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The life and crimes of Bert

Hi everyone!

 

I was recently contacted by niSmO and asked if I wanted to give an interview with regards to his part 1, part 2, and part 3 exposure of BrigadierDog. Let me just state that I wouldn’t trust niSmO as far as I can throw him, and I think someone sewed his ass to his face to make him look better. However, he has proven himself to be somewhat of a useful idiot, so I’ll give him the time of day.

 

My premise for doing this interview was simple: send me the questions, and I’ll answer and publish the interview. You have my permission to republish this interview in your own journal. I won’t be seen in your circles, so you can forget about any follow-up questions. Without further ado, here are the questions that niSmO and his cronies wanted me to answer:

 

Hi Monty on the Run, thank you so much for doing this interview! Can you please start off by telling us a bit about yourself, your background, and your role in ET?

 

Not sure what you’re looking for here exactly, but let’s stick to ET:

 

I am a 17 year veteran of RTCW/ET. I am the first one on the field, and I am the last one to step off the field. I leave no man behind. I will defend ET until my last breath – even if one day I’m hooked up to a machine in the hospital. I’ll always find a way to play ET. I am ET royalty.

 

I’m often described as a “specialist” (although in not so nice terms), which is why my moniker is “I am the best in the world at what I do”. Players rarely dispute this claim, but they have attached notions of superiority based on headshot accuracy. To me it’s both a challenge and a privilege to bruise these players’ egos and be the subject of their nightmares.

 

We’ve talked about your distain for BrigadierDog. What is it about him that irks you so much?

 

Who’s BrigadierDog? BrigadierDog died 11 months ago when he became the first player in (HBC)’s then 14 year old history to receive a dishonorable discharge from their clan. Nowadays he uses the nick RaMMsteiN, but it’s only a matter of time before he comes up with another alias. (update 5th June 2020: on the same day that his IP visited this blog, he changed his nickname to that of his favorite beer: VELTINS. This is in line with the pattern mentioned 3 paragraphs below)

 

Let’s just call him by his real name – Bert - and what he is: a lickspittle. Bert lives in a one-horse town called Meppel in the Netherlands, where he is known as the village idiot. He has a mule for a girlfriend, and an occupation of being a prison guard (dutifully checking on each cell to see if the inmates need any ammo). His favorite music to rock out to is ABBA. His main recreational activity is drinking beer (more on that later).

 

Here we have a picture of old geezer Bert, squinting into the distance for his next victim. When studying the face of Bert, we see that it ticks all the 7 boxes that detects anger microexpression. Typical character traits here are low level of trustworthiness and high aggression.

 

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I’ll give you the sordid tale about Bert and his ET path of destruction. Notice two patterns as we go along: after each received ban/embarassment, he changes his nickname. Then he chooses the community available to him that has the highest amount of server traffic.

 

2004-2007, playing as DASBOOT on some Dutch server.

 

 

This was back when there was a myriad of ET servers to choose from. All I remember about this Dutch server was that it was highly populated, and that Bert wreaked havoc. At this stage Bert hadn’t started his ammo dispenser XP-whore tactic, and was trying to play like a normal person. That didn’t work too well for him. Soon enough he began lashing out at everyone. Deliberate teamkills, foul language, and long pauses between each defeat. We figured these were just the hardships of a teenager with hormones out of control. Little did we know that at this time he was in his late 30s.

 

Bert learned something from the years he spent on this Dutch server that he would take with him for the next 12 years, and that was that his deliberate teamkilling would lead to kickvotes against him. Like a serial killer, he knew he couldn’t stop these temper tantrums from happening. The challenge then became for Bert (as they would for any serial killer): how to satisfy his own urges without receiving punishment? Bert would find a solution to this at his next stop.

 

2008-2010, playing as DASBOOT on Fatal Punishers server.

 

 

The [fP] clan was an interesting one, because despite its popularity it lacked enough money donations to stay afloat. That’s why when you donated there you were immediately given kick protection and referee status – no questions asked. Bert quickly picked up on this and started funding the server like the slut that he is. Giving Bert the run of the show was like letting a three-year old be in charge of your life.

