain members of my family ? do pay WAY ↕ to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. I, being weird ??, am pretty much immune to such expectations. Except those specially formulated for weird ??-o ⭕⭕'s like ?? me. If I were to suddenly convert ➡ this ⬆ entrie site into a ??? *shudders* Backstreet Boys ??? fan site or something, you wouldn't be any more ➕ suprised than I would be if my brother woke up ?? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ day and suddenly realized that he's shallow. It's the same concept. (No ???, I don't like ?? any of those creepy ?? "pop" stars ✨✨✨. I think that they should routinly die ⚰⚰ a ? slow ??, savage, agonizing death ⚰⚰⚰...I was just saying a ?? random ? thing that I would never, ever do.) Well...any way ↕↕...seeya! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. And today's rant is ? a ??? sort of philosophical one 1⃣1⃣1⃣. It's about the (supposedly) infinite nature ?? of the universe. Suprised? It's spiffy. You see ??, if the universe is ? indeed infinite, that means that literally EVERYTHING is ? possible, and in fact, is ? happening somewhere in the universe. Think about it. No ?? matter how ? unlikely something is ?, if the universe is ? infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. Think about that old ? saying about "If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, eventually they would reproduce the entire works of Shakespear". That makes complete and total sense! Anyone just randomly typing letters will eventually accidently write ? a ??? word, right ▶▶? Now think of 100 ??? people ??? typing randomly. You figure that one 1⃣ of those 100 ?? people ? would actually have ?? a ?? coherent phrase. And one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ out ?? of a ?? million people ??? would probably have ??? a ??? few sentences. So if you have ?? an infinite number of people ??, some are going to have ??? entire books ?? of coherent stuff. And, you have ??? to remember that because infinity is ? infinite, you can divide ?? it an infinite number of times. Try it. If you have ??? a ? decent graphing calculator, plug in the infinity symbol #⃣#⃣ divided by anything, (even infinity). The answer ✅✅✅ is ? still infinity. Using my philosopy, that EVERYTHING exists because the universe is ? infinite...well...think about it. In some far off world ???, there are pokemon...there are an evil ? race ? of muffin like ?? creatures, there is ? a ?? world ?? with ABSOLUTLY NO ??? COMMERCIALS DURING TELEVISION ??! I know, unlikely, huh ??? But somewhere, it exists. Think about it. If the universe is ? infinite it would be crazy to think that we're alone. With an infinite universe, there are infinite possibilites. There ARE aliens. Not only that, but there are an infinite number of different kinds of intelligent life ?. Which means that there are an infinite number of worlds with humanoid life ?. (Think of the fake-looking Star ⭐⭐⭐ Trek aliens). If there are an infinte number of worlds with human ?? life ?, than there are an infinte number of worlds that have ?? someone exactly like ??? you, with only a ? few key ??? differences. (Like ?? alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is ? a ??? world ?? where you are the creator of this ⬆ Longest Text ? Ever. There is ? a ?? world ? where you are a ?? faerie. There is ? a ??? world ??? where you were never born ???. There is ? a ??? world ? where you are a ??? slave to your TOASTER OVEN. The possibilities are literally endless. Every fantasy the human ?? mind has concieved exist at some place ??? in the universe. There are an infinite number of worlds with Harry Potter. Think about it. I came up ?? with this ⬆ philosophy when I was in fifth grade. I'd tell it to my little brother as a ?? bed ??? time ⌚⌚ story. He always ? enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. That made him happy ??. He ignored the fact that he was also a ??? 72 year old ??? "sanitation engineer" somewhere. All the good ??? possibilities effectivly cancel ❌❌❌ out ?? the bad ?? ones, leaving the sum total of you and your counterparts experiences as nothing ?. You don't have ?? the best life ? of your counterparts, but you don't have ??? the worst either. Because that would be impossible. There is ? always ? someone worse off and better off than you. Because there are an infinite number of people ? on ? either side of the spectrum. Confusing, huh ??? But that's the kind of thing I like ??. That also explains why ? normal stuff confuses me. I'm ⓂⓂ sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrong...but how ?? How ? do you PROVE something is ? not infinite? You'd have ?? to find ?? the end ???, of course. But how ?, may I ask, can you find ? the end ? of the FREAKIN' universe? What ?, is ? there a ?? giant sign ⛎ saying, "DEAD ??? END ???"? The universe is ? EVERYTHING, how ? can it end ?? At the same time ⌚⌚, how ? can you prove something IS ? infinite? You could travel ??? in a ?? straight line 〰〰〰 at the speed ??? of light ??? for a ? million years and all you'd prove is ? that the universe is ? really, really big. But you'd never prove it was infinite. How ? could you? Our mind's cannot conceive of the vastness of infinity. We'd probably go crazier. In any case, my theory means that playing video ?? games is ? very cruel. Why ?, you ask? Because in some world ??, the video ? game ? is ? real. So when you kill ??, or whatever, in the game ???, you are actually ending life ? somewhere in the universe. Of course, you also end ??? life ? by sneezing, eating, sleeping ??, and watching T.V ✌✌. According to my theory that everything is ? real. Of course, if everything is ? real...then the Universe is ? pretty contradictory. The paradox of my system of beliefs leads me to believe that the universe, in fact, is ? not infinite. Because nature ?? supposidly abhors a ? paradox. Although, as I said, there's no ?? way ↕ to prove me wrong OR right ▶▶▶. That's what ? I like ?? about making abstract theories... Anyway, sorry ??? for the lack of relative weirdness, conspiracy theories and doughnuts (my Moose ate them all). Well...now that I think about it...according to my theory, ALL conspiracies are real and mislabled "paranoid" people ??? are really the only ones who ? see ?? the truth. *blinks* Wow ??...so I'm ⓂⓂ NOT paranoid. Who ?'da thought it? Well...better go before one 1⃣1⃣ of my two ✌✌ and half sane readers falls asleep:) Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅! Boy ?, are you mythical, mystical ??? readers in for a ?? treat, today! I have ? a ??? guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who ? is ? once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet ??). Are you ready? No ?? Too Bad ???! The magic ??? eight 8⃣8⃣-ball glows with knowledge ???! With a ??? shake, the future ??? is ? revealed! The magic ?? eight 8⃣8⃣8⃣-ball is ? a ? plastic casing with an unknown, possibly toxic liquid ? inside. The future ??? is ? determined by the triangles, in a ? startling blue ? color which spin ??? around in a ??? zany manner. Wheather you're saved or doomed, find ??? out ?? now! Is ? that old ?? lady ??? on ?? the street corner really an ex-convict? Is ? fat-free ??? food ?? more ➕➕ delicious than food ??? loaded with fat? Is ? your school ??? playground ?? a ??? gateay to the underworld? All this ⬆ information ??? and more ➕➕ is ? yours for the low, low price ? of 5 payments of $29.99! And, if you call within the next ⏭ ten minutes you get ?? a ??? free ?? eight 8⃣8⃣ ball with the one 1⃣ you buy ?! But wait ???! There's more ➕! Get ?? the free ?? Lil' Ball for your traveling needs! Warning ??: this ⬆ product is ? illegal in most states) Wasn't that entertaining? "Meg" wrote it for a ??? school ? assignment. We were supposed to write ? about a ??? cherished child ???-hood toy ???, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a ?? commercial. I wrote about furby, and how ? it was fun ? to watch ??? it die ⚰⚰⚰. No ?, really. Somehow, I managed to make my furby die ⚰⚰⚰. It would sneeze, then start ??? it's eight 8⃣-hour-long death ⚰ hum. It would hum, and hum, and hum...and then mercifully die ⚰⚰⚰. I don't exactly have ?? a ?? good ??? track record ??? with virtual pets. I once...*embarassed pause ⏸* had "Hey, You! Pikachu!"...a ?? pokemon game ???. I'll only say that it was the first game ??? you could "talk ?" to and was the first (and only) N64 virtual pet ??. Pikachu...well...he didn't like ??? me. I gave him cupcakes, and presents, and did everything I could to befriend him! And what ? did he do to me? He snuck up ??? on ?? me one 1⃣1⃣ day in our room (in the game ???) with a ?? sword! That's right ▶, a ??? sword! He tried to kill ?? me! I heard something and turned around, and there he was! He even tried to hide the sword behind his back ⬅! When I tried to talk ? to him, he tossed it away nonchalantly and pretended he hadn't heard me. Then he preceeded to trash ??? my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. I'm ⓂⓂ pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ??? ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). That dirty little rat ?. Awwww...isn't he cute? Hmmmm...I suppose I should clarify that the Pikachu game ??? was 3-D and your character was in first person ?? mode(you see ??? through character's eyes ??). Otherwise you'd think I was delusional, or something. Everyone I know who ? has played that game ?? is ? shocked when I tell them...oh, well. Speaking of virtual pets, I'm Ⓜ revamping the ones on ? this ⬆ site. I've ???? finnally figured out ?? sorta, maybe, kinda, how ? to do stuff to make it more ➕➕➕ real. Anyway, seeya! OOooooo! I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅, and I had yet another Asparagus War with some people ???. We made a ??? guild, and I wrote out ?? the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here ?? to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! Oh, and all those weird ? squiggly lines and symbols ?, those are supposed to be apostrophes, but neopet's code is ? weird ??, and I'm Ⓜ not gonna bother to edit it. Enjoy!
And, on ??? the 15th day of the Month ?? of August, in the year of our Lord ? 2003, at approximately 7:52 p.m ⓂⓂⓂ. a ??? great ?????? and wondrous battle was fought in the waste lands of the General Chat Room. ‘Lo, and eon337 did wield the mighty Swiss-Asparagus, and did attempt to vanquish her foe, the Evil ??? and Fluffy preggypreggy. Preggypreggy had tamed the fearsome Asparagus Sword, and many a ? foe had she slain with her valor. But behold! For the Swiss-Asparagus did slice, and dice ? and was capable of turning itself into julienne fries ???! And so it seemed that the two ✌ mighty warriors were evenly matched and that their struggle would never come to and end ?. They didst charge at each other with a ?? terrible noise ? and clamor, and the skies did shake and the earth ??? did tremble at the ferocity of their mighty blows! The stereotypical Asparagus Sword didst fail ??? to hit ?? its mark ??? and eon337 did mock the Sword for it’s falling.

Translation: On ?? 8-15-03, 7:52 NST, eon337 and preggypreggy grabbed some Asparagus Themed weapons and fought. They made fun ? of each other’s weapons, and generally kept missing each other every time ⌚⌚⌚ they swung.
And eon337 did think long and ponderous and in so doing converted the puny Swiss-Asparagus into the mighty and powerful toothpick. And the masses did gleam the significance of this ⬆ act and they were awed by the grace and cunning of the wooden speck. And preggypreggy was immune to the verbal slings and arrows of her foe, and refused to be disheartened by eon337’s dishonorable insults. Her claim being that function of a ?? weapon ??? is ? to be put before the ornate form. She endeavored to thwart eon337’s plans to defeat her with the great ?????? and wondrous toothpick. She didst again pummel the air ??? with her sword, but in her enthusiasm her blows didst fall ??? far from their mark ???. And the masses didst cheer for eon337 as she had impressed ??? them greatly and they made the sounds of impressive wonder.
Translation: Eon337 turned a ??? perfectly good ??? Swiss-Asparagus into a ? toothpick to gain the approval of the studio audience. The audience oooed and awed. Preggypreggy continued to swing wildly around, missing each time ⌚⌚⌚. She ignored eon337’s insult and said that at least her sword worked.
And then a ?? new ? challenger didst arrive at the arena and scoobychick6900 didst fling bowls of asparagus at the fighting mortal enemies. Preggypreggy appealed to the masses, but to no ??? avail, and was heartily surprised ?? when the asparagus did hit ??? her. And ‘Lo! The masses didst condemn scoobychick6900 loudly and vehemently and there was much rejoicing in the land. Preggypreggy didst fancy ??? that she had perhaps met scoobychick6900 previously, and so did attempt to recollect when. Eon337 did take advantage of the lull in action and did attack ??? preggypreggy with her finger ???. Preggypreggy did retaliate with the awe-inspiring SuperPoke, and eon337 was laid low upon the ground in agony.
Translation: Scoobychick6900 showed up ??? and threw bowls of asparagus. Eon337 poked preggypreggy, and preggypreggy poked back ⬅⬅⬅, harder. Eon337 was hurt.
