A Zen student came to Bankei and said: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?"
"Show me this temper," said Bankei, "it sounds fascinating."
"I haven't got it right now," said the student, "so I can't show it to you."
"well then," said Bankei, "bring it to me when you have it."
"But I can't bring it just when I happen to have it," protested the student. "It arises unexpectedly, and I would surely lose it before I got it to you."
"In that case," said Bankei, "it cannot be part of your true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you -- so it must come into you from the outside. I suggest that whenever it gets into you, you beat yourself with a stick until the temper can't stand it, and runs away."
Next time you feel angry go and run around the house seven times, and after it sit under a tree and watch where the anger has gone. You have not repressed it, you have not controlled it, you have not thrown it on somebody else ...
Anger is just a mental vomit ... There is no need to throw anger on anybody ... Do a little jogging and you will feel it is released, or take a pillow and beat the pillow, fight with the pillow, and bite the pillow until your hands and teeth are relaxed.
In transformation you never control, you simply become more aware. Anger is happening: you have to be aware that anger is happening -- watch it! It is a beautiful phenomenon -- energy moving within you, becoming hot! It is just like electricity in the clouds ...
Even while anger is happening, if you suddenly become conscious it drops. Try it. Just in the middle, when you are feeling very hot and would like to commit murder, suddenly become aware, and you will feel something has changed: a gear inside -- you can feel the click. Something has changed, now it is no more the same thing. Your inner being has relaxed. It may take time for your outer layer to relax, but the inner being has already relaxed. The cooperation is broken; now you are not identified ... The body will take a little time to cool down, but deep at the center, there everything is cool ...
When you are cool you can enjoy the whole world. When you are hot you cannot enjoy it, because you get so much into it; you are lost, you get identified. You become so messed up in it, how can you enjoy it?
This may sound paradoxical, but I tell you: only a buddha enjoys this world. Then everything sounds fascinating.
And the Flowers Showered #3