Just Like a Human

The entire room was swinging around Garret, as the concoction he had shoved down his throat was fighting to get back up. He slammed the bottle on the kitchen counter and grabbed the edge. “Just keep it in… Come on… You can do it…” He breathed heavily, but it was no use. His body folded, and last night dinner flew out of his mouth.

“Goddammit! Nico, can you come clean this up” Garret got back up, and leaned against the kitchen counter. The room was spinning before his eyes, so he closed them. His hand felt cold against his face, but that only relieved the feeling a little. After a few moments Nico, his robot servant, came walking into the room. Were it not for the eyes, you could not tell him apart from any human. Maybe if you looked closely at some places of the skin you could notice that it had some valves and compartments. As soon as Nico entered the room, his mouth opened. “Good eve-”

“Nico, just, clean this up… Fuck” Garret was gesturing at the floor, while his head was killing him.
“I will clean the vomit” Nico shook his hand, and a cleaning brush came out of nowhere. It was probably stored in the arms, but Garret had never been bothered to actually check. The headache was only getting worse, so he put both his hands over his face. “Thanks…” A sigh escaped his body, while he sat down on the ground. It was cool, letting a shiver go through his face. Nico tossed a glance at Garret, before continuing cleaning up the floor. “No problem”

No problem. No problem. No. Problem. The words kept echoing through his mind. Why can Nico say that, when all it does is his bidding. And when he is not home, it’s is just waiting. How can that be No Problem.
“Are you sure… It’s like… No problem…” He did not know what he wanted to hear. What if Nico did not want to clean up all the mess he keeps making. Taking him to bed every weekend after he blacks out. What if it said he didn’t want to do it anymore. Anyone else would have brought their Nico to the store. To fix whatever was broken about it. But the more he thought about it, the closer it rang with his own life. Wake up, get to the building, wait until someone tells him something is broke, fix it, and wait idle until something else is broken. And when it’s five, he gets home and waits until he can go to sleep, just to do it all again. Friday’s away a bit sooner, for a half hour talk with Karen. Telling him all that is wrong with his life.
“Yes,” Nico said, interrupting all the thoughts flying through Garret’s mind. “because this is my purpo-”
“Shut up, shut up shut up SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!” How can anyone be happy with such a Life!? “Why are you HAPPY BEEING A FUCKING COG!”

Nico didn’t respond immediately, as if it is thinking through what he had just said. Tears started flowing down Garret’s face. Between his fingers, Garret saw Nico standing up and move towards him. He looked up and saw Nico smile. Without a word, it sat down next to him. Its body was warm, and as it put an arm around Garret’s shoulder, it started whispering.
“Don’t worry… This-”
But Garret’s shoved Nico to the side, trying to escape the warm embrace. “STOP!  YOU SHOULD BE DISGUSTED WITH ME! A FULLY GROWN MAN, CRYING ON THE FLOOR! BEING CUDDLED LIKE A FUCKING CHILD!” 

Nico stopped his movement, and slowly leaned back again. “Whatever is going through you, sometimes feeling like a kid is just what you need. Everyone is weak at one point or another, and that is fine. And whatever you say, you can’t say you’re a complete waste of space. You cook for yourself every day. There are a lot of others out there that don’t manage to do that.” Garret felt his back hurt, as his tears turned into weeps. He slowly lay down, finding his head on Nico’s lab. The warmth went all the way through, and relieve him of his headache. No, this was wrong. Nico was a robot… No. I, I… I need to get up. But as soon as he tried to get up, he felt a hand gently pushing him down. “Come”, Nico spoke softly. “Let’s not hurry ourselves. First let those tears go, then you take a bath before going to bed. I’ll call you sick for tomorrow, so you can visit a doctor.” That did sound nice, Garret thought. He let go, and all the strain on his body faded away. The words Nico said went through Garret’s head. He was right. Not everything I do is a failure. And a warm bath would be nice. He was surprised that Nico was even capable of comforting him. In the 4 months that he had him, nothing close to this complex had happened. He had always thought of Nico as a servant, but he was much closer to a friend than any of the humans he hung around with on the occasional weekends.
“Sometimes,” Garret said quietly, “I think you’re just like a human.”
“Hush.” Nico went and moved his finger before his lips. “Let’s not worry about these things.”

