In their own words: the damage social media abuse causes in football and the frustrations in tacklin

From 3pm today through until Monday night, many football clubs, authorities and players in England are boycotting social media in response to the abuse received online by players and others connected to the game. Here players, families and club staff explain in their own words what they have experienced and why it is so damaging.

The former England forward Lianne Sanderson articulates why players who have been “racially abused for years” are finally starting to feel they can actually speak about it, while the son of one Premier League manager tells of receiving messages “wishing my dad dead”. Among club staff across the country there is a dreadful feeling of inevitability that if they haven’t dealt with an incident of serious abuse already, they soon will be.

Life online for a footballer, one Premier League player tells The Athletic, is “brutal”.

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First, Ryan Conway speaks to those who have dealt with racist abuse first-hand to explain the process of what happens when a player is abused on social media, and why there are deep frustrations within the game over how difficult it is proving to combat.

Much like everything else in football and in life, one supposes, when a person is the victim of racist abuse, be it in person or online, a process must be followed.

If the abuse happens in the stadium, a player reports the incident to the referee, who will make a note and then, after the game, speak with the police on-site at the ground, along with the player making the claim and anybody else who wishes to offer support or understand the situation.

After that, it very much can come down to chance. “Their word against mine”, as one player termed it.

When the abuse happens online, a sometimes lengthy and very different set of circumstances must be taken and, in some cases, frustrations overcome.

“You have to officially report it on the social media apps. Even if you take a screenshot and send it to them on an email, they still ask you to report those messages or accounts through their process,” one EFL press officer tells The Athletic. “While a bit frustrating and annoying, I don’t know what their reporting process is. It could be for any number of reasons. It just feels like an extra added thing that we could do without. If we’ve sent you the images, then surely, at their end, they can deal with it from there?”

“I just think there’s a better way,” says one EFL player who has suffered racist abuse. “Sending the screenshots on to your club and having them contact the social media company should be enough of a step to reporting it. Me, as an experienced player who has been sent abuse like that and the nature of the person I am as well, I can handle it, but imagine if you’re a young lad and receiving that for the first time or you’ve got several accounts sending you abuse, and one by one, you have to report it all as well as sending the screenshots along.”

When such incidents occur, the process to determine the perpetrator and provide support for the victim is usually rather speedy — from the player getting in touch with the club, to the club PR team calling them to check on them, and then the manager phoning the player before the club collaborate on an official statement while contacting the police, their governing body and Kick It Out, football’s equality and inclusion body.

The EFL offers all their members guidance on how to deal with such incidents, as does the Premier League, but both very much take the lead from how individual clubs wish to proceed.

“The last one we, unfortunately, had to deal with, all in all, that whole process took about an hour and a half to get everything filled out and sent to the proper people, and to get in contact with who we needed to contact,” the press officer explains. “Kick It Out got in touch as soon as they saw the statement and were brilliant in their support. The local police worked with us and we as a club can’t speak highly enough of how they’ve dealt with it all.”

“The club always checked in on him, asked him the next day if he was in the right frame of mind to train,” an agent tells The Athletic. “Troy Townsend from Kick It Out got in touch and offered amazing support. There is only so much they can do, though, and as all these big social media companies scramble around, not finding any solutions — and I’m not saying the solutions are easy — players and clubs as a whole are left to just deal with it.

“I think with so many different governing bodies, too — you’ve got the Premier League, the EFL, the PFA, the FA and so on — all with their own rules and guidelines, plus the actual government who can step in, it makes it all a bit muddied at times. ”

Once officially reported to the relevant social media company and the authorities, some clubs then try to take the matter off a player’s plate as much as possible. After engaging in dialogue with the victim, clubs will act as their representative on the matter and update the player on the progress being made, and if there is anything they would like to add to the procedure or get clarity on. Some club communication departments have been on extremely steep learning curves.

“As the year went along and you saw it happening every day, you’re just wondering when is it going to happen to a player at your club,” the press officer says. “It speaks to how grim it’s all become that you feel such things are inevitable.

“But you can’t prepare statements for this kind of thing. That’s just not genuine or treating the situation with the proper attention it deserves if you just put a cookie-cutter statement out. You want to make the process as fast as possible to get justice as swiftly as possible, but also take your time so you don’t make a mistake, too. It’s delicate in that moment.”

From a player standpoint, these things can, obviously, evoke varying emotions and reactions. Some act calmly, grimly becoming further accustomed to this side of society. Others can react with obvious anger and upset. Some even offer their own ideas for what the resolution should be.

“When it happened to me, I simply asked if I could sit in a room with whoever did it when they finally identify them,” a current Championship player says. “I want to know what made them say those things. Why did they believe it was right to send it? And for them to look at me and see how much it hurt, and to hopefully get some grounding in reality that I’m a real person with real feelings.”