 

It didn’t take long before complaints started popping up on their forum. One in particular was when a young shook-up teenager came on the forum and said he had just been called a “wanker” by one of the referees. One of the senior members of [fP] responded and said they would launch their own investigation, before adding: “although I prob don’t have to – pretty good idea who it was”. The investigation showed that Bert had become well known for his outbursts, as well as for using his referee privileges only to protect his own axi team (as means of self-preservation). The accusation was that “boot” is a little “predictable” when it comes to “passing votes when axis are on the ropes but not passing if the reverse is true”. It also didn’t help Bert that he was viewed as being ”thickheaded” and a ”spammer”. One regular player summed up Bert's attitude towards being a referee perfectly: "and i remember a few weeks ago there was this guy saying something about "this is as fun as dying of aids" or soemthing, and when i asked you to kick for that, you told me to spend money and start kicking ppl myself!" 

 

On July 15 2010 Bert was unceremoniously banned from ever again playing on the [fP] server. The next day Bert wrote on their forum: “i like to play again and i will behave for the rest of my life so i hope that you will take my appolosi”.

 

At this point I had been around Bert for 6 years and knew that he was rotten to the core. The way he talked to people, it didn’t matter if it was a young teenager or a sweet old lady - they were all met with the same vicious contempt. I therefore had great concern when I saw where his next stop would be – a place that I call “home”.

 

2010-2012, playing as RaTTaTouiLE on [!!!]Hirntot server.

 

 

Whatever damage Bert had caused in the ET community so far, it would pale in comparison to the shitstorm that was about to be unleashed on [!!!]Hirntot. Perhaps Bert thought it wouldn’t matter if he got banned here as well, as he could always just go to a new server. We’ll never know.

 

First thing to note about this period is that money donations are king. Some of the members of the [!!!]Hirntot clan had been a part of other servers that had folded overnight due to lack of funding. The fear always played in the back of their minds the same could happen on [!!!]Hirntot. This played in perfectly to the self-safety of Bert, as I will explain in the next couple of paragraphs.

 

Bert hadn’t learned anything from his [fP] experience. The first thing he did when he showed up to [!!!]Hirntot was to donate a bunch of money in order to receive the level upgrade that enabled kickprotection. He kept donating and donating and before you knew it, he was also a referee. Same story then repeats itself, and he is demoted/barred from refereeing the server.

 

The curious thing however is that Bert does not have his level priviledges removed here at first. Despite [!!!]Hirntot being the most strict community on the scene, and despite Bert being the most notorious rulebreaker on server, he is allowed to keep his kickprotection. When I ask why he is still protected, no one will tell me why and no one try to defend him. When I look at the donator list, it seems Bert is by far the clan’s biggest contributor - a regular sugardaddy. Could it be the that the reason why he remains bulletproof is because of his continuous money donations?

 

[!!!]Hirntot is my home and I play there almost every night. As chance would have it, I also prefer the same fops class that Bert plays exclusively. As (HBC) member KiSsMySeXyAsS would later explain in great detail, this makes me a “bad competitor fops” in Bert’s eyes and a prime target for his abuse.

 

So, we get to a stage in middle of 2012 when myself and others playing fops are getting teamkilled on a nightly basis by this twerp. For no other reason than using the arty charge that he was planning on using. As he’s leaving server it’s his signature to do a few teamkills, and then for good measure rub it in via chat. I say to myself: “this shit has gone on long enough. I need to start documenting it”.

 

For the next 3-4 months I record all the games I play on server, and upload to [!!!]Hirntot forum every time I catch him breaking rules and saying stuff that goes against community rules. The thread on RaTTaTouiLE eventually has like 5 pages of screenshot and demo evidence against him. It’s a shame I can’t show it to you, because the forum went down and the only thing viewable via web.archive.org is the frontpage.

 

Page after page of evidence posted on the [!!!]Hirntot forum, and the reaction it gets by some of the clan members is nothing short of astounding. They lambast me for taking the time to write all this stuff, and seem genuinely upset that someone is finally taking the time to publicly expose him. Bert eventually gets a few temp-bans for his misbehavior, but no progress is made towards revoking his kickvote protection.

 

I start to crank up the heat on forum, and tell the [!!!]Hirntot admins under no uncertain terms that if RaTTaTouiLE is allowed to continue to break every rule you set in front of him, while at the same you continue to accept his donations, “then it will only show that Hirntot is corrupt”. This really drew the ire of some of the members, and I received backlash like you wouldn’t believe. Still, was my comment that far off though? If with one hand you hold out a stern finger and tell him to “behave”, while at the same time you hold out the other hand and accept his money, doesn’t that smell like corruption? Bert certainly thought they were corrupt, because while serving one of his temp-bans, he would write on the old [!!!]Hirntot forum: “I’d like to give some money to the server and play again”.

