Yaira #1 Notes

Yaira #1 Notes


Opens on Yaira smashing Isom into a car AGAIN. Yaira looks bad. Gaunt. Like a villain. There is a good way to do this, like pick up slightly before from her POV so we know we’re following her. It’s weird.


Now alphacore is chasing Yaira. No names. No indication of who is the good or bad guy. Just stuff happening.


Chick fight. Great. More girl power shit.


Wait, now Yaira flinged Alphacore through a portal into space? How do you hold your breath once you’re already in space?


*WHEEZE* in space. Lol okay.


And now Yaira is sexually assaulting Solari? Or he has an O face and she’s sucking the air out of him? SAY SHES SUCKING THE AIR OUT OF HIM. It looks weirdly erotic. I guess that’s the point?


They’re talking in space, so there must be some air. Or their hearing is all that good? The lasso chick can’t fly, so I don’t understand how she is surviving in space. Whatever


Okay, “Super police shit”. So alphacore are cops. Finally someone identifies someone!


“Manipulate the element of ice” Face palm. Newscasters wouldnt’ talk like this in a superhero world. They would have labels for everything. Like flyer and power ratings. Wasted opportunity.


Solari is bitching about Yaira because he’s not alone. Is the implication that it’s harder for him to fight Yaira with help? And WHY did he fight her. WHAT did she do? These are moments to give information about the character. Not “I fought her because I had to fight her.” WHY?? Did she steal six flags over Texas or something?


Why is the news talking about this like a football game? This should be DANGEROUS not “wow, let’s see who’s power level is higher”


It’s dumb that a 7 foot tall icelandic woman has a “secret” identity. It’s way dumber than clark kent.


Her speech needs a total rewrite. Find what you’re trying to say and express it clearly. “Adapt or die” should be at the end of the speech.


Interesting that Yaira has a clear POV about life and longevity while she’s staring at herself in the mirror. Someone else wrote this line. It isn’t mumble fucked with Eric’s mush mouth style.


Dylan Thomas poem. Fucking kill me.


“This side of the hemisphere”? Wtf? It would be “this side of the prime meridian” or equator if you want to make that joke.


Can’t help but feel this stephania stuff should have been the start of the story.


And Stephania kills a guy. Okay, so Stephania is a murderer.


Yaira was trying to kill this girl who just accidentally got her powers activated like an Xman? That’s evil. It’s typical girl boss shit though where they say escalating dialog that only needs to sound tougher even if it makes them look bad.


“What are you? How did you accquire those powers?” Should have asked that before trying to kill her


So Icelandic Zod & crew have arrived


Lol, bit wordy. Oh it’s MORE super cops? Jesus. I guess. Couldn’t this have been done by alphacore? Wouldn’t they have contacted Alphacore?


This fight feels slow because there’s no new information given. We can’t connect with these characters. It’s the same “you need to come back and face judgement” line over and over. We get it. Give more information about the world she left or what she did. Like when the cops arrest Cartman at Casa Bonita. “You did all this specific shit. Now you need to face judgement.”


Wait, are they cops or cannibals? You need to pick.


The power levels are over 9k.


“The one that escaped” SAY THE PERSON YOU MEAN


Okay, the bug has sand powers? Why is he a bug then? Is sand an element?


“Don’t mess with texas” is the slogan for a littering campaign.


Why did she have a lighter?


I don’t know why Yaira escaped the explosion and the other Yairas didn’t.


Jesus Christ, the newscaster is giving the lamest updates on alphacore. “Valdez not living up to Braxwell’s recommendation as Alphacore’s newest member”? Can the news try making this stuff sound dangerous and exciting? Like they do in real life?


Why was this pack of qtips $20? Is this a meta joke about inflation in a libertarian utopia? Complete waste. I really hate stuff like this.


“The rich build up almost god-like lore”? What does that mean?


EL DIOS FEMININO? No. That is not something Mexicans would have come up with for AN ICE GODDESS. Talk to a single Mexican.


What is the old woman whispering? SAY IT. This isn’t the end of Lost in Translation.


“The goddess felt more pain than she had ever experienced…” but it’s just a shot of Yaira naked. So is it emotional? If it is, that’s fucking stupid.


Now they’re in Yaira’s Bat Cave somehow? How tf did they get here?


Complete lack of urgency or reason why this girl is important. No mention of the cannibal bug demon after her?


“That Yaira lady”. Do people know who Yaira is in this world? The news says so. “Don’t worry about Yaira”? Wtf does that mean? Why did he say that?


