In the world of cannabis enthusiasts, it’s no surprise that people experiment with different ways to enhance their smoking experience. Online forums are often full of outlandish suggestions, and one of the more bizarre topics involves swapping out water for various liquids in a bong. While it's tempting to try something new, not all liquid substitutes are created equal. In fact, many of them can completely ruin your session—or worse, damage your bong. Below, we break down 5 liquids you should never put in your bong, along with some safe alternatives that can elevate your smoking experience.

1. Alcohol – A Recipe for Disaster

While some may argue that alcohol could theoretically help with filtration, using liquor as a replacement for water is a huge mistake. Adding alcohol to your bong might sound intriguing, but it will only make your hits harsh and unpleasant. Not only will the THC in your smoke become alcohol-soluble, leaving it trapped in your liquor rather than reaching your lungs, but you also risk exploding your bong due to the flammability of alcohol. And let’s not even talk about the foul, acrid taste that comes from inhaling liquor fumes.

Alcohol-based liquids like whiskey or vodka offer no benefit and only make the experience worse. If you’re looking for a smoother, more enjoyable session, stick to water—the tried-and-true liquid that actually cools and filters your smoke.

2. Mouthwash – A Cool, Minty Disaster

While mouthwash might seem like an intriguing way to enhance the flavor of your smoke, it’s a bad idea. Even if you opt for alcohol-free mouthwash, it still contains chemicals that don’t mix well with smoke. The minty freshness may sound appealing, but combining it with cannabis smoke results in an uncomfortable, burning sensation in your lungs. Moreover, mouthwash doesn’t filter smoke or improve your experience in any meaningful way. In fact, it could leave you coughing and uncomfortable for the rest of the session.

The worst part? Mouthwash can also stain your bong and leave behind a funky residue that’s tough to clean.

3. Milk – Not as “Smooth” as You Think

Some cannabis enthusiasts have experimented with using milk in their bongs, hoping to achieve that elusive "milky" hit. While it may sound fun, this is a recipe for disaster. Milk is not only fat-soluble, which means it will trap a significant amount of THC in the water, but it’s also a mess to clean. The bubbles in milk quickly expand, creating a mess that clogs up your bong and makes it nearly impossible to clean effectively.

The worst part? When your milk gets mixed with resin, it forms a sticky, disgusting residue that you’ll have to scrub out for hours. Milk-based bong water is not a fun experience, and it can turn your smoking session into a nightmare.

4. Fruit Juice – Sweet in Theory, Sticky in Reality

Using fruit juice in your bong may seem harmless, but it’s actually a big mistake. Most fruit juices are packed with sugar, and as your smoke bubbles through the juice, that sugar will stick to your bong and create a sticky mess. Cleaning this residue from your glass is a hassle, and over time, it can even cause staining.

Additionally, fruit juice can leave behind a lingering flavor that might overpower the taste of your cannabis. If you’re looking to add some flavor to your session, consider using flavored water or citrus-infused water instead—without the mess and stickiness.

5. Ranch Dressing – Why Would You Do This?

If there’s one liquid you should never put in your bong, it’s ranch dressing. Yes, you read that right. Someone actually tried it, and the results were as horrific as you’d imagine. Ranch dressing doesn’t just make your bong smell terrible; it’s also a nightmare to clean. The fatty residue left behind clogs up your percolators and ruins your smoking experience.

Moreover, it doesn’t provide any additional filtration or flavor enhancement. This experiment serves as a cautionary tale about what happens when you take cannabis experimentation too far.

Safer Alternatives: Liquids You Can Experiment With

Now that we’ve gone over the worst offenders, here are a few liquids that can actually improve your smoking experience:

1. Hot Water – Some cannabis enthusiasts use hot water to create steam, which they believe helps smooth out their hits. While the health benefits are debatable, this is a safe, simple way to alter your smoking setup without risking damage to your bong.

2. Unsweetened Cranberry Juice – This juice has acidic properties that can actually help keep your bong cleaner for longer. It won't impart any strong flavor, but it’ll give your session a clean, refreshing look.

3. Sparkling Water – For a subtle hint of flavor and a fizzy experience, try using sparkling water. The carbonation adds a unique texture to your hits, making it a fun (and safe) experiment for any cannabis enthusiast looking for something new.

Conclusion: Stick to What Works

While experimenting with bong water substitutes may seem like fun, it’s crucial to remember that some liquids can severely impact the taste, cleanliness, and longevity of your water pipe. Stick to safe, reliable options like water, and consider trying sparkling water or unsweetened cranberry juice for a unique twist. Always prioritize your bong’s health and the quality of your smoking session.

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