And with victory ✌✌✌ in her mighty vision, preggypreggy didst decide to reveal her secret ?? weapon ?, and with a ?? fancy ?? hand ??? movement, revealed the extent of her traitorous ways. For all know that the bagels and the doughnuts didst disband in ancient ??? times of old ???. Preggypreggy, through her treacherous methods, had obtained the Flying Doughnut ??? of Doom and didst endeavor to use it. Eon337 was readily prepared for such an occurrence and didst arm ? herself with mighty ear ?-shields, armor that didst repel all projectiles of metal ?, a ??? head ??? covering, and an outer covering of strange, transparent material that didst snap whence it was squeezed. Aragorns_cutie then didst show ? up ??? with the almighty nemesis broccoli and an unnecessary sneer upon her countenance. _Radical_girl ???_ did break ?? the protocol and didst claim to rather fight with cucumbers, and so it was done. And the masses rejoiced. And eon337 didst not hear ??? the newcomers because of her mighty ear ???-shields, and didst offer the fighters dressings for their wounds.
Translation: Preggypreggy revealed that she had a ? secret ?? weapon ? from Ancient ?? Times, although eon337 was prepared for it, with earmuffs, bulletproof armor, and bubble ? wrap. Two ✌✌✌ new ??? fighters showed up ?? and did random ?? things. Eon337 offered Band-Aids.
And aragorns_cutie didst laugh ??? in a ??? manic way ↕↕↕, and didst wave ??? the broccoli to and fro in a ?? threatening manner. And eon337 did finally recognize the newcomers, and ask, neigh, commanded they give preggypreggy healing strips. And _radical_girl ??_ didst howl furiously and implored the fighters to meet their DOOOOOOOOM. And so hiamplidude didst come to the battle and didst posses the almighty Asparagus Cannon, and did thinkest himself invincible. Following himaplidude camst nemmisis_dude, who ? didst offer the warriors ponderous messages such as: THIS ⬆ TRULY WORKS! POST THIS ⬆ IN 10 ??? DIFFERENT BOARDS AND YOU WILL FIND ??? A ?? BABY ??? PAINTBRUSH WHEN YOU GO TO CHAT PREFERENCE AND 10000000000NPS! THIS ⬆ TRULY WORKS, TRUST ME. And the warriors didst consider nemmisis_dude a ? profit, who ? was devoted to speaking in tongues so as to convey a ?? message ?? from the gods. And ‘Lo! Nemmisis_dude didst reveal his Bow ??? and Asparagus and the masses rejoiced. And eon337 didst intimidate her foes by snapping her transparent covering and shrieking that she was invincible.
Translation: Random ??? stuff happened, and more ➕➕➕ people ?? showed up ??. Someone spammed the message ??? board so people ??? ignored it and eon337 went crazier
And ‘Lo! The writer of this ⬆ cheesy epic didst realize that virtually every sentence begins with “andâ€, and the masses rejoiced. _radical_girl ?_ dids’t chase random ??? people ??? with her broccolis, and didst miss in her mighty swings. Hiamplidude didst take out ?? nemmisis_dude, and gloried in his honor and didst receive a ??? spinach gun ??? from the gods. . Preggypreggy was threatened by the randomness, and didst call her secret ?? weapon ?, the Mighty Evil ??? Flying Donut ? Of Doom! Eon337 realized preggypreggy’s unprecedented treachery and didst cower in her impotence before one 1⃣1⃣ so Dark ?? and Fluffy. And aragorns_cutie had ex-lax and _radical_girl ??_ didst covet invincibility and so did don a ??? pool ??? covering. Nemmisis_dude was revealed to be unharmed by hiamplidude, and didst fire ??? at preggypreggy with an asparagus gun ??. But preggypreggy didst forget one 1⃣1⃣ thing: eon337 still possessed the support of the ignorant masses, which guaranteed her inevitable victory ✌. And preggpreggy scoffed at eon337’s supposed advantage and didst claim that even the ravenous horde of the people ??? didst not conceive of her one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ vulnerable point ??. And preggypreggy didst close her mind to the truth: the dark ??? side is ? fluffy.
Translation: Preggypreggy called the Flying Donut ?? of doom and eon337 called preggypreggy a ? traitor. The newcomers did random ??? tings, and eon337 reminded everyone that she still had the support of the studio audience. Preggypreggy refused to see ? it as an advantage, and refused to believe that she was on ??? the Dark ?, Fluffier Side.
And behold, for eon337 didst transform the Asparagus Toothpick into a ?? Aspara-Launcher and didst call preggypreggy deceived in her way ↕↕↕ of thinking ???, for the Dark ?? Side is ? always ? Fluffier. And preggypreggy didst call forth the creamed cheese ?? from the bowels of the Evil ? Flying Donut ? of Doom and the masses did rejoice, and wallowed in the fattening substances that fell from the air ??? like ?? a ??? gift ??? of mana from the gods. And eon337 didst fire ??? projectiles at preggypreggy and unexpectedly mimicked the holy Matrix in her cries of “Dodge thisâ€. And neoshadow08 didst arrive and inquire as to whether rubber chickens were allowed, and the multitudes said yes ???. Preggypreggy, in her infinite wisdom, failed to see ? the connection ??? between Darkness and Fluffiness, and was so forsaken by the masses. And greyratt didst claim to have ?? invented a ??? new ???, spookier type ⌨ of asparagus that never caught on ?, and the multitudes rejoiced. Preggypreggy didst dodge the projectile, and gained honor amongst the masses. As the theological debate about the Dark ??, Fluffier Side raged on ?, the newcomers fought with the dung of dogs, the chickens of rubber and other such unorthodox weaponry as greyratt didst play ??? with discarded asparagus.
Translation: Some stuff happened here ??. No ??, really! Eon337’s toothpick became an Aspara-Launcher, and preggypreggy and eon337 argued about whether the Dark ? Side was Fluffy or not. Neoshadow08 and greyratt came, and did stuff. Preggypreggy released cream cheese ??? from the Flying Donut ? of Doom.
And eon337 didst revealth that she didst posses the Ultimate Asparagus Themed Weapon ???, too terrible to be named, oh, what ? the heckth, the name didst ring ??? and was The Thermo-Asparagus-Nuclear ☢☢☢-Weapon ???. And preggypreggy didst begin to crack under the strain of the Squeak of Death ⚰⚰, and so in his infinite understanding, neoshadow08 didst remove ❌ the Squeak of Death ⚰⚰⚰ and didst replace it with the Chic Attack ??. Aragorns_cutie didst protest the violence ???, and didst consume the flavorful tomato ? paste. And moonbeam998 didst come, a ? magical priestess full ?? of arcane knowledge ?. Her mighty glance didst fall ??? upon the warriors and she didst proclaim: THIS ⬆ TRULY WORKS! POST THIS ⬆ IN TEN DIFFERENT BOARDS AND YOU WILL FIND ?? A ?? BABY ? PAINTBRUSH WHEN YOU GO TO CHAT PREREFERENCE AND 10000000000NPS! THIS ⬆ TRULY WORKS, TRUST ME! And the warriors were mystified by her meaning, but verily they didst decide that it meant for them to continue ⏩⏩⏩ their holy battle, in the name of whatever great ???? and mysterious god moonbeam998 didst represent. Scoobychick6900 didst return ↪↪ to pummel the warriors with bowels of asparagus, as in times of old ??.
Translation: Eon337 got out ?? the Thermal-Asparagus-Nuclear ☢☢☢-Weapon ??, and neoshadow08 stopped squeaking and started the Chick Attack ???. Yet another person ??? spammed the message ? board, and was equally ignored. Scoobychick6900 returned.
And neoshadow08’s baby ?? chickens didst fall ??? unto the warriors from the sky ?, and didst pummel the brave fighters unmercifully. And scoobychick6900 didst offer to the warriors magical rainbow ? colored pellets, which she didst hurl at them forcefully with a ?? gun ?. The magic ??? pellets were then revealed to be the chicken’s only weakness. And the warriors were locked in a ??? deadly ☠ struggle, each using their unique methods and weapons. And the masses didst rejoice yet again. And then ‘Lo! For preggypreggy was forced to valiantly flee the battlefield, and acceded the victory ✌✌ to eon337. And the masses looked confused ??. Eon337 didst admit that preggypreggy didst fight a ? valiant battle. Skuld815 didst arrive and didst proclaim the battle strange and didst fling M ⓂⓂⓂ & M’s at the warriors. And scoobychick6900 didst proclaim that Rice ??? Krispies were much more ➕➕ powerful than other weapons, and didst think that she was the only warrior left ◀◀◀. She did wail with despair as she didst discover that eon337 remained in the land of the living.
Translation: Neoshadow08 caused chickens to fall ??? from the sky ?, and scoobychick6900 fired skittles at people ??. Preggypreggy had to leave, and skuld815 showed up ??. Scoobychick6900 thought she was the last fighter left ◀◀◀, but was not.
And eon337 and scoobychick6900 were locked in a ? deadly ☠☠☠ struggle, candy ?? versus vegetables. And neoshadow08 didst summon the Great ?????? Banana ??? for advice, and the masses were stunned ??. Oh, the ground did shake, and the mountains trembled. The very stars ✨ became irregular in their rotations. And so the Great ?????? Banana ?? was called, and it was good ???. And scoobychick6900 revealed that she had indeed blasphemed against the Great ?????? Banana ? and she didst quake in terror and attempted to corrupt eon337 into blaspheming as well. And shadow9441414 didst arrive with two ✌✌✌ prodigious asparagus swords. And spicychibie didst arrive and was proven to be crazier than all others, and the masses were impressed ??. Behold! Eon337 didst prostrate herself before the might of the Great ?? Banana ?? and didst beg for his aid in defeating scoobychick6900, and the Great ?????? Banana ??? didst forgive eon337 and giveth her a ??? banana ???. And spicychibie didst partake of the asparagus and didst faint. And the Great ???? Banana ? didst advise eon337 to not rely on ? the strength of others, but to rely on ?? the strength within. And scoobychick6900 didst appeal to the Great ?????? Banana ??? and didst beg for forgiveness. And the Great ?????? Banana ?? didst not make a ?? reply, but instead didst close his eyes ?? and did a ??? perfect ??? mimicry of sleep ???. And scoobychick6900 didst blasphemy again and didst explode ?? bombs of rainbow ?? color. And eon37, in the callow impatience of youth, didst detonate the Thermal-Asparagus-Nuclear ☢-Weapon ???. And the masses were blown ? away. As the smoke ???, and rubble and debris were dissipated, behold! The Great ?? Banana ??? was vanquished! And eon337 didst lament this ⬆ fate, for her weapon ??? hadst been aimed at scoobychick6900. And scoobychick6900 didst revel in the defeat of the Great ?? Banana ???, and didst stab at eon337 with its decapitated stem. And neoshadow08 was forced to choose sides, and ‘Lo he choose eon337! And the warriors didst depart, if not friends, then less ➖ angry ??? enemies. And so ends the first of: The Asparagus Wars Chronicles.
Translation: While eon337 and scoobychick6900 fought, neoshadow08 called the Great ?????? Banana ?. Scoobychick6900 claimed to have ?? eaten the banana ??? the previous ⬅⬅ night ???, and feared the banana’s wrath. The Great ?????? Banana ?? was defeated, and everyone decided that the war was over.
