Ruudiluca: Ace Attorney of OT Court

By: Holy2334

Dedicated To: Ruudiluca, Merry Kongristmas

Episode 3 Finale: The OT Mafia

 

CAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! :> Welcome to the C. R. O. W. News. Where we fly by with the most CAWpelling stories. Today’s story features a young delinquent teenager by the name of Pokerpo who is heading to OT court tomorrow accused of littering OT city with the dankest of memes. There will be an unusual judge for OT this time as she stops tending to her garden to take on this case. In other news psychopath Amane, and Mikkmar were released from prision today! Rumors say someone has posted their bail on both of them and most likely be done by the OT mafia. Why they would need those two is anybody’s guess. That’s it for today’s news. Up next it’s the very special Pig & Heron Marathon! Enjoy it here on the CROW Network! CAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :>>>>>>

              Ruudiluca shuts off the TV and gets ready to head outside to meet up with Ricesnot and hang out for the day. He’s not going to handle Pokerpo’s case unfortunately because he really didn’t want to. I don’t think anybody would want to defend Pokerpo in the first place. Being the right hand man of the OT Mafia under Stots, this man deserves to go to jail no matter what. At least that is what Ruudiluca thought.

                As soon as he took his first steps outside, Ruudiluca was grabbed by Dark Assassin and Burntfires who then pushed him into a van as the van sped off. All in front of Ricesnots eyes as she flees away. About fifteen minutes later the van stops at a torn down warehouse where Dark Assassin and Burntfires take Ruudi inside. When inside Ruudi saw someone tied to a chair under a dimly lit lamp with a bag over his head. Surrounding him were a bunch of dark figures in which they all seemed to stare at Ruudiluca.

“That’s him right?” One of the mysterious figures asked.

“Yep, that’s the guy alright. He’s the one who did so well defending Adv0catus,” Another figure replied.

                The men appear from under the light and Ruudi sees all of their recognizable faces from the OT mafia. Stots who was standing there silently, points a finger at Megabuff Badger who is given the order to take the bag off of the man’s head. Ruudiluca was shocked to see that the man was none other than Phoenix Wright who is struggling really hard to get out.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Stots asked in such a calm matter, but before Ruudi can answer he continues talking, “Never mind. As you can see, my right hand, Pokerpo has seem to have gotten into a little trouble and needs your help avoiding jail time.”

“I’m not going to do that!” Ruudiluca shouted.

“Fair enough,” Stots responds, “Uber, can you bring in our surprise guess who is going to be left alone with Mr. Wright if Ruudi doesn’t help?”

                Uber looks at Stots and motions his hands to summon the surprise guests. Zicit then comes through the door with Amane who appears to be holding a now beast like Mikkmar on a leash. Mikkmar looks at Ruudiluca and begins the growl at him while Ruudiluca is horrified at what has happened to the poor being.

“You know when I was going to bail out Mikkmar, I noticed that some rather unfortunate events happened to him, so I had to bail out his owner as well,” Uber said smiling.

“So, I take it you’ll be defending Pokerpo then?” Stots asked, “If it makes you feel better you can pin it on good ‘ol Aguspal if you want!”

“Why Aguspal?” Ruudi asked in shock that he is in this situation.

“Because, why not kill two birds with one stone?” MaginManiac answered for Stots.

“Yea, now run along. The silly judges made me prosecutor in order to have me throw one of my own in jail,” Stots explained, “But if I can do my best going against the best, then there is no excuse for me saying I tried.”

                Burntfires and DarkAssain take Ruudiluca outside and kindly drive him home. He is shaken by the events and tries to plan how he can get out of this one. He didn’t prepare for the case and hopes that tomorrow something happens where Pokerpo does go to jail. Ruudiluca doesn’t feel like having to defend a criminal at all. Ruudiluca goes to bed with his eyes open.