“When I had a client who had to deal with it, the club were brilliant,” one agent tells The Athletic. “He wasn’t that angry. He was more hurt. It hurt him that this keeps happening. I honestly think England has the worst problem with this type of abuse. Obviously, that’s just my opinion but I haven’t had to deal with this stuff as frequently with clients who are abroad.”

Some of those The Athletic spoke to are still going through the process with their local police departments, some of them stretching back to the beginning of the year.

The common theme throughout it all, however, is frustration. For many, the experience can feel like a depressing game of whack-a-mole. Just as the cushioned mallet smacks one act of abuse back into the ground, another bleak one crops up.

“It’s been said a lot lately but it’s worth repeating: I’d like to see our government and our sport show the same energy to this as they have done to the European Super League proposals,” says the player.

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Lianne Sanderson, TV analyst and former England and Arsenal forward

“I was always raised to think that if you do well and you’re good enough, you’ll get chosen. It isn’t because you’re a woman. It isn’t because I’m black.

“But a lot of trolls say to me now: ‘You’re only on there because they’re trying to tick a box.’ People now might as well have your telephone number when they’re contacting you because everyone sees it. You can block people, but that’s after you’ve seen it. It has got worse. And the more successful you are, the more trolls you get.

“I’m mixed race, I’m a woman and I’m gay. I tick all the right boxes in my eyes, but a lot of wrong boxes for a lot of people that can’t handle someone like myself. You’re a woman? People are going to be sexist. You’re mixed race? People are going to be racist. You’re gay? People are going to be homophobic.

“There’s this misconception in England that those things don’t exist here. That they only exist in America and Europe. But it’s closer to home than you realise.

“The trolls are trying to come after you so that you stop. They want you to just completely deactivate your account, go off TV and say: ‘I’m not doing this any more’. When they see that’s not happening, I think they realise that enough is enough. I do get nice messages as well, but a lot of people don’t remember those ones. If you get really horrible ones, you do.

“I’m very lucky that I’ve got quite thick skin. I can’t say it doesn’t affect me because I’d be lying, but it won’t stop me from doing what I’m doing, and that’s the difference.

“What people don’t realise is how impactful it can be on your mental health, especially if you’re not having a good day. If you don’t think I’m a good footballer, that’s absolutely fine. There are a lot of footballers I don’t think are good — I wouldn’t personally tell them, but you can have your opinion.

“But why do you feel the need to pick up your phone and tweet me, telling me you’re going to put me on mute? ‘Lianne Sanderson is on at four o’clock on Sky Sports News. I’m going to mute her.’ I get that, and racist and homophobic messages, at seven o’clock in the morning. I’m on your mind at that time for a reason. I just don’t get why you have to tell people and be so mean.

“You have to be a trailblazer sometimes and make people believe that people like myself can do this line of work and succeed. The abuse could come from a small minority, but it has to be spoken about. Wilfried Zaha is a good friend of mine. He’s been racially abused for years, but it’s only in recent months, with the Black Lives Matter movement, that players feel that they can actually speak about it.

“I spoke up about something that was actually very serious (Sanderson was one of Eni Aluko’s public allies when the former England Women manager Mark Sampson was found to have made racially discriminatory remarks to Aluko and another player in 2017) and I feel like I’ve been ostracised since. That’s the problem when you are black or when you’re from a minority. People go: ‘Oh, here we go again. Why don’t they just be quiet?’

“Actually, a lot of people were surprised at the treatment that people like me have had to endure. Those recent conversations and taking a knee have made a difference, and I think it makes black players and people from ethnic minorities feel like we’re unified and have a voice.

“It makes me sad that we have to have these conversations now — almost like we’ve gone back to even before I was born — but it’s so important. We need to make it better for the future and better for the future generation.”

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Oli McBurnie, Sheffield United and Scotland striker

“I’ve had my share of social media opinions about me. When I was younger, at Bradford, I used to read people’s replies. I was a 17, 18-year-old kid and I’m thinking, ‘Jesus Christ, this is a bit full on’. It does get to you.

“What I would say now is that I think my mum and dad read all that stuff, so it hurts them more than it would me. I’ve been a professional footballer for seven years and I grew up around social media, so I know how it works. But for them, it’s kind of alien. And for them to be able to see people’s opinions so clearly, and people that don’t really need any evidence with their opinion — they can just say ridiculous things.

“I do worry for some of the younger boys who maybe read into social media too much and aren’t as mentally strong as some of the older boys who can hack it and deal with it. I have seen people checking their name on Twitter straight after a game. People need reassurance: ‘how did I do?’, so they type their name in on Twitter.