Wasn't that entertaining? Seeya! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅! Woooooooooooo! Guess what ?? Yep! *happy ?? wiggle dance* I gots the first shipment of the much needed (pictures of) supplies for the Official Flaming-Chickens Lunar Colony! Woooooo! I feels the happy ???! This ⬆ has been a ??? short announcment to document the happy ? wigglienss that is ? me. Seeya! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅. And vaguely depressed ??. For the longest time ⌚⌚, random ?? people ?? have ? been coming to my site, and staying 0.00 seconds! How ? is ? this ⬆ possible? Do they not even look ??? at my site? How ? can they be so cruel, to click ???, but not look ??? Grrr.... I asked Santa ??? why ? this ⬆ was so...but he doesn't talk ? to me anymore, after that incident when I was a ?? kid ?. You see ??...*start ??? wavy ? flashback lines and dreamy music ?* When I was a ? kid ?...or whatever...I asked Santa ? for nuclear ☢ warheads, helicopters, tanks...and possibly legions of doom. No ???, seriously! (I was twelve and forced to communicate with Santa ? so that my younger siblings did not guess the truth...(what ? truth?)...there is ? no ??? spoon. (badly done Matrix parody)) Anyway...Santa ?? didn't come through. The creep! How ? was I supposed to conquer the world ??? without those supplies? All I got was a ? Lion King ?? video ??? and other random ??? stuff. How ? did this ⬆ help ? me? I vowed revenge against Santa ???...after all, it would have ?? benefited him to help ? me. Once I was the Undisputed Lord ?? of the Universe, the world ??? would have ? been a ??? spooky ?⚡? place ???. And all the little children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? wouldn't have ??? been "good ???" anymore, since they would be free ??? of thier Authoritarian Parental Units and the definition of "good ???" (to a ? parent, at least) is ? to obey your parents ? and not embarrass them. Soooooo....Santa ??? would have ? had it easier. No ?? "good ???" children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? would have ??? meant that Santa ? could have ??? had a ??? permanent vacation ??? in the Bahahmas, not molested by my Legions of Doom because after all--he had delivered the world ? to me in a ??? brightly wrapped gift ? box ?. The man ??? would have ? been more ➕ trusted than my trusted Lieutenants! (funny ?? word...had to use spell check to spell it ^^;;) But that jolly old ?? IDIOT ? had to mess things up ???. So, to get ??? back ⬅⬅ at him I not only continued to not believe in him, I attempted to convert ➡ all the miniony children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? at my disposal...(okay ?? not really, the idea ??? just occured to me)...so I ask you *cough* Loyal Reader, to immediatly cease believing in Santa ??. I figure that--like ??? Tinkerbell--he will evenutally perish if he doesn't have ? enough people ?? believing in him. What ? is ? this ⬆? You wish ?? to rule the world ?, too? Well, you can't! It's mine! Blasphemy! You dare to challenge MY rule? You are a ??? fool! Okay ???...yeah ?...my whole Santa ??? plot IS ? kinda dumb...but that's just a ??? front so that you never guess my REAL plot! That's right ▶....cower before my power ?! *insert evil ??, insane cackle here ??* I shall defeat you, Anonymous (another tricky word) Reader! Gah! I'd better go before you trace my location ?? thorugh the Internet ??? and send your Governmental Spyders to me! Ooops...I gave you an idea ?, didn't I? Well, don't use it! It's mine, you are a ? copy cat ???! Seeya *appropriate evil ??? glare* I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅! And, seeying as you MUST be tired ? of MY ranting, I have ?? a ? special treat for all you hypothetical two ✌ and a ??? half readers out ?? there! You get ?? ranting from somebody else! I won't bother to introduce them, since they do a ? good ??? job of it themselves...here ?? we go: Hiya. This ⬆ is ? not PSOPC today. This ⬆ is ? PSOCB (Patron Saint ?????? of Carbonated Beverages). We are the two ✌✌ original Head ?? Saints, but for some reason, she gets all the attention. Guess I should get ??? out ?? of bed ? once in a ??? while huh ???. Originally, I thought up ?? the whole Patron Saints of the Order ?? of the Flaming Chicken ?? (when I should have ??? been taking notes ??? in Trig), but PSOPC is ? more ➕➕➕ creative and she elaborated on ?? it more ➕➕ so. I was drawing ??? "suppressed rage ? in bunny ? form" comics then and didn't care. I must say, she's gotten very good ??? at thinking ??? randomy thoughts, whereas, I'm Ⓜ just stoopid and something dumb pops out ?? of my brain like ??? floppy bacon from a ?? toaster. I drank half a ??? bottle ? of soy sauce today just to see ?? if it gave me x ❌❌-ray vision, but alas, I had nothing ?? I wanted to look ??? through (okay ???, I'm Ⓜ lying. I drank the whole thing on ?? a ?? dare.). By the way ↕↕, soy sauce is ? gross. Who ? invented it? --"Why ? gee whiz, Bert! I think we should mix soy beans with water ?? and have ??? chinese ?? for lunch ?!!"--"Why ?, indubitoubly Samson! Not only will it taste like ?? crap, we'll get ? the runs!!!"-- If you don't know what ? the "runs" are, consult old ?? people ???, like ?? my dad ??. If you are in high ??? school ??? or college ?? and have ??? a ??? job, this ⬆ works great ??. When I call in sick ??? (when I'm ⓂⓂ sick ?? of working ?, not actually sick ???), I always ? have ??? nosey bosses who ? want to know exactly what ? my symptoms are and how ? bad ???. I found a ? way ↕↕↕ to make them not WANT to know. I told my sister to try it once and it worked for her too. You just call up ??? work ??, use a ?? very retarded, slow ?, lisping voice when you say this ⬆: --"Weeelllllllll, I woked up ?? this ⬆ mornin' with a ??? terrible headache so I took some aspirin with theraflu. By the way ↕↕↕, those don't mix too good ???, now I have ??? a ? tummy ache, my nose ?? is ? runny and bleedin', my spleen feels like ? its gonna 'splode, I'm ⓂⓂ a ?? tad gassy, and I got the RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!-- At this ⬆ point ???, you'll want to use an annoying high ???-pitched growly voice (think drunk ??? Barney from The Simpsons after sucking helium balloons), raspberry a ??? few times with your toungue and hang up ???. I have ? much to do now, so thus ends this ⬆ portion of my guest rant. I'll probably want to do this ⬆ a ??? few more ➕➕ times just because I can. Weeee Bye now! I bet ?? you, loyal *hmmm ?...I don't want a ??? cricket ?...maybe a ?? nice annoying gnat or something...okay ?...instead of the cricket ???...* readers can't wait ? for the next ⏭⏭⏭ time ⌚ I don't rant! Right ▶▶? Weeeellll...I DO have ??? a ??? topic for today...a ?? topic so wonderful that it will also be included in the next ⏭ OFCEM! What ? is ? this ⬆ magical topic, you ask? Why ?, opposite day, of course! You see ???...er ??????...well...how ? should I begin? Opposite day is ?, of course a ?? day in which everything you say means the exact opposite. It is ? practiced (informally) by many elementary schoolers. I honor this ⬆ er ??????...honored tradition. But, to my dismay, I discovered a ? fatal flaw with opposite day. By my reasoning...it COULD NOT EXIST! Yes ???...I know...blasphemy, right ▶▶▶? But it could not be disputed. If you were to tell someone that it WAS opposite day they would have ?? to take the opposite of what ? you just said which would mean ?? that it WASN'T opposite day. And, of course, if you were to tell someone that it WASN'T opposite day there would be no ?? reason for them to take the opposite of what ? you said and so it still WOULDN'T be opposite day! Confusing, huh ??? But I have ? now seen the light ?! The answer ✅✅✅ to this ⬆ moral dilema has been so neatly resolved, by Jesse. He is ? er ????...well...I'm ⓂⓂ not sure how ? old ???...but he is ? in the third grade. He is ? either a ??? genius...or really weird ? like ?? me (Come on ??, be honest...how ? many of you random ?? people ? have ? put any though into opposite day...or even know about it?) He said that to make it opposite day...*dramatic pause ⏸⏸⏸ in which the PSOPC stares into space ??? vacantly*...all you had to do was say that it would be opposite day in 5 seconds! PURE GENIUS! Since it is ? not yet opposite day, you don't have ?? to take the opposite of the statement and so can take it at face ??? value! Do you care, Loyal *gnat/cricket ? sound ??* Reader? *stunned ???* You don't!? Why ? ever not!? It is ? the most important discovery since...since...er ????...since...GRAVITY! (Although it is ? evil ?? and squishying my spine...) How ? can you remain apathatic at a ??? time ⌚⌚ like ? this ⬆!? The fate of mankind has been forever altered! Oh. Yeah ?...I guess you are right ▶. I AM just rambling so that this ⬆ Longest Text ? Ever gets even longer. But I DO care about this ⬆ topic. There's not even a ? conspiracy! Well..fine! Be that way ↕↕! Goodbye ??! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅ *twitch* and seriously annoyed ??. Grrr...time ⌚⌚⌚ to yet again complain about my *twitch* evil ?? family ??. It is ? once again the time ⌚⌚⌚ of year that makes entire families bond together...in the same sense that cats ??? and dogs bond together when they have ??? rabies. The time ⌚⌚⌚...is ? science ⚗⚗ fair time ⌚⌚⌚. My younger, eviler sister does a ? science ⚗⚗⚗ project every single year. *twitch* The concept of science ⚗⚗⚗ projects strikes fear in my mother ??'s heart ❤. She can not stand them. Naturally, this ⬆ is ? why ? she takes over the project and does it for my little sister. Unfortunatly, this ⬆ means that I am often called on ??? for my "consultant" abilities. *twitch* In other words ???, I do the experiment ⚗, and think of all the results, and the wording of everything. I then interpret my work ??? for my mother ???, who ? writes everything down ⬇⬇ because she has really, really obsessivly neat handwritting. Of course, my mother ?? gets stressed merely handling paper ? that will potentionally be USED for a ?? science ⚗ project, so this ⬆ is ? a ? very, very negative situation. Oh, and my mother ?? refuses to even entertain the notion that my little sister might possibly be of help ? *twitch*. At this ⬆ very moment my little sister is ? watching a ??? Disney movie ???, while complaining of a ?? headache. *twitch* My mother ??? is ? getting more ➕➕➕ and more ➕➕ aggravated as I try to explain that my sister might fail ??? if it looks like ??? she didn't do the project. I am currently on ?? strike. I refuse to assist this ⬆ project in any further way ↕↕ untill my little sister does freakin' SOMETHING. Wow ?. Speak of the devil ??. My sister IS ? doing something. She is ? RE-WRITING ?? everything my mother ?? just wrote. Like ?? mother ??? like ??? daughter. *twitch* I guess this ⬆ is ? my mother ?'s way ↕↕ to make sure the judges don't know that my sister didn't do the project. My mother ??? makes my sister redo everything over and over again because it's not perfect ?? enough for her. Now she is ? the one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ who ?'s getting yelled at. I guess I can't help ? but feel sorry ??? for my evil ? sister. *pauses* I guess I'll stop ✋ complaining, then. God...I have ?? a ?? headache...seeya. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. *shakes head ???* And I have ? (yet again) a ? rant about the sheer weirdness of my family ??. Previously I have ??? ranted about our fun ??