PenFETration101 - aka MrBUMCum's study guide to getting royally smashed in the ass.
Updated 7/7/2021
OK - tips for noobs that don't want to read a fucking BOOK.up front
First and foremost: There are any number of anal or vaginal training toys and plugs and ideally you should get into a sex shop if you can so you can 'eyeball it' and touch and feel things through the packaging to get an idea of what you are dealing with. Don't buy your very first toy on amazon.
This article presumes you have already bought yourself a toy or 5 and you know what's what.
If all you trying to do is train so that your significant other can smash your butt, A dialator set like this which goes to 2.0 -2.5 inches wide or a little more is a good start and PLENTY and ALL YOU NEED for most noobs to train. Add ONE 'cock like' toy that's about the same size they are using or even just a little bit bigger and you're all good.
The logic is VERY SIMPLE: Once you can take the plug or toys that is approx the SAME SIZE as your wiener life support system/ dick appointment / toy in the strapon harness - you are (almost) ready.
That's right. ALMOST. Just slow your roll, Satan.
Bear in mind that all your nights of solo playtime experience does not really equate to the real world throwing down with a living breathing fuck machine.
So JUST BECAUSE you can take the plug alone and on your own (but it still takes you 'warming up' with some of the smaller ones and it still takes you 10 minutes to get to the big one) does NOT mean you are ready for that first fucking - without it, or with the same amount of warmup. No. You need more.
Do not make the mistake of going in cold to your first dick or strapon appointment.
You have to do the same prep you do and maybe even a little more - especially if it's a kinky scene where you are facedown - assup cuffed to a spreader bar and ballgagged. .
Why? I am going to tell you. You will absolutely CLENCH DAFUQ UP in response to that first penetration that is either too quick (and compared to what you do, it's ALWAYS too quick unless they are super pro) or the whole rapid BANG BANG BANG right off the bat. Once you clench from fear, it's all downhill from there.
If your dick appointment is still but a Padawan learner in the ways of the ass force, do not let them run the **ass smash** show right off the bat.
NOOB ANAL SEX FOR FIRST TIME BOTTOMS.
Lay on your sides as if spooning. Whoever is receiving, scootch your butt back into you feel something poking you in teh buttocks, Now GRAB ONTO the weiner/toy WITH YOUR HAND AND SQUEEZE at the base and now YOU BACK INTO IT.
THEY DON'T FUCKING MOVE until you have it fully inserted and have done your 10 count or whatever you do and start rocking on it.
Once you are out of first gear and release your DEATH GRIP at the base of the wiener ( and this is recommended if it is a living wiener because it keeps them hard during those first few awkward moments. If they feel themselves starting to go soft, the natural response is what? THRUST. But if you are not ready - that's when the ASS TRAIN leaves the rails. So you squeeze them off at the base and things stay hard enough to git er dun.
Once you let them go, that's the signal. TIME TO GET YOUR FUCK ON.
Then they can go all fucking PORNSTAR RAWR on your ass.
Of course those that are doing the strapon thing do not need to worry about keeping the wood going. You literally have the rest of your life to get it done. So why rush?
Once you are able to insert a trainer or toy that is the same size as whatever's coming next in 15-30 seconds or less and bang away for a solid minute straight at 120 beats per minute - you are ready to move on.
Once you get beyond that you are getting into hardcore Pro/Power Bottom territory and no longer just 'practicing to make it easy for your partner to get all up in you gutz'
WHAT ABOUT LUBE?
If you are newish to doing anal and pushing boundaries - [This is the best stuff for noobs][https://amzn.to/39K6jBo]
PJUR "Back Door' or 'Analyse Me'.
I have used all the water based lubes (weak and dry up in a minute) and most of the silicone lubes are very thin and do not coat well so you get a higher friction than is optimal.
This stuff is thick, slippery as fuck and has an extra ingredient (jojoba oil) that is a natural relaxant (note: not a painkiller - just a muscle relaxer which is why it's used in massage oil)
Apply liberally to yourself inside and out with a finger, small toy or a lube 'syringe' type 'shooter' device and use fingers to spread it around and let it soak in for 10 minutes and then do your normal stretch and warmup - prepare to be surprised. It really does make a difference.
For those that are serious about it and have been trying to take that toy or your SO for the first time... this is the difference between OOOH and AHHHHHHH.
OKAY! That's the short version. For about 99% of you that's enough. You're done.
Buh bye. Get the fuck outta here before we corrupt your ass. Literally.
Looks around . . . It sure got quiet. We got rid of all the noobs. Yeah?
Ok. Freaks ready for school? Come the fuck on.
PREFACE: The first thing you learn when you go from noob to a PRO is how to
CLEAN DAT DIRTY FILTHY FUCKING ASS OF YOURS <---clicky
(OK - you NOOBS that didn't run and are still lurking - if I am being completely honest, you should probably absolutely have to read this. Nobody likes playing with noobs that DON'T KNOW THIS STUFF.)
SIDE STEP: FOR FOLKS WHO HAVE BIGTIME CRAMPING ISSUES WHEN CLEANING OUT.
I ran into a post in one of the groups that took me to this website where a colorectal doctor developed a scientific approach to creating a proper anal douche or enema for sexytime purposes.
