Introduction

In the world of narcissistic abuse, the term “flying monkeys” refers to individuals who are used by a narcissist to carry out their manipulation and control. Much like the Wicked Witch’s flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, these people act on behalf of the narcissist, often unknowingly, to harm or control the narcissist’s target. Understanding who flying monkeys are and how they operate is essential for anyone navigating relationships with narcissists.

What Are Flying Monkeys?

Flying monkeys are people who enable a narcissist’s abusive behavior by taking sides, spreading misinformation, or reinforcing the narcissist’s narrative. Often, they are close friends, family members, or even coworkers who may not realize they are being manipulated by the narcissist. However, their actions can amplify the damage done to the narcissist’s victim.

Common Ways Flying Monkeys Operate:

1. Monitoring the Victim: Some flying monkeys will keep tabs on the victim and report back to the narcissist, feeding them information about the victim’s whereabouts or actions. 
2. Guilt-Tripping the Victim: They may guilt or pressure the victim to forgive the narcissist or return to the relationship, framing the narcissist as the “real victim.”
3. Enabling Abusive Behavior: By ignoring or downplaying the narcissist’s behavior, flying monkeys help the narcissist maintain their control and manipulation.
4. Flying monkeys can be just as harmful as the narcissist, as their actions often keep the victim trapped in the toxic cycle of abuse.

Why Do People Become Flying Monkeys?

Flying monkeys may act out of loyalty, fear, or because they’ve been manipulated themselves. Narcissists are often very charming and can convince others that they are the real victim in any conflict, leading flying monkeys to believe they are defending a misunderstood or wronged person. In many cases, flying monkeys are unaware of the full scope of the abuse and manipulation happening behind the scenes.

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