-filled family ??? outing to a ??? bar ???, and about my non-gender ??? specific siblings obsession with dead ?? animals. Somehow, these two ✌✌✌ occurances have ?? joined in an unholy union ?? to create ?: The Roadkill Sightseeing Event ??? of Doom! We actually went to a ?? normal resteraunt for dinner ???, believe it or not. On ? the way ↕↕↕ back ⬅, my mother ? entertained us with the story of how ? she had seen roadkill that looked exactly like ??? a ?? dead ?? bear ?. She had later compared notes ??? with one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ of her wacko friends and they had decided that it was, in fact, a ?? dead ??? wild ?? boar ??. We would be passing by it in a ??? few minutes. Oh joy ??. My non-gender ?? specific sibling (henceforth known as my sister) was naturally estatic about these events. She wanted to get ??? out ?? and see ?? the boar ??. My mother ? agreed, and wanted my Dad ??? to turn the car ? around so we could go to Wal-Mart to buy ? a ?? flash-light ??. My father ? refused this ⬆. We ended up ??? driving ?? right ▶▶ past the supposed location ? of the boar ???, much to the dismay of my sister and mother ??...and dare I say it? Yes ??...I dare. My BROTHER was even interested. Faced with direct mutiny from all but me, my father ??? wisely elected to turn the car ? around. We drove off the road ? and my dad ??? aimed the car ? headlights at the boar ??. I must say, it wasn't that impressive. It was just a ??? lump of black hair ???, and it was a ?? lot smaller than any bear ?. My sister was impressed ??, and it was all I could do to keep her from jumping out ?? of the car ? to it. My mother ??? was disappointed ???, saying that the boar ?? had seemed bigger in the daylight. My dad ??? moved the car ??? back ⬅⬅ and forth, so that we could see ??? the boar ?? on ??? the side of the road ??? more ➕ clearly. My mother ? became terrified ??? and decided that we would flip and die ⚰. All to see ?? a ?? boar ???. After a ??? few minutes, we drove away. My mother ??? seemed upset ?? that I had not been interested in her roadkill. I can't help ? but feel cheated. Normal families go to museums and theme parks for amusement. We view ?? dead ?? animals. There is ? something just SLIGHTLY wrong with this ⬆. It reminds me of the time ⌚⌚⌚ a ? few weeks ago when my mother ? swore up ?? and down ⬇⬇ that she saw a ?? grave by the side of the road ?. This ⬆ bothered her for some time ⌚⌚ untill one 1⃣1⃣ day she finally pulled over to the side of the road ?? and exhumed the shallow grave and discovered that it was actually a ?? deer. Luckily, I was not with her this ⬆ day. However, she never leaves ??? any member of our family ??? in the dark ??? concerning roadkill. It's just strange. Anyway, that's the rant for today, seeying as how ? there was actually a ??? topic. Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅! Seeing how ? I will shortly no ? longer be (legally) a ??? child ??, I have ??? decided to rant about: adults. You cannot deny ❎❎ it. They are EVIL ??. Think about it! Come, on ???! Don't be shy ?! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ serious ???. When you think of the evil ??, conniving, conspiratorial ways of adults, what ?'s the first thing to come to mind? The nursery rhyme, 'Mary Had a ??? Little Lamb', right ▶▶? Huh ???? You mean ??? it's NOT!? How ?...bizzare, it's obviously a ??? mechanism for brain-washing. Anyway, here ??'s MY reasoning for hating the song (and many, many others). Mary Had A ??? Little Lamb makes children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? resigned to accepting punishment that they don't deserve! You still do not see ???!? Fine, I shall elaborate. This ⬆ poor little girl ???'s lamb (with fleece as white as snow ??--an obvious reference to seeming purity) follows her to school ? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ day (which was, oddly enough, against the rules ???). The kids ??? at school ??, who ? were not used to seeing a ?? lamb at school ???, started to "laugh ??? and play ?" and basically act like ?? wild ? animals. Now (this ⬆ is ? all speculation) I am 90% sure that the final verse (which neither I, nor anyone I asked know) deals with the teacher reprimanding poor little Mary in some way ↕↕. And for what ?!? The kid ?'s pet ??? followed her to school ??! How ? could she stop ✋✋ it, she probably never even thought to look ?? behind her! Not only that, but poor little Mary would never, EVER do such a ?? thing on ? purpose! Just listen ?? to the SONG for cryin' out ?? loud ???! The lamb followed HER! She didn't LEAD it! Now, sure, the teacher was probably on ?? her last nerve. I mean ??, she's an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ? TEACHER. She probably doesn't get ??? paid much, or gain much respect from her pupils. So, when the children ?‍?‍?‍? pretty much went wild ? over the lamb, and she couldn't calm them, she was looking for someone to blame. And poor little Mary was a ? ripe target ? by then. Now, can you honestly picture poor little Mary arguing with her teacher? I didn't think so! Little Mary took her punishment, and her PARENTS ?? were probably so upset ??? that they got rid of her white little lamb. And for what ?!? A ? teacher's misbegotten pride ??? Adult supremecy? I ask you, knowing what ? you know now, could you (in good ??? faith) read ??? this ⬆ to a ? young child ??? (implicitly teaching them that it's best not to argue, to simply lie down ⬇⬇ and let those older than you walk all over you--for "your own good ???")? And another thing! You know the lullaby, 'Rock ??? A ???'Bye Baby ???', the one 1⃣ about the baby ??? in the tree ??!? What ? kind of SICKO wrote it!? This ⬆ poor baby ?? is ? up ??? in a ?? tree ??? (not the safest of places) in the middle of a ??? freakin' HURICANE! At the end ??? of the freakin' song, the freakin' BRANCH ? BREAKS and the baby ? falls, "cradel and all" (presumably to its death ⚰). What ? about Hanzel and Gretel? It's nothing ?? more ➕➕➕ than a ??? huge threat! "Now, be good ??? or we'll send you out ?? into the woods to be eaten by the witch." What ? kind of twisted person ? does that to children ?‍?‍?‍?? Ring ?? Around the Rosy? It's a ??? song about the Black Plague, the deadliest plague in mankind's history ?! When you first got it, you'd get ?? a ? red ??? spot with a ??? ring ?? around it (Ring ? around the rosy). During this ⬆ time ⌚, people ??? (mistakenly) thought that stench spread sickeness, so they'd keep "pockets full ?? of posies" to ward of the stench of death ⚰ around them. "Ashes ⚱, Ashes ⚱⚱" was originall "Achoo-Achoo", because the dying would be particularly susceptable to colds. "We all fall ? down ⬇⬇"? That's an easy one 1⃣1⃣1⃣. We fall ??? down ⬇⬇ dead ???. So, it's obvious that adults don't exactly sugar-coat everything they teach ??? to children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍?. I'm ⓂⓂ sure I can find ? more ➕➕➕ horribly EVIL ??? examples, but I simply don't have ??? the time ⌚⌚⌚. Now, granted, there are SOME (but not many) children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍?'s stories that are beneficial. Like ??? Snow ?? White, or Cinderlla. Those stories teach ? children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? to think for themselves, and occasionally completly ignore the adults around them (as long as they are Evil ? Step-Parents ???). Well...I'd better go. *blinks* I wrote a ?? lot today. I suppose I should write ??? other stuff...but...well...I figure you need the break ?? to recover your sanity...*snort* Like ??? you could do THAT! Seeya! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅! As I am writing ? this ⬆, I am in the process of adding a ??? navigation bar ??? to the Longest Text ? Ever. It still is ? as chaotic as ever, but at least this ⬆ way ↕ people ?? can find ?? certain stuff easier. Like ??? the Official Flaming-Chickens Lunar Colony info ???. Anyway, that's about all I have ??? to say right ▶▶ now. Seeya! Gah! Fellow Flaming-Chickens, you must see ?? the sheer cool ??? paranoid thinking ??? I have ??? found! Wal-Mart is ? EVIL ??! A ?? person ?? (besides me) thinks this ⬆! Isn't that cool ???!? There is ? even a ??? section on ??? Wal-Mart Subliminal T.V ✌✌✌. (tupperware, anyone?)! Anyway, this ⬆ has been a ??? short public ?? service ?? annoucement. As opposed to one 1⃣ of those long public ? service ??? announcments that keep on ?? going and going and going. I mean ???, they just never seem to stop ✋, do they? Just when you think they are finally going to run out ?? of steam, they just charge on ?? and on ?. It's like ??? torture, or something. Don't those kind of people ?? realize that if they public ? REALLY cared about the topic, they'd do their own durn research, instead of listening to some self-important moron lecture them about how ? socially-irresponsible they are? Not that I'm ⓂⓂⓂ trying to prove a ??? point ?. Quite the contrary: I am merely extending the lenght of this ⬆ Longest Text ? Ever to provide an ironic example of self-important morons who ? just won't stop ✋✋ talking. Isn't it entertaining? Don't you just want to here ?? my entire life ?'s story, starting from age 2? You don't? Well...perhaps I really SHOULD leave...what ? do you think? Er ??????...well...seeya! Yep. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅. *traumatic pause ⏸⏸* This ⬆ weekend I went to go visit my future ?? college ???. It was the most traumatizing experience of my life ?, to date ???. The day before I got there the college ??? had won a ??? basketball ?? game ?? and were going to the finals. This ⬆ naturally caused parties to break ?? out ?? all over campus. According to one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ guy ???, a ?? couch was "set on ??? fire ???". *sigh* I was "hosted" (along with two ✌ other girls ?) by some bubbly, perky Greek (sorority (sp?)) girl ???. I hate ??? her so much. She never shut up ??. She was so shallow. She wanted us to join ??? a ??? sorority, just like ?? her. (all paraphrased) Ex. 1 "I would NEVER have ??? passed my classes if I hadn't gone Greek". Ex. 2 "I just don't see ??? HOW ? I would have ???, like ???, ya' know, managed ANYTHING without my sisters!" If I never see ?? her again it will be too soon ???. Her idea ? of entertainment was to take us to the recreational center, sit ??? us down ⬇⬇ in the gym and talk ??? to her friends while watching the guys (badly, this ⬆ IS ? an engineering school ?? after all) attempt to play ?? basketball ??. Apparantly all the decent players were at the final game ? thingy. Then she took us to the fraternity next ⏭⏭⏭ to her house ??? (we didn't even get ??? to "experience" sleeping ??? in an actual dorm). The fraternity was disgusting. There must have ??? been 1000 flies, 100 ??? beer ?? bottles, 50 Bud Lite cans, and 5 creepy ? dudes who ? were attempting to practice music ?? for some competition ??. After about three 3⃣3⃣3⃣ hours of this ⬆, I almost snapped. Me and another girl ? were supposed to be watching T.V ✌✌., but due to the evil ???, out ?? of tune, incredibly loud ??? band, this ⬆ proved to be impossible. My "host" and the girl ?? who ? was enthusiastic about "going Greek" were swimming ?? in a ?? heated pool ?. The other girl ??? (who ? also hated to swimn) and I started to talk ??. There was nothing ??? else really to do. She hated our host and hated the fraternity/Greek thing too. We talked for awhile, and some dude joined us. He was cool ???. He was regional STAR ⭐⭐ student ??? for another area. Somehow we got onto the topic of religion ⛪⛪, and it turned out ?? that the other girl ?? I was with was Muslim, and was born ??? in Egypt ??????. It was cool ??. Anyway, it was just the two ✌✌✌ of us girls ?? in the entire FREAKIN' fraternity (not counting the two ✌ swiming girls ???, downstairs. The floor was greasy, and oddly sticky--just like ??? a ?? movie ?? theater ?. When our "host" finnally said we could go, it was close to 2 a ??.m ⓂⓂ. I barely got any sleep ??...grrr...not to mention the fact that we had walk to breakfast ?? by 8:00 a ??.m ⓂⓂ. Oh. Silly ??? me. I forgot to mention a ??? key ??? difficulty. We had to WALK EVERYWHERE! Uphill! (But not in the freezing snow ??, for 15 miles). You have ??? not experinced Jenny's personal Hell untill you have ??? carried your luggage (including a ?? trash ?? bag ??? containing a ?? sleeping ? back ⬅⬅⬅ and the trash ??? bags plastic handley-thingies are rapidly stretching out ?? to become lethal weapons similar to piano ??? wire) uphill, upstairs, across campus and up ??? the four 4⃣4⃣ or five 5⃣5⃣ flights to the breakfast ??? area, only to discover that, Oh! Gee, there was an ELEVATOR that the "host" conviently forgot to mention. Even more ➕➕➕ evil ?? stuff happened, but suffice it to say that when I finally saw my dad ??? at lunch ???, I begged him to just skip the final sessions because they were pointless (how ? to choose your major) and go home ??. He went ahead with his sessions, but let me opt out ?? of mine and I slept for 50 minutes on ?? some random ??? couch in the lobby. Oh. And then the 6 hour drive home ??. *shudders* As you can tell, I am still seriously miffed about the whole experience. Sorry ??? for ranting... Well...there WAS some good ??? things about the whole experience. For one 1⃣ thing, it was the first time ⌚⌚⌚ I'd ever been in a ? big city ???. The sky ? line 〰〰〰 was beautiful! Er ??????...yeah ?...that was about it. Did I mention the uphill walking ?? part? I did? Oh. Well. Then. I guess I'm ⓂⓂⓂ done. Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅! And I'm ⓂⓂⓂ here ?? with a ?? Vital Public ?? Service ?? Anouncment for all of my two ✌ and a ? half Loyal, Hypothetical Readers! Don't you feel all special inside? Oh. Yeah ?. The anouncment. BEWARE OF YOUR OWN FRENCH ?? FRIES ???. That's correct. French ?? fries ??. You see ??, it all started one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ friday afternoon ?? *start ?? wavy ? flashback sequence* My friends and I were sitting down ⬇⬇ to a ?? tasty lunch ?? of Skool Brand ™™ food ???. This ⬆ included, tragically, french ???? fries ??. Oh, what ? a ?? fateful day. It seems like ? it was only yesterday when we were so carefree and innocent ???...when in fact it was actually only a ??? few hours ago. You see ???, we inadvertantly started a ?? mini-food ?? fight that spilled over into a ?? neighboring table, which also housed our friends. Said friends began flingning the aformentioned French ???? Fries ? at us. I shudder to think of how ? we had laughed and frolicked and otherwise remained oblivious to the tragedy that had yet to unfold. For, you see ??...the french ?????? fires were...pointy...and hard. And Fate herself seemed to conspire against us (just like ?? the Skool, government, evil ? cartoon owl, etc.) One 1⃣1⃣1⃣ single solitary french ?? fry pierced my friend ???'s guard and hit ??? her on ?? the nose ?? with the sharpest, hardest tip a ??? french ?????? fry has ever been known to produce. We calmed down ⬇⬇, and thought nothing ??? of our near brush with Death ⚰⚰. After all, what ? can a ??? FREAKIN' FRENCH ???? FRY do, right ▶▶? Ahhh...to be so young and naive again. Time ⌚⌚ passed, as it always ? does, and "Meg" noticed a ? speck of something on ??? our friend ??? who ? had been hit ??? by the projectile french ???? fry. The friend ??? (Tonileigh, actually) wiped the speck, only to discover that it was blood ?. THE FRENCH ?????? FRY HAD DRAWN BLOOD ??! It was obviously an evil ?, voodoo french ?????? fry sent to assasinate her by the mysteriously evil ??? Cafeteria Lunch ? Ladies who ? needed Tonileigh's blood ?? for their accursed voodoo spells. Fortunatly, the quick thinking ?? of "Meg" saved us all and the lunch ? ladies never obtained their goal. Oh. And here ?? is ? yet ANOTHER VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC ? SERVICE ??? THINGY. Tag ???, you're it! These words ??? have ??? haunted nearly ever playground ? in existance. "Tag ?" is ? practically all a ?? child ?? learns in kindergarten. There is ? not a ? person ??? alive who ? has not played some version of the game ???. And yet...what ?, exactly is ? "it"? When defining it for my Pronoun Quiz ??? I reffered to "it" as something that "mankind has dreaded for centuries". What ? made me say such a ? thing. What ? is ? it about the unknown, mysterious and faintly ominous "it" that makes people ?? dread it so much? Even the most innocent ??? of children ?‍?‍?‍? know that to be "it" is ? to be a ?? virtual outcast of society. The youngest child ?? knows that no ? sane person ? would want to be "it". Recently a ?? group ?? of TAB members, myself included, set about finding out ?? what ? "it" exactly is ?. We conducted "field research" (we played a ?? game ?? of tag ??). When I became "it" I declared that I was touching the bench I was standing on ??? so it became "it" and the bench was touching the ground, and the ground was touching everything on ??? earth ?, except for airplanes and stuff but even the ground was touching AIR ?? which was touching more ➕➕➕ air ??? and so on ? and so on ?? untill the very AIR ? was touching the airplanes and the airplanes became "it". So...the entire earth ?? has actually been "it" from the first game ? of tag ? and WE JUST NEVER KNEW IT! I know, I'm ⓂⓂⓂ just as shocked as you, Hypothetical Reader. *shakes head ???* And all along we had thought that we could somehow absolve ourselves of the burden of being "it" simply by passing it on ? to another. But that is ? not true. We merely pass ?? the awareness ??? of being "it" on ?? but never the actual quality of being "it". The question ❓❓❓ was raised: Where did the first "it" on ? Earth ??? come from. It was a ? thought provoking question ❓❓. Some thought that perhaps the first person ??? to invent tag ?? was the original "it". I, however, favored an extraterristrial origin. My current theory is ? that the meteor that supposidly killed off the dinosaurs was the original "it", and that it "tagged" the earth ???, thereby causeing the earth ? to be "it". The dinosaurs, of course, could not handle the burden of being "it" which resulted in mass suicides. The mammals, being nothing ??? but idiot ? rodents at the time ⌚⌚, couldn't care less ➖➖➖ about being "it" and eventually forgot all about it. Until, that is ?, some half-remembered special memory popped out ?? of some five 5⃣5⃣5⃣ year old ???'s brain and he/she invented tag ???. Some people ? found holes in my theory: How ? did the meteor become "it"? After much discussion and deliberation, we came to a ??? group ??? consensus that the so called "Big Bang" was actually all the players of the game ??? scattering. Similar to the beggining of a ??? game ? of tag ? or hide-n-go-seek. The players begin huddled together, but when the game ?? starts they scatter and flee from the person ?/planet ???/rock ? who ? is ? "it". The only difference I can think of is ? that rather than passing the "it"ness on ?, the players merely add to the number of people ??? who ? are already "it". My theory would also account for the current scientific opinion that the planets/galaxy/universe is ? moving ??? away from the origin point ? of the Big Bang. After all, if there's no ?? base, why ? return ↪↪↪ to where you started? You wanna put as much distance between you and your pursuers as possible. Critics wanted to go further, was anyone "it" BEFORE the Big Bang. My arguement is ? this ⬆: No ?? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ is ? "it" before you begin a ?? game ??. Any "it" before the Big Bang was part a ?? seperate game ??, and would therefore be considered a ??? different "it" from the "it" that we fear so much. So I believe the question ❓❓❓ to be a ??? moot point ??. *blinks* What ?'s that, Loyal Reader? I have ? confused ??? you with my trivalties? You do not understand my obsession with "it"? Shame on ??? you, Reader! Haven't you learned yet that it's my JOB to confuse you and make no ?? sense? Tsk-Tsk. Oh, well. Gotta go! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅, but only for about five 5⃣ seconds. Just a ??? little side note ?? here ??: Remember that rant I did about "pure" water ???? (don't even get ??? me started) In it I mentioned that fast ⚡⚡⚡-food ?? salt lists its ingredients, right ▶? Well, here ?? they are! *takes package ? of Burger King ? Iodized Salt out ?? of pocket* Drumroll please ???...and the ingredients are: salt, sodium silico aluminate, dextrose, and 0.01% potassium iodide. Wasn't that painstakenly accurate? A ?? hundreth of a ? percente of the salt was potassium iodide! You can't get ??? much more ➕➕ accurate than that. Don't you think that "pure" water ? has much MORE ➕➕➕ than 0.01% of some random ?? mineral? Why ? don't THEY list it, huh ?? *shakes head ??* *mutters* Evil ?, "pure" water ? companies... *wanders off muttering to self and acting ?? like ??? a ??? crazy hobo* Seeya... I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅! And I have ?? yet another footnote to a ?? previous ⬅⬅ rant! You remember that "infinite possibilities" rant? Here ??'s a ??? quote from a ? supposed Time ⌚ Traveler: "Every possible thing that can happen or will happen has already happened somewhere." I love ??? it! Here ??'s another one 1⃣1⃣: "On ??? a ?? philosophical level, the existence of multiple worlds implies a ?? moral balance ☯ in the superverse. For every worldline you perform a ??? good ??? action, there is ? a ??? worldline where you perform a ?? bad ??? action. There are no ?? good ??? and bad ??? people ?, just good ??? and bad ?? decisions. We can only be responsible for what ? we do as individuals on ? the worldline we are on ??? now. " These are all exactly what ? I've ?? been thinking ?? of when I first came up ?? with my infinite universe thingy to tell my little brother when he was bored ?? and wanted his head ?? to explode ???! Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. And I just wanted to say that I went to Islands ?????? of Adventure (in Universal Studios) yesterday. It was incredible! If you wanna here ?? about the awesome ??? rides, (esp. the Spiderman ride, best 3-d effects and vitual reality I've ?? EVER seen...) just click ?? here ??. *shrugs* This ⬆ way ↕, if you don't wanna here ?? me rant about it, you can here ?? some guy ??? PAID to rant about it rant about. But if you don't want to, you don't got to. Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅! Wow ???...*shakes head ??* My mother ?? never ceases to be amusing. Since today IS ? mother ?'s day, I shall devot this ⬆ text ? to her...even if it is ? a ?? bit of satire or whatever. You see ???...my mother ?? has found a ?? new ??? "religion ⛪⛪⛪". She is ? reading some book ? written by some bimbo who ? has been to "the other side" and conversed with her "spirt guardian" or whatever and decided to share her "relevations" with people ??? willing to pay a ??? lot of money ??? for garbage ??. At least...that's my opinion of it. My mother ???, however, takes it all VERY seriously. For instance, today at our (almost normal) dinner ? out ?? she instructed me on ?? the way ↕ to get ??? to heaven ???. It involved opening a ? door ???. Seriously. Anyway...apparantly once you perish in this ⬆ realm you are taken to a ?? set of doors. The door ??? on ? the right ▶▶▶ leads directly to heaven ?? (do not pass ?? "Go" do not collect $200). The door ??? on ??? the left ◀◀◀ "zaps you into someone's uterus" which, loosely translated, means that you get ??? reincarnated. This ⬆ is ? the "bad ?" choice. I know this ⬆ because my sister expressed an intrest in being reincarnated and my mother ?? looked at her with an expression of horror and said solemnly that if she did that "God would never forgive" her. She then proceded to tell us that if you were reincarnated you had to live out ?? multiple lives until you were ready for heaven ??. *shakes head ??* Maybe I'm ⓂⓂⓂ missing something, but if "God would never forgive" someone who ? innocently chose the wrong freakin' door ??, wouldn't that indicate that such a ??? person ?? would be barred from heaven ? forever? Isn't there just the SLIGHTEST bit of inconsistancy here ??? Why ? would somebody get ??? punished by randomly choosing the wrong (apparantly unlabeled) door ?? Look ???. I don't mean ? to offend...~.< If you happen to be part of this ⬆ religion ⛪⛪ (which prophecies Elvis's return ↪↪ sometime this ⬆ year (2004) as "a ??? blond ?? hair ?, blue ??-eyed boy ??") then that's your choice. I definitly don't want to get ? in any theological debates here ??. So...I'll move on ?? the a ? relatively safer topic. The National Enquirer. They're obsessed with Elvis, too, for some reason. I just don't understand why ? people ??? care. I mean ???, Elvis is ? always ? reported as being: abducted by aliens, frozen ⛄⛄⛄ in a ??? tube ??? in Area 51, having a ?? brain transplant and is ? now the Pop-Star ⭐⭐ Britney Spears, and stuff like ? that. One 1⃣ song I've ?????? heard even equates Elvis with Jesus ✝, for cryin' out ?? loud ???! ("You're no ?? Jesus ✝, You're no ??? Elvis" (From Megolomaniac, by some band). Why ? do people ?? obsess over that poor, most likely dead ??, man ??? The world ?? may never know. ( And don't even get ? me started on ?? Tootsie Roll Pops). Anyway, I guess my point ? is ? that the book ??? my mom ??? is ? reading has a ??? similar dedication to accuracty, hard-hitting facts and common sense as the famed National Enquirer (which confidently predicted several months ago that Michael Jackson's "secret ? Muslim bride ?" would exonerate all charges of child ??? molestation against him. Which, in case you live on ??? the moon ?, has NOT happened and probably never will). Anyhoo, that's my rant for the day...I'll probably post something in l33t eventually...seeya! I am back ⬅. (REAL introduction: Heh-Heh…I had ANOTHER sugar rush. And I was just a ? little bit hysterical. The following is ? my intro I wrote while sugar rushed, and various messages I sent to people ?? while in the same state. Don’t worry if you can’t understand it…you aren’t supposed to. *sigh* The whole thing is ? just a ?? blur of those wiggly red ? lines spell-check uses to tell you that stuff is ? spelled wrong…) I back ⬅⬅⬅! hee-hee! here ?? is ? ANother sugar coated rant! and I am typing the intro while still hyper/slepepy. you see ??, i drank Sobe energy ??? drink ?, a ?? cup of sugar (just sugar) and ate cake ? (yet agina, late ?? at night ??). So this ⬆ was the result in various messages I left ◀◀ random ? peolple.