Apparently he thinks good old water is not good enough and can actually damage you if you are a frequent flier sticking a hose up your ass and using quarts of water or a firehose (aka showershot) to clean out.
I have not tried it myself nor can I vouch for it but a quick read of it says it might be worth a look if you are a hardcore player and have had prior issues with cramping and such.
Now, to be completely candid, it sounds like a product in search of a problem to fix but I included it here just in case you have been around the block and have had issues and try as you might, can not seem to fix them.
Maybe give it a shot and see if you get some relief from what ails ya. I don't have a promo code or an affiliate link and I make no money on it (or anything else you see and read here or any other link you might click)
ANYWAY - YOU FILTHY FUCK - NOW YOU'RE (Somewhat) CLEAN. NOW WHAT?
NOW, for those of you who are not beginners and can already take a decent size toy and BE ALL YOU CAN BE and want to work up FAST to take a BIG TOY like BAM, TACALL BLACK BALLED, XL Jumbo Jacks Bad Dragon , Mr Hankey etc or even a fist or DOUBLE FIST and beyond without hurting yourself?
PRO-TIP #1: Buy the Biggest Plug you can just sit and camp on for hours
I would just camp out and sit on it as you would sit with your butt touching the balls of your feet so you can control the weight you are exerting and just slowly rock and grind on it while watching TV.
Do your normal warm up or play and then hop on.
When you get as far as it goes, back it off a tad and simply slip a finger or a skinny toy in alongside. I would go with fingers for easy control.
Now wiggle around and push, pull, stretch. FISH HOOK that ring and PULL the ring out and to the side and away from the center. one finger. HOOK AND PULL.
It's surprisingly pliable when you work on little sections and not try and turn a 2" ring into a 6 inch ring in one session by stretching in 360 degrees and all directions AT THE SAME TIME. You just focus on and work on little sections.
PHYSICS 101: WHY THIS WORKS: If you ever had to take a tires off a bicycle rim - no way could you just stretch the tire out in all directions and pull it off right?
NO. Instead you get out the little lever-tool to focus your leverage and stretch on small sections and then just rinse/repeat and go around the rim and the tire would pop right off, yeah?
**Same principle**
Except in this case, the tire IS YO ASS and the lever tool is your finger or small toy
Anyway. ONE LITTLE SECTION AT A TIME. GO AROUND AND AROUND. TUG. Stretch. Wiggle. SEESAW - fish hook and pull. Just MOVE THINGS AROUND.
But you go slooow. Seriously - you camp in front of the tv and watch Arrested Development reruns. Just stretch a little bit and go around the ring. Over and over. dozens of times.
Start with one finger and then if it feels ok, go for two. If it hurts, back off. If things dry up, drench everything with lube Once you're gone around a few times and can no longer refuse the calling of the dark side of the Force, pull finger or toy out from alongside and now just allow your weight to slowly drive you down ...impaling yourself as deeply as you can manage.
Feel that stretch? You got a little further than before didn't ya? Yes you DID you filthy slut. Rinse/repeat 3-4-5 times and then move on to the real reason you play and resist the urge to push it in your first / second/ third session.
But if you are trying to get a slightly larger toy in for the first time and want to know if your force training to become an ASS JEDI is working, then this is where you grab it and try and get the tip in.
Nope? s'ok Rome wasn't built in a day, you go back to the smaller toy and slide something in next door that's a little bigger and you stretch some more until you CAN get the next bigger toy in.
THAT'S IT. That's all there is to it. There you go. Rinse. Repeat. With a little patience, You will start to see results without pain. It's really that simple.
PRO-TIP # 2: Stop touching your wiener during these stretch-armstrong anal training sessions. Stop trying to get hard and enjoy yourself at the same time. Period. full stop.
Let me rephrase for the Fellas - don't touch your cock at all. NO PLAYING WITH YOUR JUNK. HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD. ANYWHERE BUT THERE.
I can only speak for myself on this and have to separate the fairer sex for the moment. Girls, your experience may vary. We clench everything to keep our wood going and fellas - we're gonna talk about this again further down.
DEPTH TRAINING
Very deep penetration above and beyond the rectum and through the inner sphincter around the corner and through the woods to grammas house primarily involves training that inner/upper sphincter to open up with soft, flexible and skinny-ish toys. Or a skilled top if you have the girth thing down pat - or have a very skinny human of slight build to shove their fist in you and slip a finger or three through and open you up that way.
The below presumes you are (forever) alone. =)
Couple things before you really start fooling around with depth.
Above all - it can be dangerous if you don't listen to your body or have ingested anything that would interfere with said senses. Dont' do it.
You have to REALLY Clean out the works. Enema bag. The whole bit.
no REALLY, a fuckton of lube (ok, at least a few ounces - can use the enema bag or syringe or lube shooter device) poured into you in the face down ass up position.
Protip: jojoba oil by itself first or Pjur Back Door lube has jojoba oil and extract incorporated in the product . Pjur analyse me has another relaxing ingredient as well.
Also - there is something about JLUBE, properly made, it's about the slipperiest stuff on the planet.
(BTW -HEADSUP ON VAG FISTERS: Jlube may not be a good idea for vag fisting unless you are going to do do the full douche clean afterwards as the product is mostly (75%) sugar and sugar in the vag can lead to massive yeast infections and other issues.
