[You wake up in bed, stretching an yawning on a cozy Sunday morning, then walking to your bedroom window]
"Yawn, mmhm, oh man, it really snowed a lot last night."
[You check your phone/computer]
"Aaaand all the bakeries are closed. Great...there goes my morning"
[You give an annoyed sigh, then realize something]
"Hm, I haven't played in the snow for years...why can't a grown-ass woman frolic and play in the snow? I bet I could make a really good snowman now..."
{Somewhat to yourself}
"Let's see...a hat for his head, an extra scarf, and carrot nose should do it!"
[You get dressed in your winter clothes and head outside to your front yard, not a soul in sight. Dead silent except the snow crunching under your boots.]
"Oh yay! The wet snow is perfect for making things with, how perfectly convenient!"
[You roll the snow on the ground, making one big ball]
"...there's the base"
[And again]
"...and the middle"
[And again]
"...and that's his head!"
[You smooth out his edges]
"Damn, he's almost taller than me! Who'd have thought an adult with basic motor skills could make a picture perfect snowman, wow...kids really suck at making them."
"Let's give you some arms!"
[Branches snapping and being put in]
"Now he needs some buttons and a face, but what to use...ah! The charcoal briquettes are still out under the old grill!"
[You walk over, open the bag, get a bunch out and walk back]
"There's your buttons Mr. Snowman!"
[You put the in]
"Your eyes!"
[Same sound]
"And let's give you a nice big smile!"
[And again]
"Hey there handsome, what are you smiling at~"
[Laugh like a lonely dork :P]
"OK...so here's your hat"
"...your scarf!"
"And last but not least your carrot nose!"
[You admire your handiwork]
"Happy Birthday Mr. Snowman!"
[Give him a kiss and then realized you kissed charcoal]
"Pfft, pfft, I guess you're a smoker!"
[Laughing at your on dumb joke, then turn around]
"Oops, my laces came undone"
[Whilst tying your boots, you feel a strong tap on the shoulder, frightening you]
"Fuck!"
[You stumble on your back and look around, seeing nobody]
"W-What?"
[Mr. Snowman shuffles towards you
"What the fuck?!"
[You shuffle back on the ground away from him]
"Did you just...wh-..I...no way??"
[Mr. Snowman waves at you]
"Did..did you just wave hello?"
[He nods]
"U-Um..Hi? N-Nice to meet you I guess?"
[He shuffles forward again, then starts tapping on his bottom sphere]
"W-What is it?"
[He taps again, extending his arm out]
"No...seriously? Y-You want me to make you a cock?"
[He nods in response, with you laughing]
"Well...I guess you are a snowMAN after all...but seriously what in the actual fuck is going on??"
[He shrugs]
"Did you just fucking shrug? You don't even have shoulders...how the hell..."
[You pause to think]
"I mean...ya now what? Yeah, why the fuck not, this is all already weird and impossible as it is, I guess hell did freeze over or something."
[You pad snow onto around where a cock would be]
"There, one cock, how do you like it?"
[He taps under it and you laugh]
"Yes of course, can't forget your snowballs!"
[You pad them on too]
{Slyly}
"There, all set! I thought the cold makes you shrink, but you are doing pretty well for yourself Mr. Snowman!"
"...what am I even saying..."
[He taps his cock again]
"What? No, you seriously want it to be bigger?"
[He nods]
"Sigh"
[You pad the snow to make it even larger and saying]
"Dude really? God...even the SNOWmen...I swear, what is it with you boys and the size of your cock? Not to sound too much like a feminist, but I-grk!"
[He grabs your head and forces his cock into your mouth]
[Gagging, coughing, sputtering]
"SERIOUSLY? You're shoving your cock down my throat you-"
[He goes back at it, but you pull off]
"It's like getting facefucked by a popsicle..quite it!"
[He starts again]
"Oh come on...I just made you and now you're making me blow you? That's just rude man.."
