27-oct-2018

She is my neighbor, I liked her but always thought that she is beyond my reach because of social status and financial status. she is a surgeon now of 31 yrs old , she got married 4 years back, with a heart specialist, we used to talk normally and rarely. but I always liked her company and she also like mine, we just used to talk nothing physical at all till now. then in last month I on talking with her informed her first time that I liked you and once thought to propose you, to my surprize she said that she also liked me and I  should have proposed her then things will be different, then she told me about her marriage which is not going well, means both of them have totally different outlook about life. likes and dislikes not matched, her husband is kind of money centric and she and me have similar values almost for everything.we talked deeply forfew days and she and me got so much attached to each other and have so much regret that why we missed each other, now on seeing that i proposed her marriage that if really you are not happy in your marriage then take a divorce i ll marry you. i am a single person of 30 yrs old doing job in IT industry as software engineer . initially she told me that if things will be like that then she will leave her husband even if i ll be available there or not for her, but dont knw when. she said that her conscience is not allowing her to let me wait with no certain future. i have cried my heart out for a whole week. beacause i knw nothing in my hand. now not talking with her is difficult and talking with her is also difficult. and moving on in my life by knowing that she may be available later is also difficult.so kind of chaos. then another day she told me clearly that she will not not to me to destroy my life and even if she take divorce then she will live alone. then another day i ask her to reduce talking to me and keep some distance but still she dont want that and somewhere I also dont want that. she told me that we can be friends for lifetime. it would be very much difficult for me still I tried hard and told her that i will not behave like a lover to u anymore like showing attention affection and admiration then .she got upset. we are very clear now for our limits that it is certainly wrong. i convinced my heart to not think her as a partner and become like a friend but that also hurt her as i told her that i will not look her that way anymore. so its total dillemma now. what to do . if any of u expereiced person can tell me that i will be highly thankful.. till now apart from talking we havnt done anything physical...my specific question is what should I do.?

 I want to admit here that I have a hope that she will divorce herself. And if I get married and she got divorced then again same problem. So is it right for me to wait sometime. And till being friends with her only. I don't want to persuade her for divorce. In 4 years of her marriage she is with her husband of 1.5yrs approx also they have very less communication.have u read my link above.and am I anonymous.i don't want to hurt her in any way. If she will tell me to go away .I will go away.but she want me in her life and keep saying me to marry someone..so when I stop saying romantic things to her .she went out of mind.i am confused what she want exactly. Or should I leave her now ….it would be extremely difficult for me also.i am a virgin still. A man of value ..never thought this kind of incident will happen with me.i cant make any physical relationship at all.please help me.being friends and not get attached hurt .talking with her hurt as she is not mine she want to love me bbutcant.not talking with her still hurt ….what I was thinking to give it a time like this only and see after some time what to do next..seriously I am not able to look for other girls for marriage also.its emotional Tsunami for me.help me with experience. May God bless u.

I am in very much pain.I have shared this with my mother and sister, they both said that she will not come to you, dont be in false hopes and keep your distance. but its difficult like hell. its like I am hanging.she wants to be my friend only.I want her companionship.Its feeling very difficult for me to marry anyone else.Please help guys.Am I anonymous? cant put respect and dignity of a women at risk.and yes its not all her fault mine also i should not look towards a married women like this , this situation just happens suddenly, we both belong from a good family of values.now being tested like hell.

31-oct-2018

I have cutoff contact with her totally, she suggested being friends, I denied. if feels like somebody puts a dagger in my heart and rips it apart in 1000 pieces.I am so much afraid to even have a look towards any girl.I am crying from inside and Allah is watching. I did a mistake of loving someone with all my heart who is not available. getting punished , its too much pain. Please pray for me. just a thought of her give me immense pain. I told her that If Allah wills we will meet again else not.but I will not do any wrong. I cant be the part of sin of hoping to break her marriage for me.please pray for me this is unbearable pain for which i cant do anything. I am wishing ke kash wo meri life me kabhi na aayi hoti.
I want to request all of you people who is reading this ki if you have no intention to be in anyone's life then PLEASE I beg to you, dont make him/her suffer , dnt even talk to then romantically. dnt break anyone's heart.How will you answer God then? please stop!