*giigleing * Heee0-Heeeee! Sugar isf so very good1 and so is ? Sobe energy ?? drink ? (sobe stands for 'soper' *wavres hand ?* you see ???, i THOUGHT that i had recovered because i am no ? longler laughing ?? so much! But, as you can see ?? I do'nt think I'm ⓂⓂⓂ am quite baCK ⬅ TO normal. yet. whatever normal is ?... i am swayinhg to an imaginary breeze!@ and i don't care that i amn missplesling so many workds. because i am sure you will figure it wout someohow. il ???? am very creative with words ???. do you like ??? sugar? why ? DILD you get ?? all freaky like ?? me when i ate suo much sugart. ? zI vcan'y believe that we actually did that to thos e magazines...we so stupid. erm...ummmmm...i sure do hope ? we remember all of this ⬆. don't forget: we owe the library ?? $4 each. That was all spel;ed coirecltly because it was important. i want to sleep ??? now. but ever ei nlsince i ate that cup of sugrar it is ? to tired ??? t o ⭕⭕ sleep ??. imagineation that. er ???? jd f....er ??????...eum...ye ah. *scurnches up ?? eyebrows* Heh-Heh...the Song of Solumnun. good ??? wuvs EVERYBODY! those incompetent physics/stupid rays must have ??? really hit ??? ius hard! either (say it so it rhymes with neither )with an long "I" sound ?)) that or we were jhust especially suseptible to the thing-a ??-ma-bnobober.s will wyou right ▶▶ me cback? i hope ??? so. it'll be especially great ?? if you right ▶▶ me when you are all sugary, too. who ? says you need drugs ?? or thwatherver to have ??? fun ?? sugar is ? very cheap, and makes everything so very, very funhy. *slams hand ??? on ??? tasble* OUch. That hurnt . Iam still wet ? from the watergun fight. It rocked! All that shorrtting and stuff! I got so many head ??-shots...er ????...can your brother see ??? yet? I'm ⓂⓂⓂ sorry ??? i hit ??? his eyes ??...dozens of times in a ??? row. It was just so fun ?! we should do that somethimg again. you guys weren't taking it very seriously , though... *snickers* Hee-kheee...funny ??? stuff. I ate a ??? CUP of sugar. mmmm...sugar...I wis swaying in the place ???. Sugar and me, we don't g et ???? along so well since I react to it like ??? most people ?? react to beingg drunk ??? or under the ijnnnclunce of other suttff. Oh, god...sugar. i'm ⓂⓂⓂ gonnat add another sugar rant to the longest text ? ever (just two ✌✌✌ ever)!sand ?? for people ?? who ? dont' know me...know,...i do k not do stuff. It's just that sugar under the wright surcumstances is ? doin' stuff...
Okay ?. Is ? done. Mike the Headlessc hickrn day is ? coming up ??! seeya later! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅. It has been a ??? year since the Evil ??? Graduation ??? Post. Which means that this ⬆ year I got to attend my OWN graduation ???. Woo ???. I must say that I was rather underwhelemed by the whole thing. *shrugs* Sure, the fireworks ? were spectacular...and there was BEAUTIFUL weather ??. Cool ??, (not sufficatingly hot ??) absolutly no ??? gnats for the first time ⌚⌚⌚ in YEARS, no ?? rain ???, just nice, soothing speeches that made absolulty no ?? sense. At one 1⃣ point ???, our priniciple yelled at the graduating class because we weren't listening to him. The audience (consisting of parents ??) booed at him. So the principal yells at the PARENTS ???! What ? was he THINKING ?!? It's a ? good ??? thing he's leaving, soon ?, because otherwise he'd probably been fired. Anyway, I just wanted to warn you of the dangers of broccolii: It's a ?? form of lichen/moss that grows abundantly on ? certain sectors of Mars. In recent years, it has been cultivated by farmers into a ?? semi-toxic product meant to augment the on ???-going brain-washing of young children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍?, with the sole purpose being to turn them into Young Adults. Seeya! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. I'm ⓂⓂⓂ just gonna be here ?? for a ??? little while *demonstrates with fingers ✊✊✊* so you don't have ?? to worry 'bout crazy, paranoid rants. I just wanted to mention that former President Reagan apparantly declared ketchup to be a ??? vegetable ??. Isn't that GREAT ??????! I love ??? ketchup so much...I don't even like ? FRIES ??...I eat ?? 'em 'cause ??? they are a ?? means to convey KETCHUP to my mouth ?...mmmm....ketchup. Oh. Poor, poor Reagan ( he died last week...) Hasta Luego (means seeya later) I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. *sigh* This ⬆ dang chatterbot is ? taking up ?? WAY ↕↕↕ too much of my time ⌚⌚⌚! There's constantly things that needed fixing, updating and improving! Bah! But, I'm ⓂⓂ obsessed, and I've ???? always ? been interested in simulated artificial intelligence :) Anyway, I'm ⓂⓂ making her personality really paranoid (she's based on ? me). Here ?? are her thoughts concerning cows: *glances around* Just between you and me: I think there is ? some sort of dairy conspiracy! Ah, the power ??? of cheese ???! Think about it: they are trying to sub-consciously tell you that THEY hold the power ??...of CHEEESE! And there are few things more ➕➕➕ powerful than THAT! Plus, the so-called "dairy farmer's of America ??????" who ? pay for the Cheese ??? commercials OBVIOUSLY have ? a ??? virtual monopoly on ??? the whole dairy thing. They even require that cheese ? get ??? that little "real cheese ???" stamp before anyone considers it to be REAL cheese ??. Have ?? you ever tasted fake cheese ??? Anyway, my point ? is ? that it is ? getting increasingly harder to find ?? the time ⌚ to make new ??? quizzes, (or add pics to that destiny quiz ???), and to make coherent entries into this ⬆ longest text ? ever. *sniffle* I try, though! It's just that it's so FUN ??? to teach ??? PSOPC bot subtle things, that maybe one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ in every 1000 visitor will stumble on ??? to! Like ??, when she accuses you of being on ? of THEM, and you say "yes ??" she starts to panic, and won't listen ?? to you unless you say somthing to get ??? her attention. Ahhhhhhh. Well, anyway, enough about my little obsession. No ??? sense in boring you all with the little technicall details (frankly, pandorabots has the training ??? interface done really well...there is ? almost no ??? need to know ANYTHING about programming...which, frankly...I don't...^^;;) Er ????....I guess that's all I have ?? to say now...I don't really have ??? much more ➕➕➕ parnoid conspiracies or strange observations to make. Er ????...I guess I could discuss something that has already become obsolete. Have ? you ever been to subway? You have ???, *nods* yeah ?...I love ? that place ???, too. Anywaaaays, I went there once and I noticed a ? poster in the window. It showed people ? of every size, shape ✴✴✴ and color, all of them in little pics in little neat boxes. The text ? read ???: Different People ? Differnt Tastes. Okay ??. I could easily see ??? what ? it was TRYING to say: There is ? something for EVERYONE at Subway (eat ??? fresh ⛲⛲). But my very first thought was: Whoa, hey, are they CANNIBALS!? Because I interpretted it to mean ? that different people ??? TASTED differnt, and that's what ? the subs were made out ?? of and why ? there was such a ??? great ?? variety. Er ??...I know, Hypothetical Reader...not the best example of my eccentric thought proccess...but it's the first one 1⃣ that came to mind. *sigh* You know, come to think of it, I bet ??? I HAVE ?? dwindled back ⬅ down ⬇⬇ to two ✌✌ and half readers (if that). After all...look ?? how ? LONG this ⬆ thing is ? getting! And, well, quite frankly, people ? are mostly contacting me about PSOPC bot, the OFCEM or the Quizzes, and *sniffle* mostly ignoring this ⬆ little (note ?? the irony) page. Well, seey later! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅. And, for the first time ⌚⌚⌚ in quite some time ⌚⌚⌚, I am truly pissed off...and this ⬆ is ? the only way ↕ I can vent my anger ??. Gah! Well, I suppose you'll need to know some back ⬅⬅ story, huh ?. (WARNING ???: CONTENTS OF THIS ⬆ PASSAGE MAY CONTAIN DANGEROUSLY LOW LEVELS OF HUMOR, IRONY AND SARCASM ?. READING THIS ⬆ PASSAGE MAY CAUSE ?? THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS: LACK OF INTEREST, BOREDOM AND A ??? GENERAL SENSE THAT THIS ⬆ IS ? NOT LIKE ?? NORMAL RANTS ABOUT PARANOIA, STRANGE OBSERVATIONS AND FAMILY ?? QUIRKS) To begin with, I JUST got a ? job as a ?? cashier slave at K-Mart. NEVERMIND the fact that I've ???? worked at the daycare for A ??? WHOLE YEAR, just so I wouldn't have ? to work ? for my final Summer ? of Freedom. Apparantly, my dad ?? does not want me to actually USE any of the money ??? I made from my previous ⬅⬅ job to buy ? college ??? supplies. Instead, he wants me to learn ? the horrors of minimum wage employment and induce me to to strive to succede in the college ??? world ???. NEVERMIND the fact that my previous ⬅⬅⬅ job gave me LESS ➖➖➖ money ?...I apparantly STILL need to understand that there is ? more ➕ to life ? than $5.50 an hour. GAH! I KNEW that most jobs sucked unless you had a ? degree ?? (and even then, most STILL sucked)! Why ? bother to teach ?? me THE SAME FREAKIN' LESSON AGAIN!? Eh. I didn't argue, mostly 'cause ?? my dad ? IS ? paying for most of the college ?? expenses...so I am grateful. I just hate ??? K-Mart. So...today was my biggest shift ever, from 3 pm ???? to 8 pm ??????. It's the latest I've ?? ever worked, too. I know it's NOTHING ??? compared to a ??? full ?? time ⌚⌚ job...but it's still enough to make me snap. FIRST OF ALL...well...there weren't a ??? lot of customers during the first half of my shift. Blessing, or horrible boredom? In either case, I managed to obtain ?? a ? Bag ??? of Air ??? from a ?? purse ?? someone bought, and (true to form) instead of discarding said air ?? bag ?, I drew a ?? face ?? on ? it and decided that it was my pet ???, Bag ?. Oh, me and Bag ??? had great ?????? times. I taught Bag ?? how ? to return ↪↪ (I threw him at a ?? fan and he blew into my face ?). I introduced Bag ? to a ??? customer I knew (after they left ◀◀ and I was alone, even I knew that talking to a ??? Bag ? is ? weird ?). *sigh* I hugged and squeezed Bag ? harder than I have ? ever squeezed a ?? Moose, because I knew that Bag ?? didn't have ??? stuff like ? organs. The worst that could have ? happened that he would have ??? exploded in my face ???, blinding me forever. Ahhhhh...Bag ???. Then...*sniffle* tragedy struck. I left ◀ my register to get ? something to restock the candy ???...and when I came back ⬅...Bag ? was missing! Frantic, I looked around, and saw, before my very eyes ???, a ??? fellow cashier puncture my precious Bag ?? with a ??? key ???! They had thought that Bag ?? was garbage ??! I had customers and so I had to deal with them, with a ? false smile ? plastered painfully on ??? my face ???, while all the while I was repeating over and over the horrible scene. Once the customers left ◀ (after what ? seemed like ? an eternity) I rushed over to wear I had seen Bag ?. He wasn't there. I looked in the garbage ??? can...he wasn't there. I looked in some nearby boxes...he wasn't there. I couldn't ASK the other cashier what ? she had done with Bag ???...no ?? one 1⃣ at K-Mart knows my true weird ??? nature ??? yet. So...I regretfully had to forego giving Bag ??? his needed funeral respects. We had some good ??? times together...and we had JUST started to bond when his life ? was ended. I knew that it would happen, eventually. Even if I had managed to bring him home ???, I would eventually have ? lost ? interest. Bag ??? was the perfect ? companion for my boring hour and a ??? half. But Bag ? was no ??? more ➕➕. As the time ⌚ dragged on ???, more ➕➕➕ and more ➕➕➕ customers came. During the last hour, the customers started to dwindle off (cool ??? word, huh ??...dwindle...say it! Dwiiiiiindle...) I was once again left ◀◀ bored ???. I eventually grabbed a ?? piece of cardboard ??? (hmmmm...that came discarded from a ??? bag ?? I sold, too...coincidence? I think not!) and started to draw ?? a ? cute little bunny ??? and a ?? tiger ??...