                The next day, Ruudiluca gets up, dressed and heads out the door to defend his client. Outside the courthouse he is greeted by the RollerCROWster to answer a few questions on why he is defending this case. Ruudiluca rushes through the answers and enters in the courthouse. Inside he can see Stots standing next to Aguspal, smiling while he sees Pokerpo with his “Swag” hat on wearing an MLG shirt with a pot leaf on the back. Ruudiluca looks around in the crowd and sees Uber standing on one side of courtroom and Zicit standing on the other. Watching Ruudiluca’s every move. In front of the judge table, there was Officer Uzzbuzz, and Officer Gevock standing there with Gevock looking at Ruudiluca in disgust. For a brief moment Gevock looks and sees that there is a fear in Ruudiluca’s eyes. He slips away from the courtroom and Officer Bluji comes in as a replacement. The judge is about to walk in when Uzzbuzz tells everybody to rise and the judge walks up to her seat and tells everybody to sit down. It is now the beginning of Ruudiluca’s true test, in being a professional lawyer, to not only defend his client, but his idol as well.

Meanwhile……

CAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! :> This is the C. R. O. W. News Live with a special news report. Today begins the special trial of Pokerpo accused of trashing OT with his Dank Memes. It would be a big victory for the OT police force today as Pokerpo is the right hand man of the OT Mafia. He won’t go down quietly however, as I am here with one of OT’s best lawyers, Ruudiluca. So tell me Ruuds, why are you defending Pokerpo and NOT CROWS!? :>

“Well uhhh, my job is to defend anybody when needed. Maybe one day when you get arrested for speaking out against the OT order maybe I will defend you too one day, hehe.”

Yes, but you know Pokerpo is guilty, why do you choose to defend him? How much did he pay you?

“He didn’t pay me anything, and neither did the OT mafia……..(pause) I take it as a challenge and I will make sure justice goes to the right person!”

Fair enough, (Ruudi runs off) HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!? Anyways, the trial starts in a few moments. I will be here live when it’s over to give the final report and hopefully, see Pokerpo come out in handcuffs. No offense Ruudiluca. This is the C. R. O. W. News CAWWWWW! :> Now back to Pig & Heron.

                The radio gets cut in half by Quilladin’s katana angry over what he just heard over the news. He pauses for a minute to think about why Ruudiluca might be doing this, and thinks it’s the work of OT Mafia. He prepares to head out to take them and realizes that he doesn’t have a mask to cover up his identity. Quill looks at a catalogue to see if there is any good masks he can have. After all, having one of the best assassins show up at your doorstep isn’t going to happen with a nice welcome and they know who he looks like. He sees a fur shop nearby that sells masks and heads out in that direction with his Katana on his back, and his headphones on his head.

                Upon arriving at the Nice Furs: Fur Shop, Quill is greeted by 15man who looks stunned that a man carrying a katana just walked in casually.

“I need a mask,” Quill demanded.

“Whoa whoa there,” 15man said jokingly, “You can’t just walk in here armed with a weapon.”

“This is serious,” Quill said and pounded his fist on the table.

“Is something wrong?” 15man asked with concerned.

“It’s Ruudiluca. The OT Mafia must have him threatened with something,” Quill explained.

“Ha Ha Ha!” 15man laughed, “You don’t need a mask for that. Ruudiluca is in trouble though huh? Let me help you.”

Quill looks at 15man and says, “You can’t help?”
15man reaches under the table and pulls out a shotgun, “Are you sure you don’t need help? Look you don’t need a mask, with us two, we can take them on.”

Quill stunned replies, “Fine, but just don’t slow me down.”

                Before getting ready to leave to the store Ricesnot frantically walks in the store.

“Ahhh look who’s late again!” 15man said.

“Look 15man, I’m sorry, but I can’t work today. Ruudiluca….and the warehouse,” Ricesnot frantically said.

“Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to work,” 15man said, “Just close up the shop for me, I have things to do. AND DON’T PLAY WITH THE DAMN TOYS! THAT IS FOR THE CUSTOMRERS NOT FOR YOU!”

“But….but…” Ricesnot said in stutter.

“I SWEAR DON’T MESS WITH THE TOYS!” 15man shouted and heads off with Quill.

