Being vulnerable is an openness about one’s feelings, successes, failures, strengths, and inadequacies as well as hopes and dreams. It is honesty without defensiveness in close relationships. A person comfortable being vulnerable can talk as easily about the disappointment of not getting a desired promotion as the pleasure of finally getting that long-desired, dream house. Being vulnerable is being authentic or genuine, which is a healthy way of being emotionally intimate with others.
Healthy vulnerability excludes the mentally ill, whose vulnerability is tragically apparent to almost everyone, and chronic complainers, who wear their ailments like a badge of honor. Chronic complainers use their negativity as a defense; they want to keep people away while trying to engage them at the same time.
Vulnerability in others resonates with our own unvarnished yearnings and propensities. Experiencing another person’s quest for love and/or validation taps into our own longings. Babies and young children lacking the guile and sophistication of adults are reminders of an earlier time when we were free to be ourselves. Their naturalness and exuberance, qualities we too seldom manifest, are enviable. Similarly, adults who retain a childlike innocence and playfulness are appealing for the same reason.
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