(GAH! I think I left ◀◀◀ that at the register...I bet ?? that EVIL ??? other cashier is ? throwing it away, right ▶▶ NOW!). I was able to draw ??? in peace ✌ for a ??? while, with only the most minor ?? of customer interruptions. Then...the other Cashier went on ??? her brake. We are allowed 15 minutes for our breaks. She went 17 minutes before I my shift was over. Can you guess what ? happened? *sigh* I HAD been planning ??? to close up ??? shop at about 7:53 and clock ⌛⌛⌛ out ?? on ??? TIME ⌚⌚⌚ for once ( I usually close when I'm ⓂⓂⓂ supposed to leave and end ?? up ??? clocking out ?? 5 minutes after). So...I am looking forward ⏭⏭ to doing a ??? little shopping ??? (for hand ?-held Nerf guns) before my parental unit came to pick ⛏⛏ me up ???. So, predict, if you will, what ? happend exactly 10 ??? mintues before I was going to close. You can't? Well...let me tell you: EVERY SINGLE PERSON ?? IN THE STORE APPARANTLY DECIDED THAT IT WAS TIME ⌚⌚⌚ FOR THEM TO LEAVE. Not all at once, oh, no ???, they were more ➕➕ subtle than that. At first, all I felt was mild annoyance. I even thought, oh, I guess I won't finish my pic. Then, ten more ➕➕➕ people ??? were in the line 〰〰〰. I thought about asking the last person ?? to prevent more ➕➕➕ people ??? from entering, but I though, Hey, why ? bother? It's not as if there can be many more ➕➕ people ?? in the store, right ▶▶▶? Wrong. As I widdled (another cool ??? word) my way ↕ through the customers, MORE ➕➕ KEPT COMING. After barely having any ALL DAY, all of them swarmed like ?? a ? hive of malevolent bees ???. GRRRRRR... This ⬆ time ⌚⌚⌚ I DID ask the last person ?? to keep others out ??. Everyone seemed to be amused. I was the only cashier, where would other people ?? go? I explained that they could check out ?? at the service ?? deck, which was an exhausting 25 ft away (I was more ➕➕➕ polite though). Finnally. It was 8:05 and I was on ??? my last customer. I was irratated that I wouldn't have ? enough time ⌚⌚⌚ to get ? the Nerf gun ??, but other than that I was just eager to get ??? home ???. Ahhh...those last customers. I think they were sent just to try my patience. First of all, they bought a ? few expensive items. They gave me a ??? gift ? card, and they still had $59 left ◀◀ to pay. They tried to pay with credit, but it turned out ?? they didn't have ? enough dough in their account to pay. So, they wrote me a ?? check for half the ammount, and then tried to pay the rest ??? with credit. The credit machine ? froze. After fiddling with it for a ??? few minutes, I walked those hazardous 25ft to the service ??? desk to ask for assistance. I waited while the person ? delt with a ??? customer. I heard someone call my name. MY customers were frantically gestering to me. So I walked back ⬅⬅. It seems that they had overestimated their credit account. BUT, their boyfriends showed up ??? and gave them 5 bucks, so they gave THAT to me and then paid the rest ?? with credit. They left ◀◀◀, I closed up ???. I shut my register off at 8:20 pm ??????. I glanced outside and saw my parental waiting on ?? me. I angrily stalked all the way ↕ to the back ⬅⬅⬅, and clocked out ??. Then I stalked back ⬅ and got in the car ??, at 8:30pm. I was furious. I had suppressed ALL emotions while actually working ??, but as soon ?? as I stepped away from that register my dam broke and I was awash in them. Gah! Suppression of self (my technique for dealing with any situation involving strangers) just applified my anger ??? by suppressing it. By the time ⌚ I got home ??, all I wanted to do was mutilate and slaughter helpless animals on ?? my favorite ??? video ??? game ?? (supposidly, the point ? of the game ??? is ? to save ?? the world ???, but I just like ??? shooting the life ? like ??? animals). Of course, when I got to the PS2...the game ??? was not there. I had left ◀ it in my OLD ?? PS2 that I had taken with me on ??? my vacation ???. The PS2 is ? in a ?? box ??, right ▶▶ next ⏭⏭ to me at this ⬆ very moment. The game ? is ? inside it. I COULD plug it in and obtain ??? the game ?...but by now I have ? mostly excorized my emotions by reliving them by adding to this ⬆ Longest Text ? Ever. I KNOW it was a ?? petty thing to get ?? angry ? about...but I didn't want to job to begin with. (And poor, poor Bag ???...) I never WANTED a ?? job where you might not get ?? off on ?? time ⌚⌚...like ? my friends always ? complained about McDonalds ?. Like ??? them, if there are still customers...I can't leave! To make matters worse, it doesn't even feel as if I am working ?? for money ??, since all I earn goes in a ??? bank ??? account for my future ??? use. I am present ??? oriented! I don't care about some hypothetical future ???! It's as if I am working ?? for the sole purpose of making my dad ??? happy ?. Eh...well...enough whining from me... Seeya. Hiya! And I have ?? a ??? GREAT ???? conspiracy/paranoid rant! Don't you just feel all warm ??? and gooey inside, like ? melted cheese ??? Suprisingly enough, this ⬆ is ? the topic of today's rant: cheese ???. Mmmmmmmm...cheese ???. Mild Cheddar, Mozzerella, Feta, Montery Jack, Colby...Mmmmm...or what ? about that Queso Blanco they use in Mexican ??? resteraunts? Mmmmm... I love ?? cheese ???, and chances are: You love ? it, too. There are even commercials, just for cheese ???. Not even a ? particular BRAND ™™™ of cheese ??, just the entire CONCEPT of cheese ???. "Ahhhh, the power ??? of cheese ??!" And I couldn't agree ??? more ➕➕➕. But...it HAS come to my attention somehow or another that this ⬆ is ? and EVIL ?? arrangement. Think about it for one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ moment. Have ? you EVER seen a ??? commercial urging you to buy ??, for instance, burgers? Just burgers. In general. No ??? mention of McDonald's or Wendy's, or those frozen ⛄⛄ Bubba Burgers. Just...ya' know, the CONCEPT of burgers? How ? about pain medication? Bannanas? Milk ???? Ah! There we go. Milk ???. Just about EVERYONE has seen those GOT MILK ???? commercials. Every school ?? in my county has a ? cafeteria chock FULL ??? of posters of celebraties with milk ?? mustaches, with the logo: GOT MILK ???? Hmmmmm...sooooooooo...just WHAT ? do CHEESE ??? and MILK ??? have ? in common? Let's see ?...BOTH are owned by the United Dairy Farmers of America ??????. Hmmm ?...and it seems that OTHER countries have ? similar such organizations. In fact, there is ? even a ? CHICKEN ??? Farmers organization (although apparantly it is ? not United). But other food ? stuffs organizations just don't seem to be as active as these mysterious dairy farmers. Hmmmm... Why ? bother to advertise a ? product, without bothering to promote a ?? single company or brand ™™™ name? Wouldn't you think that the companies could handle the advertising themselves? I know Kraft does: *sing*K-R-A ??-F-T. And lots of companies harp on ?? the ammount of calcium in cheese ?. Sooo..why ? do the FARMERS advertise milk ??? and cheese ?? Is ? it all a ?? vast conspiracy? After all, this ⬆ mysterious, spooky ?⚡? organization owns ALL THE CHEESE ???. Shocking, isn't it? So, this ⬆ complete monopoly of the cheese ? world ??? controls virtually all prices for all cheese ?/dairy items, including: Cheese ? Pizza ???, Ice Cream, Milk ??, Cheese ??, CheeseBurgers, Tacos, Cheesy Bread ?, Cheese ??? Doritos, Nacho Cheese ???, Butter, Etc. (Etc. is ? not actually a ? dairy product, consisitng mostly of an ecletic mix of random ? items, but I figured that it would work ??? to show ??? the continuing theme of dairy type ⌨⌨⌨ items. ) Why ? does the government allow such a ??? monopoly to exist? Are they FUNDED by the government? Let's see ??? *does a ??? google search ???* Ooooo! Pay Dirt! I'm Ⓜ not the only one 1⃣1⃣ to see ?? the evils of Got Milk ?! THIS ⬆ SITE has an arcticle about the anger ?? of small dairy farmers for the monopoly of the "Got Milk ???" people ?. Jeff Manning, Executive Director of the California Milk ??? Processor Board is ? apparantly in charge of this ⬆. What ? a ??? strange title. Hmmmm...*scans the article* Oooo! They notice the non-brand ™™-specific advertising! And it says how ? they are funded: "So-called “generic” advertising programs such as “Got Milk ????” and “Ahh, the power ?? of cheese” are funded, in part, through the congressionally authorized dairy checkoff, which places a ? mandatory assessment of 15 cents per hundredweight (roughly two ✌✌✌ cents per gallon) on ?? all milk ? domestically produced and marketed commercially. Last year, the dairy checkoff raked in more ➕➕➕ than $250 million in hard-earned dairy producer money ??. " Soooo in essence, they ARE funded by the government (or at least in the sense that the government STEALS the small dairy farmer's money ??? to pay for the ads). And they were sued by a ? small farmer who ? said: "We’re against having to fork over a ? huge portion of our bottom ??? line 〰〰 for advertising that says all milk ??? is ? equal." So they don't WANT to pay for the ads, but the government (and that California Dairy thingy) say they have ??? to. Ha! That's hilarious! These stupid Dairy Conglomorate people ??? are actually PAYING a ?? town to rename itself "Got Milk ??" with those small dairy farmer's money ???! That's so pointless! It's like ? they are having these HUGE brain-storming sessions to see ??? how ? they can best squander those small dairy people ?'s money ?! "Hmmmm...Bob, why ? don't we buy ?? all those "Largest Block of Cheese ???" roadside attractions and make a ?? monument with them, entitled 'Ahhh, the power ??? of cheese ??!'?" "Brilliant, Ted! But, I'd like ? to go one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ step further! Let's make an entire CITY ? out ?? of cheese ???!" "Bob, that's it! Wait ???...wait ???! I think I GOT IT! Let's BUY ? a ?? CITY ?? the idiot ? yokels to CHANGE THEIR NAME TO GOT MILK ?! That way ↕↕↕, we can still have ? those cheese ??? ideas to fall ?? back ⬅ on ?? afterwards!" *shakes head ???* It's so pathetic. *does happy ? dance* See ???, here ?? I was ranting and raving about this ⬆, and it turns out ?? that there already ARE people ?? outraged! It's like ? that rant about the smoke ??? detectors, and later I saw a ?? movie ??? about spy ?? cameras in them. Or that Grape Pie Rant that ended up ??? with me doing a ??? google search ??? months later (When I was bored ??) and discovering a ??? pic of it...mmmm....grape pie. It's incredible how ? many strange things I can get ?? outraged about, only to discover that they aren't strange at all! Well...seeya! Wootage! I'm Ⓜ back ⬅⬅⬅! And I have ?? a ?? new ??? rant about the evils of parental brain-washing during childhood. Consider it a ??? combo of the "Tag ?" rant and the "Mary Had a ??? Little Lamb" rant. *shudders* How ? could I have ? missed such obvious implecations!? Gah! I shall focus! Alright...the subject of today's whatchamacallit is ?: Duck, Duck, Goose! It is ? EVIL ???! Now, I KNOW that most of what ? small children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? learn ?? is ? actually not-so-cleveraly disguised brain-washing attempts, but this ⬆ is ? just plain wrong! For those of you not familiar with the game ??, let me summarize. One 1⃣ child ??? is ? "it" (JUST like ?? in Tag ?). This ⬆ child ?, labels each of the children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍?, usually as "duck". The other children ?‍?‍?