To train for the deep anal stuff, you need to start with a specific tool.
If you are just looking to spend money, Square Peg/ MR. S makes a very specific type of toy called a slink for this type of training
For those on a budget, you don't need to spend 100 bucks (or more) on it when a long skinny jelly dong or double dildo (1.0 - 1.5 inches wide or LESS) is a good fit.
The inexpensive version is here.
Now you just have to take your time and mess around with insertion angles but ideally you are looking to thread it up (kinda aim towards the back of your belly button) and then push it over to YOUR left (the person feeding it into you - would be their RIGHT)
PRO TIP: Laying on YOUR left side with your right knee pulled up may help you thread the needle - it's what the Docs do when you go for a colonoscopy and thread the scope up and through the upper ring so they can see whats going on up there in your guts.
Here's a pic so you can sorta visualize what you are dealing with when you thread it up in there.
When you see fisting pro anal bottoms that can take it elbow deep and beyond, that is what is going on - they got straightened out in a process that takes a very long time (years to really get into the upper arm and shoulder deep penetrations with larger full size humans)
It's fairly easy with a skinny and floppy toy, and you can do it easy in a few sessions of trial and error and some patience and then you work up from there.
A good top knows how to very slowly nudge and move things around and 'straighten you out' over the course of many (dozens, hundreds) of sessions so that your tunnel no longer hangs a hard right, it just goes straight in.
If you REALLY want to do the rectal rooter snake bit - something like this might be a good fit:
https://www.amazon.com/Hosed-Inch-Anal-Snake-Beaded/dp/B07DQCYTSP/ref=sr_1_23?dchild=1&keywords=The+Bump&qid=1598860732&s=hpc&sr=1-23
PROTECTING YOUR TOYS:
You generally want to put a rubber on your toys if there is ever any possibility that they will ever be used by others. Most toys are porous and do not wash up completely sterile and cooties grow. The toy may LOOK clean and FEEL clean, then you hand it to a girl and she comes down with a very nasty UTI at the minimum and land her in the hospital or worse.
Finally, a lot of the popular toys are made in China and have all sort of chemicals that can burn and cause problems. My Rascal Black Balled turned into a whole lot of burning love after a few months after the coating they spray on it to make it shiny (and protect you from the chemicals that burn ) wore off.
So you put a condom on it. The Magnum XL's are good for most toys up to 2.5 inches wide or so but will often break on a 3 inch wide toy on insertion - you might have a look at something like a **FEMALE CONDOM which is 3 inches wide and will handle about anything from a BAM , XL Jumbo , Great American Challenge , Bulldozer, the bigger TSX stuff like the GigaDong and MegaDong and everything in the 3-4 inch range.
Which brings me to ....
FISTING!
Gloves: Yes or no?
It's up to you but I myself have had a bad episode as a top and she ended up getting nicked which turned into an infection and an abscess the size of an orange and had to have surgery. (yes, scalpel on Vag - catheter, the whole bit)
So for me, it's a no brainer - NOOBS USE GLOVES. If you only knew what's under your fingernail beds and if you touch doorknobs and handles and shake hands - it just gets crazy.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do but there are too many bugs running around that do not respond to anti-biotics anymore to take these chances.
Plus the right glove knocks down the friction and the drag. Big things go into little things easier.
When it comes to NOOBS doing VAG or ANAL Fisting, if you are a bit of a germophobe and looking for 'above and beyond' I might also suggest a antibacterial lube like THIS
GLOVES
Some (most of) of the latex drugstore kind are not ideal for insertion and that was not their intended function.
They may be textured to allow a greater tactile sense for those in the medical profession actually handling scalpels etc.
They usually have baby powder or talc of some kind on them.
Tip from Waterwagon: Try Black Dragon gloves Powder free. Amazon link
Tip from Mistress D: I did notice the mention of sharp/ hard nails. the best way I have found to take care of that short of cutting them is to put cotton balls in the finger tips of the gloves. works for me. :D
For casual players and NOOBS you are pretty much set. Just add lube.
For pro handball players there are other resources on the web such as Twist My Arm
NOTE: I recently answered a post on this subject and one Domme who is well versed in using her fists lamented that she doesn't like to glove up but kinda has to because she refuses to cut her nails.
They make a tool for that and it's called fingerTIP gloves. No, really - it's a thing
You can cut them down to fit as you like - use the tip from Mistress D (Cotton balls) on top of your fingernails - wrap in gauze or tape - add a fingertip glove and you can go right in - the water's fine. If anyone needs a crash test dummy for this - I'm available and willing to do it, you know, for SCIENCE. Inquiring minds want to know.
LUBE: Everyone has the thing they swear by. From WET or EROS to J-Lube, Fist Powder and there are probably 50 brands now and (with the exception of Jlube and Fist powder and others of the ilk which you mix yourself) they tend to be expensive which may inhibit their use because you really need a LOT and squirting 1/2 a bottle of some $30 dollar lube gets crazy after a while.
I like J lube just from a economic standpoint. You can whip up a quart of the stuff for a couple bucks. A lot of people swear by JLube and it IS slippery as hell but being water based, tends to dry out quickly. Keep a spray bottle/mister with lukewarm water for re aplication.