                Ricesnot looked at 15man in anger and gives him the bird as she goes to close up shop for the day. After closing up shop, she rushes over to Mao’s Diner where she desperately needs to get a hold of Maowee. When she arrives, Ricesnot enters and demands to see Maowee who was just done talking to Detectives Holy and Ilneutrino who were there again discussing about the whole OT mafia thing.

“What’s up girlfriend?” Maowee said with glee when she saw Ricesnot.

“I need your help! My boyfriend is in trouble,” Ricesnot said really quickly.

“Ruudiluca is in trouble?” Maowee asked, “Never mind, come with me I know where we can go to help.”

                Maowee grabs Ricesnot’s arm and both jump in her car and quickly drive to Maowee’s house. They both enter and run upstairs to a giant locked safe with a digital lock on the side. Maowee punches in the code and the safe opens up with a bunch of guns, knives and other equipment at their disposal. Ricesnot looks in aww as Maowee begins to gear up. Ricesnot soon follows and begins to gear up as well.

“So Maowee, where did you get all of this stuff?” Ricesnot asked.

“My Dad is an OT police officer and my other dad was a former police officer,” Maowee goes on to explain, “They keep a vault with guns due to OT’s violent nature; they never use them though and probably not allowed to in the first place.”

“…..ok then,” Ricesnot said as she finishes up loading up to take on the OT mafia.

                They both leave the house and drive off! A few minutes later Gevock shows up at the house on his police cruiser horse and enters. Gevock rushes upstairs to open the vault to notice a few weapons are missing. He grabs to pistols and goes downstairs where he can see Bunneh reading a book.

“Bunneh, was Maowee here today?” Gevock asked frantically.

“Yea, she went to grab a few things and then left just a few minutes ago,” Bunneh responded.

“Dammit,” Gevock said out loud, “No time, Bunneh, Ruudiluca is in trouble.”

“Golly well that’s terrible!” Bunneh said, “But you know I don’t want to go back.”

“But Bunneh, this is an emergency,” Gevock frantically said, “I need my old partner back, Uzzbuzz kind of sucks at his job and I’ll probably get killed trying to do this by myself.”

Bunneh stops and puts his book down and tells Gevock, “Fine, but after this no more.”

                Bunneh takes one of the pistols from Gevock’s hand and they both rush outside. Gevock hops on his horse and takes off, while Bunneh gets on his motorcycle and follows him.

At the courtroom….

“So, KSHMSH,” Stots said while KSHMSH is at the stand, “Do you?”

“Do I what?” KSHMSH asked in confusion.

Stots goes on, “Do you have your cock in hand?”

“Why yes,” KSHMSH answered.

“And why?”Stots asked.

“Because I nuck the fust!” KSHMSH said with pride.

“He nucks the fust,” Stots repeats.

“He nucks the fust,” said Pokerpo.

“He nucks…the fust,” chants Zicit.

“He nucks the fust,” Uzzbuzz said in awe.

“ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!” The judge yelled, “Stots what does this have to do with the case?”
Stots smirks and answers, “Why nothing, I just wanted to break the ice. Besides we all know Pokerpo did it so why even have this trial in the first place?”

“Innocent until proven guilty, that’s why!” Ruudiluca said in anger as Stots mocks the trial process.

“Well, do you have any questions for my witness then?” Stots said, taunting Ruudiluca.

“No,” Ruudiluca responds with his hands clutched in a fist.

                KSHMSH steps down and leaves the courtroom with Fishsticks who is returning to the warehouse. An eerie silence can be heard in the courtroom before Stots breaks it by calling Pokerpo to the stand. Ruudiluca looks in anger as Pokerpo steps up to the stand and is ordered to take off his MLG sunglasses.

“He’s just disrespecting the court system in general just to mock me,” Ruudiluca silently thought to himself, “I have to do this for Phoenix Wright though.”

“Do you tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me Greg?” Stots asked Pokerpo.

“Sure,” Pokerpo responds.