 

As mentioned, Bert receives temp-ban after temp-ban on [!!!]Hirntot. Even he is smart enough to realize that as a compulsive serial killer his time could be coming to an end here as well. By the time we get to November 2012 he must be really sweating, because now for the first time he comes into the [!!!]Hirntot IRC-channel, looking for a friend to comfort him. I spot him, and think to myself: “let’s pose as that friend and see what he has to say”. At this point he hadn’t really said anything on forum, so I was curious to see how he would assess his own situation. I change my nick and PM the idiot.

 

What followed from my private conversation with Bert had my jaw dropped to the floor. Turns out Bert didn’t grasp the situation he was in at all. As far as he was concerned, the [!!!]Hirntot admins had betrayed him for allowing Monty on the Run to “write that post”. Bert couldn’t believe he was receiving temp-bans when in fact he was a donator. He then spouted off some irrational nonsense about him and [!!!]Hirntot server owner [!!!]Harlekin being “old admin friends” (presumably because Bert got to referee the [fP] server for a few months), before rounding off his sobbing ramblings by saying: “they like Monty and not me”.

 

On November 25 2012, Bert received his perm-ban from [!!!]Hirntot, becoming the first player in ET history to be perm-banned for misbehavior on both [fP] and [!!!]Hirntot. At this point in his life he is 45 years old, while most think he is closer to 15. “thx for al the good time play bye bye” and off we go to the next stop.

 

2012-2019, playing as BrigadierDog on Hemesta Boys Crew server. 

 

 

As with most serial killers, Bert goes back to the crime scene and tries to relive his crimes. It therefore came as no surprise when on December 9th 2012 he tried to crawl his way back to [fP]. The silence from the [fP] hierarchy said it all, but at least one regular player wanted to chime in: “Judging by the way you behave on Hirntot server you haven’t changed a bit Das boot”.

 

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Bert’s next stop then had to be (HBC). The vibe there is a lot more liberal and accepting. Most of their admins smoke weed and listen to Bob Marley as they play. It’s a place where all convicts are allowed in. Think of it as an Australian penal colony from 1793. Surely Bert can’t find a way to mess up here too?

 

The first thing Bert has his eyes on at (HBC) is of course the kickvote protection. No use in being an asshole if players can just kick you for it. To get his kickvote protection he has to become a member, and the only way to become a member is to be voted in by the other members. Charm offensive is now in full effect. Whenever there’s a player with the (HBC) clan tag arriving on server, the puppy-eyed BrigadierDog will greet them as a long-lost friend. Free beers are offered, and daily PMs are sent to these members asking when they will accept him.

 

I basically tell the (HBC) top brass: “you know this guy is the devil, right? You’re going to fall for his phony shit?” I get in reply that they are well aware of his past, but that it’s what happens on their server that will be used to judge him. Few weeks later I read on the (HBC) forum that they have made the BrigadierDog a member “so that he can stop asking”.

 

I periodically check in on (HBC) to see what referee abuse Bert is up to, and he doesn’t disappoint. Skipping maps that are indoors with roof (because here he cannot call his arty), refusing to do anything to even up teams if it’s his own axi team with the numerical advantage, kicking players because he thinks they are spawnkilling (having not spent a second reading the server rules), muting players who write “lol” because of how poor he plays, and verbally taunting these same players while they cannot answer back.

 

Then the cherry on the cake: one of the weed-smoking admins let it slip that Bert had already received a formal warning for how he spoke to one of the clan’s female members. To actually receive a formal warning from (HBC) you will have had to fuck up royally.

 

Bert was once again removed as referee on a server (completing his hattrick), and I knew at that point that it would be better to have him toil in his own misery at (HBC) as opposed to have him moved to a new stop. At (HBC) he was in his deserved element: smack in the middle of a bunch of convicts who gave no second thought as to whether he deserved a beating or not. The prison guard who was abusing the convicts with his stick had now become a convict himself. He was their bitch.

 

In June 2019 Bert finally managed to get himself stripped of all rank at (HBC), and I thought the piece you wrote on this feel good moment was most excellent. Leave it to (HBC) server owner (HBC)LABRAT to describe how he feels about Bert: "I could strangle him".