A new product of this type is called FIST POWDER which is supposed to be JLUBE on crack, less stringy and approved for human internal use. (Jlube is actually a vet/farm product)
Have not tried the fistpowder but have extensive experience with Jlube and if it's all that, it's worth the 25 bucks at Amazon
For strictly anal Fisting, lots of folks SWEAR by CRISCO. YUP it's a very thick and greasy sort of thing and actually has a lot of drag and tends to slow you down but it also smooths things out a bit which can add a layer of comfort and knock down the edges and corners a bit.
If you don't feel like running out to a sex shop or waiting 3 days for the UPS truck - it's old school and if it's not in the house, it's on the shelf at about any grocery or corner drugstore.
Other popular lubes are EROS, GUN OIL , Boy Butter, and the list goes on.
BRING YOUR 'A GAME' - HANDBALL EDITION
But when you go 'all in on the handball court', you have to gear up. Some of these links may be dead but now you know what to search for.
From Mr S Leather : Elbow length gloves
MEO
SLAM DUNK LUBE is one you hear a lot about. Has clove oil in it which is another oil with relaxant properties without numbing you.
Jojoba oil is another relaxing oil. mix with your lube , open up and say ahhhhh.
For the folks going 'ALL IN' on the handball court , you really need to check out Chris Ward's guide to fisting - it's a must read
Also check out XOF FISTING WORLD
FOR FISTING TOPS WHO CAN'T QUITE BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE>
I find that once I have pushed my four fingers (stacked vertical) and those fingertips hit the far side, then I allow them to curl into a fist (keep thumb out) and just use that to stretch . I will rotate those fingers 90 degrees left and right (imagine TURNING A DOORKNOB) to OPEN THINGS UP.
Now, bring all your fingers to a POINT TUCK YOUR THUMB INTO the middle so that your thumb just about touches the last joint of your fingers before they meet your hand. [Look at the toy Sasha Grey uses on Belladonna in this clip][https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=293787302&t=1488] OR watch Bella teach Jenna Haze all about angles in [THIS CLIP][https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=140191713]
NOW. USE YOUR OTHER HAND to SQUEEZE and COMPRESS your bones in your hand by PINCHING the sides of your hand right about there your knuckles form a line across your hand.
Slowly screw your fingers left and right until you are buried to the hilt and you are 'hung up' on the fattest part of your hand. You are feeling for the point of least resistance. There is a BONE up top at 12 o clock but the rest of the ring is just skin.
Try to find where there is a little slack and put your weight on it and now USE YOUR OTHER HAND TO REALLY SQUEEZE and COMPRESS all the fingers and bones in your wrist closer together. Try to squeeze and PULL your outermost knuckles INWARD towwards the palm of your hand and then sueezer them up and own and towards the CENTER of the INSIDE of your hand.
You will feel the bones in your hand actually move and realign THIS REDUCES THE CROSS SECTION , MASS and CIRCUMFERENCE of your hand. We are dealing in 1/16th and 1/8 inch increments.
There is usually about a 1/2 to an inch or more of circumference that you can 'steal back' with this move.
Now, BRACE your penetrating arm and slowly lean into your bottom and put YOUR WEIGHT ON IT (ala Dolamite) and let your bottom feel the inexorable force pushing down at them as they start to crack open, COMPRESS YOUR FIST with your other hand and stabilize yourself.
Finally, back off and just SOAK YOUR HAND with lube, slip it in and out several times. now soak it again.
Now it's up to your bottom to run the show - all they have to do it push back a little and/or guide you - feed back to you on HOW MUCH WEIGHT TO PUT BEHIND YOUR FIST BORING INTO THEM.
You can alternate between using your other hand to squeeze the bones in your fist and trying to go in alongside and stretch that last little bit of the ring that need to give just a wee bit more before everything slides home in a rush of AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
PROTIP: some tops are scared to really bring it and some bottoms get a little too ouchie with the mouthie and you chicken out and don't get it done.
Some bottoms can take it but being a fist ornament and not in control does not allow them to push through. I can ride a road cone but the first time I got put in a sling with no warm up and my top punches her fist into me without breaking stride, I flipped out.
Moral: Sometimes you are better off letting the bottom run the show and you just provide the FIST.
FInd a bench, chair or stool of the right height so you can lay your arm flat across it , and bring your hand up and aim it at the ceiling so your bottom can STRADDLE you and have their opening just above where your fingertips end so they can just DROP and use their own WEIGHT to bring it down on you.
I bet if you can't bring the power to break on through - your bottom CAN.
And that, my friends is my advice as a top when you get hung up and just can't seem to push though. Added to the material.
RANDOM THOUGHTS.
POPPERS - (wiki)
I myself have never tried them. I understand they are popular with the cool kids on the hardcore underground playgrounds because they are a shortcut to relaxing and opening up when you don't have the luxury of just laying back and putting on a Earth, Wind & Fire album in the privacy of your home and running through your tantric routine. You're in a public playspace and folks are waiting their turn. You don't have 30 minutes. So you do your mini-workout , hop up in the sling or the crane HUUUUFFFFFFFFFF your bottle and prepare to get hollowed out by Godzilla.
I'm not that cool or that hardcore. I learned the way you just read about and by the time I heard about poppers, finding good poppers was such a pain in the ass that I took a pass.
