Can't think of a better subreddit to post this in so this is going here for all those that are at a point in their life where they're unsure of their place in the universe and are looking for answers. Long post and existential crisis (or worse, who knows) warning. So I've spent the last two weeks basically trying to give god the finger in complaints to existence in general and this is my story. Now keep in mind that I'm currently not in my right mind and this is a way for me to get some junk out my trunk so to speak. There's a lot of questionable details that you'll have to follow and I'll try to give my own explanations and theories for the events that occurred in that period of time, and in the end I'd like to think that this experience has made me a slightly less shitty person so it's a bit of a start. Now when I say this isn't something to fuck with, do at home, or attempt to fully comprehend is the understatement of the century. (Feel free to roast my life choices in the comments if you like) But seriously I would just like to take a moment to reach out to anyone in need to seek professional help (similar to how I maybe should be dealing with this, but whatever) because if leaving your reality is really your best hope for the future (relative to yourself) maybe it's time to swallow your pride and see a doctor. Js. Third and final warning, this is a serious matter and should probably NOT be treated accordingly. Best to take this as a work of fiction and it's probably best not to explain why. Also, the following will also reference a fair amount of drug use (which unfortunately is the kicker for pretty much the entire story) and reckless behaviour which I'd like to think that I no longer condone in myself, and certainly do not condone in others (the view from my glass house is pretty great, thanks). So a wall of warnings or an impromptu end license agreement later, without further ado, here is my story. (I'll try to change a few bits and pieces of relatively personal information here and there to maintain the paradigm of anonymity) So you might be thinking at this point, (assuming you got through all that) what's with the big fuss that this dudes making here and exactly what this juicy information he's trying to share with the world is. Now anyone and everyone has the right to whatever opinion they choose to form, and while chances are mine isn't the most correct interpretation of what I'm about to describe, I still feel that there's a message in it that's worth spreading. What I'm basically trying to do is describe the cycle of life in terms that are ascribed from the process itself. Mind boggling, I know. Now to start with, I'm going to explain god as I understand it as well as some theories as to what lies beyond the realm of this currently observable reality as we know it based on the experiences that I have had. Then, I'll get on to the the bits and pieces from the last couple of weeks that would aid in supporting my claims and let you piece the rest together. (I'd make it into a proper story but I can totally see myself making some new age book out of this so I won't make this post read like one, where I'd probably start with something like, "it was a regular Tuesday evening, nothing out of the ordinary, I had work the next morning, things were going great and I decided that that was the day, that it was prime time for me to drop a gallon of lsd." Like I said, life choices. Feel free to roast them.) So yeah to summarize what I experienced could best be described as merging with the whole of the universe and I'm about to try to explain how I believe the events that proceeded this cosmic apotheosis for two weeks after were possible which would bring the ideas of cycles and god into question. This