So the ice lady wants “recognition for her great work” in capturing Yaira… why? Like paperwork like Valdez? Did Yaira kill a bunch of people? Did she blow up their home planet? It’s kind of important here to know if she’s evil or not. Okay so Dr. Doom is going to kill Yaira? Is that part of the recognition?


She flipped him off. Should have let that joke breathe. Stop cramming so many words that say nothing into every frame.


“He’s so good”?? Bro what!? His interrogation is straight up retarded. He should be making shit up at least. Is Solari supposed to be a buble fuck like Frank Drebin or Inspector Gadget? He definitely seems like it.


Wow, their super prison really sucked at keeping out their main enemy. That’s pretty stupid.


Stainless steel doesn’t go from ductile to brittle at low temperatures. Wtf does she think Eusebio’s cryogenics lab is made out of?


“We have Yaira exactly where we want her”? Breaking the super villain prison? Dumb.


Yaira kills a guy for cat calling her. Girl boss shit.


lol, they’re just choking eachother? That’s the big showdown between Yarai and Solari? Jesus Christ.


Wtf was that prisoner escaping dialog? Solari doesn’t care at all? All the prisoners breaking out because their steel bars froze just doesn’t matter? Were there power dampeners like Deadpool 2 or what?


“recalcitrants” is a dumb word for people who resist authority.


“I’m the last of my family. I’m going to live with my abuela. I hate you.” Bro, what? Like a billy Madison line. “I’m never coming back to fourth grade, never!”


Wait, is Dr. Doom and the bug man the same guy?


Before you operate? What? Isom’s sister is operating on Yaira for bug bites?


Totally inapprorpriate place to put a non-sequitir joke.


Yaira looks horrible naked. Wtf is this? Her chest is cut open and Isom’s sister is in a bio hazard suit. Shouldn’t this be remote controlled surgery arms? Like in a REAL surgical theater?? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?


Nothing is said in these panels that wasn’t already known. Complete waste.


Yaira’s plan is to just go fight everyone. Classic girl boss! Not finding Stephania and working with Solari to get her into hiding from the cannibal bug demon? No of course not.


“Brilliant strategy. Yaira has the strategic advantage of being the only one to speak both languages. but why?”


seriously clark?


Lol, now they have a private spanish channel with yaira, stephania and solari?


Oh I forgot, Yaira just had full open chest cavity surgery for some reason. Why didn’t she just go into space to heal? It’s zero degrees. Superman has done that.


“It’s classified” of course it is. No new information like usual. Girl boss shit.


Lol, Yaira crashes into earth and fucks the first guy she meets? Classic!


wtf is this weird shit? Yaira had no life or loves before crashing to Earth and fucking some viking and being a broodmare? Was she like superman, growing up in a pod?


okay, so she’s like the highlander and all her family grew up and died. Yeah, that’s life. Happens to all of us if we’re lucky.


I don’t understand what time we’re in now. When is this conversation with Solari happening?


The most obvious shit is spelled out in Solari’s thought bubbles. Stop using them. It’s distracting. Just use Yaira’s if the book is called Yaira. It’s from her POV.


More justice and miscreant shit. Super overdone. Like a dead nerve now.


So Yaira’s “kind” chooses freedom instead of service. That’s fine, but what is the reason? The Viltrimite empire has a reason at least. Apocalypse had the same reason. It’s important. Otherwise the bad guys are just evil for no reason. Nothing to connect with. It’s $35 and we learn nothing.


10,000 years with her husband.


okay so the bug guy is just working for them? Like a bounty hunter?


Oh she’s a terrorist! Okay. Finally. HOW? Did she kill people? They would definitely have discussed this since it’s clearly SO IMPORTANT to them!!


This highlander shit is not playing.


that’s not how volcanoes work


What the fuck? Aquaman saves her?


Stephania praying to God. But she’s a murderer, so she’s going to hell.


And it’s over.




It’s a mess. A lot happens but it doesn’t feel like anything happened and I don’t feel connected to any of the characters or the story. Let’s figure out why!




The motivations are almost there, but they’re mising clarity and the plot is missing major structural points that makes it less exciting. The plot is saving Stephania from the space super police, not to be confused with the super police on Earth AKA Alphacore. But we were never given any sense of danger for Yaira or Stephania. The bug demon kills an old woman. Big deal, I can kill an old woman. Some bugs attacked Yaira and she needed open heart surgery, but that was solved in nearly the same panel it was presented. They fight, but Yaira wins easily every time.


At no point do readers feel any sense of danger for any of the main characters. Yaira is never brought to a lowest point. There was no dark night of the soul where all is lost, Stephania is lost and/or taken, and Yaira has to come to terms with something about herself to face and overcome it. Maybe she abandoned all her kids? Idk, it seems like it. It’s just girl boss shit over and over where Yaira walks into every scene acting like a macho dickhead to look cool and either wins with moxie or being saved miraculously.


