Monday 23 January 2023
The crate rain robbery

A curious find this evening, on my return from a tiresome work day of rail strikes and rain. Expecting a possible delivery of salt blocks for the water softener, I opened the carport cupboard to see if they'd left anything in there. Well, there was a small cheerful blue package in there, but it was covered in dust and debris and marked with a date that was almost 12 months ago. It was, in fact, a "Snack Crate".

Snack Crate is, it seems, an online subscription scheme that sends out periodic boxes of snacks from various parts of the world. The package was addressed to my neighbour, but I decided that he wouldn't even remember a year-old lost package and had most likely obtained a refund or replacement at the time. I also knew I would feel extremely idiotic and embarrassed if I went and said to this unknown neighbour, "Here's your package I unknowingly held onto for a year, full of snacks that expired months ago."

So I kept it and opened it, and (screw expiry dates) ate the entire contents instead of dinner. The snacks were Polish ones. I am a very bad man.