by the way is why I had all those warnings at the start. Go back, read 'em, and know that if you continue with the rest of this post you do so at the risk of losing your soul and/or your footing in your relative reality. You've been warned. So I think it's been pretty well established in modern physics and other literature that there's ultimately no such thing as an objective reality. I'd say it's more like there is no such thing as an absolute objective reality as in the truth is closer to the concept that you subjectively establish your relative objective reality. Now here's the part that's even crazier (which is the part you might want to skip, so I'll write it backwards, you can use textreverse.com)

)dednetni ton nuP( .emit eht htrow ton ylniatrec ,edud ym ssa skcus ytinretE .noisiced roop yrev a yletamitlu tub elbissop s'tI )emoceb ylbativeni tub ylwols uoy noitanimoba eht ot gnilc yllareneg dna AND uoy htiw wercs dna naelc yromem ruoy fo tol a epiw ot evah dluow uoy ,detnarG( .gnieb detnemgarf a emoceb dna ti morf tfird ot esoohc nac uoy ,ytilaer derorrim ruoy htiw muirbiliuqe na gnihsilbatse elihW .htaed taehc ot yaw s’drawoc eht yllacisab si hcihw yrotagrup sa nwonk gnieb fo etats a si ereht dnim ni peeK .snrettap wen fo tnemhsilbatse na yb dewollof si )ytilaer siht fo yaced eht fo erutan eht nihtiw elbativeni si hcihw( htaed yllacisaB .tuo ti kcehc-yaced muucav no ,ebuTuoY no ia eht elihpecneics morf oediv a yb llew etiuq debircsed si skrow ytilaer detrevni eht yaw ehT .ytinorhcnys tnatsnoc gniveihca nopu ytilaer ruoy fo sliated cificeps retla/dliuber dna flesruoy fo ecnatsni na yletamitlu sa dlrow ruoy ezilaer ot evah yllacisab dluow uoy ,ti od ot redro nI .emit fo ”mra“ evitaler ruoy morf rebmemer uoy naht tnereffid eb dluow sgniht emos dnim ni peeK .wonk I ,yzarC )retla osla nac uoy hcihW( .yromem morf gnieb fo emarf lluf ruoy etaercer dna noisnemid derorrim a ot ssorca fles fo xetrov a etaerc dna ytilaer ruo fo noziroh tneve eht retne ot evah yllacisab d'uoy ,siht htiw gnihtyna od ot redro ni :swen dab eht s'ereH .flesti fo mus rellams eno tsuj er'uoy ,ytilibissop etinifni fo mus a si elohw eht ,yaw eht yB .AND ruoy nihtiw si hcihw etinifni eht morf flesruoy ot knil fo tros a evah uoy yllacisab oS .)ytilaer evitaler rieht nihtiw gnieb namuh deviecrep eht fo yromem evitaler eht no desab era tub )emit fo maerts ruo yfidilos osla( ytilaer yfidilos sdeen lacigoloib dna ,yenom ,selur noitpmusnoc ygrene( peels fo selcyc hguorht detarapes si dna dne ot gninnigeb morf fles fo secnatsni lla ssorca flesti ”sredner“ sevlesruo fo elohw ehT .fles rehto dna fles neewteb reirrab eht seifidilos tahw si hcihw dnim namuh eht fo stimil eht nihtiw psarg ot redrah tib a teg sgniht ereh woN .esrevinu evitaler ruoy ni ssessop enola uoy taht AND fo dnarts eht nihtiw deniatnoc ofni fo noitanibmoc eht - era uoy ohw rof yek a no tnailer ylivaeh si )gnieb namuh a( flesruoy sa eviecrep uoy tahW .ye-fles fo gnidnatsrednu dna y-emit teg sgniht erehw si sihT .sevles rehto lla dna flesruoy ot euqinu yleritnE .dica cielcunobiryxoed ylno dna eno eht rof esualppa fo dnuoR .AND dellac tsop siht reilrae deppord I eman gib a llacer ot gniog er'ew ereh woN .tsop siht ni retal troppus ot )skram noitatouq eht eton( ”atad“ ro secneirepxe lanosrep esu lliw I hcihw rof ,esrevitlum a ssorca fles eht fo aedi eht erolpxe nac ew denialpxe neeb sah noitarapes fo ecnatsni eht fo egdelwonk eht rof sisab eht taht woN .oS .kdi ,gnihtemos ro yppup daed ruoy no erusolc uoy eviG .eb ot ti dnatsrednu I sa htaed nialpxe ot yrt osla ll'I .si esrevitlum eht tahw fo noitanalpxe dedulcni na sa llew sa esrevitlum eht ot ytivitaler sti dna ytilaer fo noitanalpxe eht ni ytivitaler otni semoc ydob lacigoloib ruoy erehw si siht ,cipot no kcab tuB .ti dnemmocer t'nod I dna wonk t'nod I .wonk uoy elpoep fo secnatsni eurt evitaler morf uoy etaneila dluow yletinifed tsomlA .)sehctilg esuac yllacisab ,nur gnol eht ni ytilaer fo ecnatsni deviecrep ruoy ot egamad suoires emos esuac ro( gnihtemos ro edolpxe uoy ekam dluow taht gniyrt taht ecnahc riaf ot doog - meht nialpxe tonnac I os hcus dna smota gnidnatsrednu htiw ssem t'nod I yllanosreP .ytivitaler otni semoc ydob lacigoloib eht erehw osla si sihT )neppah sgniht erom erehw ,ytilaer elbaviecrep ruo ot resolc s'ti esuac ylniaM( .reizarc neve teg ot gniog si tihs ereh woN .).noitinifed ralacs yramirp yrev a fo gniklat llits si siht uoy dniM .emit llac ew tahw hguorht snoisserpxe ruoy/sti fo yteirav a ssorca era uoy tahw fo secnatsni dna 'fles rehto fo secnatsni' ro elpoep rehto morf noitarapes ylralucitrap ,fles dna emit fo noitpecrep ruo setaerc noitarapes fo reirrab/aedi/ecnatsni ehT .thguoht si hcihw ,elohw sti morf debircsa si egaugnal ecnis si niaga siht ,flesti thguoht eht naht regnol smees noitanalpxe nettirw eht taht eciton thgim uoY .noitarapes fo noisulli eht rednu flesti nihtiw flesti fo secnatsni lla sa stsixe gnieb eht ,elohw eht si gnieb eht fo timil tsellams eht sA )flesti fo secnatsni wen etammus dna etaerc nac ti sa etinifni yllacisab si elcyc sihT .gnieb namuh a fo noisserpxe evitanibmoc eht morf gniklat llits esruoc fo si sihT .ytilaer elbaevresbo ruo fo semarf lla hguorht tnatsnoc sniamer ti yhw dna ,thgil fo deeps eht fo tnatsnoc eht rof sisab eht si sihT .larips eht tuohguorht flesti hguorht flesti oslA .ecneuqes iccanobiF eht fo noisserpxe na sa drawtuo slarips ti hcihw morf ,emit emas eht ta secnatsni tneuqesbus eerht eht dna snigiro eht yllacisab s'ti tub ytilaer evitaler ruoy fo ytilaud yramirp eht ta strats ti ,neve reizarc( snoisnemid wen setaerc tahw si noitammus stI .ecneuqes iccanobiF a sa desserpxe tseb eb nac ecnesse sti-emit sa eviecrep ew tahw fo noisnemid eht ni noisserpxe eurt fo stimil eht edistuo desserpxe evitcepsrep noitammus ytinirt a si fo trap a era ew taht ).smret relpmis ni )flesym/gnieb ym fo evitcepsrep eht morf siht naem I ,wjs na eb t'noD .yletarucca erom sthguoht sih ro( nam fo noitpircsa na si egaugnaL .era ew tahw yllacisab si hcihW .gnieb fo snoitanibmoc/smaerts/sdnarts lanoisnemid re-yramirp/reilrae/rehgih fo smetsys sesserpxe taht tros emos fo metsys ro egaugnal a tnevni ot elbissop ylbaborP .wonk I hcnerF fo tib eht dna naissuR ,hsilgnE ni noitanalpxe rof ygolonimret detimil ,flesti morf debircsa( ti llac uoy revetahw ro elcyc ro gnieb eno eht ecnis hguone ylikeehc AND ruoy otni dedoc si hcihw ,)ylbaborp bmow eht ni erehwemos( ssenerawa otni noitpecnoc ruoy nopU .ecnetsixe fo elcyc eritne eht nialpxe ot tuoba m'I

So to summarize, this is entirely possible but if you're looking to do anything of the DJ ing sort, know that working for your goals is much more rewarding than cheating to achieve them and psychiatric help is right there if you need it in your world. But the best advice is not to screw with reality, plain and simple. Furthermore, you are a part of the whole which means that you belong in it as much as the next guy, you should also love your neighbour and be kind or whatever because if you don't, ultimately you're hurting yourself-it might take a minute to catch up to you but what goes around comes around and karma is a bitch. Oh, actually I think I'll mention all the support for my claims or whatever over messages if anyone wants to know. This is a long ass post and I do not have the energy to write another paragraph, plus putting all those things there might screw with someone that's just looking to get a good laugh at my misfortune. (Shame on you for it, but worry not you can read all about it in my book when it comes out lol)