Needs basic plot elements and act structure.




There is none. Where did Yaira get the lighter? Were the bugs wreaking havoc all over Florespark before Altona got rid of them? No. Definitively no. What were the consequences of Yaira being arrested or killed by the space super cops? Just her own death? That’s not high stakes. Is the bug going to eat her? Is she going to be killed by the other Yaira’s or taken prisoner? Idk. I need to know to care.


The world is in peril because of bugs! The town is in peril because of the cold! Stephania’s life is in danger and she’s a good person! Those are HIGH STAKES. Stephania murders someone three panels after she’s introduced, so she belongs in prison and I hate her. This lack of tension and danger is why the story feels empty even though so much stuff happens. We don’t care or identify with any of the characters. Nor do we have time to anticipate the danger that might happen to them.


Try setting things up in advance. Need a lighter to explode an oil derrick? Show it before. Using sand powers or vortex powers? Show it before. Show what will happen to Yaira if she’s captured. Show the bug eating someone ffs. Otherwise, it’s just things that happen like Michael Bay describing a movie on South Park.


Yaira has open heart surgery and is just flying around fighting like two panels later. Why waste that moment of… eyes opening, “Okay, I’m here to save the day!” Like in Rocky 2. Remember Rocky 2? Of course. Everyone does. FOR THESE REASONS. The entire movie is tension for one fight.




This book is intended to be the Highlander, but a woman, so make it Highlander but a woman. Themes of life and death and mourning are the Highlander’s entire character. He’s a sad immortal schlub going through life as an unfeeling ghost, but he finds the will and hope to carry on! We see the best of ourselves in him. And when he is rewarded, we feel rewarded. This should be Yaira, but she has no reason to feel so hurt. Her husband died of old age. Her kids just kind of lost touch with her? I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. She’s a sarcastic, combative bitch always even though she has nothing to be upset about. The Highlander’s wife gets raped by his moral enemy to protect him. THAT is pain you don’t want to feel for 1,000 years. Yaira just kind of gets lonely? But she shouldn’t, she had tons of kids! What happened to them? The trauma element isn’t there.


We do not see ourselves in her when she tries to murder a girl she meets for the first time for the crime of resembling her, and when she sexually assaults a cop she sends into outer space, and when she throws a Black guy through a car. It’s weird.


Why is she so obnoxious? Why does she have no wisdom? Why do the other Yaira’s think she’s a terrorist? What did she sacrifice on her homeplanet to get to ours? This could work, but we need to know. She can tell Stephania about directly to reveal things about her character that we can identify with. This is much more important that murdering cat callers and playing won’t they / won’t they with Solari. It’s the only reason to care about her. The hero/anti-hero shit doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is IF WE CAN CONNECT WITH HER. And there’s nothing to connect with here.




Good villains make great heroes. These villains are nonexistant. The seem to be almost copy and paste clones of Alphacore, who are copypaste clones of the Superman 2 bad guys, but they never get the chance to BE BAD. There’s no SAVE THE CAT moment for anyone in this story. They should show up and start terrorizing people. They clearly see humans as a subspecies, so go for it. Then we can learn something about Yaira sees humans by from how she reacts to it. There was another comic book super hero who does this. I forget what his name was though. Oh yeah, it’s Superman.


As it is, they have zero goal or motivation beyond bounty hunting Yaira. But this is silly because they’ve been watching her for a long time, so their reasons should be HUGE. Viltrumites have a religious fanatic devotion to Darwinian evolution. Their society has a deep dysfunction crediting it with their survival. It’s a cult that was right. Great motivation! Lobo is out for money. Great motivation! But it’s two different bad guys. The Yaira bad guys seem obsessed with authority, but why? Except for the bug who just wants to eat her? And they don’t like him? But why did they bring him along then? Flesh the bad guys out. That’s more important than seeing them fight again.




There is no pacing to this story. It’s a bunch of stuff that happens taking us from point A to point B with no rising tension, payoff, or surprises. Except for random shit like aquaman showing up at the end or bugs appearing and then disappearing.


Basic story structure elements in this book are missing or undefined. Map the story out. Give everyone clear motivations, have them explain their plan, and then put up obstacles between them and their goal. Make the villains bad. Make the hero bleed. Make us feel something. Saying “I’m sad about my husband who died in the middle ages” does not fill 90 pages. We need to know who these people are and how we are like them. That they are fighting in the sky is not enough. We need to know why.


And this is still happening two weeks ago, right? Because that’s when Isom got thrown into the car. When are we in the present day?