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Incredible Pronunciation Changes to Reduce Covid 19 Speech Spray

When we speak we spit a little bit.  Saying certain phonemes ejects more spray than others.  Thus, phoneme replacement is warranted for pandemic control.  Phonemes that expel much air must be replaced.  These in particular are:

         ~s, ~sh, ~f, ~k, ~p, ~t, ~th,

The theory is to replace spraying “unvoiced” consonants with “voiced” ones which inhibit spray.  Here is the replacement list:

 

~s  - is replaced by ~z (which is usual for many plurals anyway)

~sh - is replaced by ~zh  (as in “vision” ~vizhion)

~f  - is replaced by ~v (which is usual for “of”)

~k  - is replaced by ~g

~p  - is replaced by ~b

~t  -  is replaced by ~d or glottal stop (which is often done anyway)

~th  -  is replaced by ~d  (which is often done by ELS learners

 

Examples

Normal - We want to be safe without covid virus of course 

No-Spray -  We wan’ do be zave widou’ govid viruz ov gourze

 

Normal  -  Kindly show a little  respect  to others for Pete’s sake

No-spray -  Gindly zhow a liddle rezbegd do uderz vor Bede’z  zage

 

Results.

Much less speech spray will thwart covid transmission so talk safely.  Flailing tongues are dangerous.  Keep firmly tongue in cheek.