Prologue
She ran.
And ran.
She couldn't stop now.
And she wouldn't stop now.
Must be there, was the only thing she could think about.
Must be there in time.
Yes, that was the only thing that mattered.
Her paw pads were bleeding, and her lungs screeched for fresh air, but she had to go on.
She had to.
Today was her only chance, her only chance to do it.
She didn't even know where it was or what she would do there, but she knew she needed to be there.
She vaguely remembered that she had once known what would come now, but she didn't remember it anymore.
Remembering. I don't remember anything, she realised.
She didn't even remember her own name.
But she didn't have time to think now.
She kept running.
She didn't know how many hours had passed when she finally reached it, but it sure was a long time, and she was absolutely exhausted.
She felt so happy that she was there now, but she also felt some kind of... dissapointment.
She had reached her great goal...
But what now?, she thought.
'Ah, you're just in time', a voice behind her mewed.
'This was all I wanted... I have nothing now!', she cried, and without realising who this new cat was, she pressed her fur against his.
'Back off, you stupid mousebrain!', he growled. 'And don't worry... now you have reached this place, now your life isn't important anymore, I am willingly... to take it', he added with a voice full of malicious pleasure.
But she didn't pay attention to that.
All she could think of was how nice it would be to be rid of this useless life.
'Yes, yes, please!', she begged him.
'Well, then jump in that volcano', he instructed.
So, she took a few steps to the hot lava, and stared at it in admiration.
'Well, jump', the tom said.
'Yes, yes I will! Thank you!', she meowed.
And then, she let her body fall down, deeper and deeper.
'Thank you! Thank you so much!', she yelled, and then, she got all under the lava.
'Goodbye, Silverpaw', he laughed, while the apprentice was probably dead by now.
Chapter 1
'What's your fur color?', Shadowpaw asked Eaglepaw.
'Red!', the other apprentice answered.
'Are you a fox?', Swanpaw wanted to know.
'Awww, I was just going to say that!', Sunpaw exclaimed.
'Well, you're right!', Eaglepaw meowed.
The four apprentices laid down in the warmth of a greenleaf sun, enjoying their day off.
In BlackClan, apprentices didn't need to work one day in the quarter moon, and they were all very happy with that.
The rule was made by Hollystar, the leader before their current leader, Vinestar.
Shadowpaw felt a stab of pain when she remembered the sweet she-cat.
Hollystar was her mother.
She had died short after her daughter's apprentice ceremony, and even now three moons had passed, Shadowpaw still missed her.
The only times that she was happy was when she did things with her friends and was distracted for a while.
She didn't even have her brother to grieve with her.
Fernkit was dead too, 5 moons after his birth he starved during the last moon of leafbare.
Hollystar had another son, Vinestar, and two daughters, but they were many moons older than Shadowpaw and practically never talked to her.
Hollystar had made the rule about the apprentices' day off when her first three kits were 'paws, because she saw that it was much healthier and nicer not to work every day.
'Okay Swanpaw, now you are an animal and we guess!', Eaglepaw interrupted Shadowpaw's thoughts, but she was actually really happy that she could play guess that animal with her friends instead of torturing herself by thinking about her dead mother.
I love my friends, she thought.
'Shadowpaw! Wake up!', Morninglight called.
'Just five more minutes...', the apprentice mumbled to her mentor.
'Sorry Shadowpaw, but it's time for training!', the calico she-cat said.
'Okay then...', the young black she-cat sighed, and she eventually dragged herself out of the den.
Why can't we train a bit later?, she wondered.
Shadowpaw wasn't a morning person.
Her friends had no problems with waking up early, but she hated it.
'What are we going to do?', Eaglepaw asked.
'You're going to help Roseleaf today!', her mentor, Moonecho told the apprentices.
'Yes! I like that!', Eaglepaw said.
Shadowpaw knew that her friend was doubting whether she would become a medicine cat or a warrior later.
On one paw, she really liked the work more than memorizing hunting techniques and exhausting herself with fighting moves, but on the other paw, she didn't want to wake up in the night to help someone.
Shadowpaw hated medicine cat work.
She was uncomfortable when touching other cats and felt sick when she saw blood.
The green-eyed she-cat wanted to learn more about the history of BlackClan and later pass it on the new Clan members.
But the whole friend group agreed about one thing: Roseleaf was horrible.
He never talked to anyone and just rotted in his den, he always needed to have things his way, and the only things he ever said were grumpy words.
'Come on, he'll be waiting for you', Morninglight said, so they trotted to the medicine den.
'Wash your paws', Roseleaf mumbled before they came in.
'Fine, fine', Eaglepaw mumbled, not loud enough for the medicine cat to hear.
When their feet were all clean, the white spotted tom meowed: 'Now sort these while I throw away the old herbs', and he dumped some marigold, yarrow, daisy and sorrel in front of the apprentices.
Eaglepaw eagerly started to sort them with few or no mistakes.
Shadowpaw and Sunpaw sometimes needed each other's help, but after a while they both finished their herb piles.
But then, they saw Swanpaw; she had, all on her own, sorted her herbs.
'Finally you're done! I'm really waiting for ages!', she grumbled.
'How are you always so smart? How?', Eaglepaw exclaimed.
'I don't know', Swanpaw replied.
'What are you drawing there?', Sunpaw asked, looking at what her friend had done after she finished her work.
'A little idea for the elders' den, I'm not done yet', the white she-cat explained.
Shadowpaw knew that since Swanpaw saw her father Brackensong design new ideas to improve the camp, she wanted to do that too later.
Sunpaw had more interest in animals and plants and how life worked.
All of the friends had different ambitions, it was only the question if they would survive long enough to make them true...