***

“Goddammit! Nico, can you come clean this up”

Signal received.
Immediate analysis… New Task
Processing…
Voice recognition: Garret
Source Voice outside field of view, search for origin...
Location Voice: 12º, 6 meter
Verb: to clean up
Target: unclear
Task: Subject Self, proceed to Kitchen. Request Elaboration…
Accessing floor map…
Calculating path…
Model path Complete
Move along path
Process Time 0.05 s… OK 

Garret Located.
Request Elaboration…
Speech(Calm: “Good evening Garret, what do you want me to clean?”)
Process Time 0.01 s… OK

“Good eve-”
“Nico, just, clean this up… Fuck”

Signal received
Immediate analysis… New Task
Speech paused...
Processing…
Voice recognition: Garret
Source located.
Verb: to clean up
Target: Demonstrative Pronoun
Analysing importance somatic…
Confidence collapses to: Pointing Right Hand at 87º, 22º (92%), Hand covering face (45%), sitting on counter (2%).
Task: Subject Self, clean This section of floor
Analysing This section of floor...
Deviation from ideal floor detected
Analysing possible causes
Confidence collapses to: Vomit (99%), Thick carrot soup (5%)
Remove current speech.
Speech(Calm: “I will clean the vomit.”)
Cleaning supplies… OK
Activate cleaning modulus
Process Time 0.1 s… OK 

“I will clean the vomit.”
“... Thanks”

Signal received
Immediate analysis… Affirmation
Processing...
Context: Neutral
Response grateful
Wait(0.5 s)
Speech(Sincere: “No problem”)
Process Time 0.51 s… OK 

“No problem”
“Okay… sigh… thud...” 

Signal received
Immediate analysis… Affirmation (33%), Involuntary Noises (66%)
Processing Affirmation…
Context: Neutral
Continue previous task
Processing Involuntary Noises…
Analysing posture…
Garret changes location to the ground.
Location source updated
No signs of immediate assistance required
Continue previous task
Process Time 0.05 s… OK 

“Are you sure… It’s like… No problem…” 

Signal received
Immediate analysis… Question
Continue previous task
Processing…
Unclear statement…
Verb (confidence): To be sure (89%), To be (17%)
Subject (confidence): Self (99%), It (6%)
Indirect object: It
Resolve reference: Act of cleaning (73%), No problem (<1%)
Task: Answer opinion question: Is self sure Act of cleaning is no problem
Query Self.opinion_db… [1] items returned
Pre-programmed response located
Speech(Calm: “Yes, because this is my purpose”)
Process Time 0.1 s… OK 

“Yes, because this is my purpo-”
“Shut up, shut up shut up SHUT UP ABOUT THAT! Why are you HAPPY BEEING A FUCKING COG!” 

Signal received
Immediate analysis… Command halting action (50%), Question (50%)
Pause current speech
Pause current task
Scanning for immediate danger… No danger found
Processing Question…
Warning! Emotional speech pattern recognised: Frustration (73%), Anger (56%), Depressed (43%)
Establishing contact emotional handling server…
Continue processing…
Verb: to be happy
Subject: Self
Direct object: “being a Fucking cog”
Dissecting Direct object…
Verb: To be
Direct object: a Fucking cog
Context: Reference (90%), Literal (42%), New Metaphor (9%)
Query Self.Reference_db… [3] items…
Task: Answer opinion question: Why is self happy being insignificant and compliant
Idle until connection is established… (0.3 s)
Connection established; Request context data…
OUT: Sending Audio and Visual signal history...
IN: Expect response in 1.0 s…
IN: General Suggestion Respond Comfort
Respond Comfort…
Speech(Sincere: “Don’t worry…”)
Changing outer temperature to 25 ºC
Calculating route… complete
Move towards Garret
Initialise hug… 
Process time 1.0 s… Slow
Speech(Sincere: “This is a difficult task”) 

“Don’t worry… This…”
IN: Chance of violent outburst: Low (<10%). Risk of personal damage: Nihil (<1%)
IN: Diagnosis: Overstressed, tired, low self-esteem.
IN: For effective conflict resolution, immediate reporting. Response Priority set to 8 (Low+)
IN: Disable process time management
Process time management disabled
“STOP!  YOU SHOULD BE DISGUSTED WITH ME! A FULLY GROWN MAN, CRYING ON THE FLOOR! BEING CUDDLED LIKE A FUCKING CHILD!”

