MONDAY 
 
8:25 made it early to the office. kitchenette stacked up on cereals. mmm office cereal. 
 
8:42 work time bby. i got a new song idea lets just work on the notes in garageband for a while 
 
9:00 aw man, were gonna do another season of dont let me down? i thought people hated it, its just a bunch of unconnected 13-minute series of characters unintentionally letting others down! its depressing! 
 
9:13 couldnt say no to our audience. hmph. here we go, storyboard time. 
 
10:37 is that travias song i hear on the radio? is it a travestalk song? for real?! also where is travia anyway? i havent seen her since this morning. 
 
10:40 bah who cares, ill just multitask this dingdong, im gonna draw the storyboard while working on my songs! piece of cake. 
 
11:40 cant... concentrate... 
 
13:56 three episodes and one background music done! oh hey berwald... wait its 2pm already? i mustve lost track of everything... he said i was stressed out and hyperventilating. really now? 
 
14:04 just gonna tweet 'new song coming up, get ready' heh. thatll boost my mood a bit. 
 
14:06 chicken soup lunch 
 
14:10 ok now back to work. 
 
15:10 one more episode and workin on the next background track 
 
15:32 game designers are busy, travia and her team arent here for now, neither are azka and ingvald... seems like theres no one to hang with right now. 
-- 
 
18:00 yas! two more episodes and finished the second track! bye everyone. 
 
18:32 just missed the 6:30 bus! is this day getting worse or am i just sick? 
 
18:48 ugh. rain, how stereotypical. 
 
20:09 back in my room and soaking wet. 
 
20:16 ugh im stuck at writing these lyrics! oh well at least i can upload the background tracks on chirbit. i can just delete those later when the songs are done. 
 
20:25 dwys comic? nothing new. her instagram? nothing new. shivonnes instagram? also nothing new... her tumblr. just a journal entry of our dinner at steamboat burger rolls last saturday. huh guess i better write that story from my pov... and add in the details that. wish happened. probably embed images from my tuding too. 
 
20:58 and done. agh what am i doing? i could write a blog post in minutes but not two measly songs?! what is with me today? 
 
21:01 im bored. lets check youtube. uggghh internet is slowing down at this hour. wait, the newest tab showed a video from quartzircone's channel... and... travestalk! thats travia and her band performing in their studio! this i gotta check out. load. 
 
21:17 watching. texted travia that im watching her vid on youtube right now. 
 
21:21 ngghhh. why. i just felt like crying face down on my pillow. this grudge, whats wrong with me? im supposed to be proud, god dang it! my best friend got to live her ambition while im stuck... here... having 7 more episodes to storyboard and... sigh... lyrics to write. i cant write feeling like this. 
 
21:34 'girrrrl im proud of ya at least one lf us gets to be closer to zephyras status. im honesstly gonna miss the times we parodied her songs in your room' and sent. sigh. hate it when my text is 10% a lie 
 
21:36 she replied, 'shooting the music video for that song right now. its gonna be out on thursday at the fastest, stay tuned. love you, goofball'. aye, little did she know this goofball is metamorphosing into a pile of mush. mushed potato, mashed potato. is metamorphosing even a word? 
 
21:41 hookay im gonna lie down on the bed with my pen and notepad by my side and see if random lyrics come out in my pre-sleep state. 
 
22:03 aaaaaannny minute now... 
-- 
 
TUESDAY 
 
06:24 ngh... huh? oh. still no lyrics. drat. 
 
06:32 gonna randomly scribble something else... how i feel. 
-- 
 
10:00 noooo no NO NO NO NO IM DEAD LATE AAAAAAAAAAAGH 
 
10:39 sigh i had to take a cab to the office, hate wasting money. 
 
10:44 kitchenette cereal again. right, 7 more storyboards to do, i hope i can cram everything and finish by today so i can brainstorm on lyrics. 
hey wait, why dont i just brainstorm them while doing storyboards? easy! i can multitask this dingledongle. 
 
12:30 ugh only one episode and no lyrics a all! my brain hurts. whats wrong with me? i probably need a break 
 
12:49 went to lunch with berwald. what? none of my favorite foods from all the stalls are available? how. HOW. i thought they usually stock up at this time! 
 
12:59 resorted to chicken porridge. berwald said i shouldnt force myself to come up with ideas, or even work when im too tired. sometimes the body needs to relax once in a while. i said i overslept this morning, and during the weekend, ive been slacking off a lot and i dont feel as if office work is stressing me out. and if i do nothing for once in a while how can i progress as far as dwy? did anyone see how many tasks she has to run in a day? 
 
13:13 berwald broke out the big 'see, this is the thing with you' and proceed to point out how im always trying to be like someone else, and comparing myself to them, feeling inadequate at my own expense, and this whole envying and copying thing too on the sidelines. to me that kinda sounds demeaning. people jave their own hobbies. 'people also have their own limitations' he said. one persons limits and timelines might not be the same as anothers, and they cant force it to be, no matter how hard or smart they tried. he is saying this as a friend and coworker who cares for my wellbeing, he says. 
 
