Warning signs of 'negging' to look out for as toxic trend hits dating apps

The toxic dating trend ‘negging’ is a term coined for negative compliments. It used to quash your confidence in the hope of making you seek approval and validation

Growing up, I’m sure you heard something like ‘they’re just being mean because they like you’.
If yes, chances are you’ve probably experienced ‘negging’ first hand.

When you’re looking to find someone to couple up with or even just hook up with, dating apps come in handy – but it can be chaos on there.

It's hard enough finding someone you have some type of connection with, never mind the fact that new dating trends, terms and red flags pop up on dating sites all the time

Amid the one-liners and the cheesy chat-up lines, singletons are spotting a rise in the toxic trend ‘negging’ – negative compliments.

The term is coined for the emotionally manipulative tactic where someone insults you using a backhanded compliment.

They’re sometimes disguised as constructive criticism or joking – but in its essence, it's a form of bullying.

The toxic tactic is used to quash your confidence in a bid to make you work to seek approval and validation from the person tossing them out.

TikTok dating coach Ali explained what negging is and how to spot it on dating apps.

“Negging is a term coined by pickup artists where somebody kind of insults you to increase their social value in your head,” she says in the clip, as reports Stylist.

“Although we know that anyone can insult us, there’s a part of our brain that thinks: ‘Well they just insulted me, they must be better than me, I need to prove myself to them’.”

Ali also shared anonymous screenshots with examples of ’negging’ various dating app profiles.

One read: “I want someone who has their shit together and is worth my time”.

Another wrote: “We’ll get along if you have a sense of humour. I know that’s setting the bar pretty high.”

A third said: “If I ask you what books you read and you say ‘I’m more into movies’ I’ll probably ghost you.”

“This guy wants you to prove you have his definition of intelligence,” Ali explains. “Also totally the dude who would say the book was better than the movie.”

In order to tell whether you’re experiencing negging or not, Ali says to focus on whether you have that feeling of not being good enough.

Sharing a screenshot of another dating profile where someone wrote: “I’m super selective so don’t feel bad if I don’t reply,” Ali says that this person wants you to know that they are selective and they’re setting you up to feel flattered when they’ve “picked you”.

Be careful out there, singletons!