“To me, it’s baffling. I couldn’t care what anyone thinks. You know from your performance whether you’ve played well and from the boys’ reactions, and from the manager, usually — that’s enough. The last thing I’m doing is searching my own name but I know people do it.

“Some of the stuff — I’ll see it if people have tagged me in or replied to things — it’s not for the faint-hearted. It’s brutal. If you look up my name when Scotland are playing, it’s mental. Some of the things you see… it’s got to that stage for me now where, honestly, it is water off a duck’s back but it could really get to a person when it’s so constant.

“You can never escape it because it’s just at the end of your phone. It’s not like you can hide from it. And the thing about Twitter is that you can literally say whatever you want. There are no real boundaries or filters.

“I see boys deleting their Twitter account and you can understand it. Joey (Rodon) did it. I spoke to him about it. He said, ‘I can’t be arsed with it, mate. I’m not gaining anything from being on Twitter’. When he said it like that, I thought, ‘You’ve got a point, to be fair’. You just don’t need that hassle.”

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Alex Bruce, Former Ipswich, Leeds and Hull City defender and son of Newcastle United manager Steve

“I sometimes think to myself, ‘Why the hell do you read social media?’. I don’t nine times out of 10 but it’s like a drug. When you know it’s there, you sometimes just have a flick through.

“I used to get bits and pieces when I played but now I get the other side of it when it’s aimed at my dad. It’s an easy link to throw abuse at me to get at my dad.

“It’s crap sometimes. I’ve put things out there sometimes to show what it can be like but if I posted every single one, I’d be there all night on a Saturday. It can be endless.

“And it’s as bad as you can think. I’ve had ones wishing my dad dead, wishing him to be ill, telling him to not bother going out on a weekend because they’ll find him — just bullshit threats.

“I’ve always asked myself what sort of person goes on a social media platform and hurls that sort of abuse? It’s a coward’s act. My sister, for example, has an interior design place. They hunted down her office phones and started abusing her, and the young girls that work there. It beggars belief how someone can do it.

“It can be horrific. Footballers and managers — and their family members — are sitting ducks with social media after a game. If they have a bad weekend, which a lot of people do, to then turn on your phone and get dog’s abuse is not right.

“It never bothered me too much when I was playing. I had a release when you could do something about it.

“Now I’m not playing, it’s a frustration more than anything. If you retweet, then you’re said to be looking for publicity. If you have a pop back, then you add fuel to the fire and get more abuse. It’s poisonous, with nowhere else to go. You just have to accept it and be told to ignore it.

“That can be difficult. If anyone can set up an Instagram page and hurl a load of abuse around and then delete it, you’re not going to get to the bottom of it.

“Sometimes it can be young kids, who don’t understand the implications of what they’re doing. You can start campaigns to root out racism but there’s a lot of idiots out there who get a kick out of the publicity. It’s a very difficult thing to try and police.

“Will it have an effect having this temporary ban on social media? We’ll have to wait and see but I doubt it, if I’m being honest. It’ll always be there because it’s a problem for society.”

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Matt Hancock, Burton Albion’s head of community

“Social media, in general, can be an extremely positive platform for us. Especially during this last year of COVID, it’s been one of the only ways of interacting regularly with supporters and the community. That’s been invaluable.

“Then, there’s the other side to it that causes a lot of distress. We’ve not experienced the same constant streams of abuse that the big clubs receive but it’s important to stand together and reduce this disgusting behaviour, usually anonymously, that goes on. It’s a big problem for all the clubs.

“There was one incident when we, as a club, felt how bad it can get. We played away to Blackpool (in February) and the game was called off very late because of a frozen pitch. We then had one message saying what they hoped would happen to the team bus on the way home.

“That was pretty shocking but I think both clubs handled it well. We put out a joint statement with Blackpool and the person in question was reprimanded and was apologetic. We’re fortunate that it was an isolated incident for us. Clubs that we talk to, with higher profiles, are dealing with this day in and day out.

“We have our own social media policy. It’s for the players and staff — so what they say and do on social media but also about how they report anything they deem inappropriate. We have a process on how to support the player but also to deal with the incident.

“A big concern of mine is that a lot of people don’t report it. These things need to be dealt with. I could almost guarantee there’s been some racist abuse directed at players that the club hasn’t been made aware of. Have they felt confident enough and reassured enough to report these things? That’s a challenge for us all at the club.

“Football, for whatever reason, brings out the best and worst in people. All we can do as a club is champion the diverse values we have, led by the chairman Ben Robinson, who is from an ethnic minority background.

“There was no hesitation from us in supporting the campaign but if this doesn’t start instigating change, then we’ll happily go further. This isn’t about a PR exercise for football. It’s about football doing its bit to make a change.”

(Photos: Getty Images; design; Sam Richardson)