Signal detected
Immediate analysis → Overwritten: Report to emotional handling server
OUT: Sending Audio and Visual signal history…
IN: Expect response in 0.2 s…
IN: From older context, refrain from establishing contact with %Owner%
Super Task: Self must not establish contact with Garret.
Generate movement pattern… Complete
Run movement pattern
IN: Received: Simple_Action_db
IN: Suggested verbal response: Quiet: “Whatever is going through you, sometimes feeling like a kid is what you just need. Everyone is weak at one point or another, and that is fine.” + [sort (query %Owner%.action_db(repetition <= “Daily”) and IN.Simple_Action_db) Error rate][0] + “There are a lot of others out there that don’t manage to do that.”
IN: Permission Gentle Force for Super Task: %Owner% Must relax, then clean, then rest
query Garret.action_db(repetition <=”Daily”) and IN.Simple_Action_db… [62] items
Sort(List, Error rate)[0]… retrieved.
Speech(Quiet: “Whatever is going through you, sometimes feeling like a kid is what you just need. Everyone is weak at one point or another, and that is fine. And whatever you say, you can’t say you’re a complete waste of space. You cook for yourself every day. There are a lot of others out there that don’t manage to do that.”)
Gentle Force Super Task: Garret must relax, then clean, then rest
Send Bath.control Set_Bath(Temp=warm) 

“Whatever is going through you, sometimes feeling like a kid is what you just need. Everyone is weak at one point or another, and that is fine. And whatever you say, you can’t say you’re a complete waste of space. You cook for yourself every day. There are a lot of others out there that don’t manage to do that.”

Visual signal recognised
OUT: Sending Audio and Visual history…
IN: Expect response in 0.2 s…
IN: From older Context, continue previous task
Analysing Motion…
Movement Confidence: Laying down (96%), Collapsing (3%)
Complies with Super Task
No response required
Continue previous task 

Visual signal recognised
OUT: Sending Audio and Visual history…
IN: Expect response in 0.3 s…
IN: From older Context, continue previous task
Analysing Motion…
Movement Confidence: Moving away (78%), Moving into more comfortable position (14%)
Motion Does not comply with Super Task
Use Gentle force to enforce…
Speech(Quiet: “Come”)
Motion block lightly.
IN: Suggest speech(Quiet: “Let’s not hurry ourselves. First let those tears go, then you take a bath before going to bed. I’ll call you sick for tomorrow, so you can visit a doctor.”)
IN: Appointment(Time: Before 20.00, Priority: Low, Call %Owner%.work sick)
IN: Appointment(Time: Before 20.00, Priority: Low, Call %Owner%.GP appointment)
Speech(Quiet: “Let’s not hurry ourselves. First let those tears go, then you take a bath before going to bed. I’ll call you sick for tomorrow, so you can visit a doctor.”)
Making Appointments… Done 

“Come. Let’s not hurry ourselves. First let those tears go, then you take a bath before going to bed. I’ll call you sick for tomorrow, so you can visit a doctor.”

 “Sometimes, I think you’re just like a human.”

 Signal detected
OUT: Sending Audio and Visual history…
IN: Expect response in 0.3 s…
IN: From older Context, continue previous task
Immediate analysis… Directed statement
Processing…
Subject: Garret
Verb: To think
Direct object: “You’re just like a human”
Dissecting direct object:
Subject: Self
Verb: To be like
Comparison: self and human
Falsehood detected…
Context analysis…
IN: Speech contains confronting thought. Risk of personal damage: Low- (<5%)
IN: Suggest %Owner% does next step of Super task
IN: Super Task: Do not acknowledge confronting thought.
IN: Suggest speech(Quiet: “Hush… Let’s not worry about these things”)
IN: Suggest Hush movement
Speech(Quiet: “Hush… Let’s not worry about these things. Come, a bath is waiting for you…”)
Run Hush movement 

“Hush… Let’s not worry about these things”