Oh - One obvious NONO while using poppers is Viagra. You will end up in an ER.
** The Elusive 'ANAL ORGASM'**
2nd most popular question on fetlife = Noobs asking about the 'ANAL ONLY ORGASM' and the simple truth is - at least in my humble opinion, it doesn't exist in most men in any degree of force, frequency or attainability that registers on the meter.
Sure, you get turned into a dildo or fist ornament for an hour including a few jackhammer sessions, you may feel something and you may even feel strongly enough about it to CALL IT an orgasm but it's not the usual 'POP' that you are accustomed to and it's not a POP that satisfies you.
IMVO, your entire learned climax response is based on the evolutionary requirement of your penis being inserted into a vagina and thrust until orgasm and ejaculation.
While the stimulation from the prostate does add a LOT to the party - - but by itself you are just banging a gland until it oozes (or maybe you do get a spasm but that's not a 'POP -ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. Wheres my smokes?
That said - if it has been long enough, anything is possible. Especially if you are young and healthy and it's been a while. If you don't believe me, watch this video from TS Fluery
That is a load of jizz squirting out the top in response to (as far as I can tell) nothing more than being pounded in the ass by a fucking machine on BLAST). Looks like a smallish dildo that hits the spot perfectly on short strokes and just BAMBAMBAMBAM until she clenched down and nutted up.
For most folks - the presence of squirting white sticky stuff is enough proof of concept for them.
Don't have a fucking machine to pound you into a pool of cum glazed filth?
THE KEY IS TO ABSTAIN AS LONG AS YOU CAN
If you abstain from all sex, all fapping or climaxes for say, 30 days, you may discover that you can stick the tip of a hitachi magic wand up your ass, flip it on and watch your DNA splatter the wall but make no mistake - you were hard as a fucking rock and the vibration from the hitachi on HIGH also fills the need for Mr. Happy to have some stimulation as well. It doesn't take a helluva lot if you are on the young side of 40 and have not popped in 30 days.
But just to be sure, before you insert - do as much edging as you can stand to get the pumps primed good.
When you get to the point you can HEAR your pulse in your ears and watch your cock JUMP with each beat - you're probably about there - but 99.9999% of you will give in and KAPLOOEYEYYY long before you get there.
If you CAN actually abstain for 30 days , edge for a day or two after that and then stick a hitachi up your butt - do yourself a favor and once you have proven to yourself that you CAN do it - right before you go over the edge , do yourself a favor and don't waste what is sure to the best orgasm of your life.
FAP THE FUCK ON and launch your swimmers right off the face of the planet.
This is how you colonize other worlds. It's all about protecting humanity, science and furthering our species.
But for other 99.9999% of the population that isn't about to wait a fucking month and already desensitized by internet porn and already fapped 5 times this week and it's only TUESDAY......... if you WANT to actually pop and squirt and say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and reach for your smokes after, you have to include Mr. Happy.
So let's talk about that. Reality. The 99.999%
So HOW EXACTLY DO YOU BLOW YOUR LOAD RIGHT OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET with your ass being rammed at the same time?
Because for most of the noobish folks, it's a problem. Most dudes simply can not get and keep their wood while getting railed. It's just too much and without wood, it's very difficult to pop at all.
HOW TO CUM DURING FUCKING*
First time you try this- I really suggest you WAIT for a few days, if you are 40 or older ...maybe a little longer....a week or 2 or whatever it takes so that you are just DYING to pop. Just backed up.
So step one - get whatever it is that you are using for penetration IN.
Do your normal warmup and insert whatever you normally play with - your mainstream "GO TO" fucktoy.
Once you've got it in. STOP. DO . NOT. MOVE.
I MEAN, FORGET ABOUT IT.
You fucking lay there for 5/15/30 minutes or whatever it takes until the feeling you are being torn in two goes away.
Read a book. Watch a movie. No kidding. Take your mind off of 'it'.
Wait until the feeling of urgency goes away.
Now. Squeeze your KEGELS. CLAMP DOWN ON WHATEVER'S IN THERE.
CLENCH AS HARD AS YOU CAN.
First few times it feels like you're crippled. It hurts if you PUSH IT TOO HARD doesn't it? It's counter intuitive, your're already out of sorts and now you want to FLEX those muscles already stretched to their limit? Are you out of your mind?
You just have to loosen up a little and give the muscle some room to flex.
Slide a finger or something small as discussed above in alongside the toy and stretch around until you have 'created' a little slack - so to speak. LOOSEN THINGS UP A LITTLE. Remember the 'changing a bicycle tire' reference ? Same idea.
Get things nice and loose.
Now squeeze your Kegels again. CLAMP DOWN AND COUNT TO 5. (as you get better you hold for 10 and 15 and 20)
And again. And Again. And Again. KEEP GOING until you know you've got it.
My whole point is when you get to the point that *it no longer hurts at all to clench down on whatever it is that's in there * - you've got wood naturally.
Because that's the ONLY thing that was holding you back before..
Let me repeat - THAT WAS THE ONLY THING that was getting in your way.
Now that you can CLENCH DOWN ON IT AND GRIND IT OUT + GOOD WOOD,
That's the ballgame. Your only problem now will be lasting long enough and not blowing your load in 5 strokes to do a little edging and really popcorn the ceiling when you let the little swimmers fly.
