Dealing with difficult behaviours can be very challenging for parents. This is because there are so many different factors that play a part in how children behave and it can be very easy to become overwhelmed by the complexity. It's also very easy to start looking for external help in order to solve the problem, but this may not always be the best approach. There is a much better way of going about this, which will not only make it easier for you to deal with difficult behaviours, but will also ensure that the problem doesn't get out of hand.
Many parents will have an awareness of some sort of 'blind spots' within themselves which make it very easy for their children to take advantage of them. They can be very subtle, hidden, or simply disguised as something else, but for all intents and purposes these blind spots are there and are used. The key to getting your child to behave properly and not act inappropriately is to discover their blind spots. This means knowing where they are weak and why. Once you have identified these areas, you can then apply measures to use them properly to counter the problem.
For example, one important concept is psychological safety. Everyone has a set level of psychological safety, which depends on a number of different things. If you are particularly vulnerable, then you may be more likely to act in certain ways which can make it even harder to deal with difficult situations. However, if you feel that you are strong and fit then this will mean that you are less at risk from having difficult behaviour. Knowing your own level of psychological safety goes a long way towards dealing with difficult people.
Another major component when it comes to managing conflict with difficult people is assertiveness. You don't necessarily have to be confrontational, but when you are assertive, you should be clear about your needs and desires. When you make demands, stick to them and take a firm stand. This may send the person into a defensive mode, but by remaining strong, assertive and consistent you can usually overcome these difficult behaviours.
Another key strategy for dealing with difficult people is to learn effective conflict management techniques. The idea here is to make sure that you have a good system in place for dealing with conflict so that you don't end up getting hurt or confused. When it comes to dealing with difficult people, consistency is key. If you are inconsistent then it is very easy to get frustrated and give up.
In some cases, it may even be necessary to seek professional help. If the level of frustration and intensity of the problem is high, then it may be worthwhile considering counselling. There are many different types of conflict management programs available, ranging from family therapy, through to individual and mindfulness-based strategies for conflict resolution. One of the most popular is called the Conflict Resolution Skills Program, (CRSTP), which works on a 12-step self-assessment and consists of guided conversation, games and activities to teach people how to recognise and deal with high conflict situations.
There are also many conflict management programmes that deal specifically with behaviour. These can include behaviour therapy or simply learning more about yourself and your thoughts. One particular module that many people find very useful is called the 'Body Image Project'. This programme looks at how our physical appearance has a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves and how negative or positive our emotions are.
A key strategy for dealing with difficult people is also related to learning about yourself. It is important to understand where the conflict is coming from. Once you know where the problems lie, you can work on eliminating them. Some strategies include: self-assessment, self-changes and self-awareness. Learning more about yourself will give you an increased understanding of the conflicts in which you find yourself involved and make it easier to deal with difficult situations and even to improve upon those situations to achieve success.