13:35 he said some people in the office have already noticed how i went by with coping with inadequacy, and at last weekends dinner, he heard daphne and taufan talk about how i sort of wanted to make himself and ilona do what they did. dang, i thought no one noticed that, was just being me. im a goofball, pretty sure they excuse me for acting like that. he said were all young adults now, which means we cant activate full goofball mode around people were not close to. and using people to copy other people? using your close friends to copy the people you envy? unconventional. he said its one of the ways people lose friends and he doesnt want that happening to me. 
 
13:51 back upstairs. berwald has a point but is he sure that all that is gonna turn my friends against me? pretty sure my closest friends understand me and if they hate me for who i am they dont deserve to be my friends in the first place. 
 
13:57 huff. back to storyboarding 

 

14:02 iced honey lemon tea by my side. sweet. i hope i can cram everything this time. 
 
14:22 agh who am i kidding im gonna go check reddit and see if the videos i posted on vidme has any comments at all. hmm two upvotes each, no comments. welp not gonna care cuz everyone in this office isnt supposed to know i have a reddit. huh maybe ill just remove it from my bookmarks tab, i can still login whenever cuz i got that username and password on lock. yiss. clear history. ah yes the storyboard. 
-- 
 
17:40 four episodes! thats nine altogether since yesterday! ok bathroom break. 
 
17:42 ok drink break. caramel coffee. 
 
18:00 oh dont mind me im just gonna stay the night in the office again. these storyboards are probably gonna be done by 10 o'clock tonight. 
-- 
 
19:57 dinner. prawn crackers. the last three packs on my desk. chili, chili cheese and chili lime. all chili. all is chili. my fingers are chili. 
 
22:12 alright theyre all done! storyboards crossed off the list! now to record my voice. 
 
22:14 dang it! the recording room is locked! and shivonnes not here, she went home hours ago, she usually has the keys! urrrrgghhhhh i cant record like this, this cubicle is an open cubicle! 
 
22:15 ah well whatever. at least i got some or the lyrics, i can improvise! here i go. 
 
22:17 lyrics are starting to get blurry... my fingers are blurry too... wait am i pressing record? wheres my laptop? wheres the- 
 
[THUD] 
-- 
 
WEDNESDAY 
 
07:00 where... am i? am i in a hospital? this room smells funny. 
 
07:01 is that dwy? and berwald? 

 

07:02 they told me they found me motionless but conscious this morning. Im at the clinic  

 

07:03 dwy handed me a medical certificate and told me to go home cuz im burning up. she said i should be fine again in a couple of days. 
 
07:26 they covered me up in a blanket and sent me home. told em i can walk up the stairs just fine. 
 
8:00 lets see here... wait. wheres my laptop 
WHERES MY LAPTOP 
 
8:01 NO I CANT, I COULDNTVE LEFT IT IN THE OFFICE. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY OWN PERSONAL WORKS NOW?! 
 
8:35 called both ingvald and azka. yeah theyve got hold of my laptop alright, and they say theyll come by my place after work 
 
9:00 sigh. what to do. 
 
-- 
 
11:00 guess ive slept for 2 hours or so. feelin less lightheaded. gonna grab my notepad n see if my brain can fart lyrics for these two songs. whew. okay. concentrate on your emotions. open up your inner thesaurus. 
 
-- 
 
15:55 endless cycle of falling asleep, waking up, writing down lyrics and maintaining my pre-sleep state. i guess when you got the will even when resting you can still stay productive. 

 

-- 
 
18:43 opened the door. azka and ingvald with my laptop. i jokingly asked them if theyve messed with it. azka said 'oh please like you cant even trust us' and they small-laughed. their small laugh tone sounds off somehow. 

 

18:44 asked if they wanna chill at my room first, they went 'nope sorry we gotta date with some other friends from our book club, and itll be awkward to bring you with us'. didnt know they even go to a book club. i couldve joined. i love books. 

 

18:55 ooh dwy has a new sketch up on instagram. captain copied. admiral uploaded. 

 

20:14 time to pop those pills from the clinic 

 

20:20 whew all my files are still there, still safe and intact. 

 

-- 

 

THURSDAY 

 

8:45 stupid alarm clock. oh yeah travias music video is gonna be out today. 
 
8:47 checked zephyras instagram. looks like shes also working on a music video. ugh if im signed to a record label I wouldve been doing a music video too and beat them both. 

 
12:00 i hate being sick urrrrrgggghhhhh 

 

12:15 green tea. i hope green tea helps me heal quicker. 
 
12:23 watched travias video premiere on youtube. hm whaddaya know the concept is similar to one of zephs music video where she sings about colors and her being blue and other peoples aura colors. i always knew trav has a greyish purple aura but shes singing about colors based on experiences. two different things. wonder if quartzircone did this on purpose just to one-up dmvz. hahahahahaha. 
 
12:27 heheh. heh. heh. why wasnt i chosen instead. that stupid email suggestion i suggested to her when we were half-faux-drunk with the soda. 

 

12:58 why did i do that why why why wh 
 
13:00 im gonna spend the day hating myself indulging in chicken soup am i? 
 
-- 
 

21:56 the self hate wont go away. gonna pop some pills and wishing theyd cure self hate like they did fevers. 