 

4th May 2020 I made a post on the (HBC) forum, alerting them that Bert was again wearing the (HBC) clan tag – despite having been kicked out of the clan and warned that wearing the tag would be met with severe consequence. I know this is something you, niSmO, have your beady eyes locked on. Please continue to be a useful idiot and report on any development here.

 

22 February 2019-present, playing as RaMMsteiN on [!!!]Hirntot server. 

 

 

He was allowed back, but this time under different circumstance. No bribes accepted, immediate Dork level after his first couple of teamkills, and for a while he was even barred from playing fops.

 

The real kicker are the scripts that are now implemented to keep the toad on his toes. First, an ammo script that confiscates his ammo packs if all he does is hide in own spawn and give ammo. The first couple of times this happened to him he couldn’t believe it. “who is fucking with me” he demanded to know. Second, a script that moves him spec if he tries to join an axi team that I am already in. This is just great, because it turns out Bert would rather leave server than have to play allies.

 

In the case of Brigadier BOOT RaMMsteiN RaT, all favors and goodwill chips are used up. If he was drowning, most wouldn’t even throw him a life jacket. Bert is seen for what he is: a leech and a liar. Which is kind of ironic when you think about it, because Bert had it figured that his continuous money donations would make him somewhat of a saint in the ET community.

 

Bert has donated thousands of Euros to the above-mentioned servers throughout his 16-year ET path of destruction. It’s the sort of money that would have allowed him to travel and see Europe several times. I wonder what he thinks about this now. Was it all worth it to him? This is the type of hard-hitting question that niSmO and his cronies should be asking BrigadierDog (the world’s biggest backstabber).

 

Is there one incident with the BrigadierDog that stands out above the rest?

 

There is, actually. Many years ago, when Bert had just been barred from refereeing the (HBC) server, he received some deserved ridicule when playing. With him no longer being able to push the mute button to silence his detractors, Bert now had to endure like the rest of us.

 

This shook the now hapless BrigadierDog (loved that line), so one day a new face showed up on the (HBC) server. It was that thing he calls a girlfriend. She contacted me privately and told me her BrigadierDog was laying on the couch sobbing and didn’t want to come to the computer. She asked if I could take it easy on him, or preferably leave.

 

The mental image of Bert laying on his couch sobbing gave me a chuckle. Here you had a 50 year old man acting like a petulant child. His girlfriend probably just wanted him off the couch so she could watch her favorite TV-show.

 

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Do you ever think you go too far? Where do you draw the line?

 

With relates to Bert you mean? No, I don’t think I go too far with him.

 

Bert is a man who is able to function in society: he has a steady job, a girlfriend, a daughter, and he drives an Audi A3. If there was any sign of Bert having Down’s syndrome or any other sort of mental incapacity, then I would have drawn the line.

 

Bert chose to be evil from the minute he stepped onto the battlefield in 2004. No one in the ET community made him that way. Well I am not afraid to look evil in the eye and deal with it.

 

If Bert does have some sort of underlying issue, then it’s probably that he becomes abusive when he’s had one too many beers. At least, that is the theory by one who claims to know him. To me this seems easy to fix: don’t drink alcohol while you play ET and you won’t get banned.

 

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Monty, you sound like a right old moaner. Do you revel in being a prick?

 

First of all, I’m not that old. If pointing out obvious hypocrisy makes me a prick, then so be it. At least I’m honest.

 

The key point to understand Monty on the Run is that I don’t consider rank when addressing anyone in the ET community. I speak the same way to a server admin as I would to a low newbie. I only consider what they are saying, and their motivation for saying it. Many are taken aback by this approach. I like to think of myself as the moral compass of ET.

 

Do you have any pets?

 

I used to have a python snake, but he’s been missing for 5 months. When I was a young boy, I had sheep as pets – as opposed to Zeta who claim them as his wife.

 

Is there anything we haven’t asked you that you would like to address?

 

Yes, I have a question I would like to ask you, niSmO:

 

Was it not you who sent me a PM on the old (HBC) forum many years ago, saying you were starting up the IDIOTS-clan and you saw me as a natural fit? I was about to accept you know, but then some bird told me that the proposition also included naked saunas and jacuzzi together. That’s fine if that’s who you guys are, but it’s not for me. And another thing, niSmO: I know it takes extra Novocain to knock ginger nuts like you out, but I bet I could do it with one slap.

 

 

6th of May 2020.

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