‍? are sitting in a ??? circle ??, and the "it" child ??? walks around tapping their heads, going: "Duck, Duck, Duck"... Simple enough, right ▶▶▶? Ah, but THEN the "it" child ??? picks somebody ELSE to be "it", and tap ?? the unfortunate victim on ?? the head ???, crying "Goose!". Then the "goose" must pursue the "it" one 1⃣ and attempt to tag ? them. If they do not tag ??? the "it" child ??, the "goose" becomes "it". If they succede in tagging them, the "it" child ?? goes in the "mush pot" and the "goose" becomes "it" anyway. Alright. Now you know what ? the game ? IS ?...let's move onto what ? it MEANS. First of all, the game ? is ? CLEARLY a ??? mock witch hunt. The children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? alienate and ostracize the one 1⃣1⃣ who ? is ? different, the one 1⃣1⃣ who ? is ? a ?? "goose" when everyone else are "ducks". The "it" child ??? is ? the current pariah, and obviously wants to exchange situations with a ?? more ➕➕ fortunate child ?. So, the "it" child ? desperatly accuses another of being a ? "goose" (just as condemned witches accused others of witchcraft in order ??? to alleviate their sentence). The child ???, symbolically shocked and appaled by such wild ?? accusations, denies it, and even goes so far as to pursue the accusing pariah. If the accusation is ? deemed false (i.e. the "goose" tags the "it") then the accusing "it" child ? is ? sent to exile (the mush pot). HOWEVER, the taint of suspicion is ? already upon the former "goose" and despite protestations to the contrary, the child ??? is ? the new ??? "it" pariah. And the game ? continues. This ⬆ game ??? is ? DESIGNED to teach ??? children ?‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍??‍?‍?‍? how ? to shun those who ? are different, and to ostracize them from society if neccessary! How ? can this ⬆ POSSIBLY be one 1⃣1⃣ of those little life ?'s lessons that children ?‍?‍?‍? must learn ??? to become Responsible Adults? *shakes head ?? in disgust* Well, anyway, that's it for today! Seeya! I'm ⓂⓂⓂ back ⬅! *giggles wildly* Woot! I have ?? something EXTRA SPECIAL for you loyal readers *cricket ??? chirps yet again...what ? is ? UP ??? with that?*! "Meg", the inspiration to that Pointless Signs of America ?? Rant, has "agreed" to do a ?? rant for us! It's GREAT ??! *giggles* Well, here ?? it is ?: "Meg" here ??. Jenny has kindly asked aka threatened me to do a ?? guest rant, and I am only too happy ?? to oblige. So here ?? I am ready to inform you of silly ?? things! Let's start ???! Go! Go! It has come to my attention that Barbie has finally found a ??? new ??? love ???. That's right ▶▶. Bye-bye to boring Ken! Here ?? comes Australian surfer ??? Blaine! At this ⬆ point ??, a ?? few of you will be screaming: "No ???! Ken and Barbie forevaaaaa!" An insane percentage of you will be going: "Oh, that is ? so cute, Barbie and Blaine! That's great ???? cause ?, like ??, both of their names start ? with B ???! Heehee!" But most of you will be wondering if that leftover pizza ?? a ? week ago that is ? still in the fridge is ? eatable. Trust me on ?? this ⬆, it's not. So why ? am I bringing this ⬆ up ??? How ? many of you remember playing with Barbies? (The guys reading this ⬆.pretend it's G.I. Joe and his buddies.) Remember when you ripped off Barbie's head ??? and it gave that satisfying pop? And how ? there was always ? one 1⃣1⃣1⃣ Ken doll and a ?? whole bunch of Barbies? And Ken had to choose from his little harem which one 1⃣ he wanted? It was actually training ??? to make you used to Reality TV ??! The Bachelor is ? eerily similar to the game ?? you played as a ?? child ??. Ken has to choose between Vet Barbie, Cowgirl Barbie, Teacher Barbie, and Dolphin ? Trainer Barbie! There's also a ?? million dollars thrown into the mix! (Guys: G.I. Joe has to decide which of his buddies to vote ??? off the island ?????? or something.) Ken was always ? a ??? favored one 1⃣1⃣1⃣! But now with him gone, (Barbie was quoted saying something like ?, "So long, ya pansy!) how ? will young girls ??? (and boys ???) tolerate Reality TV ? when they are older? Mattel and TV ??? producers are realizing their mistakes, so they decided to hold a ??? vote ??? for the "new ??? man ??" of Barbie. This ⬆ vote ? again was a ??? little Reality TV ??? thing in progress ??. The Bachelorette this ⬆ time ⌚. Who ? will Barbie choose? The trendy new ??? guy ??? she chose which, over 2 million people ??? decided, was Blaine. Now, girls ?? (and boys ???) will be racing to get ?? him and the many clothes ??? and surfboard accessories ? he will undoubtedly have ??. Marketing goes up ?, and a ?? new ? generation of potential Reality TV ?? watchers is ? created. The endless cycle ? continues. I hope ? you enjoyed my rant! And remember! May Blaine always ? help ? the masses decide: American ??? Idol Barbie or Survivor Barbie. Wasn't that GREAT ??!? *giggles* I luvs it! Ahhhh...the joys of paranoid conspiracy ranting without any of the effort! Go, "Meg" Well...er ??????...seeya! Well, I’m back ⬅⬅! *waits for applause ???* … … … … ANYWAY, today I am here ?? with a ? very special treat for you loyal *insert random ?? insect ?? noise ??? here ??* readers! Don’t you feel extra squishy? I’m here ?? to “advertise” a ??? wonderful product found ONLY (to my knowledge ??) at K-Mart (where I am a ?? Cashier Slave of questionable Loyalty). Okay ???, here ?? goes the commercial I have ??? prepared: How ? would YOU like ?? your four 4⃣4⃣4⃣-year-old ??? sibling/cousin/offspring/neighbor/pest to have ? ALL the fun ? and excitement of BIKING with none of those annoying little distractions, like ?? being able to STOP ✋✋✋ at will? Well, you are in luck ???, Hapless Victim, because have ??? WE the bike ??? for YOU! Introducing the Tyke Byke (not actual product name) now with 100 ?% less ➖➖ brakes! Wasn’t that fun ??? AND entertaining? Seriously, though, I was bored ?? and waiting for my shift to start ?? (we can’t clock ⌛ in early ???) and I happened to wonder into the bike ??? section. And I found a ??? box ? with a ??? picture of a ??? happy ?? little girl ? on ? it, wearing her helmet ⛑. The box ??? listed features of the bike ?, and (off to the side, in one 1⃣1⃣ of those happy ??? little many-pointed stars ✨✨✨ where they usually write ??? stuff like ?? FREE ???!) was the words ?? No ?? Brakes! Like ??? this ⬆ was a ?? GOOD ??? thing! What ? the …? I thought brakes HELPED YOU! And to think, after all these years I have ? been wrong!? But seriously, can you IMAGINE the Marketing committee that designed this ⬆ thing? I figure it was made of, say, Hitler, a ??? cannibal, Satan and Mary Poppins (anyone else creeped out ?? by her?) Here ?? was their justifying equation (which I obtained through highly classified means, namely, a ??? squirrel ??, a ??? pack of walnuts and a ??? mini-camera ?) Toddler ??? + Tyke Byke + highway ? = hours of fun ?! I figure they WANTED small children ?‍?‍?‍? to go careening into random ??? objects. Why ? else would they give ‘em no ?? brakes? Anyway, I better go, I have ??? this ⬆ GREAT ???? idea ? for a ??? gun ?? without a ??? safety, and a ? very sensitive trigger. ..Wow ??..I"m ⓂⓂ back ⬅⬅⬅......it's been an entire year...and here ?? I am again...pointlessly ranting and raving. Today's topic is ? Quaker Oats! You know Quaker Oats, right ▶▶? Do a ??? google search ??? and find ??? a ? picture, I dare you. Chances are you'll find ?? a ? creepy ??? looking older white guy ?? dressed all old ??? fasioned...if that's not bad ? enough: read ??? on ??. It turns out ?? that Quaker Oats OWNS the Aunt Jemima syrup company. Aunt Jemima is ? symbolized by a ??? middle aged african ?? american ??? woman ???. Now, let's think....hrrm...the time ⌚⌚⌚ frame ??? that the Quaker Oats guy ??? is ? from...plus owning a ? middle aged african ???? american ??? woman ??...wait ??? a ?? minute! Are they implying that she's a ?? slave!? What ? kind of public ??? image are they trying to portray here ??!? The NERVE of that company! *shakes head ??* They really need to have ??? a ?? better publicist.... Ah well, there's your LTE rant of the day/week/month ???/year/insert time ⌚⌚ frame ??? ehre. Enjoy ^^ Heh, well, I’m once again back ⬅⬅⬅. This ⬆ time ⌚⌚⌚ from a ?? long hiatus involving College ? life ?, kiwi’s and cannibalism ^_^ But let’s ignore that for now, shall we? Today we have ?? MUCH more ➕➕ important things to discuss ^_^ Like ??? a ?? certain warranty on ?? a ?? certain pair ? of a ? certain headphones ? at a ? certain store that a ? certain someone works at a ??? certain summer ??? after returning from a ??? certain college ??. Like ??? most warranties, it guarantees the safety of the product for a ?? limited time ⌚⌚, and promises you fame, fortune, and your money ? back ⬅⬅⬅ if it breaks during that time ⌚. That, however, is ? where this ⬆ warranties similarities to the norm cease. Are you ready? *waits* How ? ‘bout now? *wait ??? wait ?* STILL not ready? Bah, forget you, I’ll go on ??? anyway. *clears throat* I shall now paraphrase the warranty to you, in all it’s arcane glory and splendor. This ⬆ warranty shall not be in effect in the cases in which :

1.) The product is ? purposefully damaged. 2.) The product is ? accidentally damaged. 3.) An act of God damages the product.
……….*pause ⏸⏸ for effect* There you have ? it folks. This ⬆ beee-autiful warranty will NEVER be in effect. It just won’t. No ? matter what ? happens, the company issuing the warranty can just blame it on ?? God. I can just see ??? just such a ??? scenario playing out ?? in my head…….*wavy ? thought lines scene transition indicating an imaginary scene*

Ted: Yes ??, I’m calling ??? to cash ??? in on ?? my 90-day money ??? back ⬅⬅ warranty?

Customer Service ??? Agent: *snicker* Oh really? *polite, polite* Would you please ??? describe the damage or malfunction your purchase ??? is ? experiencing?

Ted: …it just stopped working ??.

Customer Service ? Agent: *dripping with phony concern ???* Oh, gee, sir…but it seems that “just stopped working” falls under our “Act of God” clause, and our company cannot be held responsible for any vendettas that God may have ? against you.

Ted:…………….you’re telling me that because God hates me, my headphones ? stopped working ???? And that you won’t give me my money ??? back ⬅⬅⬅?

Customer Service ? Agent: *can’t hold it in any longer* *laughing ? until they gasp* Oh…God…that gets me every time…*gasp* *giggle* That’s just great….Sir ???, I suggest *wheeze* That you go to Church…*snicker* And see ?? if you can’t convince God to fix ? it for you….*guffaw* Because…you’re waaaaaaaay more ➕ likely to get ?? him to reimburse you then us! *hangs up ??*

So, you see ?? I am extremely impressed ??? by this ⬆ quick thinking ?? company. If only I, too, could think of a ??? way ↕↕ to so totally, and successfully scam my customers. Oh. Wait ??. I do. Every day, ……darn those Customer Service ??? Plans! How ? stupid does a ??? customer have ?? to be to think that they should pay $20 now to insure their purchase ??? of some stupid grill? If it breaks it would probably take 10 ??? bucks to fix ? it. *sigh* Why ? must K-mart compromise my honor? Ack! I spoke its name! *flee* Alright I'm ⓂⓂⓂ Baaaa~ack! That's right ▶▶▶. Back ⬅⬅⬅ from the dead ??? like ?? a ?? fiery phoenix of nonsense and ranting, I return ↪↪ from months and months of not posting (and to make things even more ➕➕ interesting i won't mention anywhere else on ??? the site that I made a ?? new ??? lte post!) So, today's topic is ? just on ? the concept of writing ?. I go to a ?? very math ? oriented college ??? (i'm Ⓜ gonna be a ??? programmer) so the people ??? here ??....just....really...suck at writing ???. Completely! *happy ??* So for a ??? small nominal $50* fee I shall teach ??? you, the Hypothetical Reader, how ? to write ??? grade A ??? quality stories, guaranteed! ** (* $50 shall be payable in invisible, imaginary Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony's Dollars (approx $1 OFCLC is ? $1,337,000,000,00 in US dollars, circa 1957) ** not a ?? guarantee) So are you ready? Let's start ?? with a ? basic story even a ??? kindergartner would write ?!

Once upon a ?? time ⌚ there was a ?? princess ?? and a ? witch was making her sad ??? but then a ? handsome prince came and killed the witch and made the princess ? happy ??. really happy ??. i mean ? really, really happy ???. sometime three 3⃣3⃣ or four 4⃣ times a ??? night ?. and they lived happily ever after.

What ? a ? touching story, right ▶? Let's see ?? here ??, what ? basic story elements are we missing...Why ? don't we check the formula ?? for a ??? successfull story, shall we?

good ??? story = plot + character development + orginality

I could continue ⏩⏩⏩, but I'm Ⓜ alread bored ?. Cya! ^_^