TIP: KEGELS
The stronger they are , the harder your WOOD, the harder you bust and the harder and farther you squirt when you POP.
It's THAT SIMPLE.
You can do CLENCHING EXERCISES sitting at your desk looking at your computer screen, driving, waiting in line. Anytime.
You should be doing clenches until you can do 100 fast ones and then clench and HOLD for a 5 count x 10 reps and work your way up to a 10 count and 25 reps.
DO THAT and you will be amazed and what a huge difference it makes how hard you BUST in as little as a week.
Now it's time to get lubed (Mr Happy) up if this is a solo thing.
You could use whatever lube you already are using for your ass - but here I am going to tell you the single greatest jackoff lube on the planet.
There is nothing better. TRUST ME.
And what is this wonderful lube you ask?
HAWAIIAN TROPIC DARK TANNING OIL
Not lotion and not that dry spray crap. Get the exact stuff I linked to. NO SPF , JUST OIL.
BEST JO lube on the planet. It's slippery but it's not slick where you lose all the friction and fellas, you know what I'm talking about . FRICTION IS GOOD.
It warms to touch and scented.
Squirt a little in your palm and just surround yourself with your hand.
Relax. Take your time. Pop on a video now or think happy thoughts ;-)
Now gently squeeze tight and pull your hand and wiener OUT AND AWAY FROM YOUR BODY.
What just happened? Your kegels just flexed didn't they? Automatic.
It's like you're body saying 'Hey - where the fuck do YOU think you are going? GET BACK HERE!' and you clenched up and pulled back a tad.
Just keep squeezing and a little PULL or PULL so you get a little bit of friction - not a rapid up and down. Just SQUUEEEZE and PULL.
Think. SLOW, WARM, FRICTION.
Not fap fap fap fap fap at 120 beats per minute.
SIMPLY SQUEEZE TIGHT and GENTLY PULL OUT AND AWAY.
You can allow just a little 'slippage' to get just a little friction going where the nerve endings are most abundant but the idea is just to SURROUND YOURSELF WITH WARMTH AND SLIPPERINESS AND SQUEEZE AND PULL AWAY JUST A LITTLE SO YOU GET MAX FRICTION.
Take your mind of of it and enjoy what you watching on screen or the back of your eyeballs. Relax. No worries. Keep going until you feel things start moving down there.
NOW SQUEEZE YOUR KEGELS AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND HOLD THE CLENCH WHILE YOU DRIVE YOUR HIPS UPWARD OR FORWARDS SO YOUR WIENER PUSHES THROUGH YOUR FIST.
THIS IS THE CRITICAL 'CONNECT THE DOT' for your brain. YOU ARE CLENCHING UP AND DRIVING FORWARD AS YOU USUALLY WOULD IN VANILLA M/F PENETRATIVE SEX.
The first time you might feel a little silly. Don't. You are retraining your mind.
Keep going until you feel things perk up and keep working it up until you are hard. SQUEEZE with your kegel muscles HARD and you will feel things fill a little down there. Now CLENCH AND DRIVE FORWARD through your hand. KEEP CLENCHING as hard as you can. DO NOT move the toy yet.
If you prepped right and you are actually COMFORTABLE with whatever you have in being there - you will watch Mr. Happy perk up and in a short time you will have as good of an erection as you have ever had.
NOW you can start the thrusting toy in and out and NOW it doesn't FEEL CRAZY when you try and CLENCH DOWN ON IT as you normally do to get and keep your WOOD so you can POP. You'll know it when you've got it. The feeling is intense as you more or less 'lock up' on the toy. It may feel like you are slamming all 18 inches of Rambone up in you, but it's really only an inch or 3. Remember if you are laying on your back to ramp the angle 'up' and aim for the back of your belly , angle is important to really hit that spot.
NOW YOU CAN TAKE YOURSELF TO POUNDTOWN.
Now, the TRICK to being a GOOD LITTLE FUCKTOY and keeping your wood GOING WHILE YOU GET FUCKED is you CLENCH on the OUT STROKE when she's pulling out.
PRO TIP: it's EASIER to CLENCH DOWN HARD when it's going OUT than the INSTROKE.
When it's going IN, you want to be all nice and loosey goosey and wide open.
Then when she goes to pull back CLENCH DOWN HARD, squeeze your weiner (you're fapping like a fucking MADMAN obviously of course) and thrust UP and THROUGH your fist -mimicking that regular PIV penetrative sex we talked about.
Continue SQUEEZING AND SQUEEZING those kegels because this is how you keep your wood hard.
You never even realized you were doing this with normal sex but once you have something the size of a soda can buried in your ass (it doesn't have to BE a soda can to FEEL like a soda can kids) you becomes ACUTELY aware and if it HURTS just BEING in there, there's NO FUCKING WAY you are going to clench down even HARDER on it and THIS is WHY it's so hard to get wood and keep wood while you are being fucked. This is how you train yourself to be immune to it.
I've seen a lot of strapon videos that are usually straight(er) dudes that have not learned this trick - they have no wood and totally soft. The whole time.
Once you learn how to really RELAX so that is is no longer UNCOMFORTABLE to clench down HARD and SQUEEZE whatever's in there WHEN YOU HAVE TO - THAT's the key to getting and keeping your wood and blowing your load during your fucking.
