Sofia’s Diary

 

Entry 1

Ok so I decided to write a diary. I’ll probably either look back at this and cringe, or laugh uncontrollably. I must admit it is a bit lonely out here on my own and this is a good way of passing the time, when I’m not getting drunk or annoying some poor unfortunate fool who happens to come across my path. To be honest though I doubt this is a good idea as I just know someday someone else is going to read this. Knowing my luck it will be the exact moment I finally meet someone who likes me for who I am.

 

Entry 2

It has been too long since I have come across anyone worthy enough to get close to. If I can easily beat someone in combat then they are not worth joining me in combat. Not that I need protection, I have spent enough time on my own to look after myself but I don’t want to become someone’s babysitter. What worries me is dying alone, and everyone I try to make a pass at is only interested in one thing and runs a mile as soon as I open my mouth, or gets a little intimidated by my strength.  Ok so I don’t always say the right things and I’m not exactly the kind to be slaving over a hot stove, but they don’t know the real me. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m not perfect.

 

Entry 3

So today I was thinking to myself, what is my purpose in life? Yes, killing those who deserve it can be fun, but why? No one really appreciates my efforts. No one has bothered to write a book of my exploits or thank me for dealing with their bandit problems. I suppose the only reason I risk my life on a daily basis is because I don’t really have anything in life. It seems looks can only get you so far. Sure I can satisfy certain urges but the next day they act like they don’t even know me. I’ve vowed to get my revenge though. I love to tease people giving them the false hope that I would actually even consider looking at them, then at the last minute stand them up and make them look like idiots. People do the same to me when they just use me so it seems fair, and I do make quite the convincing seductress.

 

Entry 4

On a lighter note, today I was hunting for my dinner, as we can’t all be jarls or pompous noble men, or should I say no-balls men. That Redguard guy in Whiterun seriously makes my blood boil, I mean it’s no wonder they call it the cloud district as they always seem to have their head in the clouds. Anyway as I was saying, I was hunting for my dinner after a few drinks when I saw a movement near some trees, it didn’t have human coloured skin so I shot at it. Then I heard “ow some fool’s shot me in the bottom”, to which I couldn’t stifle my laughter. It was a wood elf and luckily he was fairly weak looking and in so much pain that he wasn’t exactly in the position to be coming after me. I probably shouldn’t have attempted hunting whilst a bit drunk and I never did actually catch anything. Is it cruel that I found it funny? Possibly, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

 

Entry 5

I don’t think I will be stepping foot inside the clothes shop in Solitude again. I got a nasty surprise when today I went inside and found a couple of pretentious high elves who thought they knew better than me but I soon set them straight. I’ve never seen anyone shut up so quickly, and it was true they did look ridiculous trying to be something they’re not. I mean they run a clothes shop for Talos sake so they are hardly nobility, but then again most high elves do have inflated egos and just don’t see that people are laughing at them behind their backs. Anyway I only managed to avoid jail today as one of the guards took a fancy to me, although I managed to slip away before he tried anything on. That was for an unrelated incident though. That fletcher is such a snitch, ok so I shot him with an arrow, after all the best way to test them out is on a live subject. Unfortunately the guards didn’t share my opinion. I think I overstayed my welcome so I hit the road and made camp nearby.

 

Entry 6

Being the adventurer that I am I just had to witness the amazing city of Markarth for myself. It was every bit as marvellous as I had imagined with its strange architecture and the whole mystery surrounding the place. I’ve heard that there’s a whole dwarven city underground there but it seems that it is off limits to the locals. It was one tough journey to get to Markarth though with all the forsworn attacks. Is it weird that I found their rather revealing outfits a turn on? Well anyway I still proceeded to killing every last one of them that tried to ambush me. Sometimes I amaze myself at how well I can handle myself in combat. I’m sure not many people could face five forsworn and live to tell the tale. For once though I decided it was probably best if I made an effort to behave myself once in Markarth, as the tales of Cidna mine and the corrupt Silver Blood family did kind of intimidate me a little.

 

Entry 7

So today I decided to visit Riften as I had heard it was a place full of sinners which of course sounds exactly like my kind of place. I had overheard someone say that they were making deliveries to the Pawned Prawn. Hearing of Riften’s reputation I of course instantly got the wrong idea and made the shop keeper there blush when I started asking about certain things. I then discovered that Haelga’s bunk house was not what I thought it was either. I mean come on, the capital of sin in Skyrim and not a single brothel. After visiting the temple of Mara I felt as if I was going to be sick. I mean all that talk of love and marriage. Who in their right mind would want to get married, I’ve seen what marriage does to people in Skyrim. Prepare food, sell some junk for money and say ridiculous soppy lines that give the false impression of true love. No thank you. At the end of the day after turning down some proposal from the thieves’ guild and starting an argument with some grumpy troll trying to sell me light armour at extortionate rates I slept at the Bee and Barb.

 

Entry 8

I made my way to Windhelm for a cultural tour of one of the oldest parts of Skyrim. It was a drastic change from the warm springs of the Rift and I could barely feel my toes. I was surprised to find out that half of the city was a slum full of dark elves, and the other not much better but instead full of bitter, hateful nords. I was so bored and when the grumpy old guy at the potion shop there had a go at me for taking up his precious time, I decided I would get my own back. It seemed he took this potion at regular intervals so I decided I would brew up my own potion for him instead. Ok so maybe it was a bit gross but I had no idea how to mix a proper potion so I emptied his mixture and urinated in the bottle instead. I of course couldn’t just stand there but I had to see his reaction so I hid till the moment he drank it. He swallowed the whole thing and nearly choked to death. I think once he caught me hiding, that he figured it was me and I ended up being ran out of town by the elderly maniac, who proceeded to chuck potion bottles at me. He was a terrible shot and only managed to splash my face slightly, luckily it didn’t seem to be anything toxic.

 

Entry 9

So lately I’ve been watching this adventurer. It seems their exploits are starting to become known around Skyrim. It’s like the answer to my prayers. They are good looking, brave and adventurous with a small but loyal following. What more could a woman like me ask for? I’m going to try to be on my best behaviour in the hope that they will approach me. I’m so nervous. This is a rare opportunity for me but I just know I’m going to mess something up. Now I’m just going to play it cool and take things slowly, I don’t want to come across as desperate or needy. I know people say be yourself but in my case that never seems to work out. If I can pull off my feminine charms I might be able to join them on their adventures which in turn will gain me the recognition I deserve. It’s not like I couldn’t match up to them in battle. Yes I would be using them for their reputation but maybe I could return the favour, or perhaps they would be doing me the favour depending on what angle I look at it. Only time will tell.