[He fucks your face again]
"You don't even have hips? How can you thrust anyw-"
[And again, though it slows a bit and goes deeper]
"Dude...you better not fucking cum...can you cum?...I swear I'm going to melt you with a-]
[Back to it, this time cumming right down your throat and filling your mouth, forcing you to swallow most]
{Coughing, wiping your face clean}
"You jerk! I gave you arms didn't I? Could've given a the girl who MADE YOU at least a tap...I mean seriously...wait"
[You inspect the cum in your hand]
"How is this...kinda warm? A-and sweet?"
[You cough a little]
"...and...alcoholic?"
{Thinking out loud}
"...warm...sweet...alcholic...no...IS THIS FUCKING EGGNOG??"
[Yes it is.]
"You are a magical snowman who facefucks women and jizzes eggnog??"
[He nods]
"I mean...somehow that's not the weirdest thing to happen in the last year...but still.."
[The 'nog kicks in]
"...damn...this is really strong...no I don't like it!...but..."
[You see there is still some on his cock]
"I...well...nobody is around...so"
[You suck him clean, but get your tongue stuck on the now frozen tip]
"Ah-Ah- Bwainfweeze!"
[You free yourself and swallow his load]
"I...I just blew a snowman."
"OK damn...that is REALLY strong stuff"
[You tap the now frozen cock]
"I mean...it's kinda like a dildo...NO! I am not fucking a snowman...but damn has it been a long time since ol' girl got dicked down.."
[You consider it]
"I mean...he's not REALLY a person...more like a toy, right? A really dominate toy maybe...but it can't be much weirder than those fucking machines and sex dolls? Right?"
"Yeah, Right! Who says a grown ass woman can't fuck a snowman?"
[Pause, then kinda quietly]
"I mean nobody cause it's just kinda understood...but...yeah, why not!"
[At this Mr. Snowman pushes you down on all fours]
"Oof, hey!"
[He fumbles with your pants, sliding them down and exposing you to the cold]
"Ah, ah cold cold!"
[He snaps your panties in half, revealing your holes]
"Oh come on dude...those were my favorite panties"
"OK...you...you can fuck my pussy I guess...but ONLY my pussy"
[You feel his icy tip slide in]
"AH COLD COLD"
[You wiggle around a bit, but he grabs your waist]
"I-It's so big...why did I make it so f-fucking big"
[He starts picking up speed]
"That...Mhmm yeah...that's not bad actually"
[You get progressively more into it]
"Now that's what I call a big South Pole~...wait..am I drunk?"
[Yep.]
[He starts fucking you harder, breaking that lockdown dry spell, with you just giving in]
"I always knew the real meaning of Christmas was getting your ho-ho-holes filled~"
[He spanks your exposed ass, stinging from the branch and cold air]
"Ow!...do it again~"
[He does]
"Mhmm stuff my stocking Mr. Snowman~"
[He starts to just rail you at this]
"Can we change positions, my hands are getting cold...dude?"
[You turn to see him taking his carrot nose off]
"What are you doing with your carrot? Why are you...oh...oh no"
[Oh yes.]
[He places it against your asshole and slowly shoves it inside]
"Ah, ah, ah, come on dude...r-really?"
[He then forcefully shoves the rest in, making you yelp, then fucks you harder]
"W-Well t-that's one kind o-of vitamin D I guess..."
[With both holes filled and getting into it, you start rubbing your clit]
[You start to feel his cum leak into you, getting you a bit drunker still]
"Ride me like sleigh, really deck my halls!"
[Oh does he]
{Sing to the tune of "Do you want to build a snowman?" whilst getting railed}
"Do you wanna fuck a snowman? Come on lets go get laid~. I can't sleep around anymore, so please cum inside this whore~]
[And does he, shooting another hug load inside you. After a moment, you fall face first into the snow with the carrot sticking out of your ass and eggnog oozing out of your pussy]
"Mhmm...that was...yeah...do you want to-"
[You hear the sound of people chattering, stifling laughs, and taking pictures]
"Huh..what?"
[You look over to see a dozen people watching you in shock]
"Oh-OH MY GOD!! No, you don't understand...see...he came to life, and...and made me make him a cock ang give him a blowjob but his cum is eggnog and got me drunk and..."
[You turn to see a regular snowman]
"Come on Mr. Snowman, move...do something...seriously?!
[Police sirens in the distance]