“So what were you doing a couple nights ago?”

“Yo, I was playing Team Fortress 2 getting 1337 head shots like a boss.”

“But you are the meme master correct?”

“The dankest meme master on OT?”

“But the memes that you littered OT with aren’t yours?”

“Those memes are weak. I post the dankest memes, and those weren’t dank enough.”

“Uh huh. Only you would litter OT with that kind of stuff.”

“Maybe, I’m not like some people.”

“Dammit Pokerpo! We all know that you posted the memes all over OT, just admit it so that you can get a lesser sentence.”

“:steamsalty:”

“You know what, screw off, you aren’t my right hand anymore.”

“OBJECTION!” Ruudiluca yelled out.

“:sadpolice:” Pokerpo said.

“Stots, remember your job,” the judge scolded at Stots.

“Fine, no further questions,” Stots said, and Ruudiluca walked up.

“So you were playing TF2 a couple nights ago?” Ruudiluca asked.

“Yea, I be 360 quik no scope headshot peeps with my rocket launcher,” Pokerpo said.

“Were you playing with anybody at that time?”

“No, but I was talking to Aguspal.”

“About what?”

“About how stupid he was in not getting steam, but he kept saying how much steam sucked. He’s really :steamsalty: about it.”

“What else happened?”

“He got so mad, he just left lol. I just kept getting mah kills.”
“No further questions,” Ruudiluca said nervously as Pokerpo walked off the stand.

                Ruudiluca was confused after his conversation with Pokerpo. Maybe Pokerpo knows what’s going on and is helping him out with the lie to pin it on Aguspal. Ruudi is upset about the whole thing though, having Stots mock the whole court system for his gain to keep his criminals safe. He doesn’t want to see an innocent man go to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He felt that way about Adv0 and now he’s going to be responsible for the next one. He’s worried about Phoenix, yet is unexpected by who is really out to help him.

               

                At the warehouse where Ruudiluca’s idol is kept, the first two people to arrive were Maowee and Ricesnot. They both got out their car and kicked the door in aiming their guns. This was followed with a bunch of guns pointed back at them by the OT mafia. Fishstickz finishes smoking his cigar and begins to speak.

“Well well, look who decided to play hero,” Fishstickz said.

“Screw off Fish, just let Phoenix go,” Ricesnot replied.

“Wait, and what are you going to do? You’re out gunned ha-ha,” Fish said walking closer to Ricesnot.

“I have no problem putting a bullet in your head first,” Ricesnot said in a sassy voice as Fish approaches her.

“And I have no problem doing the same,” Fishstick said as he pulls out his gun.

                At a side door a “shwing” sound can be heard with a flash coming from the door, and a shotgun blast following as 15man and Quill step in.

“Are we late to the party?” 15man said aiming his shotgun at the crowd while Burntfires and Darkassasin point their guns at the two.

“Dumb furries,” Darkassasin said as he directed his guns at their heads.

                A galloping noise can be heard from a distance as Gevock with his great white stallion gallops in with Bunneh following him.

“Gevock! It’s Gevock!” Zam said who was bringing in NinjaChameleon after bailing him out.

“And it looks like its rabbit season too!” Ninja said.

“HI DADS!” Maowee said out loud and everybody looks at her.

“Gosh Maowee what are you doing here!?” Bunneh said in shock.

“Well, Ricesnot said Ruudi was in trouble, and she just brought me here.” Maowee explains.

“OH EMM GEE! Look at this party were going to miss out on!” Ilneutrino said with excitement as her and Holy walk in, “Wait we are the good guys right? Because I would love to shoot Ricesnot in the face!”

“No, they are on our side,” Holy said as he facepalms over what he is hearing.

“You’ll never be a police officer Holy,” Ninja said as he changes his aim directed towards Holy.

“All of you guys are in trouble,” Heather said as her and Greg walk in with pistols in hand, “You guys are going to-“

“NO GET OUT! WE HAVE TOO MANY PEOPLE AS IT IS!” Everybody yelled as they pointed all of their guns at the two and they slowly leave.