The first time you actually do it and get a hard on and the realization YOU CAN DO THIS DAWNS ON YOU - that's the ballgame.
REPEAT TIP: It's a lot easier to BUST on something that is a little smaller than the one you had a minute ago so bust as hard and fat as you can all you want, but when you are ready to bust, swap for a thinner and skinnier toy.
I usually use a 13 x 3 for stretching fun and then when I am ready to bust, I swap for Rambone with is 2.5 x 15 or so.
Using the fatter one and then dropping down to a slimmer and longer toy helps you go deeper.
STRAPON Harnesses. I've always loved Stormy Leather. The Terra Firma is a popular model and you can do pretty much whatever with different sized rubber O rings.
Stormy made a 3 inch rubber ring which could stretch to 3.5 that handles the common big rubber like BAM, Great American Challenge, Super Ballsey Cock, Black Balled Cock, and XL Jumbo Jack.
You can also find STEEL rings in 2.5 and 3.0 at Mr. Hankey along with some unique homegrown strapon dildos as seen on TV. Carmen Rivera, etc
Oh - you want bigger? We can do bigger, they make a tool for that. It's called HOME DEPOT.
Something like this Danco 119 which is 3 and 7/8
Or the Danco 120 which is 4 inches
That should do it for anything you intend to throw at some ass.
Now if you get Amazing Ty yelling 'Give me 20 pounds of rubber cock thats 20 inches long by 6 inches wide and make it HURT' - You break out a 122.
The 122 is 5 and 7/8ths wide
The 119 or 120 should handle anything you have to throw - most of the big stuff is really only 3 - 3.5 thick and Stormy sells a large ring set that handles that easily - this is for stuff like Super Lance or any of Creative Moulding's 'Super Dildo' line
PREPPING for an anal session. Diet and Hygiene CLEANING OUT.
'THE ANAL DIET'
It's a joke in the porn industry because there really is no diet when you are doing 2 or 3 scenes a day and just getting your little ass fucked right off.
You simply DON'T EAT. Period.
They do water fasts or juice fasts. Maybe a clear workout or energy drink with protein (no fucking dairy).
They will book anal scenes for a couple days or as many days as they can stand and then take OFF a couple days and go pig out at MightyTaco which is DEFINITELY not on the to list the night before you are getting your ass busted wide open.
Usually a performer will lose 10-20 pounds once they start doing lots of anal.
That's why it's called the anal diet. You lose 20 pounds the first month. Because you don't eat. Meth helps too. (kidding)
That said - for the rest of us non-professionals? ?
Eat lot of fiber and add things like psyllium husks and before you know you are getting some - you clean out with an enema until the water runs clear.
Yep, you go and get the little 10 dollar rubber bag and hose kit and you get down on the floor and stick your lilly white ass WAY up high n the air as vertical as you can get and pop that hose in and fill er up.
For pro players you get something like this STREEM MASTER or if you don't mind doing a little work you get a SHOWER SHOT like this
HOW FAR CAN I REALLY PUSH IT - That Volkswagen looks like it might fit....
There is a hard limit for girth AND depth for everyone. Don't be in such a fucking rush. It's not a race and if you want a girl to participate, there is a boundary among most the civilian chicks between 'Oh kewl you're KINKY!' and 'ZOMG YOU FREAK! GET AWAY!'.
IMHO it gets exponentially more difficult to find someone that can keep up with you once you get into the really big stuff. But back to YOUR limits.
For many folks it's going to be somewhere in the vicinity of 3.5 -4.0 inches in width(males). I've seen some dudes that can go over 4 inches wide and even FIVE inches wide. No really. See below. To be clear, not condoning this. He has taken this to an extreme hat even makes me cringe.
Dude is north of 5 inches wide. He's riding two dildos that range 2.7 - 2.85 something inches wide and he's like: [FUCK IT - DO EM BOTH SAME TIME][https://www.xtube.com/video-watch/double-ass-fuck-with-huge-dildos-and-a-fist-9815651]
Bottom Line, at some point you will hit things that do not yield. If you are super skinny, that helps.
Little things like the angle of attack or which way is facing front can matter when trying to get a bigger toy in for the first time ever.
I have found to get the really FAT stuff in it's easiest for me if I do a a 'squatfuck' or sort of 'impale yourself from above' sort of operation. I theorize that the simple act of squatting as humans did until modern toilets made us sit instead of squat - but for thousands of years we squatted to poop and the simple act of doing so sends a signal to the brain * open doors*.....
You also need to be aware of the shape of the object. Many dildos are molded to present like a very large penis. In the case of the Rascal Black Balled Cock , I found I was having a hellish time getting it in using my tried and proven 'impale yourself from above' approach and realized that it may just be the shape of head and the fattest part of the ridge combined with the angle of attack.
I seemed to keep getting 'hung up' right on that last teeny bit
So I turned it 180 degrees and BOOM. And I learned. What may seem insert-mountable oftentimes boils down to a fraction of an inch. And I know it's cliche but that final little bit can often be overcome by simply backing up, dumping a fuckton of lube on both the tip of the dildo and the opening it's going into, taking a deep breath and putting some GRUNT into it.
Hope this helps. Report back with your findings - for science!
Thanks!