 

-- 

 

FRIDAY 
 

12:00 just woke up 

 

12:07 sketched because boredom. uploaded some on tuding. 

 

12:11 made soup. ate soup. and now scrolling in soup. 
 
12:20 another nap wont hurt 
 
-- 
 
18:14 whoa im drugged 

 

19:19 should i copy shivonnes blog posts and photos first or should i copy dwys new webcomic update first...? 
 
SATURDAY 
 
7:55 oh my crap i wasted time doing less important copying lemme compose my song first at least 
 
-- 

 

21:55 spent the whole day composing this one song only. Still unsatisfied. 
 
22:09 welp time to upload them to chirbit and reverbnation and maybe tumblr 
 
22:12 hmm shivonne has a new oil painting uploaded on tumblr, and zephyra busted a new poem out. I gotta bookmark that for tomorrow. 

 

-- 

 

SUNDAY 

 

10:05 lucky i still have some oil paint stashed under my bed... but all I have is an a2 drawing block 

 

12:00 finished the oil painting and now, making a mockery of zeph's poem 
 
13:11 oh look travia and her band's group selfie on facebook. she hardly posts any photos anywhere... 

 

17:17 these 5 sick days ironically made my day more productive 

 

 

 

-- 
 
MONDAY 
 
10:29 arrived at the office late, nobody expected me to come. just great. 

 

12:31 travia and her team are at shivonnes office. idk what theyre doing. dont wanna care. whatever im gonna finish these storyboard pages and draw comics of myself actually getting signed by a record label. gonna make it like a comic diary and tumblr n soup dat stuff. 
 
15:44 still time to write a story. gonna continue my comic in story form. tumblr n soup it too. 

 

18:31 home. still havent thought of a name for my fictional record label for my story. somelabelname just doesn’t quite cut it even with a foreign pronunciation 

 

20:08 text. shivonne. last minute announcement of me having to animate some scenes in dont let me down. 

 
-- 

 

TUESDAY 

 

9:20 brought my blanket. layered my cubicle opening with it.  

 

10:20 so much work on my hands. so. much. 

 
12:30 azka and ingvald once again declined my lunch offer. 

 

13:20 haha look at people crawling to get in my cubicle cuz of the blanket this is entertaining 

 

-- 

 

WEDNESDAY 
 
9:00 animation. songs. 

 

11:00 animation. comic strip. songs. 

 

14:00 sketches. more animation. 

 

17:00 songs. animation. comic strip. animation. 

 

18:21 bus.  

 

19:00 yknow what lets just give this thing a break for now its distracting me from whats important 
 

-- 

 

[THREE WEEKS LATER] 

 

THURSDAY 

 

10:00 okay where was the last time i left off? like leaving a proper timestamps log and all? i remember it was a wednesday. anyway i ditched this timestamps log thing cuz it was getting in the way. so far ive done my share of animating scenes from dont let me down, made five other songs, thats a lot of work, and ate nothing but prawn crackers for lunch. itll be a waste of time to document everything cuz its all the same. timestamps arent as important as those. 

 

10:02 by the time i record this, travia already completely moved out, as in she and her team quit working here. heh. its still unbelievable in my ears eventhough her songs and first music video are played everywhere. she moved out last monday, saying goodbye and all I did was sat in my cubicle, i was occupied. whatever. berwald said ive been reclusive lately, especially when travia asks to hang out. told him that azka and ingvald acted the same way when I ask them to hang out, and probably travia did too but I dunno. azkas been acting really secretive lately, like back when she and ingvald returned my laptop when i was sick. ugh. i dont like her tone at all. 

 

 

12:00 what has happened to me, i cant even bring myself to text travia anymore, i still support her... but whenever I see her face or hear her songs something inside me just... sparked. but not the good kind. the destructive kind, like i wanna destroy something. a glimpse of her or her stuff sends me in a bad mood suddenly. this sucks. I wanna just concentrate on my work and just... shut people off. they don’t seem to want to hang out with me anymore this past couple of weeks. they wont even say hi. except for berwald and some other animators maybe, cuz he has to brief with me for some don’t let me down stuff. even ilona seems like shes gotten uncomfortable though she still talks to me. 

 

12:17 this office has probably been taken over by some isolationist demons. everyone is posessed by these demons. well not everyone. 

 

-- 

 

18:00 going home. i probably don’t need to log this in. 

 

19:34 no new comments on my webcomic updates. no new comments on my reverbnation and chirbit. who even uses chirbit anyway? ugh. 
 
20:00 guess im probably gonna copy shivonnes tumblr diaries again and replace her and gioven with azka and ingvald eventhough theyre being jerkwads right now. heh. i guess these fake stories are my escape from reality. 

 

-- 

 

FRIDAY 

 

8:00 why is the hallway empty? whats going on? 

 

8:02 alex approached me and said shivonne wants to see me. i thought ze wanted to brief in on another storyboard i was doing. Is she gonna assign me to an even bigger project? 
 
8:04 or... something tells me this isnt gonna be a bigger project. something tells me... this is gonna be scary and im gonna hate it. 

 

8:06 her room is surprisingly dark. 
 
--