1. Is his career settled enough for the financial hit he’s about to take? If he’s in career-building mode, he won’t have the time to be a good
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father, nor the money. Does he understand this commitment?
2. Did he have loving, consistent, and respectful parents himself? We parent the way we were parented. Good fathers are not born, they are created by good mothers. If he harbors residual anger toward Mom and/or Dad, he may need some therapy to work through those issues before he transfers his dysfunctional family dynamics to a new generation.
3. Is he ready? Is his peer group having babies yet? How involved are they? What does he say when you ask him the question about having kids? If his answer
er is “someday” then believe him -- it’s not this day!
4. How does he treat animals? Are dogs all about roughhousing for his enjoyment, or does he cuddle and console them as well? If he’s puppy love, that’s a good sign.
5. How does he react to you when you are feeling
ing like a baby? Do your PMS crying jag bring out consoling in him or does it make him angry or avoidant? If he becomes impatient with displays of emotions, he’ll have a hard time being empathetic with a baby whose emotions are completely amplified.
6. Has he ever made a negative comment about men who wear babies in slings? If he snickers at PDFs (Public Displays of Fatherhood) then good fathers are not role models to him. He needs to identify with great fathers to become one.
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