about two years ago, i posted a pastebin-esque text asking for financial support because of the position i was in just before starting grad school. the support i recieved was incredible and almost overwhelming - but i made good use of it all, and i cannot thank you guys enough.
i am currently in one of those weird transition periods again, except this time is kind of worse. and even more embarassing. but instead of something bad happening to me, or some sort of an emergency occuring, i simply fucked up. i had mismanaged my money and found myself trying to hardfocus on getting a teaching job. i ended up spending the entire summer working on finding a teaching job and not enough time doing the thing that realistically made the most sense - finding ANY job, especially within the area. I had big dreams to move to boston and be a teacher there, assuming that there wasn't much for me here to do. but i was running out of money and resources, and by the time it had happened, it was too late for me to even start saving. now, i get that this is a common occurence for young people to be broke and ambitious, so i am doing my best to forgive myself, but i left myself with very little to fall back on knowing damn well i had no immediate family to go home to. i moved out of my apartment on july 31st with no job, no apartment, and barely any money. i have already recieved a ton of help and financial support from close friends and friends of my mother, so please do not feel pressured to donate to me, especially since i partially did this to myself. this is mostly about me sharing my experiences and taking accountability for my mistakes. speaking of my mistakes, where the hell did i end up?
i write to you now from a homeless shelter that i've been staying at since monday. it's been really nice - dinner is provided, they have a huge bag of bagels that stock once per week, i have a place to sleep, and the resources they provide and direct me to have been really great. it's also completely changed my perspective on everything, even the tiniest of things. each meal i have feels like a lifeline, and every bus ride and walk i take to work has so much more beauty inside of it. instead of being stuck in an apartment with nothing to do but look for jobs and play minecraft, i've instead been constantly working on doing my best every single day. i have been wearing the same outfit for 3 days and my feet ache but life has never felt more fulfilling - because i'm actually doing something!!! i will post pictures of my walk to work this morning in the replies of this tweet, and i hope you find it as breathtaking as i did.
the only downside to the shelter is that i am asked to leave the property with all of my belongings by 8 am each morning (which is a backpack with nothing but the essentials), but instead of dragging it to work i've found places around the college campus nearby to store it, so shhh don't tell anyone. i've also spent most of my days applying to jobs and doing research on what help is available around me. i plan to apply for a loan for a used car and get one by the end of the month to make my commute to work easier. and best of all, i got a job! i was hired on tuesday to work at a liquor store and my first shift was today. my manager is chill as fuck and is super in tune with his system of running the store, so i feel very lucky to work there even if im just selling lottery tickets and alcohol. i am also actively looking for a second job, because what the fuck else is there to do, but also because i found a place to rent. and i need the money to pay for it.
this week, i got approved for an apartment for 900 a month, and it's a nice place. it isn't furnished, so ill have to snag a mattress off of facebook marketplace, but i think it completely solos having to pay what i used to pay for an apartment (1550 a month. plus fees. not joking. why did i choose to live there??????). anyways, my move in price is high (they want MORE money from me because of my income not being high enough, which i think is really fucking stupid lol), and september feels like it's already here despite it being 5 days into the month of august. however, i refuse to give up and let life chew me up then spit me out. i may write another update soon because of how quickly everything changes these days, but for now i will continue to rack up hours being the best liquor salesman that massachusetts has ever seen (despite weed being my drug of choice).
like the last time i crowdfunded, i'll put my paypal / venmo in the comments and leave this post up indefinitely as accountability. to anyone that feels compelled to help me out in any way: i promise to not be stupid with the money you give me and the time you spent reading this, especially since i have learned so much in the last few days. it will all work out regardless, but in a time where the only thing i can do is advocate for myself, i thought i would do that on here too (since a lot of you are people i consider my good friends, and you deserve to know how im doing).
TLDR: this man gucci'd down to the socks but need 4 dollars.