Shut your fucking mouth, I have had enough of this nonsensical behavior! In all honesty, no one cares about the way the world works. You could ask a parakeet how to do taxes, and it wouldn’t be able to, because it’s a fucking parakeet. Did you really think a parakeet could do taxes? Did you genuinely believe I would use such ridiculous hyperbole to describe our current situation? No matter, taxes are for pussies and idiots who still have faith in the government. Imagine having faith in the government in the current year. I couldn’t. It is highly ridiculous how many people don’t seem to know about the horrendous after-effects of the Cold War. We have been psychologically shitted on! Open your eyes! No one cares about fucking McDonalds or Pepsi or any of that other shit, it is GO TIME, TIME TO ROCK AND ROLL. It is time to set foot in the new era, a golden era, without retardation and inane faggotry!
Once upon a time, there was a man named Francis. Francis was a lumberjack who lived in Minnesota. Francis did not have enough money to buy a house, so he fucking died. Poor Francis. Francis was a victim of a poor economy. We can stop another tragedy like this from happening, by simply fixing the economy. Simple as that. Do you think you can handle that? No more spending money on designer clothing, no more monopolies, no more materialism! We must return to the root of our being, and become primal once more, because money is for fuckheads and ding-dongs who cannot enjoy life in a forest! Let’s face it, you would totally fuck a girl wearing nothing but a bit of animal pelt, and don’t deny it, because I know you would. Trees are nice. Lots of different trees in the world, we should plant more. We should plant more trees. Pick up a shovel pal, it’s time to plant! Why can’t we live in the trees? It would be so nice.
Anyone who says that ice cream is bad is probably lactose intolerant. Being lactose intolerant is directly linked with being a bitch. If you are a bitch, you cannot ascend into the upper echelons of society. But that begs the question, “Do I want to ascend into the upper echelons of society?” That depends on if you want to be known as a dweeb. Typically, the people in upper society are dweebs, because they cannot turn a screwdriver, and have no idea what the definition of manual labor is, let alone how to do it. Ice cream! We now have a problem here. If you cannot eat ice cream, you are a bitch, but if you ascend to the upper echelons of society, you are a dweeb. This is quite problematic. However, you can fix this by simply eating ice cream, AND learning how to do manual labor. That way, you can turn a screwdriver while eating cookie dough ice cream in your modest single-family home in the suburbs! After all, why live in a metropolitan area where everyone is either a shitlib or a fucking obnoxious millennial (these usually go hand in hand). I mean, seriously, what is it with millennials? Bunch of sissies and crybabies who probably think journalism is a legitimate career. Not only that, but it is scientifically proven that millennials cannot turn a screwdriver! They probably sit in their gay little office, typing on their gay little laptops, writing a gay little article about how screwdrivers are their arch nemesis, making references to comic books every chance they get. Journalism sucks dick! Get a real job you pussy!
No one likes shit made in China! It sucks ass! Give me some real American made tools! Without good tools, you can build good houses. Without good houses, you can’t house good people. Without good people, you can’t have a good society. How we enter the previously mentioned golden era if we have no good society!? First thing we must do, is make all women stop posting cringe. They do that shit 24/7, there is no end to the amount of cringe they post. Get them off of the internet, ASAP! Secondly, we must kill the CEO of printers! That dickhead is making printers shitty on purpose, so that they need more ink all the fucking time, and the ink is overpriced, so guess what, you get a disaster where printing shit becomes a fucking luxury that only the CEO of printers himself could afford, because he makes an assload of money from all the printers and ink! What a piece of shit! If I find him, he is going to be very sorry he ever wriggled out of his mother’s vagina! Absolutely infuriating, he is a threat to the golden era that lies ahead and must be stopped! After that, printers and ink will be free for everyone, because printing shit is a human right! That’s what I would say, but HUMAN RIGHTS DON’T EXIST!
Human rights are a fallacy made by the weak to stop people who have ambitions from achieving them. What sane person thinks, “I am entitled to something,” when they walk out of the house. No, you are not entitled to anything. The only right is the right to fight for your right to make up rights! Just kidding. The only right you have is the right to fight for yourself. Let that sink in, downtrodden individual! You never know when you might have to start shaping the world around you in your favor. Don’t let upper society dweebs and journalist millennials tell you otherwise. The only men you can truly trust in this world are those who have one thing on their mind. Licking a girl’s abs. Any man who is not thinking about that must be sent to re-education camp immediately! Like, seriously, who wouldn’t want to run their tongue up and down a girls abs. I know who. People who are amputees. Specifically, brain amputees! AKA, corpses. Skeleton motherfuckers with no tongues, they cannot lick a girl’s abs, so they haunt those who can. Kill any skeletons you find haunting you, they are only going to make your life worse.