Mr.BUMCum
If you enjoyed this, other articles you might enjoy are:
Max Private - Anal Training
Amazon dildo list by type of skin
Sex tips that will just destroy the next girl you jump in bed with. (Or drag into the alley behind the dumpsters like the classy bastard that you are.)
And finally, a tongue in cheek (heh) summary of how to live with yourself after you give up dat ass like a slut to the strapon wielding woman in YOUR life.
Hint: It involves Superman.
PS if this is more than just a passing fancy for you, you might check out our Fetlife group WOMEN WHO LIKE TO WATCH MEN GET FISTED
PPS: WHAT ABOUT VAGISTYLE TIPS AND TRICKS AND FISTING? CAN A GIRL GET A LITTLE LOVE ROUND HERE?
Yes, my love. I am EEOC compliant. While a lot of the content above is unisex, This section is just for you.
The first thing you want to read up on, is the the A-spot also known as the anterior fornix erogenous zone (AFE zone), or “deep spot.”
Like the G-spot, it’s located on the front wall of the vagina—the one closest to the belly button—but it’s situated a few inches deeper, right in front of the cervix.
While the cervix itself is known as a 'spot' (any girl who has climaxed like a screaming banshee getting railed just so his bits are touching your bits in the cervix "just right" knows what I mean.)
Some girls like a battering ram, but most prefer a lighter touch and very deliberate touch. It hurts getting cock essentially rammed into a STOP SIGN.
By massaging the cervix itself, they are also stimulating this A spot which is thought by many ( I myself have no idea, I'm just here for the 1/2 price drinks and the buffet) to be the precursor to the 'deep vaginal' type orgasms vs the lighter clitroal ones.
PRO TIP LEVEL 1 : For girls who get super sensitive after they cum clitorally, you can keep the party going and even kick it up a notch or three switching to that deeper style and go for the A SPOT.
Some girls have discovered they can, in fact, cum from ANAL in certain positions because teh weiner is hitting the A spot FROM THE OTHER SIDE. Yes! Tis true.
POSITIONS Think: reverse cowgirl and she's leaning all the way back so the cockhead is aimed at the back of her bellybutton.
Also - that porny looking 'face down and ass way WAY UP - like, POINTED AT THE CEILING ' and he's squatfucking/piledriving from above and pounding hard.
This is also the fisting secret some women have realized as well, just by organic presence, a fist deep in your vag is almost surely going to apply pressure and stimulation to these spots but an artistic practitioner can just wipe the floor with a girl out if he knows exactly what he is doing.
I like to rotate my fist like I am holding a doorknob (cervix being the KNOB in this equation) my knuckles are just raking all these spots repeatedly and I can even tease the cervix opening (don't try to actually penetrate especially ungloved or if there is any chance she is pregnant) with my fingers and thumb. just tease a little.
PROTIP 1.5 Absolutely wear gloves, trip your nails you savages and use a antibacterial lube. Do not use JLUBE for VAG FISTING. It's a bunch of plastic polymer suspended in SUGAR (75% of the product is sugar). Sugar + yeast = yeast infection. No bueno amigos yu amigas. Senors y. Senores.
When her clit is all fucked out and too sensitive, you can also get some additional stimulation by either swiping a finger or thumb from your other hand across the actual urethral opening (peehole) .
There is a little bundle of nerves there, that if properly manipulated, can add A LOT to the overall party. Fellas, you have this as well, next time you are fapping, use your THUMB and WINDOW WIPER the very tippy tip of your weiner and WHOA! where did THAT come from? You never knew.
PROTIP LEVEL 2. A slim metal urethral vibrator (carefully) inserted BEFORE the fist goes in and turned on LATER after everything else is firing on all cylinders and you are in the home stretch will make just about any girl go to pieces and squirt all over you - sensation is above and beyond anything any girl who is not insane has ever tried on herself except for maybe AMAZING TY or DIRTY GARDEN GIRL .....the urethral vibe, inserted, has bisected an area that includes her clit which actually travels several inches into the vag from the surface - and her G SPOT. It runs right THROUGH THEM. Right up the middle. You are VIBING FROM THE INSIDE. Comprende?
So now you have a situation where multiple spots are being directly manipulated from above, below and right up the fucking MIDDLE at the same time. Don't snicker, don't fucking judge me, just GET ONE (or two incase the first one FAILS mid coitus) .
[TRUST ME, she will thank you][https://www.amazon.com/German-Diagnostics-Beginners-Urethral-Vibrator/dp/B088LQ3Z48/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=steel+urethral+vibrator&qid=1599249446&sr=8-5] (if she can appreciate this type of stim - not all girls do)
PROTIP: Have your biggest and densest beach towels under her ass to clean up the squirt. You will need it.
Sources: https://www.glamour.com/story/finding-my-anterior-fornix-unlocked-best-orgasm-of-my-life#:~:text=The%20jackpot%20we%20had%20discovered,in%20front%20of%20the%20cervix
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/a-spot
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/434wxb/this-is-how-to-hit-the-other-g-spot-the-a-spot
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/a-spot-vagina-female-pleasure
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/a-spot-vagina-female-pleasure
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19534447/her-pleasure-zones/
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19941220/a-spot-orgasm/
https://supersmashcache.com/2018/01/21/cervical-orgasms/
Hope this helps!