I had the most wonderful dream.
A voice, an echo of a thousand whispers beckoned me closer. Where I was, I don’t know or care, but I followed it. I was thirsty, tired, incomplete and without purpose. I walked and crawled until all my fingers bled, I cried and screamed until I could no longer make a noise. And yet I kept on going, towards the voice, towards the darkness.
An eternity (a second? a lifetime?) later, I knew I was there. They fell silent, and welcomed me in.
I could Feel them, all around me. More a part of me than my own skin and bone. They kept digging, eating away. I didn’t care, my eyes were only focused ahead and all my senses were dulled.
They spoke again.
“The God you seek is not of your understanding, child”.
A million crawling things began to pull me in.
“The God you seek is omnipresent, cruel, marvellous. The God is not God”.
I don’t care, I don’t care, let me in. Let me in. Let me in.
“The God wants you. Do you want God, child?”
I would have nodded, if I had a head to nod with. I would have smiled, I would have kneeled, but I was lost in wings and dirt and eyes and legs and I knew this was it. This was the sacrificial ecstasy, this was my martyrdom, this was my revelation.
“Then let it be You”.