At some point in life, a man and a woman decide to turn their relationship into something more lasting, purposeful and noble than just dating. In this decision, there is love, courage, anxiety, joy, pride, fear, superiority and many other emotions that permeate the newlyweds. But this act is only a prelude to what is in some ways the true purpose of marriage: the birth and raising of a child. Only then, with the arrival of this magical soul, does everything change.
Suddenly, you attract a lot of attention from your relatives and friends: those who truly love you are happy about the birth of the child,i i those who do not love you, and pretend to be happy about the birth of the child. If you are a man, they pat you on the shoulder (especially if it is a boy) and appreciate you more than before. If you are a woman, you have all the possible attention, advice, help and protection of the Mothers. You both change, grow and develop, and you understand that you have finally passed all the tests and that raising children is the last act of your social initiation. You are accepted.
Although this responsibility scared you a little at first, now you see the benefits and discover new values of your changed status. The soul inhabiting the body of your child is so sweet, that often the very sight of it brings tears to your eyes, and thanks to it, you experience love in its original and pure form again and again. With boundless trust and love, the child places its little life in your hands, thereby bringing to the surface all the best and noblest that is in you.
You two are also her best friends and companions: you take care of her health and nutrition, teach her to talk and walk, explain and introduce her to the world, play and laugh together, you are happy. You are family.
Although you have a great influence on her, he is by no means a “tabula rasa,” a blank slate on which you and society together have yet to type and draw the contours of her personality. He is a consciousness that has lived previous lives, made and corrected mistakes, recognized and developed its talents and qualities, and, step by step, persistently and painstakingly, advanced in its development. The fruits of this development, as well as the fruits of its mistakes, are contained in the personality that now constitutes your child, and all the lessons that he has understood and learned from them, give him a unique and unrepeatable appearance.
Although at first glance it seems that he is “empty”, do not be deceived, with all the personal characteristics he is the same person as you, the difference between you is only about 20 years, which is how long it takes for him to remember herself.
And imperceptibly, but persistently, the child grows and develops, so that you find yourself stuttering, explaining to him the way bees reproduce. The years that pass carry with them memories of life that automatically establish the relationships you have built in this way, once they were bridges, sometimes walls. You are both responsible for their quality and type, proportionate to your age, level and capacity for understanding, honesty of intentions, role in decision-making in the family and much more.
If these are bridges, then your relationship is filled with understanding, respect, communication, love and other positive qualities. Admittedly, there are disagreements and quarrels between you from time to time, but they never go so deep, as to be filled with hatred and a desire to humiliate and destroy the enemy, but rather they are fleeting and superficial quarrels.
If these are walls and if you are inside them, then you are often subject to suffering. Many times the four walls form a prison from which it is impossible to escape, and pain is every day. Although you are surrounded by the world, you are on your own, no hand will reach out to open the door of your prison, not even those who fully understand the depth of your pain.
In reality you are a prisoner of the world and the relationships that govern it, such as they are today, and your jailer is simply the one who sees in all this a personal interest: “the finer side of life.” You represent the victim to whom he has a right of ownership, most often acquired by birth or marriage, and though in the outer world, like most other people, when he comes home to the wardrobe he puts aside the Actor and becomes again what he really is: the ruler of his own kingdom and the master of the life and death of his subjects.
You are family.
Oliver
August 6, 8th year Aeon of the Aquarius
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