                The situation is tense in the warehouse where everybody has a gun pointed at them. Just one false move and everything goes off. All while Phoenix Wright sits in his chair. Everything went silent for a while. Nobody said a word as there is going to be a lot of bloodshed in the next oncoming moments. Sadly this isn’t OT force so while they go fight it out I’m just going to switch over back to the courtroom.

                Ruudiluca is drilling all of the tough questions at Aguspal, trying to make him crack while at the stand showing no mercy. Stots is pleased that everything is going to plan. Aguspal is sweating bullets knowing that all of these things being told about him is just lies. Before he cracks Ruudiluca asks one more question.

“Just admit that you did it Aguspal! You are going to put an innocent man in prison if you don’t,” Ruudiluca said in anger, “JUST SAY THAT YOU-“

“OBJECTION!” A familiar voice yelled as it was Phoenix Wright who busted through the door with everybody else behind him.

“What is this?” The judge said becoming angrier about the whole thing.

“Ma’am I am Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney,” Wright said as he adjust his tie, “And I have to let you know that this place is just madness!”

“You know what? Forget it, this is a mistrial. Nobody is going to jail, this place is too much! I’m going back to the main city where it’s at least civilized,” the judge said and just left the courtroom in frustration.

                Ruudiluca was in total shock in awe when he saw his idol standing in front of him. Phoenix Wright walks up to Ruudiluca and put his hand on his shoulder. He looks at him to say a few things.

“So this is the expert lawyer I’ve been hearing about,” Phoenix Wright said with passion.

“M-Mr. Wright, it’s…. it’s an honor to meet you,” Ruudiluca stuttered, “H-h-how did you?”

“Well, there was a bunch of random people holding guns aimed at each other,” Phoenix began to explain, “And for some reason we hear a bunch of galloping with one of the guys smiling and screaming that the Alpaca Overlords were here; then out of nowhere a bunch of Alpaca’s swarmed.”

“That’s normal here,” Ruudi laughed, “So what happened next?”

“Well everybody just decided to have fight the Alpacas ya know, and after slaughtering all of them and putting that user in cuffs, they all decided to just let me go,” Wright finished explaining.

“What? I missed out slaughtering Alpacas?” Pokerpo said, “:sadpolice:”

“I’ve seen what kind of person you are Ruudiluca,” Wright said, “I’m very pleased that there are people out there willing to do the difficult tasks in defending the innocent, the guilty, and making sure justice goes to where it belongs.”

“Th-thank you Mr. Wright!” Ruudiluca said.

“I should be heading off now. This place is too strange. It was nice meeting you though,” Wright said and takes off.

                Phoenix Wright takes off and Ruudiluca is stunned by what has just happened. The rest of the OTers are standing in the courtroom wondering what to do next and just decide to throw a big party. After the party, Ruudiluca returned home where he felt like a lot of work has been done today. He makes himself a glass of hot chocolate and sits down on his comfy couch and turns on the TV at the end of the Pig & Heron marathon where the news will come on next.

CAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW :> Welcome to C. R. O. W. News! In today’s news, a shocking judgement call happened at the courtroom today where the judge just left for no reason, and they decided to throw a party without inviting me because OT HATES CROWS :’> In other news Amane is in prison again for trying to take over the world with the Alpaca Overlords. Maybe he will succeed one day if he wasn’t making crappy OT fanfics in the first place, like seriously there are just NO CROWS in that story at all. Actually I’m glad I’m not in that story because I might get cancer if my name ever gets mentioned in that story. There was also an international lawyer conference that was supposed to be led by Phoenix Wright who showed up at the last second to announce the Lawyer of the Year award. This year’s lawyer would be OT’s very own Ruudiluca! Thank you Ruudiluca and remember if Kongregate ever tries to put me in jail for speaking the truth about how they HATE CROWS! You’ll bail me out right? This concludes our news today. I am Mafefe, cawing off. CAAWWWWWWWWWW! :>>>>>>>>

 

THE END