Often the primary concern for a parent is, “How will our break-up affect the kids?”.
The way in which you and your former partner choose to conduct yourselves following your separation, can shape the way your children feel about parenthood and relationships in the future.
Early legal advice from a Family Lawyer can be invaluable to ensure that you are aware of your options, but also know you are doing the right thing by your children, so that they can have a relationship with both parents.
TIP 1:
It is almost a certainty that your children will spend half their school holidays, regular weekend time and special occasions with the other parent. The exception to this is if there are risk issues such as alcohol or drug abuse, or a risk of harm or neglect.
The Family Law Act 1975 promotes a meaningful relationship between parents and their children and it is common that the other parent will be involved in the children’s schooling during week days etc.
In other words, the Court considers that children should be able to have a significant relationship with both parents, even if your view is that your partner was never that “hands on” during your relationship.
TIP 2:
Consider the practicalities of caring for your children and how that actual arrangement may look for your children.
For example, consider agreeing to purchase extra school uniforms so that children do not have to drag suitcases of clothes from one house to the other.
Arrangements should otherwise involve as little disruption to the children’s normal activities (for example, after school sport and social activities) as possible. If your child receives an invitation to a birthday party which falls on the other parent’s weekend, let the other parent know about it so the child can still attend.
TIP 3:
Remain child focussed and resist the temptation to use the children as leverage with your former
partner or to use the children as messengers.
In the event communication between you and the other parent has broken down, we suggest keeping matters in writing, via email or text message. The content of your communication should also be focused on matters relating to your children and not include other issues such as property settlement or child support. Those types of topics should be covered in separate communication and not lumped in with an update about your child receiving an award at school.
Also keep your communication regarding your children professional and non-emotive. It is not uncommon for your communications to be attached to affidavit material in Court proceedings, so consider the possibilities of what may happen if you choose to “vent” your dissatisfaction at your former partner.
TIP 4:
Consider doing a course on parenting or communication.
There are a number of programs available in our community which is designed to assist parents with managing their separation, in a child-focused manner. For example, the Mums and Dads Forever program, conducted by Anglicare. This is a program designed to assist parents in handling post-separation parenting and communication skills in a constructive manner. If you have young children, under the age of 5 and you need a bit of reassurance that you’re on the right track with your parenting style, then 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Program or Circle of Security Program might be good for you.
TIP 5:
Do not leave any legal documents in a location which could be read by the children regarding your separation. This only exposes your children to parental conflict which is damaging to them, both emotionally and psychologically.
Know more: https://calverleyjohnston.com.au/10-tips-to-consider-for-co-parenting-after-separation/